


The Damned Generation

by cap_and_cyborg



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Brainwashing, Concentration Camps for Kids, Darkest Minds AU, Eventual Amputee!Bucky Barnes, Eventual Deaf!Clint Barton, F/M, Far in the Background Thor/Jane, Fluff, Found Family, Fully finished, Fury is Kinda a Dick, Just Not the Usual Ones, M/M, Minor Character Death, Near Death Experiences, Reunions, Steve Rogers and Dum Dum Dugan Brotp, Steve Rogers and Natasha Romanoff Brotp, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide mention, This isn't as sad as it sounds holy shit, everyone has powers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-23
Updated: 2019-09-05
Packaged: 2020-01-24 06:54:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 56
Words: 84,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18566218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cap_and_cyborg/pseuds/cap_and_cyborg
Summary: Before the world had gone to shit and kids had been locked up in camps, before cryo tanks and brainwashing, before blanks stares and screaming, there had been two boys from Brooklyn.  They would play together in the streets, watch each others’ backs in a fight and patch the other one up afterward, and love each other in the little kid way that was totally unconditional.  Those feelings evolved into a powerful, end of the line kind of love that sustained them through the worst parts of their lives.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a Darkest Minds AU that I've been working on for about 4 years now. I wanted to have it finished before I posted it, so that you all wouldn't have to wait between chapters for the next one. I'm going to post a chapter every Monday and Thursday until all 56 chapters are out. I hope you enjoy it!

“No! No, you can’t take him away from me!  Bucky, Bucky, look at me! You’ve got to remember me!  Bucky, I love you. Please! Fight them!” Steve screamed, struggling against the guards that tried to hold him back from Bucky’s cryo tank.

 

Bucky turned towards him at the sound of the shouting, but Steve could tell he didn’t recognize him.  He didn’t try to break the restraints around his chest and legs. 

 

“Who the hell are you?” he asked, and there was none of the love they had protected and fought for in his expression.

 

Steve felt something inside himself break as he stared at Bucky.  One of the agents that had been holding him back hit him on the back of his head.  Going completely limp, he allowed himself to be dragged away, still conscious enough he could force his eyes open.  He never looked away from Bucky as he was pulled from the room. But Bucky had already turned away, disregarding the man he had loved all his life, looking instead at the doctor that would put him under as if nothing was wrong.

 

* * *

 

  
  


Steve and Bucky were inseparable since the first day they’d met.  Steve had punched Timmy Adams in the face for calling Suzy Queen ugly, and Bucky had stopped Timmy from kicking Steve while he was already down.  After telling Bucky he’d had Timmy on the ropes, to which Bucky replied he believed him, they had become best friends. Them against the world, including bullies and illnesses. Through fifth grade, the only school year they had ever been placed in different classes.  Against Steve’s mother being sick, though they lost that round. Through losing Bucky’s dad in a freak accident at the factory he worked at a year ago, leaving Bucky’s ma with Bucky, Steve, and her newborn daughter, Rebecca. Steve and Bucky had always thought nothing could tear them apart.

 

That was until they both woke up one day when they were sixteen and something was… strange.  Steve was used to feeling sick, but this was different. He felt feverish, like he was burning up, but not weak.  In fact, he felt the strongest he had in all his life. He staggered out of bed and tried to open the door to get to the hallway, only to rip it off the frame.

 

“Buck?” he said loudly, trying not to panic, propping the door against the wall.

 

“In here,” Bucky called back from down the hall in the bathroom, sounding totally wrecked.

 

Steve made his way slowly to him, opening the door slowly and carefully to avoid breaking this one too.  Bucky was slumped over the toilet, which he had obviously used multiple times to empty his stomach.

 

“Oh, geez, Buck.  You ok?”

 

Bucky wheezed out a laugh.  “Hell no.”

 

Steve leaned over Bucky to flush the toilet and came away with the handle in his hand.  They both stared at it for a moment before Steve whispered, “Me neither.”

 

Bucky shakily made his way to his feet and rinsed his mouth out in the sink.  He looked at himself in the mirror a moment before starting down the hall. “Ma?” he called, unable to keep the fear out of his voice.  

 

Steve followed, careful to not touch anything in case he broke something else.  He didn’t even help Bucky when he staggered, because of all the things that could be broken in this house, Bucky was by far the most precious.  

 

“Ma?” Bucky said again, going into the kitchen.  Steve came up behind him and almost ran into his back when he stopped dead.

 

Bucky’s mom, Winifred, was sitting at the dining room table, watching the news and crying.  Rebecca, Bucky’s baby sister, was in her arms, asleep.

 

She looked up as they slowly crept into the kitchen.  Her red, swollen eyes widened as she saw them, then filled with tears again as she started sobbing.

 

“My boys… my beautiful boys.  No… no…”

 

Bucky walked forward, going to comfort her, but stopped himself.  “Ma, what’s happening? What’s wrong with us?”

 

Sniffing, Winifred gathered herself and sat up straighter, though she clutched Rebecca closer.  “The government says that across the country, children are experiencing changes and should be brought in for examination if they are showing signs of any of those symptoms,” she replied, nodding at the television, as if unwilling to let go of her daughter for even a moment.  

 

Steve looked and saw a list going across the bottom of the screen.  It seemed endless:  _ fever, confusion, vomiting, fainting, unprecedented agility or strength, newfound ingenuity… _

 

“Apparently there have been cases all summer, but they are just giving out the information now.  There was a spike in the number of people affected,” Winifred continued tearfully.

 

“Becca’s ok, right?” Bucky asked, reaching for his sister.  Winifred recoiled away from him. Withdrawing his hands, Bucky tried to keep the pain off his face, but Steve saw it.

 

“She’s fine.  Apparently, it’s just affecting teenagers.  She doesn’t have a fever. She’s just sleeping, and I don’t want to wake her,” Winifred replied, trying to keep her voice light.

 

Bucky nodded, clenching his jaw tight so as to not let the hurt out.  Steve came up behind him and instinctively put an arm around his shoulder, squeezing his upper arm to comfort him.

 

The crack of bone echoed around the kitchen before Bucky let out a shocked gasp and dropped to his knees, clutching his arm.  Steve leaped back, horrified, because  _ he had hurt Bucky, he had  _ hurt _ Bucky, he had hurt  _ Bucky.

 

Winifred screamed and leaped to her feet, but didn’t go to help her son.  Instead, she scrambled backward, away from the pair of them, towards her room and slammed the door.  Steve heard her starting screaming into her phone, and he hoped that she had called the ambulance to help Bucky because he was just sitting there, his face tight with pain as he tried not to cry and Steve could only stand over him in shock because he had broken Bucky, his best friend, the person he cared about most in the world.  And he had hurt him. On accident, yes, but just the fact his body was capable of that, of that evil, made him look at his hands and feel like vomiting.

 

“Stevie, you gonna stand there and stare or help me out?” Bucky grunted, trying to mask the pain.

 

“Buck, I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to, I swear-” Steve babbled before Bucky cut him off.

 

“I know, Stevie, I know.  C’mon, we need to go. Ma’s calling the cops.”

 

“What?!” Steve exclaimed, looking to Winifred’s door.  He could still hear her voice, but couldn’t make out what was being said.  “How do you know?”

 

Bucky shrugged, then gasped in pain.  “Gotta be the illness or something, I dunno.  You wanna stand around and figure it out or get out of here before the cops show?”

 

“Why do we have to go, though?  The police could help us,” Steve said.

 

“Steve, I don’t know how.  But I just  _ know _ we don’t want to be brought in for testing,” Bucky replied, his blue eyes wide, his tone of voice firm.

 

Steve still hesitated.  But then he heard sirens in the distance, and that made him spring into action.

 

“Stay here a second,” he said, rushing to their bedroom and grabbing the first bag he could find, which turned out to be his school backpack.  He dumped out his books and the homework he had worked on just last night, which had seemed so important at the time. Steve quickly grabbed a change of clothes for both of them, the book he kept his life savings in between the pages,  _ The Art of War _ , and finally the picture of his mother he kept on his bedside table, before he ran back to Bucky’s side, pushing his arms through the straps and buckling it for good measure.

 

Bucky had moved while Steve had been frantically packing.  He was leaning against the door frame that led to rest of the apartment building, breathing heavily from just that much movement.  Sweat was dripping from his forehead and his left arm hang limply from his side. He was Bucky, though, so Steve thought he still looked beautiful, despite the pain lining his face.

 

“I told you not to move, Barnes,” he scolded, trying to ignore the wail of sirens that got closer and closer.  Not an ambulance, but the police.

 

“Well, you were taking too long, Rogers, and I’m a busy man, so couldn’t stick around all day,” Bucky teased back, regarding him with a look in his eyes that warmed Steve down to his bones.

 

“C’mon, I’m gonna have to carry ya,” Steve said, hesitantly holding out his arms.

 

Bucky didn’t even think about stepping forward, even though one of his arms was currently unusable because of Steve.  Steve tried to fathom that level of confidence in him as he scooped Bucky up gently in his arms, bridal style. Bucky winced but otherwise remained silent as Steve made his way down the hallway, then the steps to get outside, and began to run down the block, away from where the sirens were coming.

 

It was incredible.  The strength he was so afraid of pumped through his legs and propelled them forward faster than he had ever been capable of before.  It felt as if Bucky weighed nothing in his arms, even though he was taller than Steve.

 

He was so preoccupied with his new found strength he almost missed Bucky shouting in his ear.

 

“Steve, they’re following us, I can hear them coming up behind!”

 

“I’m on it!” Steve yelled back, taking a right to try to throw the police off their trail.  Only, he wasn’t used to his body still and took the turn too tight. Suddenly he was faced with the brick corner of a building.

 

“Oh, shi-” he muttered, throwing himself around so his back was the first thing to go through stone, not Bucky, as they crashed through the wall.

 

Bucky hissed in pain as they landed.  Steve looked down to see that Bucky’s face was white, a bruise was blooming on his temple, and his lip was bloodied.  He must have bitten it during the fall. Steve couldn’t stand to see him like that.

 

“Buck, you need a hospital.  We gotta turn ourselves in.”

 

“Like hell, Rogers, we don’t know what they’ll do to you,” Bucky replied, shaking his head even as his face contorted with pain.

 

“Well, they could help you, jerk, so we’ve gotta,” Steve said decisively, getting up with Bucky still in his arms.

 

“No!  Steve, c’mon, they’ll separate us.  They might do experiments on you. I promised your ma I’d look after you.  You can’t make me go against that promise now, Stevie. Not after everything,” Bucky pleaded, trying to struggle weakly in Steve’s arms, but Steve held him firmly yet gently.

 

“I’m sorry, Buck,” Steve whispered, then leaned down and kissed his forehead.

 

Taking advantage of Bucky’s shocked silence, Steve strode forward and said to the nearest pedestrian, “My friend needs the hospital and I would like to turn myself in for testing.”

 

Bucky regained his mental capacity when the ambulance showed up. He began to struggle again but Steve held him to his chest, being careful with his arm and with him in general.  He would never forgive himself for hurting Bucky more than he already had. He didn’t know if he could forgive himself for the pain he had already inflicted.

 

“No, no, Steve, we can still get away, we can still make it.  I don’t wanna lose you, ya punk, don’t make me leave,” Bucky started begging, scrambling around in Steve’s arms, trying to grab hold of Steve.  But one of his arms was broken and the other was trapped between him and Steve. In the end, he only got a feeble grip on Steve’s collar with his pinned arm.

 

“I’m sorry, Buck.  You need help and I hurt you.  You shouldn’t be around me,” Steve replied, trying not to cry as he looked down at his best friend.

 

Bucky was crying as the paramedics approached warily.  “Stevie, please…”

 

“You’re safer without me anyway, Buck,” Steve tried to joke, kneeling to gently set Bucky down. 

 

Bucky’s eyes narrowed and his chin jutted out, staring defiantly up at Steve.  His grip tightened on Steve’s collar and he dragged him down until their lips met.  It was the first time they had kissed. It was angry and bittersweet and loving. It said, “I will fight to find you again.  You’re my best friend. I’m with you ‘til the end of the line.”

 

They had woken up today with powers.  But feeling Bucky’s lips against his own changed Steve’s world even more than his newfound strength.

 

And then it was over.  The paramedics put Bucky on a stretcher and put him in the ambulance.  The police showed up and put Steve in a van. He and Bucky shared one more look before the doors closed and all there was to look at was metal.


	2. Chapter 2

The cops didn’t take Steve to the police station.  Instead, they transferred him en route to a different van, where Steve was restrained with thick, metal cuffs on his hands and feet.  His backpack was taken away. Whenever he tried to speak, the person in the passenger seat yelled for silence while the driver ignored him.  Both were armed.

 

Steve tried not to think about Bucky, which led him to only thinking of Bucky.  If he was getting the treatment he needed, if they had restrained him too, if he was in pain.  Finally, Steve fell asleep fitfully, chin falling to his chest before jerking upwards again.

 

He woke for good when the van came to an abrupt halt.  He was manhandled out into the night, then surrounded by armed soldiers.  

 

One hit the back of his head with a rifle and snarled, “Walk.”

 

Steve turned to glare at the woman only to find himself looking down the barrel of a gun on all sides.  Taking a calming breath, he let himself be led into a complex. There seemed to be a row of trailers and a few larger buildings that couldn’t be distinguished from the outside.  However, he could make out fields off in the distance.

 

Even though it must be the middle of the night, there were guards and lights everywhere.  All the guards had weapons on them, and all the light posts had loudspeakers attached. 

 

Steve heard whispers as he was escorted to one of the bigger buildings.  

 

“Must be a Blue.”

 

“Can’t be, the kid’s tiny.”

 

“Maybe he turns green, too.”

 

“Let’s hope not; it’s hard enough to contain the other one.”

 

The voices faded away as Steve entered what turned out to be a medical ward.  One of the guards went up to the nurse at the desk and said, “I have a boy that needs to be tested.  Probably a Blue, but thought the doc should make sure.”

 

“Alright,” she replied, not even looking at Steve.  “Dr. Zola is on duty, he’ll see him in Exam Room 5.”

 

After being led down a hallway and into a room, Steve was strapped to an examination table with the same thick cuffs as before.  Most of the guards left, but one stayed at the door on the lookout.

 

Steve only had to wait a few minutes before a short man with a large forehead and beady eyes came bustling in.  He talked to himself as he set up his equipment, but ignored Steve until he saw fit.

 

“Very well.  Rogers, Steven.  You started showing symptoms at around 9:30 this morning, yes?” he demanded.

 

Steve nodded, wondering how Dr. Zola knew his name.  He hadn’t given it to anyone.

 

“I am going to scan you so we may know what color you should be classified as,” Dr. Zola continued, his eyes narrowing as he began fiddling with a machine.

 

“This is a test?” Steve asked, gesturing to the machine with his head, as he didn’t have any other part of his body available.

 

“Yes.”

 

“Will it hurt?”

 

Dr. Zola smiled.  “No, this part won’t.  What comes after might.”

 

The scanner beeped.  Zola looked at the screen and nodded.  “Like we thought, Blue. Excellent. We can always use more muscle here.”

 

“What does that mean?” Steve asked.  “What’s wrong with me? What’s Blue?”

 

Zola smiled.  It wasn’t reassuring.  “You have been given a gift, like the rest of the people here.  But we need to make sure you are safe to be in society before we let you go.  It will take testing and work, but maybe someday you will be reunited with your family.”

 

“What about the boy I was with before?  What will happen to him?” Steve asked, unable to help himself.  He had to know.

 

Dr. Zola raised an eyebrow, then shrugged.  “I assume he will be treated and then sent to a camp.  It may not be this one. Guards,” he called towards the hallway, “take this ward to the Blue bunkhouse.”

 

No.   _ No. _  Steve had promised Bucky he would find him.  They were separated now, but he didn’t want to stay that way.

 

In quick movements, Steve broke first the arm restraints, then the leg.  He leaped past the guard outside the door even as Zola shouted in alarm. Taking off down the corridor, he saw that guards were moving to block the exit, guns drawn.  So instead, he took a sharp turn and ran straight through the outer wall of the building and raced across the lawn towards the gate that led to freedom, to Bucky.

 

He was within fifty feet of it when the worst noise he had heard in his life assaulted his ears.  Crying out, he tried to clamp his hands over his ears to block out the noise, but it seemed to go right through them, burrowing into his brain and ringing so loudly he couldn’t think straight. 

 

Steve dropped to one knee and then both, but continued to crawl his way towards the gate.  The noise got even worse until he was groaning into the grass, his head dragging on the ground as he inched onward.  The only thought he could hold in his head against the noise was Bucky. Bucky was on the other side of that gate. Bucky was waiting for him.  He had to find Bucky.

 

But the noise was so bad, he couldn’t fight the blackness that was creeping around his vision.  He scrabbled for holds on the ground to propel himself forward, but his body wasn’t responding. He couldn’t move, he couldn’t think, he couldn’t  _ breathe _ .

 

He never fully lost consciousness, but when the noise stopped, his head still rang with it, disorienting him and keeping him immobile.  Guards put cuffs on him again, forcing his arms and legs together. He vaguely remembered the sense of being put roughly on a stretcher, carried, and dumped on somewhere only marginally softer.

 

After the thump of the soldiers’ boots faded into nothing, he heard muttering around him indistinctly, but couldn’t make it out.  To escape the pain still hammering his brain, he forced himself to welcome the blackness and pass out.


	3. Chapter 3

Steve woke up with a massive headache and a hand shaking his shoulder. He cracked his eyes opened and saw a tall, blonde boy standing over him.

“If you don’t wish to be woken by the loudspeakers, you might want to get up now,” he said.

“What the…” Steve muttered, then he remembered. Waking up with strength. Hurting Bucky. Running away from the cops. Turning them in. Getting to Hydra. Trying to escape. “Shit!” he said, sitting up quickly.

“Whoa, whoa, it’s okay. Well, it’s not, but calm down,” another boy, this one with dark hair and glasses, said, hands raised.

“Who are you?” Steve demanded.

“I am Thor Odinson,” the blonde said, then gestured to the other teen. “This is Bruce Banner.”

“Hi,” Bruce said, giving Steve a little wave.

“Steve Rogers,” he said distractedly. 

“Nice to meet you, Steve. If only it was under better circumstances,” Thor said.

Bruce handed him a bundle of blue clothing. “Here’s your uniform. We had to guess sizes, so it might be a bit big, but try them on.”

Both the shirt and the pants were blue.

“Guys,” Steve said, swallowing hard. “I’m getting a colored triangle, concentration camp kinda vibe from all this.”

They looked at each other and then Steve, and he got all the answers he needed in their gaze.

The loudspeaker on the wall burst to life, “Everyone up and to the dining hall. Anyone still in bed at the second call will be put in confinement. This is your only warning.”

“Get changed, Steve,” Bruce said, turning his back for privacy.

Steve did, trying not to feel self-conscious as all the other blues got up and started to leave. A lot of them gave him looks, trying to size him up.

“Okay, I’m ready.”

He wasn’t, not really, but he said it anyway.

The dining hall was crammed with people. All of them were wearing either Blue, Green, Purple, or Orange. Steve stopped dead when he saw a boy his age clothed in Orange.

“Guys…” He couldn’t say more, just stare in horror.

The boy was wearing a muzzle. Steve couldn’t see his mouth at all, it was covered and forced shut by the metal.

“Keep walking, Steve, c’mon,” Bruce said, pulling him along. “Oranges can control minds. They keep the muzzles on them until it’s time to eat and then monitor them like hawks. That’s their section over there, with all the armed guards. If anyone of them tries to speak, they get tazed. Or shot. Depends how the guards are feeling.”

“This is so fucked up, oh my god,” Steve muttered.

“I know. Grab a tray,” Bruce directed.

Steve went through the motions of getting food without really thinking. He had done a similar thing just days ago at his high school lunchroom. But this was so different. There weren’t guards all around at school. Or guns. Or kids in uniforms everywhere he turned.

He was so out of it he didn’t notice he was about to run into someone until they twisted out of his way in a contortion he didn’t think was possible.

“Whoa, man, you good?” the black teen asked.

Steve let out a hysterical laugh that made a few people turn to stare at him. “No, I’m definitely not good.”

“Okay, I need you to smile and apologize and we’re going to walk to a table like nothing is happening cause the guards are watching and I don’t want you to get in trouble,” the boy said.

Steve did as he said. He sat and Thor and Bruce dropped into seats next to him and the other boy. 

“Hey, Sam,” Bruce said quietly.

“Good to see you, Bruce, Thor,” Sam replied. “I’m Sam. You’re new, right?” 

Steve nodded.

“Alright, I’ll give you the rundown like they do in the movies. It’s like high school cliques but this is a different kind of hellscape. Blues have super strength. Purples like me have insane amounts of agility. That move I did to avoid running into you? That was easy for me. Greens are geniuses, but for specific things. We don’t see a lot of them cause the guards take them to a separate building during the day and they have their specific bunkhouse to sleep in at night. And Oranges read minds. Control minds. Hence the muzzles. Keeps them from talking and suggesting things for people to do. Some don’t need to talk to control people, just think at them. You don’t see them after that,” Sam said.

“This is insane. Powers? What the fuck?” Steve asked.

“I know. I felt the same when I got sick,” Bruce said. “Got angry at one of my teachers and how they were treating a classmate and suddenly, I’m green and huge and tearing apart the school.”

Steve raised his eyebrows at him. “Could happen to anyone, I’m sure.”

“These days? That’s truer than you think.”

“You need to eat, Steve. The day has only just begun,” Thor urged him.

Steve forced himself to eat. His stomach was in knots the more he looked around the room and saw a new horror. Kids with bruises on their faces and arms. The muzzles hanging around Oranges necks as they ate silently. The different weapons at the sides of every guard in the room.

“Breakfast is over, see your overseer to know your chores today,” the loudspeakers announced.

“This way, Steve,” Thor said.

The Blues were put to work. Steve could tell this camp and its building were new because there was a lot of construction around it. They had to haul the trees, boulders, and other debris away from the building. It was so odd to use his muscles and never have them burn from exertion. He never tired throughout the day, no matter how much he moved. 

He stuck closely to Thor and Bruce. At lunch, they sat with Sam again.

“What do they make you do?” he asked him as they ate.

Sam shrugged. “Depends on what they need done. We clean. We organize the belongings that come in with the kids. We’re pretty mixed with Purples and Oranges. They keep the Greens busy with smart stuff, making plans and solving problems.”

“Talking about me, Wilson?” a black-haired boy said as he sat down.

“Not you in particular, no. Just Greens in general,” Sam replied.

“Well, I have been solving problems all day, so my mistake.” The Green turned to Steve and said, “Tony Stark.”

The way he said it made Steve think he was supposed to know his name, but nothing came to mind. “Steve Rogers,” he replied, not knowing what else to do.

Tony looked at him a moment before he started to eat. “You new here, Steve?” he asked.

“Yeah.”

“Aw, baby’s first forced work day,” Tony said.

“Tony,” Sam said, giving him a look. “Over there, Steve, that’s a girl who works with me a lot,” he said, changing the subject. He pointed to a girl with red hair, dressed in Orange. She was standing in line next to a boy wearing Green, though neither were talking. At Sam’s words though, the Orange turned and looked over. Sam waved and she nudged the boy beside her. She had to do so to get his attention. Like the other Oranges in the room, she had a muzzle on her face. She nodded over to Sam and the Green turned. He grinned and held up a finger, motioning for them to wait.

They got their food and made their way over.

“Hey, Sam-o,” the boy said.

“Don’t call me that, Clint,” Sam said. The boy, Clint, grinned at him.

The girl tapped his shoulder and motioned to the section of Oranges.

“Before you go, Nat, I wanted to introduce you to my new friend. This is Steve. It’s his first day here,” Sam said. “Steve, this is Natasha.”

Steve had a wave of appreciation for Sam. He had known him for maybe an hour at most and was already introducing him as a friend. He looked at him and smiled, then turned to Natasha.

“It’s nice to meet you,” he said.

She held her tray in one hand and made a motion with her other.

“She said “You too” in sign language,” Clint supplied.

“Thanks,” Steve said to him. “See you around,” he said to Natasha and she nodded before she headed over to the corner of the room.

“So what’s your color?” Tony said when Steve turned back to the table.

“Blue.”

“Huh. Wouldn’t have guessed,” Tony said, looking him up and down. Steve did the same and felt a flash of anger. He was wearing the deep blue uniform, so the answer was right there for Tony to see. Why had he asked? Cause Steve was tiny?

“Got something you wanna say?” he said, jutting out his chin. If Bucky were here, he would mutter “Oh, here we go,” under his breath. He knew the signs when Steve was gearing up for a fight.

“Nothing, nothing. Just you don’t seem the type. Look at Thor. Look at his arms. Now there’s a Blue,” Tony stated.

“I could take you even if I didn’t have my powers, pretty boy,” Steve said to Tony, trying not to look over and compare his small stature to Thor’s much more impressive one.

“I guess we’ll never know, will we?” Tony asked.

“Tony, leave him alone. You were the one that asked,” Clint said, shooting him a look. “By the way, I’m a Green. I don’t know if you knew this, but a lot of us Greens have specialities. I’m good with math and angles and shit. Tony can figure out just about any machine at a glance. Makes sense, given family history.”

“Sorry?” Steve asked as others around the table nodded.

“What? You don’t know who my old man is?” Tony asked.

“Should I?”

“Oh my god, you don’t know. You’re my new favorite person. No one tell him,” Tony said, pointing around the table.

Steve looked at him and tried to picture him older. Maybe with a beard. Moustache? Oh.

“Your dad is Howard Stark,” he said. 

“Dammit,” Tony said. “Yeah. Him.”

“Do you think he’ll try to get you back? Save you?” Steve said, trying to not let too much hope into this voice.

Tony laughed bitterly. “My dear old dad was the one who had me brought into testing. Didn’t even do it himself, just had our butler escort me. He said he knew something was wrong when I was suddenly smarter than him. I bet he doesn’t even notice I’m gone.”

“Shit. Sorry, Tony,” Steve said.

He shrugged a shoulder. “Dads, right?”

“Lunch has now concluded. Dispose of your trays and get back to work,” the intercom said.

“Duty calls,” Tony said, getting up. Clint followed him, giving Steve and the rest a little salute.

“Come along, Steve. We must report to duty,” Thor said, rising as well.

“See you at supper, Steve,” Sam said.

“Yeah, see ya,” Steve said.

It was crazy, but for a moment while he was throwing away his food and putting his tray on the counter, he felt grateful. Yes, he was in the middle of a work camp for super-powered teenagers. Yes, he was separated from everyone he cared about. But it seemed like he was making friends. People he could count on during this. Steve just hoped wherever he was, Bucky would have people there for him too, seeing as Steve couldn’t be.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fair warning, there's a guy trying to hit on a 14-year-old girl in this chapter. He's a creep and we know Steve doesn't approve of creeps, so it turns out okay.

Steve, do you need another size up again?” Bruce asked him as they got dressed. 

 

Steve looked down and saw his shirt was much tighter than two months ago, when he had gone up another size.  He had gone up three sizes in the year he had been at Hydra. He didn’t know if his growth spurt was because of his powers or he had just been a very late bloomer, but he had grown in both height and weight in his time at Hydra.  He was unrecognizable to his former stature. But his face was the same.

 

“Yeah, maybe.”

 

“Come, friends, we must get to the dining hall to see if Natasha has returned,” Thor urged them.

 

Natasha hadn’t been at meals for the last four days.  Everyone was starting to panic, especially Clint and, somewhat surprisingly, Sam.  When Steve asked him about it, Sam swallowed and said, “The last time someone important to me disappeared in this place, they didn’t come back.”

 

That happened every once in a while.  Someone would be gone the next time they went to work or went to mealtime.  All the other teens knew they hadn’t escaped. They’d either died of exertion or were taken for experimentation in the one building that wards avoided at all cost.  

 

They walked to the cafeteria and scanned the room.  No sign of her.

 

Steve tried not to glare at every guard around him as he got in line.  They had enough reasons to hate him as it was, so he didn’t want to give them an excuse to haul him off to confinement.

 

He had tried to escape four times since his first night.  The guards had gotten so paranoid about Steve trying to leave again they had put an ankle bracelet with a tracker in it on his leg.  It electrocuted him if he tried to take it off. 

 

Steve wasn’t the only one that tried to get out.  Coups would occur every few weeks, a small group of prisoners gathering together to try to make a bid for freedom.  They never made it. The same Noise that had paralyzed Steve the first night would sound and incapacitate the wards.  They would be detained and then put in confinement for a determined period of time, usually without food. Unless the guards were feeling trigger happy that day. 

 

So far, Steve had been lucky.  He hasn’t been shot. But his longest time in confinement after an escape attempt was ten days.

 

The problem was the Noise that the guards used against the wards.  It didn’t affect the guards, only the prisoners, so while the wards were writhing on the ground or bleeding out their ears or maybe even peeing their pants, the guards just went to their location and arrested them.  Tony speculated the Noise had somehow been created to only target people with powers, but even he couldn’t figure out how.

 

Clint came up to them.  “Any sign of her?” he asked, his voice tight.

 

They shook their heads.  Sam approached them, his face emotionless.  “There aren’t many Oranges in here yet. She could still be coming.”

 

Sighing, Clint said, “I’d believe you more if that wasn’t the same thing I said to you when Riley disappeared.”

 

There was a flash of emotion on Sam’s face, something deep and wounded, and then it was gone.

 

They got their food and sat down, trying not to be obvious as they kept looking around the cafeteria.  

 

“Eyes forward!” a guard nearby barked.

 

Obviously, they weren’t conspicuous enough.

 

Someone tapped Clint on the shoulder.  Turning, they all saw Natasha standing there.

 

“Oh thank god,” Sam said, his head falling onto the table as Clint jumped to his feet.  He grabbed her tray and set it on the table before pulling her into a hug. She didn’t respond right away, then wrapped her arms around him so tightly it must have hurt as she buried her face in his shoulder.

 

Steve also stood.  “You okay?” he asked her, knowing she couldn’t really answer him, not with the muzzle on, but he had to know.

 

She looked up at him, still in Clint’s embrace and the look in her eyes told him that no, she wasn’t.  Natasha wasn’t much a hugger, from what Steve had learned about her in the year he had known her, so for whatever she had gone through to make her cling to Clint the way she was, it must have been bad.

 

Steve didn’t have many friends at Hydra, so he knew he had to protect the few he had.  They tried to eat all together in the dining hall, or talk the few spare moments they had while working.  It wasn’t much, but anything helped to make their stay in Hydra a little more bearable.

 

“Hey, get to your section!” a guard called.

 

Natasha disengaged from Clint and motioned with her hand.

 

“We missed you too,” Clint said.

 

She nodded at him, then looked at all the others, before grabbing her tray and walking away.

 

“Sit down!”

 

“If they yell at us one more time…” Bruce said, his eyes glowing green as he glared at the tabletop.

 

“It’s okay, Bruce.  It’s okay. She’s back.  We’re okay,” Sam whispered to him.

 

Bruce took deep breaths until his eyes went back to their normal brown.

 

Steve felt the same though.  There was an anger that was bubbling just below his skin, itching to be released.

 

As he was walking to his work station, he heard something off to the side.  He didn’t even think to tell Thor or Bruce, he just checked the guard escorting them wasn’t looking and cut away from the group to follow the sound.  A Green, older than Steve by a few years, was talking to a small Purple.

 

“You think I care that you’re fourteen?  At this camp, age doesn’t matter. C’mon, I know you want to…” he said, running a hand up her arm.

 

“No, I don’t…” she started, glancing around.  Her eyes landed on Steve. The way her face relaxed when she saw him told Steve all he needed to know.

 

“Step away from the girl,” he demanded.

 

The Green startled, turning to face him.  “Oh, c’mon, don’t be like that, man. She wants this, don’t you?” he asked staring down at the girl.

 

The girl shook her head.  The boy’s hand tightened on her arm until she cried out.

 

“Let. Her. Go,” Steve said again.  

 

The boy’s eyes flickered to the blue of Steve’s uniform.  “Let’s make a deal. You beat me, she walks. You don’t, I get to keep her.”

 

“No deal.  She walks either way.”

 

“That’s no fun.  How about we even the odds?  Hey, guys? We have a Blue who wants to play.”

 

Five other Greens emerged from around the building.  Steve didn’t even want to think what they were doing there as he sized them up.

 

He knew fights would break out sometimes around camp and usually, Steve tried to stay out of them.  Every once in a while, though, he had to step in. There was a notable time when an Orange who could control minds without speaking caused a group of Purples to rush a guard, trying to get their gun.  Steve had to step in to stop them, or else that gun would have been used on them. Another time one of the Blues had targeted an Orange because they couldn’t scream due to the muzzle they were wearing.  Or when… Okay. Maybe he didn’t stay out of fights as often as he should.

 

But every time he saw a bully, he would see Bucky by his side, rolling his eyes and saying, “Alright, Steve, but Ma said to be home by five, ya got it?  We’ll need to keep this short.” Or Bucky would be the first one in the fray with that fire in his eyes that made Steve’s blood sing, knowing Steve had his back.

 

Fighting was Steve’s only way to connect with Bucky these days.  It was a way to remember his looks and his motions. There was probably a better way, but between trying to keep his memories of Bucky alive and his hatred of bullies, he landed in the infirmary at least twice a month.

 

This time, with six Greens against him, didn’t go well.  For all Steve’s strength, he didn’t have any formal training in fighting and was outnumbered.  He managed to distract the boys for long enough that the Purple got away, but in the end, he was overwhelmed.  He was lucky to only have a black eye and some bruised ribs when he woke up wearing restraints in a hospital bed.

 

The curtain around his bed was pulled back and a different doctor than Steve was used to came in.  He actually looked at Steve, not through him, and smiled.

 

“Hello, Steven, I am Dr. Erskine.  How are you feeling?”

 

Confused, Steve answered stiffly, “Like I got hit by six Greens.”

 

Dr. Erskine chuckled, which threw off Steve even more.  Doctors here didn’t engage with patients like this, just gave them the treatment they needed and sent them back to work.  Yet here was this doctor, who looked Steve in the eye, and laughed at what he said. Who was this guy?

 

“I would think you would be used to the feeling, given how many times you have frequented the medical ward,” Dr. Erskine joked, writing down something on his chart and then looking over Steve’s nose.

 

“He was trying to come onto a girl who was too little to give consent,” Steve said.  Every other time that he had tried to justify why he had been fighting, the explanation had fallen on deaf ears.  This time though, he saw a flash of anger cross Dr. Erskine’s face.

 

“The girl, she’s okay?” Dr. Erskine asked.

 

“Yeah, she got away.  I’m afraid they might go after her again,” Steve said.  He didn’t know why he was telling Dr. Erskine this. But he felt like he would actually listen.

 

“I’ll see what I can do to protect her,” he told Steve.  “Could you lift your shirt for me?” he asked politely, setting down his papers to examine Steve’s ribs.

 

Steve did so, trying not to let his discomfort show.  This was totally different from all the other times he had been to the hospital in Hydra, and he didn’t know how to react.

 

He looked around the room to avoid watching the doctor examine him, and his eyes fell on the papers next to his hip.  When he read the handwritten note on them, he jerked in shock.

 

“Do you feel pain there?” Dr. Erskine said, covering for Steve’s unexpected movement.

 

Steve nodded instinctively, eyes still frozen on the words, “I can give you a chance to get out.  Cough twice if you are interested.”

 

He didn’t cough.  His mind was racing.  For a year now, he had tried to get out of this place.  Why would this man help him? Why choose him? Plenty of other wards had tried to get out, though they usually lost hope after their first attempt.  Lots of the prisoners got into fights, but Steve could readily say he got into them more often than most. But why would those traits appeal to this man?

 

And how could he leave his friends behind?  What makes him so special that he would be able to get free while all the other prisoners were forced to stay in here and rot?  He couldn’t let that happen. Not to his friends. He had already left Bucky behind, he wouldn’t do that to the people he counted as his family here.

 

He was just a kid from Brooklyn.  He shouldn’t be chosen to go free.

 

So he didn’t cough.  He stayed silent and stared straight ahead, though he could practically feel the disappointment radiate off Dr. Erskine.

 

“I won’t leave them,” Steve murmured, looking at the curtain that divided him from the rest of the room.

 

Dr. Erskine sighed as he pulled down Steve’s shirt, before saying, “Your ribs are merely bruised, so try to rest them as much as you can in the next few days as you recover.  Be careful with your face, there are lacerations and some bruising there as well, so don’t get into any more fights for a little while, yes?”

 

Steve nodded.  He already knew this, had known what was wrong with him and how to fix himself from the moment he had woken up.  He just wished his heart would stop beating so fast at the prospect of getting out.

 

He could get out and look for Bucky.

 

But his friends…

 

But he could try to find  _ Bucky _ .

 

“Heal well, Steven,” Dr. Erskine bade him and started to walk away.

 

Steve sat there, conflicted.  He was torn between friends he couldn’t leave and a love he couldn’t forget.  Wouldn’t forget.

 

Erskine was just about reached the curtain.  This could be Steve’s only chance to get to Bucky.  But his friends… What if he found a way to do both?

 

Determined, he took a deep breath and coughed.  Twice.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to start releasing a chapter on Saturdays, as well as Mondays and Thursdays, from now on. I'm impatient to get this story out to you guys! Bit of a longer chapter this week. Hope you're liking it so far :D

Since Steve had tried to escape by himself and failed so many times, he was nervous about trying to get away with six other people.  But he wouldn’t leave without the family he had found in Hydra. 

 

He told Thor and Bruce in their bunkhouse the morning he was released from the infirmary.  They looked at him, speechless, when he finished.

 

“Are you sure this isn’t a trap, Steve?” Bruce asked, his voice low.

 

“Yes.  I trust Erskine.  You guys, I could tell he cared.  He wants us to get out.”

 

“I trust your judgment, Steve,” Thor said, clapping a hand on Steve’s shoulder.

 

He stood next to Natasha in the lunch line.  “I need you to not react to what I’m about to say, okay?”

 

She nodded.  

 

He told her about Erskine’s plan.  Her eyes widened, but otherwise, she kept her face emotionless.

 

“You in?” he asked.

 

She nodded once, then grabbed her food and went to the Orange section.

 

It was easy to tell Tony and Sam, as they sat with him most days anyway.  They gave him the same wide-eyed, scared-to-be-hopeful look Natasha had, but agreed to join Steve.

 

Clint was difficult to get to at the moment, because the guards were keeping him so busy these days.  Steve didn’t know what they were making him do, but they must be bringing him most of his meals, because he wasn’t in the dining hall much these days.  The only reason the others hadn’t gotten worried about him was Tony had told them Clint still slept in the Green boy bunkhouse with him. 

 

Steve had to resort to cornering Clint in the boy’s communal shower.  There were other boys in there, taking their own showers, but none of them looked twice as Steve pulled back the shower curtain and stepped in with Clint.

 

“Holy shit!” he yelped, flailing to cover himself, hitting his elbow against the tiled wall.  “Aw, elbow, ow.”

 

“Shhh!” Steve hissed, looking around to see if a guard had heard his outburst.  None came to check, so he turned back to Clint.

 

“What the hell, man?” Clint demanded, still in a ridiculous pose to not show strategic parts of his body.

 

“Sorry, but I couldn’t run into you any other way.  I know a way to get you and the rest of our friends out.  Are you in?” Steve asked, keeping it as short as possible so they wouldn’t be discovered.

 

Clint slowly unfolded from his strange position until he was standing almost at attention.  Steve could see a curiously large scar on Clint’s chest that made him wonder about Clint’s past for a moment, but he didn’t have time for that right now.  

 

“Yeah,” Clint replied, looking awestruck.  “I am so in.”

 

“Ok, so here’s what you need to do…”

 

Finally, everyone was ready.  They had a plan to get everyone into the same place.

 

All they needed to do was start a riot and all end up in the hospital.  Simple enough.

 

They decided to have the fight during supper, so everyone would be in the same place. 

 

Clint started it.  He took one of the stone-like biscuits they had been issued and lobbed it with impossible precision to hit the back of a Blue’s head on the other side of the cafeteria.  Steve didn’t have much time to be impressed, as the Blue turned, saw Clint smirking and waving from across the room, and roared before charging toward him like a bull. Tables flew, people screamed, and Steve rushed forward, blindsiding the other Blue and he flew into the air and through a wall.  

 

When Steve turned around, more people had been dragged into the fighting.  Clint was holding his own with an arsenal of biscuits, Sam was dodging most blows thrown at him with his flexibility, Thor was bellowing out a laugh as he used his food tray to hit people over the head, Bruce wasn’t green but seemed to be holding his own none the less, Tony was fending people off with a contraption made of silverware, and Natasha…. Wow.  She was a blur of red from her hair, silver from her muzzle, and gray from her uniform. She jumped into the air and kicked a Green in the face, his head snapping to the side before he fell to the ground, unconscious.

 

But the object of this fight was to end up in the hospital and one by one, his friends were knocked out.  Steve tried to make sure the most of the fight was surrounding him, so his friends would come off easy with injuries, but he was just one person and could only fight so well.

 

Finally, he saw a punch come towards his face a few moments too late and everything went black.

 

He really wasn’t surprised when he woke up in the medical ward later that night.  He was glad of it, actually. The only worry he had now was if the others had gotten in too.  He barely knew Erskine, he wasn’t sure if he trusted him, but he was willing to try anything to get his friends out and get to Bucky.

 

Dr. Erskine parted the curtains and stepped inside Steve’s cubicle.  Steve had to restrain himself from demanding right away if everyone made it.  The look on his face must have given away his question because Dr. Erskine patted his arm and smiled to comfort him.

 

Steve let out a sigh of relief, then winced.  His worry had distracted him from his injuries.  And they were numerous. He must have gotten hit a few more times after he was down, because he didn’t remember getting kicked in the ribs or someone stamping on his ankle, but the pain coming from both places give the indication that had happened.

 

“Hello again, Steven.  How do you feel today?” Dr. Erskine asked gently.

 

Steve shifted to sit up a bit and groaned slightly.  “Sore. Ribs again and my ankle too.”

 

Erskine nodded.  “Let’s take a look, then.”

 

Steve zoned out as Erskine checked his injuries.  He was trying to make this seem like any other time he was in the hospital, but it was impossible to contain his excitement at the prospect of getting out.  Every time there was a loud noise, Steve jumped. He tried to relax, but he couldn’t. All he could do was sit there and twitch occasionally in nerves.

 

“Relax, Steven.  There is still time.”

 

Steve took a deep breath and let it out in a hiss of pain.

 

Patting his shoulder, Dr. Erskine stated, “Your ribs are even more bruised than the last time we met and your ankle is badly bruised, but you should be able to walk on it still.  There will be discomfort, of course, but I think you will be able to handle a bit of pain, yes?”

 

“Yes, sir,” Steve replied, nodding.

 

“When lights-out comes, someone will be by to relieve you of this,” Erskine whispered in Steve’s ear in the pretense of checking over his face, gesturing to Steve’s tracker.  “It will alert the guards when it is disconnected, so we will have to move fast and you will be the last to be evacuated. Do you understand?”

 

Steve nodded again, determined.

 

“I will see you later, then.  I need to attend to more patients,” Dr. Erskine said with a slight smirk, and Steve felt a twinge of guilt that so many innocent people got caught up in their plan and that Erskine had to patch them up.

 

But he couldn’t make himself feel really bad because he wasn’t abandoning his family here, and they were getting  _ out _ .  He didn’t know what the others would do when they reached the outside of Hydra, but he had one goal: Bucky.  He had to find him again. Had to tell him he was so sorry for the situation Steve had put him in. Hold him.  Maybe kiss him again, if Bucky still wanted Steve to.

 

Steve really wanted to kiss Bucky again.

 

As soon as the main lights of the medical ward went out, Steve’s whole body tensed.  He didn’t hear any movement, but he hoped the others were being moved to where they would escape.  He counted to one hundred to calm his nerves. Then again. And again. He was just about to worry no one was going to come for him, that this had all been a trap, when his curtain swished to the side and there stood a tall, black man with an eye patch and scarred face.  He put his finger over his lips and raised a cable cutter in his other hand.

 

Trying not to inch away as the sharp blades approaching the vulnerable skin of his ankle, Steve made sure to stay quiet.  One quiet jerk of the cutter and Steve was free.

 

“We gotta move, kid.  This way,” the man said, gesturing for Steve to follow.

 

They tiptoed hurriedly from the room and down the hall.  Steve lost track of the route, just followed the man blindly.  When they reached a part of the hospital Steve hadn’t even known existed, with large garage doors even few feet.  One was open, and he could see a van outside waiting for him. He could see the bright red of Natasha’s hair through the tinted window.

 

“Ready, Steven?” he hears from behind him.

 

He turns to see Dr. Erskine standing there, smiling.

 

“You have no idea,” Steve replied, stepping forward to shake his hand.  “Thank you so much, Dr. Erskine.”

 

His smile widened as he shook Steve’s hand.  After he retracted it, he pointed at Steve’s heart and said, “Just remember, Steven, no matter what happens outside of this place, you are a good man.” 

 

“Yes, sir,” Steve said respectfully, stepping towards the van only to stop again.  “Sir, why did you choose me? I’m just a kid from Brooklyn.”

 

“I chose you because I read your file and saw you tried to leave here five times.  That is more than anyone else in this facility. I thought you would have a reason to want to get out so badly.”

 

Steve ducked his head in embarrassment.  “Yessir,” he mumbled to the floor.

 

His head shot up again, though, when he heard a distance door crash open.

 

“You must leave,” Erskine insisted, an urgent look on his face.

 

Steve scrambled into the van and did a quick headcount.  Everyone was there, looking back at him. Their expressions ranged from terrified to defiant as they heard footsteps echo closer and closer.

 

The scarred man started driving them away from the building, driving slow enough to not catch attention but with an urgency Steve appreciated.

 

He looked back at the hospital, wanting to get one last look before he left this place forever.  As he watched, Erskine raised a hand in farewell. Though Steve knew Erskine wouldn’t be able to see him from this distance or through the glass, he did the same.  But then Erskine looked to the side of him, inside the building, and jerked. Slowly, so slowly, he fell, a hand going to the hole his chest where blood was suddenly oozing.

 

“No!” Steve screamed, instinctively opening the door and running to get to Erskine.  He ignored the yells of his friends behind him and the sound of the guards closing in as he sprinted across the lawn.  All he was focused on was Erskine’s chest, his hand that was feebly holding itself over the bullet hole, the jerky rise and fall as he struggled to breathe.

 

It probably only took him a few seconds to Erskine’s side with his strength propelling him forward faster.  But the distance seemed to take forever to cross.

 

Steve fell to his knees next to Erskine’s body, trying to look him over to see how he could help.  Logically, he knew there was nothing he could do. Erskine had been shot in the chest. He was bleeding out faster than any measure Steve could use to try to fix him.

 

But still, he found himself saying, “You’re gonna be alright.  C’mon, we’ll bring you with us. We’ll save you too. I can’t just let you die, not now that you’re getting us out.”

 

Erskine smiled, just the corners of his mouth tilting up around the blood slowly trickling down one side.  He weakly raised the hand not pressed against his chest to point once again at Steve’s chest.

 

_ “No matter what happens outside of this place, you are a good man.” _

 

Dr. Erskine’s hand fell to the cold concrete as his eyes unfocused and the tension drained out of his body.

 

Steve sat there in shock because Erskine couldn’t be dead, not because of him.  Because of his decision to leave Hydra. Because his selfish choice to get out. He didn’t want to move, didn’t want to accept it, but the others were yelling at him from across the lawn.  Numbly, not even noticing the bullets that were pinging the metal and concrete around him, he followed the sound of their voices until he was back in the vehicle. Fury put down the accelerator and they shot towards the gates.

 

Gates that were firmly closed.

 

“C’mon, Coulson, move your ass,” the driver snarled to himself.

 

Slowly, too slowly, the gates began to creak open.  But guards were closing in and if it wasn’t wide enough by the time the van got there, they would be captured.

 

“We’re not going to make it,” Clint whispered.  He must have figured it out in his head, factoring the speed they were going, the distance, and some insane level of math Steve couldn’t comprehend, especially now.

 

They all sat there silently for a moment before Bruce spoke up.

 

“Let me out,” he said quietly.  “I’ll open the gate.”

 

“No, Bruce, they’ll kill you!” Steve protested, not willing to lose someone else so they could escape.

 

Bruce shook his head.  “Bullets don’t hurt the other guy.  I can do it.”

 

“What about the Noise?  If they turn that on, you’ll be incapacitated,” Sam pointed out as Steve tried not to think about  _ how _ Bruce knew that.

 

The man driving said, “Coulson should have shut down their ability to use the Noise before he came to open the gate.”

 

“Will you be able to know to follow us?” Tony asked Bruce.

 

At that, Natasha raised her hand.  Steve saw the determination in her eyes as she looked at him over her muzzle.

 

“Enough of this monstrosity,” Thor said and reached over to break the lock that held the muzzle on her face.

 

Natasha let out a gasp as it fell to the floor of the van and reached up to touch the skin that had indentations from where the metal had dug in.  She collected herself and looked straight at Bruce when she croaked out, her voice hoarse from disuse, “I can make you follow us, if you’ll let me.”

 

Bruce shrugged.  “Fine by me, if you can get the other guy to help.”

 

“Ok then,” Steve said, looking outside at the guards getting closer and closer.  “Give ‘em hell,” he said to Bruce. Then he opened the door.

 

“Aye aye, Captain,” Bruce snarked dryly before stepping out of the still moving van, rolling and transforming as he landed, and coming up as the Hulk.  He let out a roar, making the guards stop dead until they gathered their courage and charged again.

 

Their mistake.

 

The Hulk swiped them with one arm, making at least six guards fly through the air, screaming.  Some of the guards realized a close up approach would get them killed and opened fire, but the bullets merely bounced off the Hulk’s skin.

 

“Nat, make him open the gate more or we’re not going to get through!” Clint insisted, looking out of the front windshield, making calculations even now.

 

Natasha screwed up her face and concentrated.  Outside, the Hulk froze for a moment, his arms falling to his sides.  Then he turned and faced the gate. Bellowing, he charged towards the metal bars, which gave like rubber under his huge hands.

 

Steve hadn’t known she could nonverbally control minds.

 

“Go, go, go!” Clint yelled at the driver, who shot them forward.

 

“Move the Hulk, Romanoff!” the man ordered and Natasha must have done something, because the Hulk lumbered out of sight.

 

The van flew forward, through the twisted metal, away from the guards and Hydra.

 

The former wards all stared at one another, stunned.

 

They were free.


	6. Chapter 6

“Let me get this straight, we just busted out of Hydra and you want to go right back into a  _ different _ facility?!” Tony exclaimed in shock.

 

“I have a friend that is probably in a nearby facility.  I’m going to get him out,” Steve replied determinedly.

 

“Steve.  You know I have your back through anything, but this seems a bit extreme,” Sam said, frowning at him from the other side of the van.

 

They had been driving for two days now, sleeping against one another and leaving the vehicle only for bathroom breaks.  The driver, who gave his name as Fury, had told them he was taking them to a remote location created to protect people like them.  Somewhere called Shield. Apparently, it was a place for other teens who had been saved from facilities like Hydra or had never been taken to a facility at all.

 

“We all have people we would want to see again.  Whatever your decision, Steve, I’m with you,” Thor said, clapping him on the shoulder.  Steve was suddenly glad of his super strength, or the other boy’s would have sent him falling flat.

 

“Thank you, Thor, but you all need to go to Shield.  It’s safe there and I can’t risk you getting captured again.  Not after Erskine…” he trailed off, having difficulty continuing.  He couldn’t get the image of that last wave of farewell out of his mind or the look of surprise on Erskine’s face as he fell, already dying.  

 

He cleared his throat.  “Not after Erskine worked so hard to get us out.”

 

There was a moment of respectful silence as everyone acknowledged they wouldn’t be free without Dr. Erskine, even if it meant him sacrificing his life.

 

“Plus, it would make more sense for one Blue to be found than seven different people of various colors all together.  If I go in by myself, I’ll also have a better chance of getting out. It only makes sense!”

 

Surprisingly, it was Natasha who spoke up.  She had been mostly silent as they had traveled, seemingly not used to having the ability to talk at all.  Her voice was still hoarse when she said, “If finding this person is that important to you, you should do it.” 

 

Steve looked up at her from where he was sitting on the floor of the van, while she was perched on the armrest of the passenger seat.  They were on one of their breaks, Fury off in the woods communing with nature while they stayed in the van on the shoulder of the road.  

 

He nodded and smiled a little at her.  “He is.”

 

“Steve…  No one is worth your freedom,” Sam said quietly.

 

“Bucky is,” he said insistently.

 

He didn’t blame his friends for not understanding.  He hadn’t talked about Bucky at Hydra. It had been too painful at first because Steve had hurt and abandoned him, and then he didn’t want to mention him in case the guards overheard and used Bucky against him somehow.  It had been hard not to tell stories about Bucky once the other boys were talking about their sweethearts from before everything. When he taught a little Green how to punch correctly, it was so difficult to not boast about how Bucky was the one to teach Steve.  To not mention Bucky when Sam had finally talked to him about Riley, his “almost” from before the world changed.

 

But he hadn’t said anything, to protect Bucky from himself.

 

Now, though, he needed to explain.

 

“Before… everything, Bucky was my best friend.  His ma took me in after mine died and we were inseparable.  When I was fourteen…” Steve took a deep breath, then plunged on, “I realized I was in love with him.  I didn’t say anything because we lived together and slept in the same room and it was too weird. But Bucky musta realized anyways, cause he kissed me before we were separated.  I um… I hurt him, accidentally, the day we changed. He needed the hospital, even though we wanted to run, so I turned myself in. But I promised him I would come back for him. I  _ promised  _ him.”

 

Silence reigned until Tony said, “Well, geez, Steve, why didn’t you say  _ that _ from the beginning?”

 

Steve just shrugged, unable to speak more now that he had given away so much about himself.  Everyone stared at him for a bit, then seemed to shake themselves out of their stupor when Fury came back to the driver’s side window.

 

“Alright, I just got off the phone with one of my contacts at Shield.  Given where we are, she said we should arrive in about four more days, cause we have to keep you kids out of sight.  Everyone ready to head out again?”

 

They exchanged glances before Steve asked, “Could your contact locate someone in a facility?  Not Hydra, but a different one?”

 

“Yes…” Fury replied slowly, a look of suspicion crossing his face.

 

“Good,” Thor said heartily.  “We must search for Steve’s lost boyfriend.”

 

“He’s not my boyfriend…” Steve protested.

 

Clint rolled his eyes.  “Whatever, dude. From what little you’ve said of him, he loves you too.  What’s his full name?”   
  


“James Buchanan Barnes.  He’s from Brooklyn, too. His ma is named Winifred and his dad was named George, but he died two years ago.  His sister would be about a three years old now, her name is Rebecca. We all lived in Brooklyn together. Um, he won the county spelling bee in third grade.  That enough to go on?” Steve asked Fury anxiously.

 

Fury nodded.  “I think I can work with that.  Hang out here for a bit longer, okay?”  He closed his door again and went back under the cover of the trees.

 

“My brother was an Orange,” Thor confessed quietly.  “He tricked the authorities who came for us to not notice him.  He laughed as I was put in chains and dragged away. But if I were to see him today, I would forgive him in a heartbeat.  So I understand how you would want to see your Bucky again.”

 

Clint scoffed from the passenger seat.  “I get why Steve would wanna see his boyfriend-”

 

“Not my boyfriend,” Steve muttered, but Clint continued without even rolling his eyes in acknowledgment of Steve’s words.

 

“But your brother?  He betrayed you. How could you forgive someone like that?” Clint demanded, his voice rising as he seemed to get more agitated.

 

“Because he is my brother and I will love him no matter what,” Thor answered readily, though he looked down at his hands as if he was ashamed of it.

 

“He left you to die.  He had no idea what would happen to you after what he did and just walked away.  No brother could do that,” Clint said vehemently, rubbing his chest where Steve knew the large scar was.

 

_ Oh, no.  Clint… _ Steve thought sadly.

 

“He’s adopted,” Thor said under his breath.

 

It was quiet in the van for a moment.  Then Clint let out a laugh. Natasha snickered.  Suddenly all of them were overcome with laughter for the first time in over a year.  Steve couldn’t remember the last time his stomach had hurt from laughing. Usually, it was because the Noise had affected him so badly he had thrown up.  But this, this was pure euphoria, to the point of hysterics.

 

They were all wheezing when Fury opened the door again.  He merely raised an eyebrow and climbed in. Clint climbed out of the passenger seat, as they couldn’t have any of them in the front in of the van case someone looked in as they were driving past and saw them.  

 

Steve sat forward eagerly.  “Did you find him?”

 

“I did,” Fury confirmed, buckling himself in.  The rest followed suit, but Steve paused, not sure of Fury’s tone.

 

“And…?” he asked hesitantly.

 

“You didn’t tell me he was a Red.  I’m sorry, but there’s nothing we can do,” Fury said, starting the car and pulling off the shoulder.

 

“A Red?  What the hell is a Red?” Tony asked, confused.

 

They hadn’t ever heard of the classification of Red before.  There weren’t any at Hydra. Steve was reeling from the words “Nothing we can do” and didn’t even notice when Bruce pulled him back into his seat and Natasha buckled him in like he was a child.

 

“Red’s are the most dangerous classification.  So much so that all of them are rounded up and there’s a specific facility just for them, called the Red Room.  Unimaginative, maybe, but true. Reds, in essence, are killers. They are hypervigilant and that ability can easily be used as a weapon.  According to my contact, your boy Bucky has a certain proclivity for long-range weapons. He’s a sniper now, Steve. Takes out people who misbehave at the camp and sometimes is rented out for other jobs.  You wouldn’t even be allowed on the base. Even if you did, you’d be killed before you could find Barnes. I’m sorry.”

 

_ Sniper.  Rented out.  Red. _  The words echoed in Steve’s head and he was overwhelmed with a wave of guilt.  This was all his fault. He turned them in. He made that decision. Bucky hadn’t wanted him to, had begged for him to keep running, and he hadn’t listened.

 

And now the Bucky he had grown up with was an assassin.  Because of him.

 

“It’s not your fault, Steve,” Natasha said softly.

 

Steve didn’t acknowledge her words until she added.  “If anything, it’s mine.”

 

Fury pulled over to the side of the road again so he could turn to look at her.  “What do you mean by that, Natasha?”

 

She twisted her fingers together and didn’t look at any of them.  “When I was gone those couple of day, they took me to the Red Room.  There was a group of Oranges waiting. We were to convince,” she winced at the word, “the Reds to do what their superiors wanted them to do.  So we did. And then I was brought back.”

 

“Do you mean to tell me they are using Oranges to brainwash Reds into becoming killers?  That they wouldn’t be out killing people without coercion?” Fury demanded

 

Natasha nodded sadly, then raised her hand to look at Steve.  “I’m sorry, Steve. I didn’t know about Bucky.”

 

Steve shook his head and put a hand on her shoulder.  “You couldn’t have known. Even if you did, they probably would have killed you if you had refused.  I don’t blame you, ok?  _ I don’t blame you _ .”

 

Natasha let out a shuddering breath and nodded.  From the row behind them, Sam patted her back and Clint turned around in the row in front of them to murmur reassurances to her.

 

“Well, what are we going to do now?” Tony said, turning to Fury.

 

“Keep going until we get to Shield.  Once we get there, we’ll train you guys so you can control your powers better.  Then we’ll keep you safe until things get better.”

 

“What about Bucky?” Steve choked out, trying not to show how upset he was, but it only made his throat close up all the more.

 

“I’m sorry, Rogers.  There really isn’t anything we can do.  Your friend is as good as dead.”


	7. Chapter 7

The next few days went by in a blur.  Steve went through the motions: eating, using the cover of the woods to go to the bathroom, talking a bit with the others.  But his brain was still stuck on the sentence “Your friend is as good as dead,” and it couldn’t move away.

 

Bucky wasn’t dead.  He couldn’t be dead.  He would still be there, under the killer the government had made him.  He would know Steve, Steve  _ knew _ it.  He wouldn’t kill Steve.

 

In one of his lower moments, Steve realized he was kidding himself.  Steve had hurt Bucky when he had first gotten his powers. Unintentionally, yes, but he had done it.  And that was when he was in full control of his actions. Bucky was being brainwashed into killing people.  If someone told him to kill Steve, he would do so, whether he recognized him or not. 

 

Steve wanted to save Bucky from the Red Room, but how would he save Bucky from himself?

 

He could tell the others were worried about him, and he tried to act as normal as possible while the word, “Dead,” echoed around in his skull.  Natasha felt terrible for her part in Bucky’s situation, he knew, so he tried to save small smiles for her. Sam was subtle in his concern, casting worried glances Steve’s way and nudging him on the shoulder when he got too far gone into his head.  Thor clapped him on the shoulder when they crossed paths going into the woods, but Steve could tell the concern behind the gesture. It also told him that Thor had his back, no matter what, which he appreciated. Bruce mostly kept to himself, but occasionally they would snark back and forth in their own tired way.  Clint would blurt out random facts about what the speed they were going, how far they were from certain large cities all over the United States, and where they would be in a few hours which, to Steve, showed he cared. 

 

And Tony… well.  Two days after Fury had told them about Bucky, Tony came up to Steve and handed him a small, circular disk.  Looking closer, Steve saw it was a tobacco tin.

 

“Thanks?” he said, not knowing what else to say.

 

“Press the button on the side,” Tony instructed.

 

Steve did so after fumbling for a moment to find it.  From the little machine erupted a hologram. Of… Bucky?

 

“Tony…” Steve whispered, feeling like he had been punched by a Blue in the solar plexus.  “How?”

 

Tony shrugged before saying, “Bit of this, a bit of that, if a couple electronics lost a few parts along the way, oh well.  It’s self-sustaining so you don’t have to worry about batteries or anything. He’ll be with you as long as you want him to be.”

 

“Thank you, Tony.  I can’t believe…” Steve trailed off, mesmerized with the image of Bucky floating in front of him.  It was from right before they had changed. His brown hair was flipped to the side just right. His eyes were sparkling as he smiled at the person taking the picture, making his nose crinkle just that little bit that was totally adorable.  Steve found himself smiling back at Bucky, unable to help himself against the joy that radiated off of the image.

 

He didn’t know how Tony had found this picture, but he would fight anyone, even the Hulk, to keep it.

 

“Yeah, well, it wasn’t much effort.  Just a few - oomph!” Tony was cut off as Steve pulled him into a tight hug, mindful of his strength.

 

“Seriously, Tony, thank you.”

 

“Yeah, well, it’s what I do,” Tony muttered awkwardly, detangling himself from Steve’s embrace as soon as possible, not looking at him.

 

“Come on boys, I want to make another state line before we crash for the night,” Fury called from the treeline before walking back to the van.

 

Tony took the opportunity to scramble back to the van, away from Steve’s gratitude.  Steve, though, took another moment to stare at the hologram, to memorize every part of Bucky’s face and expression.  Only after he felt the ache in his chest ease a bit did he hit the button that banished the image and walk out of the woods and toward his friends.

 

“Hey guys,” he said when he reached them.  “I’d like you to meet a friend of mine.” He activated the hologram.  “This is Bucky Barnes.”

 

Clint let out a whistle.  “Well, I can see why you fell for him.  Your boy is a looker.”

 

Sam nodded next to him, as did Thor and Bruce.  Tony had already seen him, so gave a noncommittal shrug instead.  Natasha looked at the projection like she was seeing a ghost.

 

“Nat?  You okay?” Clint asked concernedly.

 

“He was one of them,” she whispered out of nonmoving lips.  “He was one of the Reds I brainwashed.”

 

The jovial atmosphere disappeared.  There was no doubt now for Steve where Bucky was and what he was going through.   _ His fault… all his fault. _

 

He felt part of himself go numb.  A part of him had lost all feeling now.  He would have to ignore the emptiness, that ache, in order to continue on.  

 

Steve would be numb for a very long time.


	8. Chapter 8

Shield wasn’t what Steve expected.  When Fury had said “camp,” he had pictured something similar to what Hydra had been.  Gates, guards, and buildings. But it wasn’t. 

 

They had been driving on a regular highway, albeit a little out of the way of regular civilization, when Fury had taken a sharp left onto a dirt road.  Most of the former Hydra wards had been dozing and were jerked awake at the sudden change of direction.

 

Fury kept them on the road until it wasn’t even a road anymore, just two furrows going through the trees.  Little light made it through the dense overhanging branches, and Steve had a hard time seeing anything in front of them.

 

Suddenly, the trees vanished and they were blinded by sunlight.  Blinking furiously, Steve began to be able to make out their surroundings.

 

His first impression was chaos.  There were kids everywhere, ranging in ages.  Some adults were spread amongst them, seeming to supervise.  There were a few buildings, but not at all like Hydra’s. There were wooden cabins and a structure that had no walls, just a roof and support beams.  It didn’t even seem to be in the middle of construction, like the lack of protection from the elements was on purpose.

 

As they slowly drove through the crowd of people on the lawn in between the buildings, the kids and teens peered curiously into the van’s windows.  They gave up after a few attempts but followed the van until Fury parked them in front of one of the buildings.

 

“Welcome to Shield, guys,” Fury said, opening his door and stepping out.  The rest of them followed cautiously, crowding against each other for protection from the kids peering at them from all sides.

 

“Everyone, give them some space.  You remember what it was like to get here.  You’ll meet them later anyway. Back to your training,” Fury instructed to some groans as the crowd melted away.

 

“Potts!” Fury barked, and a tall teen with strawberry blonde hair appeared at his side.

 

“Yessir?” she asked innocently, smirking when he jumped slightly.  

 

“Can you show them around?  I need to check in with Coulson and tell him the definition of ‘as soon as possible.’  He seems to need reminding.”

 

“Of course.  Right this way, everyone,” she said to the group at large.

 

They followed her in a pack, still unsure of their surroundings and the people that inhabited them.  Steve saw Clint sneak his hand into Natasha’s and felt Sam bump his shoulder against his. Thor was scanning around them warily, while Bruce seemed to be doing breathing exercises.  Steve hoped their new environment with so many people wasn’t riling the big guy. Tony was apparently utterly enraptured with their guide.

 

“My name is Tony.  As in, Tony Stark. What’s yours?” he asked, striding a little faster to be able to keep up with the red head’s no-nonsense pace.

 

Giving him a thoroughly unimpressed look, she replied professionally, “Pepper Potts.  I’m one of Director Fury’s assistants.”

 

Tony started to ramble about how that was  _ so cool _ and how Fury was  _ so lucky _ and the whole time, Pepper’s expression didn’t change.

 

“Aren’t you a little young for that?” Bruce asked after a breath in.  His curiosity seemed to be shared with most of the others.

 

Pepper shrugged, ignoring Tony to answer Bruce.  “What other choice does he have? There aren’t many adults in camp and those that are, are here for other reasons than to work in an office.  Besides, my abilities help Fury out so much, he would be an idiot to not choose me. And say what you will about Fury, he isn’t an idiot.”

 

“What color are you?” Tony asked, his interest obvious, but trying to play it off with forced nonchalance.  He fooled exactly no one.

 

Pepper stopped abruptly and turned to them.  “I understand that in your camp, you were divided by what your abilities were and what you could do.  This is not Hydra. This is Shield. Here you are only divided if you choose to keep the mindset that was forced on you.  You aren’t different and wrong. Yes, there is a hierarchy here of age and duration of stay, but we don’t put emphasis on color here.  That is just part of who we are.”

 

She turned and took a few steps before realizing everyone was still where she had left them, frozen in shock.  For the past year, the only part of them that had mattered was what their classification was and what they could do with it.  To be able to become more than that… it seemed impossible.

 

Pepper sighed.  “That all being said, I’m a Red.  We do use the same classification system because it's what everyone knows, but we also try to move beyond it and find out about the actual person.  So try to not ask that the first time you meet someone ok? If they want to, they’ll tell you. But it’s usually easy to figure out anyways.” 

 

She smirked again and tapped her head.  “Or maybe that’s just me.”

 

Steve remembered what Fury had said about how Reds were supposed to be, before the Red Room had used Oranges to corrupt them into killers.  They had hypervigilance. No wonder Fury would want Pepper as an assistant, she probably noticed everything about the camp, every person and event and then used that information to help move the camp along and help the people within it.

 

He huffed out a laugh and she smiled at him.

 

“At least someone got my Red joke,” she said before starting to walk again.

 

“I got it,” Clint muttered resentfully to Natasha as they trailed behind Pepper.  Natasha rolled her eyes but nodded to him.

 

“Alright, so the wooden building you see on your right with no walls is the dining hall.  Food is available when you are on your breaks and meals are anytime between 8 and 10 am, 1 and 3 pm, and 5 and 7 pm, so go at your leisure.  Most training happens out in the open, so we don’t usually have specific buildings assigned for different powers.”

 

Tony raised his hand.  “You have a mechanic shop?”

 

Pepper smirked.  “We’ve got better than that.  Be patient, I’ll show you everything eventually.”

 

“Now, I should say that discipline here is different than at Hydra, but it still needs to exist.  We never use the Noise, we believe it’s inhumane. Instead, we have a preset list of punishments for discretions and are strict about enforcing them so as to maintain order.  Over here is the isolation quarters, for when people need to be put in confinement so as to not be a danger to themselves or people around them. We never, ever refuse to give the wrongdoers food and water, though.  That is  _ not _ part of our policy.  You are here to learn to control your powers and be safe, and being fed is part of being safe.  Do you understand?” Pepper demanded, looking at them, especially Steve. She must have picked up on his discomfort when she mentioned confinement.  He was the one of the group that spent the most time without food in a closed up box.

 

They nodded, even Steve.

 

As they walked past one of the rooms, one of the doors swung open and a lanky, dark-haired man was led outside.

 

Thor froze.  Bruce bumped into Thor.  Sam maneuvered his way out of the collision, but Tony wasn’t so lucky.  Clint and Natasha stopped in time, and Steve paused just shy of their backs.

 

“Brother!  Loki!” Thor cried, rushing forward as the teen turned towards the noise.

 

They all froze, Thor stopping in his tracks in shock.

 

The dark haired boy was wearing a muzzle.  It was a different design than those at Hydra, but a muzzle nonetheless.

 

“I think you have a bit more explaining to do, Miss Potts,” Steve said tensely, putting a hand on Natasha’s too tight shoulder. 

 

Maybe Shield was more like Hydra than they had thought.


	9. Chapter 9

Everyone but Thor closed in around Natasha, protecting her from the sight of the metal surrounding Loki’s face.  Natasha’s face was white, her hands held in fists, her breathing fast. Steve could feel the slight quake of her body as she shook where she stood.

 

“What is this?”  Thor demanded, glaring at Pepper.  “You said you weren’t like Hydra.”

 

Pepper’s back tightened so much she looked like a statue.  Steve could only imagine the amount of information she was having to process right now with all the tension in the air.  She probably could sense Natasha’s distress, Thor’s rage, the others’ protectiveness, and so many other things Steve couldn’t even comprehend knowing.  And all the while, she kept up a professional facade and didn’t let her discomfort show on her face.

 

If he wasn’t so on edge by the situation himself, Steve would have felt immense respect for her.

 

“Loki is a special circumstance.  Usually, there is no need for vocal restraints.  But he tries to stretch the rules and manipulate the minds of those around him to his benefit.  He and other Oranges who use their powers to make people do things they don’t want to are punished.  The muzzles usually aren’t used, unless the crime deserves it. Sedatives are sometimes implemented so they can’t get within other people’s minds nonverbally as well.”

 

“What did he do?” Thor asked quietly, taking his eyes off his brother to look at Pepper.

 

“He made one of the campers hallucinate her father.  Seeing as he was killed by Red Room agents in front of her, she found it traumatic.”

 

Thor turned to stare at the other boy in horror.  

 

All the while, Loki had just stood there, not trying to get away from the talk or the stares.  He almost seemed to revel in the attention. His dark hair was shoulder length and straggly. His cheekbones were high and his nose long.

 

Steve already didn’t like him.  His attitude reminded him of too many of the bullies he and Bucky had fought.  Loki had a cruelty behind his eyes that made Steve want to stand in front of his friends, protect them.  He wanted to grab Thor’s hand and pull him back into the group. He wanted to get away from the green eyes that were suddenly assessing him.

 

Lifting his chin, he pictured a solid brick wall in his mind as he glared back, blocking his thoughts from Loki’s powers.  He didn’t know if it worked, but the thought of Loki being able to poke into his brain made him want to twitch.

 

“Shall we continue the tour?” Pepper asked, already starting to walk past where Loki stood like he wasn’t worth her time.  The others followed, Thor the last to move.

 

As they passed, Loki locked eyes with Natasha.  She had been staring at him, at the muzzle, the whole time in tense silence.  But when their eyes met, Loki’s narrowed, Natasha’s widened, and the next moment, Loki was writhing on the ground.

 

“Stop!  You’re hurting him!” Thor cried, rushing forward to hold his brother down, so he wouldn’t accidentally injure himself.

 

Natasha glared down at Loki’s quivering form.  “You aren’t welcome in my mind. Don’t try to get into it again.”

 

Steve looked over to Pepper, surprised she hadn’t stepped in to stop Natasha.  But she was hanging back, watching what was happening. There was probably a reason, but right now Steve just wanted to get Natasha as far away from Loki’s mind control as possible.

 

Clint seemed to have the same idea.  He slowly reached out to touch Natasha’s elbow, making sure she saw the movement before his hand made contact.

 

But the movement caught Loki’s attention as well, even as he twitched on the ground.

 

Natasha barely had time to gasp before Clint had her in an arm lock and was kneeing her in the side.  She twisted away from him, trying to break free, but Clint continued to raise his knee again and again.  Sam and Steve sprang forward, Sam pulling Clint away as Steve scooped Natasha into his arms.

 

Clint continued to struggle in Sam’s grip until he suddenly slumped.  Steve looked over Natasha’s head and saw that Loki was unconscious on the ground below Thor.  He must have knocked Loki out to stop him from invading Clint’s mind. His hand flexed then formed a fist, over and over, his face full of anguish.

 

Setting Natasha gently on the grass, Steve tried to assess the damage Loki had made Clint inflict.  Natasha was breathing shallowly and her face was pale. She was curled around her ribs on her left side, and when Steve slowly lifted her shirt, the skin there was already darkening with a bruise.

 

Someone was kneeling next to him, but he was too busy trying to control the rage inside of him to see who it was.

 

“...Nothing broken.  I didn’t hear any cracks,” he heard Pepper say to someone as the red began to bleed out of his vision.

 

Taking a deep breath, he looked away from the mottling skin to see Bruce, his eyes a telltale green color, and Pepper kneeling on the other side of Natasha’s body.  Sam was trying to wake Clint while Thor stood over Loki, making sure he could do no more harm.

 

...Where was Tony?

 

As soon as Steve thought of him, Tony appeared at his side.  His hands were moving rapidly, twisting metal and connecting wires with some sort of contraption.  Plugging in one more wire, he hovered the machine over Natasha’s ribs.

 

“Pepper’s right.  No broken bones, just a few cracks and a whole lot of bruising.  Got the wind knocked out of her, but her lungs should be ok in a few days.  Gonna suck to breathe for a while, though,” he told Natasha, who nodded.

 

Tony got up and went over the Clint, waving the machine over his head.  They all watched breathlessly, all hoping there was no lasting damage from those few moments of control.

 

“He’s just unconscious.  The sudden snap back to being in control made his mind shut down to reboot.  He’ll be fine in a few minutes, at least physically. Don’t think having that ass crawl into your mind would be much of a party,” Tony concluded, glowering down at Loki’s prone form.

 

Pepper sighed in relief.  “We’ll put Loki back in solitary for a few days.  You can visit him if you want,” she said to Thor, probably noticing him tense at the thought of Loki being locked up again.

He nodded in thanks.

 

“Can you move?” Pepper asked Natasha, but she already was.  Slowly, her face set in a grimace, she began to drag herself to Clint.  Steve and the others tried to help, but she waved them off and continued to pull herself along until she was lying next to him.

 

“Please wake up,” she wheezed, reaching out and touching his arm gently.

 

Immediately, he stirred.  Sam put a steadying hand on Clint’s shoulder as he blinked groggily.  Steve could tell the moment he remembered what happened because his eyes widened and he shot up into a sitting position.

 

“Tasha!” he yelled, frantically looking around, not seeing her next to him in his panic.

 

“Here, Clint,” she said quietly, trying to keep the pain out of her voice even as she clutched her ribs and continued to take short, labored breaths.

 

Clint looked down and saw her curled up below him.  His face clouded in fury and he turned to where Loki lay unconscious.

 

“You bastard!  I’ll kill you!” he shouted, scrambling to his feet and throwing himself at Loki.

 

Before he could land a punch, though, a set of arms wrapped around him and held him back.  Clint struggled against the newcomer, but his grip held firm. 

 

“That’s enough,” the man said mildly, unruffled by the flailing boy in his arms.

 

“No, it’s not!  He made me hurt Tasha!  He made me… I couldn’t… Let me go!” Clint screamed, trying to break the man’s hold.

 

“Loki will be punished for his actions.  You need to stand down.”

 

“Like hell,” Clint snarled, trying to reach Loki with his feet, kicking out but falling just short of Loki’s form.

 

Steve was interested to see that Thor did nothing to stop Clint.  He hovered over Loki looking conflicted. His eyes darted between his brother, Clint, the man holding Clint, and Natasha, who still had a pained expression on her face though her body had relaxed some from its formerly tucked in position. 

 

“Look at me, Clint,” Natasha commanded, though she didn’t use her power.

 

He did so, breathing heavily.  As soon as he met her gaze, he slumped into the man’s chest.  The fight left his gaze and he let out a shuddering breath.

 

“Let me go,” he said again quietly.

 

This time, the man did.  Clint sank to his knees on the grass next to Natasha, his eyes focused on her mottled ribcage.

 

“This wasn’t your fault.  Loki manipulated you. You didn’t know what you were doing,” Natasha consoled, reaching out a hand to touch his arm.

 

He pulled away.   Her fingers never made contact.

 

“Shoulda fought back,” he croaked, voice not working around the tears Steve suddenly saw in his eyes.

 

“You couldn’t have,” Pepper said bracingly from the background.  “Even Fury can’t resist Loki’s mind control. He has the strongest will amongst us, and he was powerless against Loki once too.  You couldn’t have stopped him.”

 

Clint shook his head, rejecting her words.  “No better than Barney,” he whispered, his fingers floating across the scar on his chest.

 

Steve crouched next to Clint and put a hand on his shoulder.  He waited until Clint looked at him and held his gaze as he said, “Whatever Barney did to you was his choice.  What you did to Natasha wasn’t yours. You are not like him. You are not him.”

 

Letting out a shuddering breath, Clint closed his eyes and hung his head.  For a few moments, he just breathed. Then he straightened, nodded to Steve, and turned to Natasha.

 

“I’m still sorry,” he said quietly.

 

Natasha’s mouth quirked into a smile.  “Sorry enough to help me up?”

 

“I suppose,” he replied, grabbing her under her arms and slowly raising her to her feet.  Natasha didn’t let her pain show, other than the tight clench of her jaw.

 

“You alright?” Sam asked.

 

She blew out a gust of breath but nodded.

 

“Do you need to see the nurse?” the man who had stopped Clint asked.

 

“No,” she said vehemently.

 

“Who are you?” Tony demanded, looking over at the man in distrust.

 

“Didn’t really have the opportunity to introduce myself before,” the man said dryly.  

 

“I’m Phil Coulson.”


	10. Chapter 10

Steve settled into camp with an almost eerie sense of ease.  Shield, for all Pepper had said, was similar to Hydra in a number of ways.  It was more laid back, there wasn’t a schedule people had to stick to, but the basics were the same.  He got up at the same time every day, eight o’clock, because his body wouldn’t let him sleep in. He would go to the dining hall, the large open building he had seen the first day.  Food was served for long periods of time, not just at specific times, and Steve had even been able to take seconds when he wanted. 

 

Phil Coulson trained Steve how to fight, along with most of his friends.  It was hard work, but Steve loved it. The burn of his muscles when he collapsed into bed at night filled him with a sense of accomplishment, like he had done something worthwhile that day.

 

His friends were still worried about him, that he would go off and try to take a solo mission to save Bucky.  But Steve had realized after the first day of training with Coulson that he wasn’t physically prepared to storm the Red Room.

 

So he trained and trained.  He sparred with other Blues, sometimes fighting Thor and other times people who had already been at camp.  If he wanted a challenge, he would branch out to some of the Purples who used their flexibility during combat, or Natasha, who thrived under Coulson’s tutelage.  Sometimes he would fight all of them at once.

 

Steve didn’t just train his body, though.  He trained with Natasha to try to block her out of his mind, so he couldn’t be controlled.  While he didn’t have that level of skill yet, he could hide some of his thoughts from her so she couldn’t read them.

 

Natasha herself was training to gain more skill with her mind control.  Most of the group had been shocked and horrified when she told them the person who was going be training her would be Loki.

 

“He’s the best Orange in Shield,” she had explained, looking resigned.

 

“So what?!” Clint exclaimed.  “There are probably Oranges that are almost as good that haven’t made you have bruises all across your ribs!”

 

“Half my ribs,” she had corrected, giving him a look for his exaggeration.

 

“I don’t like it either,” Tony interjected.

 

Clint gestured emphatically at Tony as if his protest was all the proof Natasha should need.  She rolled her eyes.

 

“How do you know he won’t use your mind to hurt you or people around you?” Sam asked, looking at her in concern.

 

She shrugged.  “I don’t. I just need to learn how to block him out.  I need to become stronger than him. Then  _ he’ll _ have to be careful around  _ me _ .”

 

“So you wish to learn so you can control him?” Thor asked, scowling.  Steve got the feeling that though Thor hadn’t approved of what Loki had done to Clint and Natasha, Loki was still his brother and Thor felt he had to look out for him.

 

Natasha shook her head, her red curls swinging.  “I want to learn so I can protect myself and all of you against people like him.  If that means controlling him, so be it. I won’t let any of you be controlled against your will,” she had added, not looking at Clint so pointedly that there was no mistake of who she was actually talking to, “Not again.”

 

The training sessions with Natasha were almost as exhausting as the fighting ones with Phil.  It left him with a different kind of ache. She dug around in his head and memories he had kept buried for a year got dragged to the surface.  Even when she brought out good memories, they still hurt. There were so many with Bucky.

 

On a particularly grueling day, Natasha discovered the memory of the day he realized he was in love with Bucky.  Not just the little kid, unconditional kind. The  _ with you til the end of the line _ kind he felt to this day.

 

Snow had been piling up on the window frame as Steve struggled to breathe.  His wheezing reverberated around the room in the quiet caused by the snow outside.  His mom had been working a double at the hospital, but she should have been home by now.  

 

_ The snow musta trapped her at work,  _ Steve thought hazily as another coughing fit wracked through him.  His stomach muscles ached with the constant contracting, his throat was raw with the abuse it had gone through the past two days.  Sarah had been reluctant to leave Steve alone, but they needed the money. Bucky hadn’t been by because of school. Now he probably wouldn't because of the snow.

 

Steve felt like someone was sitting on his chest.  Probably a four hundred pound sumo wrestler. When he wasn’t trying to rid his lungs of the phlegm that was coating them, he was trying to dislodge the weight that made it impossible to take a full breath.

 

His vision was starting to get hazy.  Black specks were floating around the room, blocking the pictures on his dresser of his family before his dad died and of him and Bucky from when they were eight.  

 

Trying to reach for his inhaler, he found he couldn’t lift his arm.

 

As the blackness consumed his vision, his last thought was the realization he was dying and no one was going to be able to save him.

 

“-c’mon, open your eyes, you punk.  Breathe, Stevie, c’mon!” he heard someone shouting and felt someone pound on his back repeatedly.

 

He coughed, dislodging the phlegm that had been clogging his throat.  He sat up and leaned over the bed to throw it up into the waste bin. Still coughing, he collapsed back onto his pillows, Bucky thrusting his inhaler into his hands.  Once he had taken one puff, waited, and then another, and his breathing had regulated a little bit, he looked up at where Bucky stood.

 

Bucky was a mess.  He was still wearing his outdoor coat, his scarf had half fallen off his neck, and his hair was tousled from the hat that was now on the floor across the room, as if he had thrown it away as he rushed to Steve.  He was breathing as hard as Steve had been, his eyes wide and wet.

 

“You punk.  Don’t you ever do that to me again.  You almost died, if I hadn’t gotten here… you woulda… you coulda…”

 

“I’m fine, Buck,” Steve mumbled, looking down at his hands.

 

“Well, you weren’t!   _ You weren’t breathing, Stevie _ .  Do you comprehend what that means or does it not process through all the stupid banging around in your head?”

 

“Lack of oxygen didn’t impair my brain, Buck.  I understand what was gonna happen to me,” he retorted irritably, but then slumped.  There was a moment of awkward silence before Steve said, “Thank you, Bucky. I wouldn’t want my ma to come home to my dead body.  You saved her from that. And you saved me.”

 

Now it was Bucky’s turn to crumple.  He sat down heavily on the bed and took Steve’s hand.

 

“Next time you're this sick, I’m skipping school to look after ya.  No arguing. Class was boring today anyway without’cha. You wouldn’t want to make me go through that til I graduate, would ya?”

 

“I can get through a bout of sickness on my own, Buck.”

 

Bucky rolled his eyes, clearly not believing what Steve was saying.  Seeing as he had come into the house to see Steve turning blue in the face, Steve couldn’t really blame him.  “Yeah, but you don’t have to.”

 

He put his hand over Steve’s.  “I’m with you til the end of the line, ok?  You can’t die on me now.” 

 

Steve looked at Bucky and couldn’t stop staring.  His dark brown hair was falling into his face, his eyes troubled as he looked over his sick friend.  He had started his growth spurt, unlike Steve, and had gained some muscles to go with his new height.  As Bucky fussed around the apartment, hanging up his coat and getting Steve some water, Steve came to the startling realization he was in love with his best friend.

 

“Here,” Bucky said, handing over the cup of water.

 

Steve took it without really thinking about it.  When had this started? When had he started feeling this way?

 

_ “You ok?” _

 

_ Steve sniffled, wiping the blood off his face.  “Course. I had ‘im on the ropes.” _

 

_ Bucky smiled around the gaps where his baby teeth had fallen out and held out a hand to help Steve up.  “I believe ya.” _

 

_ Once he heaved Steve up, though it wasn’t so difficult because the other boy was so small, Bucky kept Steve’s hand in his.  “I’m Bucky,” he said, shaking it like he had seen his dad do. _

 

_ “Steve,” he replied around the blood running down his throat. _

 

_ Bucky smiled and let go of Steve’s hand.  His knuckles were bruised from punching Timmy in the jaw to make him leave Steve alone. _

 

_ “C’mon, Steve, let’s go see the nurse about your nose.” _

 

Had it really been that long?

 

“Steve?” Natasha said, breaking him out of the memory.  “You okay?”

 

Steve snapped out of the past and looked around.  They were at Shield, in a training room. With powers.  Without Bucky.

 

His eyes were wet, but he ducked his head so Natasha couldn’t see.  “Can we be done for the day?” he asked quietly, feeling like he was ninety years old, not seventeen.

 

“Of course, Steve,” Natasha replied kindly.

 

He didn’t look at her as he left the room.  All he wanted to do was collapse in bed, but recently he had been dreaming more and more about Bucky: how he used to be, what he might be going through now.

 

So instead, he went and hit one of the punching bags in the gym until the echoes of Bucky’s voice were drowned out by the sounds of the blows.


	11. Chapter 11

“You mean we get to leave camp?” Tony said, looking at Fury like he didn’t believe what he’d heard.

 

“You have been complaining about the lack of parts for long enough, I think.  If you want them, go get them. Coulson will accompany you. You won’t be able to go into stores and such yourself, so you’ll need him to be with you for that.  As well as added security. Bring some others as well,” Fury said before he walked off.

 

“Awesome, I’ve had this idea of a new defense for Shield and some weapons.  This is going to be awesome,” Tony said, before he turned to Steve. “You in?”

 

Steve smiled at him.  “I could use some fresh air.”

 

“Me too,” Natasha said, leaving no room to argue in her tone, not that either of them were going to.

 

They left at dawn, when barely anyone in the camp was stirring.  The sun was barely peeking up above the trees surrounding the camp as they loaded into a similar van as the one they came in.  

 

From their friend group, only Clint was there to send them off, along with Pepper and Fury.  While Tony made a fool of himself around Pepper, Clint merely stood next to Natasha in support.  Steve had noticed that they had become closer since coming to camp, especially since Loki had controlled Clint.  He felt a slight ache in his chest when their hands brushed against each other as they stood there, wishing more than ever that he could see Bucky again.  He wanted to touch him, hug him, maybe even kiss him. But most of all, he wanted to apologize to him. If it hadn’t been for Steve, Bucky wouldn’t be in the Red Room, wouldn’t be an assassin for whoever rented him out.  

 

“Be safe out there,” Fury said – well –  _ ordered _ , as they climbed into the van.  All the teens got into the back seats, so they could be out of sight.

 

Coulson drove them back into civilization, though Steve slept through most of the trip.  He woke when the car stopped, to the sudden silence of the engine turning off.

 

“Hang tight, guys,” Coulson said, sliding out of his seat.  “Stay out of sight.”

 

It took over an hour for him to return.  It was almost surreal to see a shopping cart again.  The last time Steve had been around one was over a year ago, with Becca in the child’s seat, Bucky beside him as they bought groceries.

 

“Find everything?” Tony asked eagerly as Coulson got back into the vehicle.

 

“Yup,” he replied.  “Had trouble with a few things, but got them in the end.”

 

“Good!  To the dump!” Tony exclaimed, excited to be outside and actually doing something.

 

It felt good to be doing something,  _ anything _ , useful.  Since he had woken up with super strength, all Steve wanted to do with it was something right.  And now he had the opportunity, however small, to do so.

 

They didn’t get very far though before they were stopping again.

 

“What’s wrong?” Steve asked.

 

“Traffic.  There must have been an accident or something.  Stay down,” Coulson ordered as they crept forward to see what was happening.

 

“What’s that noise?” Tony asked suddenly.

 

Natasha gasped, her eyes unfocused.  Steve could tell she was hearing someone else’s mind.  He’d seen that look on her face enough during training to recognize it.

 

“They’re protesting,” she said, stunned.

 

“Bring back our babies!  Bring back our babies!” 

 

Steve heard the chanting get closer and closer and as it did, Steve saw hundreds of people cross the street ahead of them.  The group in front carried a banner with the same words they chanted emblazoned on it, while others carried signs that said “Where is my child?”, “Stop rounding up our children!”, and the rather heartbreaking one “I want to hold my baby again.”

 

They sat in stunned silence as the crowd continued to pass in front of them in droves, never seeming to end.  Steve’s eyes felt wet. To be honest, he had never really thought about what it was like for the families who gave up their kids for testing, leaving them to fend for themselves in camps like Hydra.  He still felt the ache in his chest if he thought about Winifred’s reaction to the manifestation of their powers. Steve understood her reasoning, wanting to protect Becca, because he did too, especially from himself.  He had failed to protect Bucky from his powers and that’s what had gotten them into this whole situation in the first place.

 

But what about the families who had their kids forcibly taken from them?  What had life been like the past year? Did they still celebrate the birthdays of their children, even though they weren’t there to blow out the candles themselves?  Did they try to find their child, only to realize they weren’t getting any answers? 

 

And what about the parents who had turned in their kids for testing, only to realize they weren’t getting them back?  They had put their trust in Hydra and Hydra had used that to take away their children and do experiments on them or work them to the bone, both of which could have killed them.  Some of these people’s kids were dead, and they had no idea.

 

Even once traffic had started moving again, Steve, Natasha, and Tony sat without speaking in the back of the van.  Tony and Natasha had a blank look on his face that Steve could tell was mirrored on his own. Coulson kept looking back at them worriedly but didn’t try to break them away from their thoughts.

 

“We’re here,” he announced sometime later, parking the van outside of a gate.

 

Steve hoisted them onto the other side of the gate, then did the vast majority of the lifting as they scrounged for the parts Tony needed.

 

“This is pointless!” Tony suddenly yelled, taking the part that was in his hand and throwing it as far as he could away from him.

 

“Tony!  We needed that!” Coulson said exasperatedly.

 

“So what?  What is it going to matter?  Even if we get these parts and I do my magic with them, how is it going to change anything?  We’ll just hide in the woods and die there or get caught and have to go right back to Hydra. Those families will never know what happened to their children and meanwhile, the kids are in labor camps til they die or being forced to be killers.  So why does it fucking matter if we get these parts? What’s the point?”

 

Steve and Natasha didn’t respond.  Natasha was staring off into the distance, eyes off focus, not trying to read someone’s mind, but maybe trying to escape her own.  Steve wished he could. He wished he could answer Tony’s questions. He wished he could do  _ something _ .

 

Instead, he just stood there, surrounded by trash.

 

Natasha suddenly focused.  “Someone’s coming,” she said urgently, turning to stare unseeingly to their left.

 

Her face paled.  “No…” she whispered, eyes widening.  “It’s a group of kids. They’ve been hiding in here from the police.  A Red Room agent is hunting them.”

 

Steve didn’t hesitate in shooting forward towards where Natasha was looking when he heard the words “Red Room.”  

 

“Steve!” He heard Coulson yell behind him but kept going.  

 

_ C’mon Stevie.  Gotta be home for supper, so gotta take care of this quick,  _ he heard, seeing Bucky’s bright, sharp grin in his mind.

 

He turned past a pile of wooden boards to see three kids, a boy and two girls around fourteen years old, running towards him.  As he watched, one of the girls stumbled.

 

“Kayla!” the boy screamed, going to turn to help her, but there was already someone there, tying her hands and feet together.

 

“Run!” she yelled before a gag was forced into her mouth.

 

Steve sprinted forward.  “This way!” he shouted, gesturing to the two remaining teens.  As they ran towards him, he kept an eye on the man standing over the girl.  He was a few years older than Steve, maybe twenty years old. There was a strange, unfocused look in his eye.  

 

Advancing on the man, Steve tried to see any weaknesses. 

 

_ He favors his left ankle and keeps his right shoulder open a little, see that, Stevie? _ he heard Bucky say.  Bucky had always been able to pick out weaknesses.  Maybe that was part of the reason why he was a Red now.

 

“Let her go,” he said to the other man, walking forward.  “You don’t really want to do this. Just let her go and we can help you.”

 

The man said nothing, just stepped in front of the tied up girl and got into loose fighting stance.  Even without speaking, his meaning was plain. He wasn’t giving up the girl and he would fight to complete his mission.

 

Far be it from Steve to walk away from a fight.

 

He tuned out the yells of his friends behind him, trying to find where he went, the crying of the girl at the Red’s feet, and the pounding of his heart until all he was focused on was the Red as he advanced on Steve.

 

In his training sessions with Coulson, Steve had learned that while he was strong, it didn’t do any good if he didn’t know how to use that strength correctly.  If he exerted too much force in a swing, he could easily be thrown off balance and have a difficult time getting back into the fight without getting hurt. But he was learning just how to control his motions.  And this seemed like excellent practice.

 

The Red swung at his head, trying to finish the fight quickly.  Steve ducked, but another punch was coming towards him as soon as he moved.  He realized he was fighting a  _ Red _ and that the Red could probably tell Steve’s next move as he went to make it.  This was going to be a hard fight to win.

 

_ Although _ , Steve thought as he threw a punch that hit nothing but air,  _ all I really need to do is stall until Natasha gets here _ .

 

As he took a punch to the solar plexus, the breath whooshing out of his lungs, he really wished she would hurry.

 

_ Natasha! _ he thought, hoping she would hear him somehow.   _ Help! _

 

_ I’m coming _ , he heard softly as he kicked out and the Red stumbled back a few paces, but soon advanced again.  Steve was impressed he hadn’t gone flying more. But then, Steve hadn’t landed a good blow this whole fight.

 

An elbow caught him on the cheekbone, splitting it open as Steve’s head snapped to the side.  He fell to his knees without realizing, his brain momentarily stunned by the blow.

 

The Red was suddenly behind him, putting him in a headlock.  He slowly squeezed more and more until Steve was scrambling, trying to gain purchase on either the Red or the ground to throw him off.  Steve’s vision started to turn black at the edges.

 

_ Natasha! Help me! _ he called again, hoping she would get there soon enough to save him.  This wasn’t the first time he has felt himself dying, but it wasn’t any easier now.

  
_ I’m sorry Bucky.. _ .  And the world went black.


	12. Chapter 12

“When I authorized your mission, I did NOT at ANY point, say you could bring home a brainwashed assassin!” Fury barked, making the three new kids flinch at his tone.  Checking himself, Fury pinched his nose and sighed.

 

“Miss Potts, would you please give our new recruits the tour?  We’ll figure out what to do with our other guest while you’re gone.”

 

“Sure thing, sir,” she said, smiling kindly at the three kids Natasha and the others had rescued while Steve was unconscious.  They had found out that aside from Kayla, there was also Malcolm and Anya. They had all agreed to come to Shield after Coulson had explained who they were and where they came from.

 

Steve hadn’t been awake for that part.  Steve hadn’t woken until they were back in the van and spent most of the trip back on the floor behind the driver and passenger seats.  The Red Room agent was on the floor between the first and second row of seats. Natasha told him she had been able to subdue him before he killed Steve.  It had been much more of a tight fit on the way back, what with the supplies they had gotten for Tony, the three fugitives, and the Red Room agent.

 

Natasha had knocked him unconscious instead of trying to break him from any of the brainwashing he had been through.  She made sure to keep him under throughout the entire trip back to Shield. 

 

“I mean, I get where you’re coming from, I do, but don’t you think this guy would rather have you rummaging around in his head instead of Loki?” Tony had asked.  He was squashed into the wall next to Natasha, the brainwashed agent next to them. The three kids were in the very back of the van, not only so they could feel safer from seeing everyone in front of them, but also so there wasn’t an easy way out if they changed their minds.  Coulson didn’t want to take any chances with his charges, especially with Steve out for the count.

 

Natasha had shrugged.  “I honestly don’t have the training to try and remove all the brainwashing he’s been through.  I helped with the conditioning process, but I don’t know how to undo what I did.”

 

She looked down to where Steve was resting and reassured him, “I’ll try to learn though, for when you save Bucky.”

 

Steve had smiled, but hadn’t said anything.  Not just because his neck was still throbbing with pain and covered in bruises, making it difficult to talk, but also because he wasn’t sure he’d even be able to save Bucky at this point.  He had been completely useless in a fight against one Red Room agent. Granted, he was pretty sure this agent had been trained specifically in hand to hand, just like Bucky had been trained to be a sniper.  But at the same time, it was disheartening to be in a fight after he had been training for weeks and still lose.

 

Now, Fury turned to them and took in Steve’s neck, the unconscious Red Room agent, and Coulson’s unapologetic face.

 

Finally giving up and sighing, he said to Coulson, “Get Loki so he can have a look under this guy’s hood.  Rogers, go to the nurse. You two,” he said, zoning in on Tony and Natasha, “do whatever. Build something, observe Loki, whatever.  Just don’t blow anything up okay?”

 

“Yessir, Director Eyepatch, sir,” Tony said, seeming miffed by the very idea he would blow something up.  

 

If Steve felt up to it, he would have laughed.  As it was, he just said, “I’d like to observe while Loki works on the Red Room agent as well, sir.”

 

Fury rolled his eye.  “Rogers, you have a nice necklace of bruises and are using a lot of your strength to just keep standing.  I don’t need Pepper to tell me that. Go rest.”

 

Steve stood firm.  He needed to know what would happen to the Red Room agent.  He needed to be there while it happened. If he did save Bucky, if they brought him back, he had to know what would happen to him.  If he would remember anything. If he would be the same. If there would be anything more than an assassin in his brain.

 

Sighing, Fury looked to Natasha.  For a moment, Steve thought he was going to ask her to knock Steve out, but he merely commanded, “Keep an eye on him.”

 

Natasha nodded and led Steve to where he assumed Loki was.  Sure enough, they got to one of the buildings that was used for isolating campers and, opening one of the doors, found Loki, Coulson, and the still unconscious agent seated in the room.  The agent was restrained. Loki and Coulson looked around as they came in, but Loki just scoffed and went back to looking at the man in the chair while Coulson nodded at them and motioned for them to be quiet.

 

“Wake up,” Loki said suddenly.  Everyone else the room tensed. Steve had expected for him to root around in the guy’s brain while he was unconscious and try to help that way.  Apparently not.

 

The agent jerked awake, scanning the room and its occupants.

 

“What is your name?” Loki asked, staring at the man.

 

He said nothing.

 

“I said,” Loki emphasized, “what is your name?”

 

Through gritted teeth, the man grunted, “Agent 315.”

 

“No,” Loki said, and Steve was surprised to hear his voice become slightly more gentle.  “I didn’t ask for your identification. I asked for your name. What did your family call you?”

 

There was a long pause, but Loki didn’t make him speak.  

 

The man began to breathe faster, sweat beading on his forehead.  He flinched within his restraints but didn’t try to get out of them.  He seemed to be fighting within himself, and Steve didn’t know who was winning, the person he was before or the killer the Red Room turned him into.

 

Natasha took Steve’s hand and he got the feeling she could sense the turmoil the man was going through.  He squeezed back, trying to console her even though he had no idea what she was feeling.

 

“Tim. Dugan. My name was Tim Dugan,” he said, and Steve’s heart broke a bit at the past tense.

 

The man, Tim, took a shaky breath and then added, “My littlest sister called me Dum Dum.  She was five.”

 

And he started to cry.

 

The rest of the people in the room just stood there, unable to do anything while he sobbed.

 

Natasha began to hum.  Steve looked at her, but she didn’t seem to realize that she was doing it.  Her eyes were unfocused in the way he recognized from their training sessions.  She was in Dugan’s mind so far that she had somewhat left her own.

 

Steve vaguely recognized the tune, but it was difficult to discern without the words.  He felt as if his ma had sung it every once in a while when doing the dishes or knitting.

 

Dugan, on the other hand, lifted his head to stare at Natasha.  The tears didn’t stop as she continued to hum along to the song that had stayed in his mind through brainwashing and killing.

 

“But here in this graveyard that's still no man’s land.  The countless white crosses in mute witness stand.   To man's blind indifference to his fellow man.  And a whole generation were butchered and damned,” Natasha sang softly, but it wasn’t her usual voice.  It was softer, with a lilt to it Steve recognized.

 

His ma had had the same accent.

 

She finished the song and they all sat there, staring at her.  Steve thought they probably were all seeing something different.

 

“My ma used to sing that song,” Tim whispered.

 

Natasha nodded.  “It’s still there even after everything that happened to you.  That’s a good sign.”

 

Tim, in the process of wiping his face off on his shoulder, paused.  “What happened to me? I don’t…” His eyes unfocused as he trailed off.

 

Natasha sucked in a breath before collapsing.  Steve caught her before she hit the floor. He was so distracted by tending to her, wondering what had happened, that he wasn’t paying attention to the man in the chair.

 

Steve looked back at him when the screaming started.  

 

Tim was staring wide-eyed at the wall, not actually seeing it.  His mouth was open in an unending scream that reverberated around the room.  

 

Loki was hunched over, his hands to his ears, his nose almost touching his knees.  Steve couldn’t see his face through his hair, just the tension in his spine and the imperceptible twitch every once in a while.

 

“Loki, shut him down!” Coulson shouted.

 

Loki didn’t move, but the next moment, Tim tipped over in his chair and was silent.  He was still shallowly breathing though.

 

Slowly, Loki uncurled from the ball he had curled into and took a few deep breaths.  Natasha began to rouse.

 

“Are you two ok?” Coulson demanded, seemingly torn between going to both of the Oranges as they pulled themselves back into their own minds.  Seeing Steve was looking after Natasha, he went over to Loki and extended a hand towards his hunched back.

 

“Don’t touch me!” Loki snarled.  “I might scramble your brain by accident.”

 

Coulson lowered his hand slowly.  “What did you see?”

 

Loki chuckled without any mirth.  “Everything. Who he was before. Who they turned him into.  What they made him do. He’s still reliving things now, even though I knocked him out.  They will be the subject of nightmares for a long time.”

 

Steve looked down at Natasha.  She was pale and shaking. The same look was on her face as when her ribs were bruised: she was in pain, but pushing through it.

 

“You ok?” he asked quietly.

 

She nodded.  “It just got to be too much.”

 

Steve nodded, gently rubbing circles on her back.  No one in the room spoke, which let his mind wander, as it usually did, to Bucky.  Bucky was just like Tim. They had both had their minds invaded by Oranges so they would do atrocities.  If this is how Tim had reacted, he hated to think how Bucky would feel. Even if Steve got Bucky out of the Red Room, he would come here and be forced to remember all he did when he was brainwashed. 

 

By bringing Bucky to Shield, Steve would also have to be ready to torture him.  Steve wanted to save Bucky but he didn’t know if he could anymore.


	13. Chapter 13

It took a long time for Tim to adjust to being in control of himself.  He stayed in the same room they had brought him to, refusing to be around people.  From what Steve gather, this was not only because Tim didn’t want to be overwhelmed by people, but also because he didn’t want to accidentally hurt anybody.

 

Once a day, Loki would go into the room and help Tim work through his conditioning.  It was mentally taxing on both of them, but they continued to work together. Steve had his misgivings about Loki, but it was like Natasha had said before she had started training with him.  He was the best mind reader at camp. Steve had to trust in Loki’s abilities even if he didn’t trust him.

 

Eventually, it paid off.

 

About three weeks after they had brought Tim back, Loki had emerged exhausted from another deconditioning session and looked around the waiting crowd made up of Fury, Coulson, Thor, Natasha, and Steve.

 

“He wants to be called Dum Dum from now on,” Loki told them before walking away, ignoring his brother and the hurt look on his face.

 

“He’s starting to reclaim parts of his old life.  That’s a good sign, right?” Steve asked Natasha hopefully.

 

She nodded.  “It definitely means he is trying to get back to who he was before if he wants to be called that name.  Didn’t he say that was what he sister called him?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Then we might just get him back.  Not all the way, there were too many horrible things he’s been forced to do to ever fully recover.  But maybe someday he’ll come out of that room.” Natasha stood there a moment before she turned away.  “C’mon. Let’s go see if we can help Tony more.”

 

Tony had been working almost around the clock since they had gotten back.  He barely stopped to sleep and more than once either Coulson or Fury had to threaten to have Natasha knock him out to get him out of the workshop.  Steve thought Tony was particularly motivated after his speech in the dump. Tony was trying to make a difference in one of the only ways he knew how.  Making things.

 

He had multiple projects in mind, he had rambled to Steve and Natasha before, but he was working on a barrier to go around the camp now.  It would be made of energy, and make them invisible to outside eyes. Steve didn’t quite get all the science behind it but understood that it was going to be a hologram protecting Shield, making it possible for them to vanish from outside eyes.

 

When they got to Tony’s studio though, they found Clint and Bruce already helping Tony with his project. 

 

“Thor, I’ll need your help lifting this.  I don’t need any more minions, you two can go,” Tony said, dismissing the other two.

 

Steve looked at Natasha, who shrugged.  “Wanna do some more mind training?” she suggested.

 

He hesitated for a fraction of a second before nodding.  He needed to be able to protect himself, no matter which memories got brought up in the process.

 

Except when they actually got into their usual room and got started, Steve’s worst memory came to the surface.  Worse than leaving Bucky behind. Worse than Steve almost dying. 

 

He remembered the day his mother died.

 

Sarah had been sick for months, almost a year at that point.  Her skin hung off her bones, most of her muscles unused and weak by the end. She was coughing up blood frequently and it was difficult for her to breathe most of the time.

 

By the time she had died, she had been in the hospital for three months.  A respirator kept her breathing regularly. 

 

Steve had stepped out of the room for a minute to stretch his legs and get a drink.  He had been sitting at her bedside for at least fourteen hours, either sleeping or sitting there and holding his mom’s hand.  When he came back, the doctor was waiting for him in the doorway with a grim look on her face. Steve had pushed past her, not believing his mother was gone, she couldn't be gone, he hadn't said goodbye…

 

But her eyes were closed.  Her hand was still warm, but there was no pulse.  __ Her face, which had once been so full of life and love, was still.  

 

Steve was suddenly furious for no reason and the anger wasn’t directed at Natasha.  He was sick of other people seeing his pain. He was sick of feeling it. 

 

So he shut off his connection to Natasha.  It was like shutting a door he didn't know was there.  It wasn't the brick wall he had pictured when faced with Loki.  It was a wall, yes, but there were windows and doors so parts of him were still getting out.  But he chose what could be seen and what couldn't.

 

When he opened his eyes, Natasha was smiling at him with tears on her cheeks.

 

“You did it,” she said, sniffing and wiping her face with her sleeve.

 

Steve's own face was wet.  All he could do was nod.

 

“She'd be proud of you, you know.”

 

A sob welled up in Steve's throat and he was suddenly crying in earnest, for the first time since his world had imploded.  He had shut himself down for so long he had many things to cry for. Him and Bucky being separated. Dr. Erskine being killed.  Finding out about Bucky’s situation. So many other things all came out in heaving, wracking sobs that shook his body. He backed against the wall and slid down, curling into a ball as he cried.

 

When he finally calmed, he realized Natasha was sitting right next to him.  She wasn't touching him or looking in his direction, she was just silently there for him.

 

Steve let his gratitude seep through his newly found mental barriers.

 

Natasha bumped her shoulder against his.  “Anytime, Steve.”

 

Neither of them spoke aloud anymore, just communicated back and forth through their minds until Clint came and found them for dinner.


	14. Chapter 14

“I’m beginning to question your survival instincts,” Sam drawled from the other side of the dinner table.

 

“Come on, it's a sound idea,” Steve protested.

 

“It's a suicide mission, Steve,” Bruce said quietly from the end of the bench.

 

“Not with help!  If you guys have my back, I'm sure it's gonna work.”

 

“You want to go out on missions, seek out kids who need sanctuary, and in so doing, make the Red Room come after you so you can rescue you brainwashed boyfriend.  What could go wrong?” Clint asked sarcastically, throwing a roll up towards the rafters before catching it over and over.

 

“Not my boyfriend…” Steve muttered towards the table.

 

He looked up to see everyone rolling their eyes.

 

“Seriously guys, there's a high chance he hates me now.  I was the one to put him in this situation.”

 

“Steve, the only one in the world to hate you is yourself,” Tony said, coming back with second helpings and throwing Clint another roll, which he started juggling with his first.

 

Natasha inclined her head in acknowledgment at the truth of Tony's statement.  Steve let her feel his annoyance. She smirked at him over her cup as she took a drink.

 

“What about fighting? You know not what weapons the agents will use,” Thor said concernedly. 

 

“We could ask Dum Dum for that information.  Natasha could help him get through the difficulty of remembering,” Steve said, already planning through his strategy for the first mission.

 

“I mean, yes, but at the same time, Steve, you should ask him if he even wants to help you,” Sam said apologetically.  “There’s a possibility he doesn’t want you to save the other agents, after what he’s been through. He probably doesn’t want to have the same thing happen to other people.”

 

Steve sagged momentarily.  The same thought had crossed his mind many times.  Objectively, he understood. But the Red Room was turning people into weapons.  They were forcing the agents to kill, kidnap, and hurt people. They were stripping away their autonomy, not giving them a choice in their actions.  Steve couldn’t stand for that, even if they hadn’t taken Bucky.

 

“We’ll ask him,” Steve said, nodding at Sam.

 

Once they finished eating Steve, Sam, and Natasha went to see Dum Dum.  The rest went off to help Tony with his experiments.

 

Dum Dum looked up from where he was sitting on his cot when they walked in.  The light was off, and the sunlight from outside illuminated how gaunt he looked.  His hair was matted and his face was thin. “What do you want?” he asked. His voice sounded the same now as Natasha’s had when she had first gotten the muzzle off.  Hoarse from misuse.

 

“We want your help,” Steve started, but was cut off by a snort from Dum Dum.

 

“Buddy, I think I’ve “helped” enough,” he said bitterly, turning away from them, facing the wall.

 

Steve took a deep breath, exchanging a look with the other two.  Sam looked back warily, waiting to see what play Steve would decide to make.  Natasha just nodded, ready to back whatever Steve was about to do.

 

“I know I’m asking a lot.  But you’re the only one with the information we need.  We’re going to find kids who are hiding from the Red Room, so we can bring them here to safety.  We need information about the Red Room’s agents: their skills, training, protocols. I know thinking about what they did to you is hard, but I think you could really do some good by sharing it,” Steve said.

 

Dum Dum said nothing, looking at the wall.

 

“They have my friend.  I wanna lure out as many agents as possible, until they send him after me.”

 

“And what are you gonna do with the agents once they’re lured out, huh?  Bring ‘em here? Make them face what they’ve done? You won’t get many thanks for that,” Dum Dum said.

 

Steve flinched.  “I know. I don’t expect thanks.  I don’t want them. I just want Bucky back.”

 

Dum Dum turned from the wall to appraise Steve.  “Aw, hell. You’re Steve, aren’t ya?”

 

Steve nodded, heart in his throat.

 

“Well, shit.  Don’t have much choice then, do I?  Barnes would skin me alive if I didn’t help ya,” Dum Dum said, moving so he faced Steve entirely.

 

“He mentioned me?” Steve asked.

 

_ You’re glowing.  It’s actually disgusting _ , he heard Natasha say in his head.  He had a sudden picture of a dog wagging his tail enthusiastically in his head and he didn’t put it there.

 

Giving her a mental middle finger, he watched as Dum Dum burst out laughing.

 

“Mentioned you?  Mentioned? Hell, that boy couldn’t shut up about you when he wasn’t under control.  “Steve did this, Steve did that,” “Dumb punk is gonna get himself killed without me,” “Did I ever tell you about the time Steve…”.  Trust me, he talked about you,” Dum Dum said, shaking his head.

 

Taking a deep breath, Dum Dum seemed to steel himself.  “Ok, what do you want to know?”

 

“In fairness to you, there a few things you should know first.  This is Sam Wilson and Natasha Romanoff. They’re two of my friends who will be going on missions with me.”

 

“We’ve met,” Natasha said tightly.

 

Dum Dum looked at her and said, “You talkin’ bout the time you sang to me or the time you put me under?  Cause I remember both.”

 

Natasha shrugged stiffly.  “Either.” 

 

She stepped forward and held out a hand.  “Natasha Romanoff. I’m sorry for what I did to you.”

 

Steve felt a surge of pride for her and let it through his mental barriers.  Her shoulders seemed to relax a minuscule amount. They lost all tension completely when Dum Dum reached out and shook her hand.  

 

“I reckon we were both doing something we didn’t wanna do.  I don’t blame ya. Not much, anyway,” he finished with a grin.

 

“That’s fair,” Natasha said, slightly returning the smile as she retreating back to lean against the wall.

 

“Hey, man,” Sam said.  “You know you don’t have to do any of this if it’s gonna hurt you, right?”

 

Dum Dum waved him off.  “Living in my head hurts most days, so this shouldn’t be so bad.  You sure you guys can take what’s inside here though?”

 

Natasha shrugged.  “Already seen it.”

 

Steve nodded, though he had his reservations.  He was about to learn how Bucky had lived since they had been separated.  He wasn’t sure he was ready to know.

 

“Well, might as well walk you through then,” Dum Dum continued, leaning against the wall to get more comfortable, settling in for the long haul.

 

“I felt the change a couple weeks after turning seventeen.  Things got overwhelming fast, let me tell you. My parents… They didn’t know what to do.  Four kids other than me, all younger, and then they have me going batshit. Once the notice came out that people like me should go in for testing, they packed me a bag, told me they’d see me soon, and dropped me at the nearest test station.  My littlest sister, Emma, she tried to give me her teddy bear for good luck. I’m glad I had her keep it. Told her to call it Dum Dum so I could always look after her.”

 

His eyes clouded momentarily, then he collected himself and moved on.  “Once they tested me and found out I was a Red, they transported me to the Red Room right away.  Picked up a couple of others along the way. Dernier was my favorite of the bunch. Cursed the guards out in French until they finally shut him up.  He became as accustomed to wearing a muzzle as an Orange was.”

 

Steve sent a wave of concern out to Natasha but she didn’t react to Dum Dum’s words.  Steve remembered none of this information was new to her, that she had already been exposed to all of Dum Dum’s memories.  No wonder she had collapsed.

 

“Once we got to the place, we were thrown into separate rooms and had the door locked behind us.  No way out. Just you, a bed, and a toilet and sink in the corner. All the comforts of home,” he said, sarcastically, sneering.  

 

“Only time we were let out was mealtimes.  Guards all around us as we shoveled as much food in our mouths as they would provide.  Once they made us start training, they gave us more to eat. No point having a weapon that can’t work because it’s starving.

 

“That’s when I met Barnes.  He came in about two weeks after I did.  He had been injured, something with his arm, and it was still in a cast and sling.  Still managed to knock the tooth outta a guy who was picking on a younger kid though.”

 

“I did that.  I hurt Bucky. Broke his arm with my strength,” Steve said.

 

“And he told anyone who would listen how his little twig of a best friend picked him up bridal style and got you both outta there.  So let go of that self-deprecating shit. Barnes wouldn’t stand for it and I won’t either, seeing as he ain’t here,” Dum Dum replied vehemently.

 

“Yeah, yeah, shuddup,” Steve muttered.  “Keep going with your story.”

 

“Well, they started training us.  We didn’t have much choice about it, though some tried to resist.  Didn’t go so well for ‘em. Some we just didn’t see again, others were broken.  I found a group of good people though, while we were all learning to fight. What’s that movie called?  Band of Brothers or something? That was us. We had each other’s backs. Gabe, Dernier, Monty, Falsworth, Bucky, and me.  And then the Oranges came. The first wave of them, at least.”

 

Dum Dum sighed heavily, looking at Natasha now.  “I don’t blame you for what ya did to me, but just the same, I really wish I had never had ya in my head.  You did a number on me something fierce.”

 

“I didn’t want to,” she said, shaking her head, red hair swinging.  “I wanted to help but I didn’t know how. I didn’t know what they were going to make you do.”

 

“Yeah…” Dum Dum’s head rested on the wall as he looked up at the ceiling.  “We never did either. It’s not like we coulda stopped them anyhow. The worst part was coming out of it afterward, when they didn’t need ya.  Sometimes you remembered what you’d done. Other times, it was all blank. Those were almost worse.”

 

He continued to look up as he said, “Lotsa people offed themselves.  Numbers dwindled fast. So eventually, they just kept us under all the time.  Told us when to sleep, when to eat. We were machines to them. Weapons. Nothing more.”

 

“What weapons did they have you use?” Steve asked quietly.

 

“All sorts.  We all had our specialties though.  Mine is hand to hand mostly, though you give me an ax, I can do some damage.  Monty’s a stealthy mofo, can sneak up on you and cut your throat before you know you’re not alone.  Knew exactly where to go with a blade to kill quick. Think he wanted to be a doctor before all this.  Falsworth was a sharpshooter with a pistol. Could hit the same inch of a target every time. More close range to what Bucky did, though.  Barnes was a-”

 

“Sniper.  We know,” Steve cut in, unable to hear it from Dum Dum’s mouth.

 

“Yeah.  Dernier was into explosions.  Grenades, bombs, you name it, he had it or could make it.  And Gabe, he took to machinery. Bigger weapons. Not as useful in a city, but when you rent us out to anywhere, or anyone, in the world?  That skill gets a lot more applicable.”

 

“They send you anywhere?” Sam asked.

 

“Couple places, yeah.  It’s weird going under in the States and waking up in Argentina, let’s just say that.  I didn’t get out much though. Gabe, Dernier, and Barnes were the travelers of the group.  Think Barnes the most, actually.”

 

“Could you ever fight back?” Steve said, ignoring the concern coming mentally from Natasha to focus on the information at hand.

 

“Nah.  We tried, but it just didn’t work.  You’d be screaming in your head, but nothing would come out of your mouth.  And like I said, once you're under, you usually don’t know what’d happened til it was done.”

 

“What if we were to have an Orange on site with us, so if we come across a Red, we could break their conditioning?” Steve asked.

 

“You’d have a hell of a time of it, if it’d work.  The agent would just as soon keep fighting ya as come with ya.  You’d have to be careful they don’t hurt themselves once they come back to themselves, too.  The best plan of action is to knock ‘em out and bring ‘em back here, then break their minds. Safer for them and you.”

 

“Not when you put it like that…” Sam said dryly.

 

Dum Dum shrugged.  “You wanted my advice, there it is.”

 

He looked at Steve.  “You wanna save your boy, you’re gonna have to work for it.  He’s the most heavily guarded of all of us when we go on missions.  And they don’t send him after just anyone.”

 

Steve nodded.  “Then I’ll just have to keep pissing off the Red Room until they do.”


	15. Chapter 15

“And how are you going to find kids?  The whole point of them hiding is that they aren't found,” Clint said.

 

“Fury has a few connections, and once we do a few missions I'm sure the word will get around and more people will reach out to us,” Steve replied.

 

“And if they don't?” Bruce asked quietly.

 

Steve shrugged a little helplessly.  “Then we'll do something else.”

 

Their first mission went well.  Dum Dum later said the reason for their success was the Red Room wasn’t expecting them to be so stupid to pick up a group of kids from the middle of a city in broad daylight.  Once they had saved those first kids though, the element of surprise was gone.

 

Which is probably why the second mission went so badly.

 

Steve, Natasha, Sam, and Clint had volunteered to go.  Fury had gotten a tip-off about some kids whose parents had hidden them away all this time, avoiding detection.  But lately, the parents had gotten twitchy about the police being around, asking questions. At least, that was what Fury had been told.

 

“It could always be a trap,” Fury said before they had left.  “The Red Room could be drawing us out so they can track or kill you.  Be careful and don’t do anything stupid. Alright?”

 

He seemed to be looking at Steve when he asked the question and Steve, trying not to take offense, nodded.

 

“Alright.  Coulson will be in the van, waiting for extraction.  Natasha, you hang back and feel people out. If the Red Room shows up, we need to know.  Clint, you have her back. Sam and Steve will go in and get the kids. Rendezvous at the van and get the hell out.  Any questions?”

 

“What do we do if the Red Room does come?” Sam asked.

 

“Hopefully Natasha will be able to sense them in time that you’ll be able to corner them, and then she’ll be able to knock them out.  Bring them back here. Check for trackers though. The kids are the first priority here. Get them to safety before you try to take the agent in.”

“Yessir,” Steve said.

 

The actual mission didn’t really go like that.

 

It started smoothly.  They arrived in the residential area they had been told about.  It was quiet, not many houses, lots of space between the ones that were there.  It was in a smaller town, and not many people had been around when they had driven through.

 

After they parked, Steve tried to make himself look as much as an adult as possible before he opened the van door.  He didn’t want to ruin the mission by looking like he shouldn’t be there.

 

Sam followed him as he went up to the front door.  He watched Steve’s back as Steve knocked.

 

A black woman peeked through the curtain next to the door and immediately let it close again.  The door opened slowly, her putting her head around it so just her face could be seen.

 

“You here to help my boys?” she asked hesitantly.

 

“Yes, ma’am, we’re with Shield,” Steve answered, nodding.

 

She nodded, her eyes filling with tears.  Closing the door, she undid the chain and then opened it for them.  “C’mon in then. I’ll get them.”

 

Steve and Sam stood awkwardly in the hall waiting for her to come back.

 

_ Everything still good on your end? _ Steve asked Natasha.

 

She sent back a wave a reassurance and the image of the mother fiercely hugging her two children in the attic.

 

A few moments later, the mom was back, this time with two teenage boys with her.  One looked to be about sixteen, the other a few years younger. 

 

“Hey, my name is Steve and this is Sam,” Steve said, gesturing between him and Sam.  “We’re here to get you to safety.”

 

“I don’t wanna be taken away, Mom, please,” the little boy said, his eyes wide.

 

The older brother put an arm around his brother and didn’t say anything.  

 

“Hey man,” Sam said.  “We’re going to make sure you’re safe, no matter what.  Okay? I don’t know what you’ve heard about where kids go when they’ve been taken away, but we’re going to take you someplace safe.”

 

“You’re not just gonna trick us into going to one of those camps?” the older boy demanded.

 

“Shield isn’t like that,” Steve said.  “Believe me, I spent a year in one of their camps.  I wouldn't wish that on anybody, especially someone I’m trying to help.  Okay?”

 

Hesitantly, the boy nodded.

 

“Ok.  You both ready?” Steve asked, wanting to let the family say goodbye.  He hadn’t been able to.

 

The boys nodded, though Steve could see the younger one’s lip trembling.

 

“We’ll protect them, ma’am.  I promise,” Sam said to the mother, who was trying to put on a brave face.

 

She bobbed her head once.  Her eyes were filled with tears that didn’t spill over. Not yet, anyway.

 

_ All clear, Natasha? _ Steve asked.

 

She sent back the image of a clear street, no threats yet.   
  


They all got into the van and strapped in.  Everything went fine until they got to the intersection that would lead them out of town.  Another van pulled in front of them, which wasn’t bad, until it abruptly stopped there. Coulson must have seen something through the windshield because he shouted, “Get down!”

 

His shout mingled with Natasha’s scream, “Cover your ears!”

 

Steve shielded the kid next to him as his ears were overwhelmed by Noise.  It wasn’t as loud as it could have been, not like the speakers around Hydra, but it still dug into his brain and felt like glass was sinking into his nerve endings.

 

The doors were yanked open and Steve and the others were snatched out of the van.  Steve hit the pavement hard, trying to focus around the Noise tearing apart his brain.  He realized his eyes were closed and forced them open. Coulson was down, blood trickling from a forehead wound.  It looked like he had been hit over the head with something.

 

The rest of the group was surrounding the van on the ground, all incapacitated by the Noise.  Steve, from some distant place that could feel something besides pain, felt horrible for the two boys he was supposed to be rescuing.  They were being exposed for the first time to the horrors used against people like them.

 

He couldn’t let them be taken.  He couldn’t let his friends be captured.  He had to do something, anything, so he could keep them from having to go back to that awful place.

 

Steve slowly inched his way to Coulson, under the pretext of looking after him.  But Steve knew he had a gun somewhere on his person. If Steve could find it, he might be able to act.  The Noise dug deeper and deeper into him, and tears started to cloud his vision. He realized that men were surrounding him and all his friends.  One roughly turned Clint on his back and held a machine to his face.

 

“Got a Green here, name of Clint Barton,” the man said, moving on to Natasha.  Steve saw Clint’s hand scrabble on the ground after the man, as if to stop him from getting near her.

 

“She’s an Orange.  Make sure to keep that going,” the man with the scanner said, jerking his head the direction the Noise was coming from.  Steve noticed two more vehicles were next to the first, but only the van seemed to be emitting the Noise. “I don’t want her in my head.”

 

Steve continued to search Coulson, pretending to help him.  While Steve was worried about the gash on Coulson’s forehead, he was more concerned about his friends.

 

He found the gun in a holster at Coulson’s side.  Just as he pulled it out, he was turned over onto his back, and stared defiantly up at the scanner and the man wielding it.  He raised the gun and people scattered as he pulled the trigger. Steve hadn’t covered guns while training with Coulson. They had only covered hand to hand combat, but now he regretted that as he missed by a wide margin.

 

Realizing he didn’t have much time before the others regrouped, he staggered to his feet even as the Noise seemed to weigh him down, making it hard to stand straight.  He aimed at the van where the Noise was coming from and pulled the trigger repeatedly, hoping one of them would be a lucky shot.

 

Apparently, one was.

 

The Noise cut out and there was blessed silence for a moment before all hell broke loose.  Some of the men who had cut them off ran away, not wanting to face Steve and the others without the protection of the Noise.  Others got out their weapons, though Steve noticed none of them were guns. There were Tasers, batons, and knives, but all of them could be used nonlethally.  These men were aiming to take them in.

 

_ Natasha, I could really use some back up so WAKE UP _ , Steve shouted into Natasha’s mind.

 

He didn’t have time to see if she had responded before he was swarmed on.  In the ensuing fight, he dropped the gun. The men with the Tasers seemed to be staying back, ready to intervene if the others couldn’t take down Steve first.  Steve dodged around most of the attacks, but had to counter with his own. One man with batons was especially quick and got in a few hits. Steve felt bruises blooming on his forearm and the right side of his rib cage.

 

These guys wanted to take them in alive, but they didn’t care if they were damaged.

 

Steve noticed the longer he fought, the more men seemed to retreat.  Finally, there were only two men who he was fighting, the one skilled with the batons, and another man who had a knife.  Out of the corner of his eye, he saw one of the men with a Taser raise it.

 

The gunshot was unexpectedly loud, now the Noise was gone.  The Taser flew out of the man’s hand, his trigger finger bent at an odd angle.  He was so busy screaming, he didn’t see Clint holding Coulson’s gun on him.

 

“Drop them,” he said.  His voice was rough, still recovering from the effects of the Noise.

 

“How many more bullets do you think you got in that gun, boy?  Enough for all of us?” one of the men taunted.

 

“He doesn’t need any bullets,” Natasha said, gaining all their attention in an instant.  She had been crouched next to Coulson as Sam looked him over. Coulson had yet to regain consciousness and as she rose, she looked pissed.  “He has me.”

 

The color seemed to drain out of the men’s faces as they remembered her placement.  Orange. The mind controllers.

 

“So why don’t we do this nicely, you put down your weapons, and we go on our merry way?” Clint said, smiling coldly at them.

 

“See, you come at such a good price, it might be worth having such a pretty thing in my head,” the man with the baton who Steve had fought said, looking at Natasha.

 

Clint tightened his hold on the gun as he said derisively,  “Are you serious? You’re bounty hunters? You track down kids to get your jollies?”  

 

He aimed the gun at the man who was still leering at Natasha and said, “How pathetic,” before pulling the trigger.

 

Steve jumped slightly at the sound of the gun, even though he had been expecting it.  The man screamed as the bullet tore through his outer thigh. Clint definitely had better aim the Steve.  Might have something to do with his powers.

 

The bounty hunters seemed more keen to put down their weapons once they saw Clint was serious.  

 

“Get Coulson and the kids in the van again,” he commanded, not taking his eyes off the men.  

 

Natasha stepped forward and all the men cringed away a step.  She stared them down, and the way they all stiffened made Steve think she had invaded their minds.  He was honestly impressed she could control so many at once.

 

The men slumped onto the ground as one when she was done.  Clint went over and undid one of their belts, making a tourniquet for the man he’d shot.  Steve went over the vehicles and opened each hood one by one, looking around and shrugging before tearing apart wires and hoses left and right.  He wasn’t like Tony, he didn’t understand what he was seeing, but he figured if he did enough damage, the bounty hunters wouldn't be able to follow them.

 

They reconvened at their van.  Steve took a moment to take stock of the situation.  The two kids they were rescuing were huddled together in the back of the van, tear tracks down their cheeks.  They were still shaking with the effects of the Noise. Clint had road burn on his cheek from when he hit the ground after being pulled out of the van.  Natasha looked alright, if a little shaken. Sam had blood on his hands from tending to Coulson, who was settled on the floor of the van, still unconscious.  And Steve… Steve had a huge bruise forming on his forearm and bruised, possibly broken, ribs.

 

Everyone was looking at him, wanting to know what to do now.

 

Steve took as deep a breath as his hurt ribs would allow and asked, “Anyone know how to drive?”


	16. Chapter 16

By the time they got back to Shield, it was dark out.  Clint, luckily, did know how to drive. The more unfortunate part was that no one but Coulson knew exactly where to go, and he was still unconscious when they started out.

 

They went back the direction they came and made up a couple turns that all turned out to be wrong.  Steve realized this had been a huge detail to overlook. It wasn’t like they could stop and ask for directions.

 

Coulson woke up about an hour after they had left where they had been ambushed.  He had a headache, but still managed to direct them pretty well after they had filled him in on what had happened.  He seemed to be trying to not show the pain he was feeling, but Steve didn’t need to be a Red to see the tightness around his eyes and the tense set of his shoulders.

 

“I wish we had painkillers for you.  That’s another thing we didn’t think of.  First aid supplies,” Steve said.

 

Sam piped up from the back, where he had been talking to the kids, “You should start a list of things that went wrong, so we can avoid them in the future.  And of things we need for our next missions.”

 

Clint started listing off sarcastically, “Step one: don’t get stopped by bounty hunters.  Step two: know where the fuck we’re going. Step three: have weapons for more people than the adult of the group.  Step four: make sure to pack a first aid kit so, in the event of an injury, we can actually fucking help.”

 

Steve snorted.  “Seems like a good place to start to me.  Also, there are children. Watch your language.”

 

Clint huffed out a laugh.  He yawned, then shook his head, blinking his eyes a few times.  They were all tired, especially after the effects of the Noise. The pain had taken a lot out of them.

 

The only sound for a while was the gravel kicking up to hit the underside of the van.

 

“So… bounty hunters, huh?” Steve said, unable to stop thinking about them.

 

“Yeah, as if we didn’t have our hands full with the Red Room, we need to worry about those guys too,” Clint said.

 

“At least they’re doing it for money, not because someone is forcing them to,” Natasha pointed out from the passenger seat.

 

“How is that a good thing?” Sam asked.

 

“...Good point,” Natasha said.

 

“It’ll be easier to overpower them, because they have their free will.  They can get scared and feel pain, whereas the Red Room agents are programmed not to,” Steve answered.

 

“Again, good point,” Natasha conceded.

 

“Some got away,” Sam said from the back.  “Natasha didn’t wipe all of them.”

 

“So we have them to worry about in particular,” Steve mused.  “Also, Clint, how did you know how to aim a gun?” 

 

“I didn’t.  It’s all to do with angles though and those are sort of my specialty.  I think I need more practice. I was actually aiming for his knee when I got him in the thigh,” Clint answered cheerfully, not taking his eyes off the road.

 

“Oh.”

 

“There should be a break in the trees on your left coming up, Clint.  Turn there and Shield is up ahead,” Coulson said suddenly.

 

“Alright.”

 

There was quite a ruckus when they arrived. Half the camp was asleep, but the half that wasn’t all came out to see who was arriving.  Steve remembered how weird it had been to arrive his first time, so as he stepped out of the van, he said, “Give them some space, guys. It’s been a rough day.”

 

Most of the crowd went back to their beds, but a few stragglers remained.  Thor pushed his way forward to hug first Steve, then the rest of the group, before shaking hands with the two new boys and saying, “Welcome to Shield.  We’ll keep you safe here.”

 

Steve didn’t know what it was about Thor, the bulging muscles, the booming voice, or just the benign demeanor, but the boys seemed to be immediately at ease.  So much so, the younger one started to tear up.

 

“There is no shame in crying.  As Steve said, you had a hard day,” Thor said gently, resting his hand on the boy’s shoulder.

 

The boy squirmed away from Thor to hug his brother, hiding his face in the older boy’s shoulder.

 

Fury came over from his office, looking thoroughly displeased.  Natasha mentally sent the Jaws theme song to the three boys as he approached, which made it hard for Steve to keep a straight face.  Clint was less fortunate. He burst out laughing for no apparent reason.

 

“What about this situation is funny, Clint?” Fury demanded, glaring at him.

 

Clint was still chuckling as he said, “Nothing, sir.  Nothing at all.”

 

“Damn straight, it isn’t.  You were supposed to be back five hours ago and we had no way of contacting you to know if you had been captured.”

 

_ Step five: have sufficient communication so we can talk with Shield, _ Steve heard from Natasha.

 

It wasn’t funny.  It really wasn’t. But suddenly, he, Clint, and Sam were all howling with laughter.  The stress of the day seemed to catch up with them all at once, and they all let it out.  Steve had to support himself on the van as his knees gave way, Sam had his hands on his knees as he hooted, and Clint was crying, wiping his eyes only to start up again.

 

“Romanoff, what did you do to them?” Fury asked.

 

Natasha was already smiling, but it widened innocently as she said, “Nothing.  Just gave them a tip for next time.”

 

Fury huffed as the boys started to get themselves under control.  “I see you recovered the boys, so I guess this wasn’t a total waste of our time.  I want to hear exactly what happened in the morning. Potts!”

 

Pepper appeared at his side in her pajamas.  “Yessir.”

 

“Get these two to their beds.  They need it. Same goes to all of you,” he said, pointing at Steve and the others.  “Patch yourselves up. Get some rest. I’ve got another tip already. I’ll tell you about in the morning.”

  
Steve opened his mouth to protest, but Fury glared at him and said again, “ _ In the morning _ , Rogers. Good night.”


	17. Chapter 17

Steve was honestly shocked it took five missions for the Red Room to send someone after them.

 

He had been surprised, once Fury got the word out about what they were doing, how quickly people responded.  They went on another mission a day after their second, and from then on usually had two missions a week. They kept having run-ins with bounty hunters, though some missions went more smoothly than others.

 

It was the third week and their ninth mission.  Steve, Sam, and Thor were heading towards the house where the hidden kids were staying, watching each others’ backs.

 

_ Get down! _ Natasha shouted into their heads.

 

They just hit the ground when bullets cut through the air right where their heads had been.

 

_ He’s to your right, ten o’clock.  Keep on the move, I think this is Falsworth. _

 

The sharpshooter.  They definitely needed to apprehend him as quickly as possible, so no one got hurt.

 

“Thor, you go to the house and get the kids.  Keep them in there until Natasha gives you a signal.  Sam, you come with me and flank him. I’ll draw his fire,” Steve said, relaying what he was saying to Natasha at the same time mentally.

 

He caught her disapproval at the end of the plan, and Sam and Thor’s faces mirrored it, but they didn’t have time to argue because more bullets filled the air around them.

 

Dodging, Steve ran zig-zagged towards where Natasha showed him the attacker was.  As he got closer, he saw the man standing there, gun raised.

 

He couldn’t be much older than Steve.  His black hair came down to his ears, roughly cut and greasy from lack of washing.  The beginnings of a mustache were growing on his top lip. His eyebrows were lowered in a look of concentration, but when Steve saw his eyes, they had a blank look to them.  

 

The man continued to fire at Steve as he approached and it was only years of running into fights and dodging hits that kept Steve from taking a bullet.  Well, his extra strength helped too, letting him push himself in a zig-zag, constantly advancing on the sharpshooter.

 

As Steve got closer, the man holstered his weapon and took out two sets of brass knuckles.  Steve hadn’t been really expecting that, but he thought vaguely as he focused on the fight that was about to come, that he should have listened to Dum Dum when he said though they had all had specialties, all the agents had all been trained in hand to hand combat by the Red Room.

 

Steve had never fought someone with brass knuckles, which was a bit of shock, given how many fights he had been in.  He should have suspected metal would hurt more than flesh, but the first hit he took was surprisingly painful. It would have been worse if the man he was fighting was a Blue; it probably would have shattered his arm.  As it was, it just hurt.

 

He was pleased to find his fighting had improved since fighting Dum Dum.  Either that, or Falsworth, or whoever this was, wasn’t as skilled in hand to hand as the former Red Room agent.

 

_ Steve, you’re gonna want to corral him under here _ , Natasha said, projecting an image of a tree about ten feet behind them.

 

_ Easier thought than done _ , Steve replied, but started to push a little hard with his blows, so the agent staggered back until they were next to the tree.

 

_ Get out of the way! _ he heard Natasha command.

 

Steve was in the middle of being hit in the gut and took the opportunity to fall to the ground and roll away from the fight.  He almost missed seeing Sam descend from the tree above them to crash into the agent, knocking him unconscious. How Sam got up in the tree, Steve didn’t know.  But he was glad that fight was over. At one point, the agent had hit his forearm which had already been hurt from a mission last week. He could feel the bruise grow larger as it throbbed.

 

Sam stood up slowly, sporting more than a few aches of his own.  He had come with Steve on every mission so far and there hadn’t been much time in between for either of them to heal up.

 

_ Thor is evacuating the kids.  Get back to the van with the agent,  _ he heard Natasha say.

 

_ On our way _ , Steve sent back.

 

He groaned as he got to his feet, slowly making his way towards Sam and the unconscious agent.

 

“You alright?” he asked Sam.

 

“I need a new set of legs.  These ones hurt too bad.”

 

Steve huffed out a laugh, then reached down to grab one of the agent’s arms.  Sam took the other side and they heaved him between them, dragging him along as they walked back to where the others were waiting.

 

The kids were already in the van but Thor, Natasha, and Coulson were outside still.  Thor took the agent from him and slung him over his shoulder easily. Steve would have been able to do that if he didn’t have a healing bruise on one shoulder and a recovering collarbone on the other.  

 

It had been a rough couple of weeks.

 

Coulson got into the driver’s seat but Natasha stayed outside.  She didn’t have a single bruise on her, because it was decided as a group that her skills as reconnaissance were too valuable to risk by having her in the fight.  Steve knew she wasn’t happy about the decision though.

 

Now, as she looked them over and took in their bruises and weariness, she sighed.  “Come on, I’ll help you guys sleep on the way back.”

 

“I’m so ready,” Sam said, pulling himself into the back of the van.

 

Steve sent a wave of gratitude and regret to Natasha as he followed.  She returned with exasperation and annoyance.

 

_ I know you want to fight, but we need you to be our eyes _ , he said mentally to her.

 

She sent back the feeling of frustration she felt when she detected danger on the field and couldn’t be next to them to watch their backs.  She was more irritated about this than Steve had thought.

 

_ You do watch our backs.  Just from far away _ , Steve argued.

 

Natasha rolled her eyes.

 

_ Sorry.  I know- _

 

_ Do you, Steve?  Do you know what I’m feeling? _ she shot back.  He suddenly had images and memories in his head of being fitted for a muzzle, being taken to the Red Room, seeing the fear in the boys’ faces as she and the other Reds erased who they were and made them into weapons…

 

He saw Bucky’s face.  He looked drawn and tired, but more muscular than the last time Steve had seen him.  He watched as the fighting glint in his eyes dimmed and only blankness remained. There was a metallic glint coming from his side and Steve focused in on it just as the image was ripped away.

 

“Steve?  Steve?! Don’t do this to me, Steve.  I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

 

“C’mon, Steve, deep breaths.”

 

“Whatever demons plague your thoughts, Steve, they are not really there.  You are stronger than them. They are not real.”

 

But they were real.  Steve had seen it, had seen Bucky lose himself in Natasha’s mind, in her memory, so it’d happened, that had happened to Bucky and it was hard to breathe, he couldn’t breathe.  It was like when he was about to die but Bucky wasn’t here to save him this time.

 

“ _ STEVE _ !” And his head was filled with memories again, but not his own or Natasha’s.  He saw through someone else’s eyes as Bucky shoved food in his face, eating as fast as he could one-handed, his other arm in a sling.

 

“You need a hand with that, buddy?” the person’s whose memory this was said, and Steve realized it was Dum Dum.  Natasha was showing Steve Dum Dum’s memories from his time in the Red Room so Steve could see Bucky.

 

“Nah,” Bucky said, his mouth full, “knowing you, you’d just steal the food right out from under me.”

 

“Never!” Dum Dum said indignantly, but ruined his protest by laughing.  “Can ya blame me? Imma growing guy and they feed us this shit.”

 

Bucky laughed.  “No shit. Stevie used to…”

 

There were groans from around the table as people who weren’t even part of their conversation heard “Stevie.”

 

“Can you not talk about your boyfriend at the table, Barnes?  I wanna keep my meal down,” a black teenager down the table said, rolling his eyes.

 

“Not my boyfriend,” Bucky muttered, looking down at the table.

 

This was met with raucous laughter. 

 

“Tell that to Rogers!” one guy yelled down the table and with a start, Steve recognized Falsworth.

 

“Yeah, yeah, shut your traps, assholes,” Bucky said to the table at large.  It took a good minute of glaring to make the last of the giggles die down, but soon there was silence again.

 

“So like I was saying, Steve one time...”

 

“Ughhhhh…” said what seemed the entire room as Bucky broke into the story how Steve had once eaten all of Bucky’s chicken nuggets from right under his nose, without Bucky noticing until they were all gone.

 

Natasha paused the memory on Bucky’s face as he smiled, telling the other guys about Steve.

 

Steve opened his eyes.  He could breathe again.

 

Natasha, Sam, and Thor were huddled around Steve on the floor of the van.  Steve didn’t remember getting there. He remembered talking mentally with Nat, then the memories, and then…

 

Bucky.

 

“I’m so sorry, Steve.  I shouldn’t have done that.  I wanted to show you why I wanted to help and I hurt you instead,” Natasha said, curling into herself.

 

Steve looked at her, then away.  He couldn’t make himself speak.  Didn’t want to open his mind to comfort her.  Then she would be able to see how badly he was hurting.

 

“It’s going to be ok, Steve.  We’re going to save him,” Sam said bracingly.

 

“We will not leave your loved one in that horrid place, Steve.  We will save him and his brothers in arms,” Thor boomed quietly, putting a reassuring hand on Steve’s shoulder.

 

They helped him back onto his seat and strapped him in, Natasha throwing worried glances at him as they headed out.  He kept his mind closed off, all windows and doors sealed to any probing minds.

 

Once they had gotten back to camp, got the children they’d rescued settled, and had Falsworth go off with Loki, Steve began to walk to where Dum Dum was staying.

 

“Steve?” he heard Sam say behind him, but he kept going.

 

Natasha questioned him in his mind as well, but he ignored her.

 

Both followed him as he knocked and then went into Dum Dum’s cabin.

 

“How’d the mission go?” Dum Dum asked, looking up from the book he had been reading.  Any other time, Steve would have thought that a good sign, would have taken that as a good omen if Bucky were to ever come here.

 

Now, he had more pressing issues on his mind.

 

“Natasha showed me the memory of when she brainwashed you in the Red Room,” Steve said, and even as he said it, he realized how tactless he was being, but he couldn’t bring himself to care.  He recalled the flash of metal at the end of the memory. He had replayed that moment in his mind ever since he had seen a glimpse of it.

 

He knew what it was now.

 

“You wanna tell me why Bucky had a metal arm?”


	18. Chapter 18

“Steve…” Dum Dum said, looking pained. “Don’t do this. Don’t torture yourself with this.”

“No. I have to know. What happened?” Steve demanded.

Natasha came up from behind Steve and put a hand on his shoulder.

“Look, Steve, it wasn’t your fault, okay? Bucky never blamed you, so I don’t wantcha to either.”

Steve felt himself grow cold. “What are you talking about?”

“The sick fucks that put it on him used it as an excuse, that’s all. It wasn’t anything you did. They just wanted to do it, and that’s how they justified it,” Dum Dum said, avoiding the question.

“Dum Dum. What. Happened,” Steve gritted out, teeth and fists clenched.

Dum Dum took a deep breath, looking at the floor, before he lifted his face to look at Steve resolutely. Natasha’s hand tightened on Steve’s shoulder before he even began talking.

“After you broke Bucky’s arm, it never healed quite right. It got a bit shattered. There were too many fragments. They didn’t have a use for a weapon that had a weakness, so they took it off. His arm, I mean.”

Steve was going to be sick.

“They gave him a new one, tapped into his spine so he can control it. Metal. Strong. Same mobility. They started keeping us under all the time right after he got it. I never got to talk to him about it.”

Running to the toilet in the corner, Steve threw up the little bit of food left in his stomach from this morning. He kept heaving even after it was gone.

It was getting hard to breathe again. 

He turned back to the others, wiping his mouth on his shirtsleeve. “Was he in pain?” he asked Natasha.

“Steve, I really don’t think-”

“What he in pain when you saw him?” Steve demanded, advancing on her.

Natasha swallowed hard. She kept her face purposefully blank as her eyes unfocused and she remembered what she had felt that day. 

“Yes,” she answered quietly. “His shoulder hurt and he was scared.”

“Steve, it wasn’t your fault,” Dum Dum said.

“Of course it was! I put him there! We were getting away but he was hurt and he needed help and I left him there with them. And they turned him in a killer. I could have gotten him to safety. I could have fought them. I could have tried to have gotten to him sooner. Hell, I could have died any of the countless times I was sick when I was little. I’d probably have done him a favor.”

“Steve, I don’t know if what I’m about to tell ya is gonna help or not. But you should know. If Bucky hadn’t known you were somewhere on the outside, he probably woulda been one of the ones who killed themselves. You kept him going. Even if he’s under all the time, has got a metal arm, and is killing people, that’s still the same Bucky who ranted and raved about you all the fucking time. Okay? He doesn’t blame you. So stop blaming yourself,” Dum Dum said.

“I hurt him,” Steve protested.

“And he thought that super strength was the most fitting power you coulda gotten. Said your muscles finally matched the rest of ya.”

“I put him there…”

Dum Dum shrugged. “You might have ended up in that situation anyway. Bucky told me about his ma, how she called ya both in. And who said running away was going to work? Ya mighta been caught anyways later on and you’d be in the same spot. Worse really, cause Bucky wouldn’ta gotten the medical attention he needed.”

“But-”

“Steve.” Dum Dum got up and walked over to him. It was the first time Steve had seen him standing since he got to Shield. “Bucky doesn’t hate ya. He loves ya. Take it as you will, but that guy loves ya, alright? So stop hating yourself because of him. Save him. Help him through all the shit inside his head. And on the other side, tell him how ya feel. Kay? It’ll be worth it in the end.”

“How do you know?”

“Cause I’m here. It might be hard to sleep and I have trouble being in my own head, but I’m still kicking. And if I were to see my family again, I wouldn’t blame them for what they did, leaving me for testing. They didn’t know. I still love them, despite all that.”

Steve’s throat was tight with unshed tears. He turned to Natasha, who had been watching silently beside Sam for a few minutes now.

“I’m sorry I shouted at you,” he said softly.

Natasha shook her head at him, exasperated. “Steve, you don’t have anything to apologize for. I was the one who started all of this. If I had kept my temper, you never would have needed to go through this.”

Steve shrugged. “I woulda found out about the arm at some point anyway, when I see him again.”

Sam smiled. “So you finally believe we can save your boy?”

Steve gave him a half smile back. He was gonna damn well try.


	19. Chapter 19

Tony finished the protective barrier for the camp about two months after they got the supplies for it.  Steve and the others postponed a mission for a day so they could help set up. Lots of the Blues did the heavy lifting, but the occasional Purple (Sam included) lent a hand.

 

They made a ring with triangular panels, each about four feet across and tall, around the entire camp.  Once all the wires were connected, the Reds in every group heard Tony yell “Get in the ring! I’m starting it up!” and relayed the message to the others.

 

There was a crackle of electricity as the power flowed from one panel to another.  Then the air around the panels got hazy and slowly the haze got bigger, connecting with the blur from the panels around them until there was a distorted dome surrounding the camp.

 

The whole camp came together that night for a bonfire, something they hadn’t been able to have before.  There were s’mores, hot dogs, and other foods, including vegetarian options. Steve was honestly impressed with how much was provided.

 

He turned to Pepper, who at this point had officially joined their group of family.  “Where does Shield get all this food? How isn’t it noticed that a whole campful of food goes to the middle of nowhere all the time?”

 

She smirked.  “We have a lot of anonymous donations from families we help, so we can pay for all of this.  There’s a small town about twenty miles away that has a public school. Jeb, the bald guy over there, works there in the cafeteria.  He orders the food with the schools and gets it to us.”

 

“But wouldn’t people get suspicious if a small school was getting twice the food it needs?”

 

She shrugged.  “He makes sure some of the food goes to charity as well, so no one notices when some extra falls off the truck every month.  No one really cares about what happens to a small town anyway, Steve. Trust me, I came from one.”

 

“What about the plumbing?  This is a pretty weird location to have toilets.”

 

“It used to be a campground, but it was abandoned.”

 

“What about-?”

 

“ _ Steve. _  It’s safe.  Fury was very careful to make sure that what he was doing couldn’t be traced when he started this camp.  I’ve been here for almost two years now. I know more than almost anyone else here,” Pepper said.

 

“Sorry.  I just feel like people are going to get complacent now we have the barrier,” Steve admitted.

 

“The thing is, Steve,” Pepper said as she flinched as someone on the other side of the fire shouted, “I can’t be complacent.”

 

Steve ducked his head.  “Sorry.”

 

“What we talking about?” Tony asked, cutting in between them.

 

“Steve was just expressing his concern that the camp might not still be safe even with your barrier,” Pepper said, raising an eyebrow at him.

 

Tony put a hand on his chest theatrically.  “I’m wounded, Rogers. Really. But I wouldn’t worry too much.  It has sensors around the entire perimeter and covers our butts from the sky as well.”

 

Tony tried to casually put his arm around Pepper as he spoke, only to find nothing but air there.  Pepper smiled from where she was now standing on the other side of Steve as Tony pouted.

 

He rallied almost immediately.  “So Stevie Wonder, I was wondering if I could finally come on a mission with you now I have some free time.  I came up with this gauntlet type blaster last week when I was waiting for the panels’ system to upload, want to give them a try.”

 

“Sure,” Steve said, not wanting to know just how little time it took for Tony to create the gauntlets.  He had a feeling it would make him feel inferior. “We have a mission tomorrow. Wheels up at 7.”

 

“I hate to sound like Clint, but I’m gonna need coffee.”

 

Seeing as the few times Clint had gone along on missions had started with a bleary-eyed Clint bringing a whole thermos of coffee with him, Steve understood.  He didn’t have all that much trouble with the early mornings, taking short naps as they went to wherever Coulson was driving them this time and then usually sleeping all the way back.  He tended to need Natasha’s help with that, because of whatever fresh injury he had that time.

 

He shouldn’t complain, though.  He had been on at least twenty missions so far.  He had saved Dum Dum, Falsworth, and, just last week, Morita, another Red Room agent. As he looked around the bonfire, he saw a lot of the kids he had saved.

 

Wait.

 

Is that…?

 

“Guys… is that Dum Dum?” Steve asked, looking across the flames.

 

Pepper and Tony turned to squint in the same direction as Steve.

 

“It is!” Pepper said, beaming.  “He finally came out of his room!”

 

“Who is that with him?” Tony asked.

 

Steve looked closer, trying to see through the fire.  It was one of the kids they had saved about a week and a half back, a sixteen-year-old girl with curly red hair… just like Dum Dum’s.

 

“You guys… I think that’s his sister,” Steve said.  As he watched, the two hugged. Both of their shoulders were shaking, as if they were crying.

 

“Ohhhh…” Pepper said.  

 

Steve realized she could probably hear what was happening over there.  He looked at Pepper only to see tears falling down her cheeks.

 

“Shit, Peps, you okay?” Tony asked, coming around Steve to put an arm around her.  This time, she let him.

 

She sniffed, wiping her eyes.  “Yeah. I just… I’ve seen a lot of families reunited here.  But it always gets me. It reminds me why I do this.”

 

“Yeah…” Steve said, watching as Dum Dum and his sister walked off towards his room, probably to catch up on the last two years of being apart.

 

Two years.  It had been almost two years since Steve had seen Bucky.  A lot had changed since then, for both of them. Steve didn’t even know if Bucky would recognize him now, with all the growing he did at Hydra.  Would Steve recognize Bucky? 

 

_ Always _ , a little voice in his head said.

 

“Are you alright?” Pepper asked.  

 

Steve inhaled sharply as he came out of his thoughts.  “Yeah. Just a bit tired. I think I’ll call it a night, so I’m ready for tomorrow.”

 

“Can’t wait,” Tony said unenthusiastically.  

 

“I should go make sure everything is ready for the morning,” Pepper said, slipping out from under Tony’s arm and walking away.

 

Steve smiled at Tony as he watched her go.

 

When he noticed, Tony squinted at him.  “What?”

 

“Nothing.  Just… I hope things work out for you two.”

 

“I’ll get her to come around eventually,” Tony said confidently, before his shoulders slumped slightly and Steve saw a glimpse of something he usually didn’t see in Tony: doubt.  “I hope…”

 

Steve laughed.  “Good luck with that.  I’ll see you in the morning.”

 

“Bright and way too early.”


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Clint.

The third time Tony yawned the next morning, Clint shoved his thermos of coffee at him.  Steve didn’t know where Clint had gotten it, but he would bet that Clint had sweet-talked the people in charge of the cafeteria to help him out.  

 

Steve, Natasha, and Sam were much more awake as they waited for Coulson to come with the van, shivering slightly in the early morning air.  Once Coulson pulled up, Tony and Clint crawled into the far back and immediately began to doze against each other.

 

“You’re going to want to wake up for this, you two,” Coulson said, pulling out a thin box.  

 

“Wazzat?” Clint grunted.

 

Coulson grinned.  “Donuts.”

 

“OH MY GOD,” Clint shouted, leaping over the two rows of seats in between him and the box and grabbing one in each hand.  He kissed each before he shoved one into his mouth whole.

 

Coulson’s eyes were crinkled with a grin as he turned to look at the others.  “I got a dozen so there’s enough for everyone to have two, and I’ll take the ones that are left.”

 

“Thank you, Coulson,” Steve said, looking at the donuts in wonder.  It had been over a year since he had been able to eat anything like this.

 

“‘anks, ‘oulson,” Clint said through his full mouth.

 

“Clint,” Natasha said, giving him an unimpressed look.

 

He swallowed.  “Thank you, Coulson.”

 

“Clint, bring me back mine.  I don’t wanna move,” Tony called from the back.

 

Clint grabbed Tony’s and settled in the back of the van once again.  Steve motion for Natasha and Sam to grab what donuts they wanted and waited until they were done to choose his own.

 

Then they got underway on a new mission.

 

Coulson had gone with them on every mission so far.  He was the one who drove them there and back and protected Natasha as she swept the area and watched out for the people in the field.  While she repeatedly insisted she could take care of herself, Coulson had pulled her out of a tight spot once when they had been up against some bounty hunters.  Fire extinguishers apparently make excellent blunt force weapons.

 

“Coullllllllsonnnnn, he’s so awwwwwesome.  He brings me donnnuts in the morrrrrrrring,” Clint sang, half asleep with another donut to go.

 

“Oh my god, shut up,” Sam said, twisting in his seat to shove the donut in Clint’s mouth to silence him.

 

As soon as he finished chewing, Clint passed out.  The other teens in the van followed suit throughout the trip.

 

Steve closed his eyes for a while too.  His dreams were troubled, remembering the mission last week when they had captured Morita, another Red and one of Bucky and Dum Dum’s friends.  He hadn’t gone down without a fight, and Sam was still recovering from being stabbed in the leg. His agility had been the only thing to stop Morita from severing his femoral artery.  If it had been anyone else, they probably would have died.

 

Steve didn’t want anyone else to die because of him.

 

“We’re here,” Coulson announced, waking Steve and the others as he parked.  “Sam, you stay here with me and Natasha. I don’t want you irritating that leg yet.”

 

Sam looked like he was going to argue, but Tony cut in, “Don’t worry, Sam.  I’ll watch their backs.”

 

“Yeah, that makes me feel loads better…” Sam said, crossing his arms.

 

Tony didn’t help his case by putting on his gauntlets right then.  He probably hoped to impress the others, but they were clunky and made out of scrap metal.  They didn’t inspire much confidence.

 

“Clint, Tony, and Steve, you go in and get the kid.  The dad has been hiding him in the storm shelter since he changed.  He thinks his son is a Red, so that isn’t a good place for him. Go in, get him out, and report back here.  You know the drill.”

 

“Actually, I don’t, so this’ll be fun,” Tony said, tightening down a screw.  The wrist of the gauntlet he was tightening clamped down on his wrist and he winced, quickly screwing the other way.  “Still working out the kinks...”

 

“You ready, Tin Man?” Clint asked, taking out one of the guns that had been issued to everyone after their disastrous second mission.  He was the best at handling them, even if he didn’t like guns much.

 

Steve grabbed another as Tony nodded, putting away his tools.

 

“Good luck guys,” Sam said.  Steve noticed Sam’s arms were tight around his chest, like he wasn’t crossing them anymore, but holding himself together.

 

Putting a hand on Sam’s shoulder, Steve said, “It’ll be ok.  We’ll have each others’ backs.”

 

The tension left Sam’s stance, but not entirely.  Steve got the sense Sam wouldn’t relax until they were all back safely in the van with the kid in tow.  This would be the first mission since they had started that Sam wouldn’t be with Steve. Steve was sure he was anxious about not being able to come with.

 

They went to a farmhouse this time.  Coulson parked in the trees on the edge of the property to give them some cover, but that meant Steve, Tony, and Clint had to hike across a small field to get to the farmhouse.

 

Steve felt an itchy sensation on the back of his neck.  Like he had forgotten to do something. Like he was missing something.

 

_ Natasha, how’s our perimeter? _ he projected.

 

_ Clear.  I don’t sense anything. _

 

But even with her assurance, he felt uneasy as they approached the house.  Clint knocked on the front door, then stood back and waited.

 

The door opened and a barrel of a shotgun stuck out.

 

“Whoa!  What the heck, dude?!  We’re on your side!” Clint said, putting up his hands.

 

_ Sorry, Steve.  I didn’t register him as a threat _ , Natasha told him.

 

_ I don’t think he is.  Gimme a sec _ , Steve replied.  

 

The man behind the gun didn’t lower it as he looked at each of the boys in turn.  “Can’t be too careful. Heard cars going down the road earlier today. Haven’t heard anyone round these parts in months.  Needed to make sure you weren’t gonna hurt my boy.”

 

“No, sir, we’re here to help him,” Steve said, moving in front of his friends.

 

_ Check the perimeter again.  Something isn’t right here _ .

 

_ On it. _

 

“You Shield?” the man asked.

 

“Yessir.”

 

“How can I tell?”

 

“Cause we’re teenagers and we’re not trying to kill you?” Tony suggested from behind Steve.

 

The man nodded.  Finally lowering the gun, he tipped his head.  “Come on in. My boy is out back.”

 

He led them through the house.  Steve kept a watch on him, making sure he wouldn’t hurt him or his friends.  He had yet to put down the gun. Tony and Clint were looking around the house, though Steve didn’t know if it was out of curiosity or precaution.

 

They walked out the back door and were led about twenty feet away from the house where, if Steve looked closely, he could see a door handle sticking out of the ground.

 

Pulling it up and open, the man called down, “Lee, get on up here.”

 

There was a scuffle down below, then the sound of approaching footsteps, and then a boy, had to be around fourteen years old, with the same greasy, brown hair as his father stepped into the light.  His eyes were shut, probably trying to adjust to the sunlight after being in total darkness. 

 

“These boys are gonna get you away.  Someplace safe. You understand?” the dad asked.

 

The son, Lee, flinched at the sudden noise of his dad’s voice, but nodded.  Slowly, he opened his eyes and took in the people before him.

 

Steve wondered how overwhelmed the boy felt, suddenly being around four people, in the open.  He couldn’t imagine all the things he must be feeling from his surroundings.

 

“Alright, we should get out of the open and to the van as soon as poss-” Steve started, still feeling uneasy, when the back of Lee’s dad’s head exploded and he fell to the ground.  Steve was diving for Lee before he fully realized what was happening, screaming “Get down!” to Clint and Tony.

 

Clint and Tony ducked behind the door of the storm shelter, a bullet pinging off the metal as they disappeared.  Clint must have made the angle calculations from where the bullets were coming from, because he shouted, “Shooter is over to our seven o’clock.  Maybe a mile and a half away. Tasha, we need them distracted to get back to the van.”

 

_ That’s a bit far for me, but I’m on it _ , she said to all of them.

 

Because the connection was still open between all of their minds, they felt the moment that Natasha entered the shooter’s mind.  A wave of horror came through the mental channel.

 

_ Steve… The shooter…  It’s Bucky. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun dun DUNNNNNN. Things are about to kick off!


	21. Chapter 21

_ It’s Bucky. _

 

Steve felt his heart stop.   _ Are you sure? _

 

Natasha sent back a wave of exasperation that was pretty convincing.

 

_ He’s not alone.  He has three handlers with him.  The Red Room is trying to keep their sniper safe. _

 

“We need to draw them out.  Make them follow us and then engage,” Steve said aloud so Tony and Clint could hear him as well.

 

“Yeah, without getting shot by your boy-”

 

“ _ He is not my boyfriend! _ ” Steve shouted at Tony.

 

“Whatever!”

 

“Ok, the count of three, we all run for the van.  Dodge and weave. Natasha, I need you to get into the heads of Bucky’s handlers and distract them.  Try to get them to distract Bucky too, so we don’t get shot, but do not break his conditioning. I want to wait until we’re at camp, so we can keep him safe from himself. Have the van ready.  We need to get out of here quickly.”

 

_ Roger, Rogers _ .

 

“Why is everyone cracking jokes in a near death situation?!” Steve said exasperatedly as he crouched behind the knoll that was giving him and Lee cover.

 

Steve turned to Lee, who looked more disoriented than ever.  “I need you to get ready to run, okay? There are some bad people after us, and we need to get away from them.  We’ll keep you safe. I promise.”

 

The boy nodded.  

 

“Okay… One… Two… Three!”  

 

Steve and the others jumped out of hiding and began to run back towards the van, dodging left and right as they went to avoid any bullets.  Lee lagged behind Steve, even as he pulled him along, so Steve picked him up and tried to protect him with his body as he ran. He got to the treeline first, his strength giving his legs extra power to propel himself forward.  Sam was waiting there. Steve handed off the boy to him and turned to see how close Tony and Clint were.

 

They still had a fourth of the field to go.  As he watched, Tony turned one of his gauntlets behind him and blew it into the ground, making dirt spray into the air, giving them some cover.  

 

Tony and Clint were almost to the treeline when Clint tripped.  Before Sam could stop him, Steve darted out of cover and stood between Clint and where he thought Bucky would be.  

 

Hands raised, looking to where his heart told him to, he said, “Bucky, please don’t.”

 

He prepared himself for a bullet, waiting for it to pierce through his chest.  Maybe his head.

 

But it didn’t come.

 

“Come on, we gotta move!” Clint said, grabbing Steve’s shoulder and dragging him to the safety of the trees.

 

Coulson was already behind the wheel when they got to the van, Natasha in the passenger seat.  Sam situated the kid in the far back, making sure he was buckled before saying, “Go, go, go!” Clint barely got the door closed behind him before Coulson was moving.

 

“They’re following us.  They want to capture the Red.  Want another one to add to their collection,” Natasha said, her eyes unfocused.  “Oops, that guy just ran into a tree. My bad. The last two agents are getting Bucky in a van.  They’re following us.”

 

Steve was glad for Natasha’s commentary or else the silence would kill him with suspense.  As it was, he was on the edge of the seat, staring out the window, waiting to see Bucky.

 

“Here they come.”

 

They had just burst onto the open highway when another black van appeared about 200 feet behind them.

 

Sam said to Lee, “I need you to keep your head down okay?  Don’t peek. Just stay down.”

 

He nodded.  Steve noticed his vacant eyes and wondered if it was possible to get overwhelmed from all the things Reds sensed.  He had never asked Pepper or the others.

 

Turning to the front of the van, Sam said, “They’re gaining on us!”

 

“I’m trying,” Coulson said, hands gripping the wheel tightly.

 

“What is he doing?” Natasha asked suddenly.  She wasn’t looking at any of them, but staring off into the distance.

 

Steve turned back to the enemy van just as a loud clunk came from the roof.  Almost as if… someone had just landed on top of it.

 

Natasha’s eyes widened.  “Everybody hang on!” she shouted as an arm descended from the roof and plucked the steering wheel right out of Coulson’s hands.

 

Without a way to control the van, Coulson just hit the brakes and hoped for the best.  That would have worked, too, if the other van hadn’t slammed into them from behind, causing them to spin out.  One of their tires caught on the side of the road and suddenly, they were airborne.

 

Steve’s last thought before they hit the pavement the first time was that he hoped Bucky had gotten off their van before they started rolling.

 

The crash seemed to happen in slow motion.  Steve watched as the pavement came up to meet them, then disappeared, only to reappear as they rolled over and over.

 

He must have momentarily blacked out because he didn’t remember the van stopping.  He opened his eyes and saw the metal of the van door and pavement.

 

Looking around, he saw the others hanging from their seat belts.  All except…

 

“Tony?  Clint?” he croaked.

 

He couldn’t see them anywhere.

 

Coulson, Natasha, Sam, and Lee had all been buckled.  Steve, Clint, and Tony were not. Once they were rolling, there was no way Tony and Clint could keep ahold of anything, not without super strength.  

 

Unclenching his hands from the door, where there were now dents from his grip, Steve pushed his way to his feet.  After checking to see that everyone in the van was breathing and only minorly hurt, he crawled out the shattered front window and looked around.  There was a trail of glass and metal leading to where their van lay. About twenty feet back, he saw a figure on the ground.

 

Not thinking about the Red Room agents or Bucky, he sprinted to whoever was lying there.  As he approached, he saw it was Clint. His face was bloody, his arm was torn up with road burn, and his right lower leg was swollen to almost twice its usual size.

 

But he was breathing.  It was shallow, but there.

 

Where was Tony?

 

“Looking for your friend?” he heard a voice asked.  “He’s right here.”

 

Steve turned to see a bruised Tony being held by the two Red Room agents.  

 

“Have to say, Rogers,” Tony said, his voice scratchy, “I would like your boyfriend a lot more if he wasn’t about to shoot me.”

 

Standing behind Tony, gun pointed at Tony’s head, was Bucky.

 

Steve drank in the sight of him.  He had the same eyes and hair color, though his hair was longer than Steve had ever seen it.  It hung greasy and unkempt around his face, which had thinned and matured in the two years they had been apart.  There were patches of hair on his cheeks and chin. He wore a long sleeve jacket, covering most of his metal arm.  His metal hand rested at his side. His flesh one was holding the gun.

 

“Bucky,” Steve said, slowly standing from where he had been crouched next to Clint.  “Don’t shoot him.”

 

Bucky’s eyes were vacant, even more so than Lee’s when he got overwhelmed, as he looked at Steve.  There was no sign of his best friend in his gaze.

 

“Who the hell is Bucky?”


	22. Chapter 22

“Bucky.  You don’t want to do this,” Steve said, hands up.

 

“Yeah, I don’t think reasoning with him is gonna work,” Tony said.  “You know, given the whole brainwashing thing.”

 

“Shut up!” one of the agents barked, twisting Tony’s arm a little further.

 

Grimacing, Tony continued anyway, “Maybe it would have been a good plan to have some backup before you took on the baddies, huh Steve?”

 

“Well, it wasn’t like they were my priority at the time!”

 

Tony smirked, blood between his teeth.  “Aw, you do care.”

 

“Tony, stop talking!”

 

_ Keep stalling _ , he heard Natasha faintly.   _ I’m trying to get out _ .

 

_ Be safe _ , he thought back.

 

_ Aw, you do care _ , Natasha echoed.

 

_ Stop joking around!  This is serious! _

 

_ I know, Rogers.  Be there soon. Just hang on. _

 

“Bucky.  Listen to me.  You don’t wanna do this.  Your name is James Buchanan Barnes.  You’re from Brooklyn. Your ma’s name is Winifred.  Your dad’s name was George. Your little sister is Becca.  She turns three in a few months. Do you remember them?” Steve asked, stepping over Clint’s body to get closer to Bucky, hands raised.

 

Bucky didn’t even blink. 

 

Steve swallowed.  “Do you remember me?” he asked hesitantly.  “I’m Steve. Steve Rogers. I’m… I’m Stevie.  Do you remember? We… we grew up together. We lived together after my ma died.  Sarah Rogers? Do you remember her? She would patch us up every time we came home bleeding or bruised.  Give us a hell of a talking to at the same time.”

 

“Shut up!” one of the agents barked, moving to point his gun at Steve instead of Tony.

 

Steve ignored him and the gun.  “We got in so many scraps together, Buck.  We had each other’s backs. Always. Don’t you remember?”

 

Bucky hadn’t moved the entire time Steve had spoken.  He was still pointing his gun at Tony’s head. But the older agents were looking nervous.  Steve kept his hands raised, not looking at them. He kept his eyes on Bucky.

 

“When we got our powers, your ma called us in.  I hurt… I hurt you. I’m so sorry, Buck. I’m so sorry.  You wanted to stay together, wanted to run, and I left you with them.  But Buck, if I could go back to that moment, I don’t know what I would change.  You might not have kissed me if I hadn’t decided to turn us in and I don’t regret-” his voice faltered as a piercing pain went through his abdomen.

 

The agent who had been pointing a gun at him had fired.  Steve brought his hands up to try to stop the flow of blood from his stomach, but there was too much.  He had the sudden image of Erskine, tipping over slowly with his hands coming up to try to staunch the bleeding from his chest.

 

_ At least it was me _ … he thought.

 

“Steve!” Tony shouted, struggling against the hold of the agents.

 

_ Steve!  Hold on, I’m coming! _ Natasha thought urgently.

 

Steve’s knees gave way.  Clutching his stomach, he coughed, making the pain spike.  Blood filled his mouth. The pain was worse than anything he had felt.  It hurt to breathe, but differently than when he had asthma attacks or pneumonia.  But the same darkness was closing in as when he couldn’t breathe as a kid before Bucky had saved him.  This time though, even though Bucky stood a few feet away, he wouldn’t help Steve.

 

“Bucky…” he gasped out, looking at the blurred figure behind the agents and Tony.  “I’m sorry this is the end of the line.”

 

He fell forward, gasping in pain as his hands came in contact with the pavement, jolting his wound.  He twisted onto his side, curling into a ball, but couldn’t hide from the pain. It was bright and sharp, making figures dance behind his eyelids as he whimpered.

 

There was a burst of noise that he couldn’t separate.  There were more gunshots, some cries of pain, and what might have been one of Tony’s gauntlet’s going off.

 

Someone turned him on his back.  Steve blinked up at the sky. There was a figure closer than the deep blue out there, but he couldn’t focus on them.  The pain somehow got even worse.

  
The last thing he heard before he lost consciousness was a deep, scratchy,  _ familiar _ voice saying, “ _ Steve. _ ”


	23. Chapter 23

He woke to the sound of a monitor beeping out the beats of his heart.  For a moment, he thought his ma would be there. She had been at his side so many times when he had wound up in the hospital as a kid, he cracked his eyes open expecting to see her.

 

Blinking a few times to adjust to the sudden light of the room, he saw, not Sarah Rogers, but Natasha.  She was sitting in between him and the other bed in the room, curled up like a cat in her chair. Looking at the other occupant, he saw Clint passed out, a leg wrapped and elevated, an arm laying across his chest covered in gauze, his face half hidden with bandages.

 

“Nat…” he tried to say, but realized just how dry his throat was as he spoke.

 

_Natasha_ , he thought instead.

 

Her eyes opened instantly and after a moment, she unfurled from her chair to look at him.  “How are you feeling?” she asked, rubbing one of her eyes.

 

_Thirsty.  Water?_

 

“Of course.  One sec.” She got up and filled a glass from a pitcher he hadn’t noticed before.

 

Steve took a long drink before asking, “What happened?  Where are we?”

 

She hesitated, putting his cup down on the table at the end of his bed before she answered.  “You guys were too badly injured to take back to camp. We wouldn’t have been able to save you or fix Clint at Shield.  So… we took you to a hospital in this closest city. I stayed to look after you guys and… well, I’ve been controlling about half the hospital for about five days now.  I don’t want anyone to talk about us being here. I’ll wipe them when we leave.”

 

Steve stared at her.  He knew she had the ability to control people without speaking, which takes a powerful Orange to do.  But to control so many people at once? Natasha continued to flabbergast him.

 

He let what he was feeling through his defenses.

 

“Oh, please.  You sound like Clint,” Natasha scoffed, though she was smiling.

 

“Has he been awake yet?”  Steve asked.

 

“A couple of times, yeah.  He’s pretty beat up, though, so it’s good for him to sleep.”

 

Steve looked over at Clint, taking in all of the bandaging.  “What’s all wrong with him?”

 

“He’s got bruising on his left leg that goes down to the bone, a torn up arm and face, and a chronic case of stupidity.  Fortunately, most of those are fixable.”

 

Steve laughed and then gasped.  The pain through his middle wasn’t as sharp as when he had been shot, but the prominent ache of his abdomen still made it hard to breathe.

 

Natasha continued though Steve hadn’t asked, “You, like the idiot you are, got shot.  It was close, Steve. The agent just nicked your stomach, but the doctors were still worried about infection.  A few inches higher and he might have hit your heart.”

 

“But he didn’t,” Steve gasped out, trying to control his breathing through the pain.

 

“No, he didn’t.  And you can thank your boyfriend he didn’t get in another shot.”

 

Steve’s head snapped up from being curled into himself, staring at Natasha.  “What do you mean?”

 

Natasha sighed.  “It’d probably be easier to just show you.  May I?”

 

Steve let her in.

 

In the memory, he saw himself.  His back was to Natasha, his hands were up.  The gun went off. Steve felt Natasha’s cold fear, her blazing fury as she watched him crumple.

 

_“I’m sorry this is the end of the line,_ ” she heard Steve say, then watched him fall forward only to lie still.

 

Bucky stood there, frozen, as Natasha rushed forward, kicking the gun out of the agent’s hands and hitting him in the solar plexus.  The man staggered back, wheezing. Tony was taking on the other man, and shot his gauntlet off at him, sending him flying through the air.  But the agent Natasha had been fighting knelt down and picked up the gun his colleague had dropped before he went airborne.

 

Instead of pointing it at Natasha or Tony, he turned the gun to Steve.

 

“ _Stop or your friend dies,_ ” he said.

 

Both of Steve’s friends froze.  They looked from Steve’s prone form to the man who had shot him in the first place.

 

They both flinched when they heard a gunshot, staring horrified at Steve.

 

But the shot hadn’t come from the agent.  He slowly fell to the ground and Natasha and Tony turned to where the bullet had actually come from.

 

Bucky.

 

He staggered forward, dropping his gun to the ground as he approached Steve.  Bucky turned him, oh so gently, onto his back. He brushed his fingers softly down Steve’s cheek, then looked down at the wound.

 

He frantically shrugged out of his jacket and folded it into a ball.  Using it to apply pressure, Bucky looked back up at Steve’s face.

 

“ _Steve._ ”

 

Steve thought the memory would end there.  That’s when he had lost consciousness. But Natasha didn’t pull herself out of his mind yet.

 

“ _Steve.  Stevie. Oh my God.  No. **No.**_   _Steve.  I’m sorry.  I’m so sorry.  Open your eyes, Steve.  Come back to me, Steve. I’m here.  I’m back. I remember. Come on. Steve…_ ”  He started to sob.  “ ** _Steve_ **!”

 

Natasha looked over at Tony, who looked back, shocked.  He gestured towards Bucky, who was still applying pressure, though as his sobs got more and more forceful, the strength of his hands was slowly fading.

 

_Knock him out?  I need to check to see if that arm has a fail-safe,_  Tony sent to Natasha.  His brain wasn’t as closed off as Steve’s, making it easy for her to see all the different possibilities Bucky’s arm could hold: chemical weapons, small bombs, tracking devices, nerve ending malfunctions…

 

Mostly to get Tony to stop showing her all the different things that could go wrong, Natasha turned her attention to the distraught man kneeling next to Steve and commanded, “ _Sleep_.”

 

Bucky tipped over, lying next to Steve, curled around him.

 

“ _Well, at least you don’t have to break his brainwashing.  Steve did it instead,_ ” Tony said optimistically.  He knelt next to Bucky, pulling some gizmo out of his pants pocket.  He paused, then took out a screwdriver and undid his gauntlets.

 

“ _Hopefully, I won’t need these_.”

 

“ _Seeing as at least one of the agents is very dead, I don’t think you will.  I’ll go check on the others. Coulson will know what to do,_ ” Natasha said.

 

It was only as she was walking away from the scene that the present day Natasha pulled Steve out of the memory.

 

Steve’s cheeks were wet.  Wiping them, he smiled through the tears.

 

“You okay?” Natasha asked.

  
His smile widened.  “He _knew_ me.”


	24. Chapter 24

“Where’s Bucky now?” Steve asked.

 

“Back at Shield.  Tony needed to get a closer look at his arm.  He disconnected it from Bucky, so he wouldn’t hurt himself.”

 

“And… does he really remember me?” Steve continued hesitantly.

 

Natasha smiled.  “Yeah, Steve. He does.  You broke through his brainwashing.  But Steve… remember how hard it was for Dum Dum when he came out of his mind control?  This won’t be easy. You saw how broken up Bucky was when he came realized you were you.”

 

Steve nodded.  He didn’t care if he had to wait another two years or even an entire lifetime for Bucky to be okay again.  He would be there for Bucky until the end of the line.

 

“Are the others okay?  I checked on all of you before I went looking for Tony and Clint, but I didn’t see any major injuries,” Steve said.

 

“Bumps and bruises mostly.  Sam opened up his leg wound again, but that was easy to clean and sew up.  Lee is having trouble adjusting to camp. Being around so many people after being in isolation for so long isn’t good for him.  Pepper has been trying to help him learn how to block out information but it’s slow going. It probably doesn’t help his dad’s killer is a couple doors down from him…”

 

“Bucky didn’t know-”

 

“I know, Steve.  But try explaining that to a kid.  When I get back I’ll try to talk to him, maybe show him some of Bucky’s memories so it’s easier for him to understand what he went through.  That’ll have to wait until you guys are better.”

 

Steve shifted and winced.  “How long will that be?”

 

A scratchy voice emerged from Clint’s side of the room.  “What, you don’t wanna stay hooked up to a catheter much longer?  It’s so comfortable, I might get one for all the time.”

 

Natasha rolled her eyes as she looked over at Clint, who smiled back.  “This is your own fault, you know. If you had just been wearing a seatbelt-”

 

“Tasha.  I know. You already gave me this speech.  And as much as I try to get the numbers to connect for time travel, I can’t.  So that options out. I just gotta deal with this.”

 

He turned to Steve.  “How’re you doing?”

 

“Sore.  You?”

 

“Oh, I’m dandy.  They’ve got me on the good stuff,” Clint said with a smirk.  But it didn’t reach his eyes.

 

“As much as Barton loves peeing out of a tube, I’m not a huge fan, so how much longer am I gonna be hooked up to all this junk?” Steve asked Natasha.

 

“Doc said you could move around, in increments, in a few days.  If you wanna sit up, then you can use the buttons on the side.”

 

“Yeah, I know.  My ma had a bed like this.  So did I, a few times, come to think of it,” Steve said thoughtfully.  He slowly raised into a more upright position, careful to not let the pain he was feeling show on his face or bleed out into the open in his brain.

 

Natasha zoned out for a moment.  “Doc’s coming. Act nice.”

 

Steve was used to being poked and prodded by doctors from both his childhood and his time in Hydra.  This doctor had a somewhat glassy look in his eyes that Steve guessed was due to Natasha’s mind control.

 

Clint didn’t cooperate as well for his examination as Steve had, asking many questions, watching everything the doctor did, and refusing to rate his pain.  Finally, Natasha said, “His leg is a 6 and his arm’s a 3, so it’s manageable but he needs meds.”

 

Clint glared at her.  “Traitor.”

 

She shrugged.

 

The doc puttered around a little longer before he left the room again.  Steve noticed Natasha was a little paler once he was gone.

 

“Are you okay?” he asked.

 

“Yeah,” she said, sounding less than convincing.  “Just tired.”

 

Letting her lie slide, Steve turned to Clint.  “Are  _ you  _ okay?”

 

Clint grimaced.  “I don’t like hospitals.  Bad memories,” he said, rubbing his chest.  Steve recognized the gesture.

 

“Me too,” Steve said, thinking of his ma.  Hesitating, he finally asked, “Clint, what happened to your chest?”

 

Clint sighed and stared up at the ceiling.  “It’s not a fun story,” he warned.

 

“If you’re willing to tell it, I wanna know,” Steve replied.

 

Natasha nodded in agreement, watching Clint closely.  Looking between the two of them, Clint huffed out a breath.

 

“Alright.”  He paused, rubbing his chest one more time before letting his hand fall to the bed beside him.  “I had an older brother. Barney. He was all I had after a car accident killed our parents. A drunk driver hit us.  We were put in an orphanage afterward. Didn’t have anywhere else to go. When I was thirteen, we had a huge fight. Barney was feeling trapped there and he was gonna turn eighteen soon.  So he wanted to become my legal guardian and we’d leave and be happy somewhere else. That’s what he said, anyways. I wasn’t convinced. I was scared. I was trying to see all the angles, trying to see how we could live on our own, without a guaranteed roof over our heads, when he started pushing me around.  I think all the anger he had felt since our parents’ deaths came out right then. It was almost like once he started, he couldn’t stop.”

 

A tear fell down his cheek, but he didn’t seem to notice.

 

“I was down on the ground.  Couple ribs broken. Arm fractured in two places.  Concussion. Bruised to hell.”

 

He swallowed and blinked up at the ceiling, more tears falling.

 

“And then he pulled out a knife.  To this day, I don’t know where he got it.”

 

Natasha's hands were in white-knuckled fists in her lap.  Steve felt his eyes burn. With anger or with tears, he wasn’t sure.  A bit of both, probably.

 

“He stood over me and said, ‘If you’re not going to live with me, good luck living at all.’  And the knife came down. Right into my chest. The adults who ran the orphanage found me alone, lying in a pool of my own blood a few minutes later.  Took two surgeries to get me to stay alive. And Barney was gone,” Clint finished, finally wiping his eyes.

 

“Clint…” Natasha whispered.  The look in her eyes made Steve glad he wasn’t Barney.

 

Clint shrugged.  “They never found him.  Honestly, I’d be okay with never seeing him again.”

 

“Understandably so, yeah,” Steve said bracingly.

 

Clint sniffed and rubbed his eyes resolutely.  “So, now you know.”

 

“Thank you, Clint,” Natasha said quietly, still not taking her eyes off of him.  As if she could protect him just by never looking away. “Thank you for telling us.”

 

Clint nodded.  They all sat there, lost in thought or memories, until a nurse came in to take some notes.

 

Steve looked over to Clint once she left to see he was already asleep.  Telling them his story must have been emotionally exhausting, so Steve didn’t blame him.  “Well, seems like it’s nap time, huh?”

 

“You go ahead.  I’ll keep watch.”

 

“Nat, how often do you sleep?” Steve asked seriously.

 

She shrugged.  

 

“Natasha…”

 

She sighed.  “Whenever my body gives out, really.  I don’t want anyone to get through my mental field.  If someone breaks out of their brainwashing, then we’ll all be in trouble.”

 

“You need to take care of yourself.”

 

“Well, how about we make a deal?  You heal up as fast as you can and once we’re out of here, I’ll sleep more.  Win-win,” Natasha said with a smirk. Her face softens as she looks over at Clint and then back at Steve.  “You both need rest, Steve. I just want to keep you both safe.”

 

Steve let his exasperation through his mental barriers.   _ We want to keep you safe, too _ .

 

She smiled with the corner of her mouth.  “I know. Don’t worry. We’ll be out of here in a few days and then I’ll sleep for a week.”

 

Steve yawned, then lowered his bed so he was mostly lying down.  Now that he knew where they were and the danger that surrounded them, he didn’t think he would sleep all that deeply.  Plus, he didn’t want to leave Natasha to guard him and Clint alone.

 

_ Sleep, Steve.  I’ll be fine _ , he heard Natasha say in his mind.

 

Finally giving in to the weariness he felt, Steve closed his eyes and drifted.

 

Maybe it because he was in a hospital and the noises and smells brought back memories he usually kept repressed.  Maybe it was thinking about Bucky and how connected he was to Steve’s childhood. Or maybe it was because of Clint’s story of his brother.  Either way, Steve dreamt about his mother that night.

 

He saw her corpse again.  He shook her shoulders and called her name through his tears, trying to get her to open her eyes.  The doctors dragged him away and into a different memory. His mother was still there, alive, but weakened.  Her skin was thinner and her bones were more prominent. They were at their dining room table, a few months after she had gotten her diagnosis.

 

“ _ I’ve settled everything with child services.  Seeing as I don’t have any family left, you’ll go live with the Barnes’s.  They’re the closest thing to family we have, anyway.” _

 

_ “But Ma, you’ll get better.  You told me to always keep fighting, to always get back up again.  You have to…”  _ Steve said tearfully.

 

Sarah Rogers smiled at him and Steve started to cry in earnest, because he knew that smile.  That was the smile she showed to the neighbors after his dad had died. That was the smile she’d given him when she came back from a double shift at the hospital and still didn’t have enough money to pay all the bills.  That was the smile of someone who was losing a battle they couldn’t win, but kept fighting it anyway.

  
She smoothed the hair off of his forehead, saying, “ _ I’m trying, baby.  I’m trying. But I want you to be taken care of if I can’t get up from this one. _ ”


	25. Chapter 25

They were all glad to leave the hospital.

 

Steve and Clint got more and more twitchy the longer they stayed and started having nightmares every night.  Steve was better at keeping his quiet and to himself. He had been woken once by Clint screaming in his sleep.

 

They didn’t sleep much after that.

 

Natasha seemed to grow weaker every day they spent in the hospital.  She looked like she had two black eyes, the circles under them were so dark.  Once Coulson came to pick them up, she took one look at him and asked, “Can I start wiping them now?”

 

“Please,” he said, helping the two boys get ready to go.

 

She closed her eyes.  Steve was glad of it, as he needed to change and didn’t want to ask her to leave.  Not when she was so vulnerable herself.

 

Clint took a bit more maneuvering to get ready, as he was moving mostly on one foot, seeing as his leg was still painful.  The hospital had given him crutches, but it was policy to have every patient wheelchaired to the exit. They made quite a sight all going towards the doors.  Steve was sure if any of the people around them would actually remember seeing them, there would be some stories told. As it was, Natasha was in a wheelchair of her own, being rolled by one of the nurses.  Coulson had taken control over Clint’s wheelchair while carrying his crutches. Steve was being rolled by another nurse.

 

Natasha’s eyes were closed and she was curled into herself, but Steve was sure she was covering their tracks as they moved through the building.  He wanted to get out of here, not just to get them out of danger of being caught, but also so she could let go of however many people were taxing her brain as she controlled them.

 

They got to the exit doors.  Steve got up from his wheelchair and thanked his nurse for helping him.  She nodded absently, her eyes unfocused.

 

Clint hopped on one foot once he was standing before grabbing his crutches from Coulson.

 

They looked to where Natasha was still sitting.  She simply held out a hand.

 

“Get. Me. Out. Of. Here,” she gritted out.

 

Coulson hooked her arm around his neck and scooped her up into his arms, grunting with her weight.  He nodded towards the doors.

 

“Let’s go, guys,” he said, keeping a wary eye out.

 

Steve held the door for them.  They worked their way slowly down the sidewalk, out onto the street, until they were away from the hospital.

 

“I had to park down the street to avoid any surveillance cameras.  We’re almost there,” Coulson said bracingly.

 

“I can take her, Coulson,” Steve offered, holding out his arms.

 

“You will not.  You're not agitating your stomach wound.  Besides,” Coulson said, putting Natasha’s feet down, but keeping an arm around her waist to help her stand, “we’re here.”

 

They got to the van.  Steve opened the back for Clint and helped him hop inside.  Natasha was placed in a seat and buckled and finally, Coulson and Steve got in and shut the door.

 

“Tasha, we’re safe now.  You can let them go,” Clint said to her.

 

Steve could tell when Natasha had finally released her hold on all the people she had been controlling.  All the tension went out of her body and she slumped into Clint’s side.

 

He put an arm around her, saying, “Go to sleep.  You’ve earned it.”

 

She was out before he finished his sentence.

 

“She’s been doing a lot,” Coulson observed.

 

The two boys nodded.

 

“How are you doing?” Steve asked Coulson as he started to drive.

 

“Fine.  Some lacerations from the windshield and lack of an airbag, but nothing close to what you boys had.  I’m sorry I wasn’t at the hospital, but they needed me at Shield.”

 

“Is something wrong?” Clint asked, alert.

 

Coulson hesitated.  “Things aren’t going well with the Red you all saved.  We’ve had Loki, Pepper, and Fury all try to talk to him, show him that what happened wasn’t his or anyone else’s fault other than the Red Room’s, but he won’t listen.  I was hoping Natasha could try to talk to him once she gets back, but I think we should wait a few days. She needs time to recover. She’s been mentally straining herself too much as it is.”

 

“Has he been causing trouble?” Steve asked.

 

“Nothing terrible.  But we told Bucky to keep his door locked at night anyway, just in case.”

 

“Lee’s targeting Bucky?” Steve demanded.

 

Coulson sighed, drumming his fingers against the wheel.  “Not targeting, per se. But he doesn’t like or trust him.  Lee’s been trying to turn the other kids against not only Bucky, but also all the rest of the Red Room agents we’ve rescued as well.  And Lee can be pretty persuasive.”

 

“Little shit…” Steve muttered.

 

“Indeed.  I believe Dum Dum’s sister punched him when he tried to say his spiel to her.  That shut him up for a few days. We’re keeping an eye on him.”

 

“I’ll help,” Steve volunteered.  “I don’t want him to turn the camp into a civil war.  Those never go well.”

 

“Sure you’re not doing it for another reason, Steve?” Clint teased.  “Don’t you wanna be a white knight for you boy-”

 

“For the last time, Barton, Bucky is not my boyfriend!” Steve shouted.

 

Natasha stirred.  Clint glared at Steve until she settled again.

 

“Tell that to him…” Coulson muttered.

 

“What?!” Steve said, spinning to look at him.

 

“Steve, he has asked about you every day.  He won’t shut up about you. All the Red Room guys grin and bear it, but I think they are about ready to kill him.”

 

“But he doesn’t think we’re-”

 

“No, Steve.  His memory isn’t impaired.  He knows you aren’t dating. I’m just saying.  You might find that’s an option,” Coulson said, looking at Steve through the rearview mirror.

 

It suddenly hit Steve that he was going to see Bucky when they got to Shield.  A not-brainwashed, unhurt Bucky with a metal arm and mental baggage. Steve didn’t care about the last two things, but to see Bucky as close to who he had been before all this had happened?

 

Steve suddenly wanted Coulson to drive faster.

 

Unfortunately, they still had a few hours to go.  Natasha slept the whole time, Steve and Clint taking a few naps along the way.  The sun had set before they took the turnoff to get to Shield.

 

Clint woke Natasha once they got through Tony’s barrier.  She was groggy, but already looked better than before.

 

Most of the campers were still awake and quite a few of them came to welcome them back.  Steve tried not to be obvious that he was looking around, trying to find one face in particular in the sea of people.  

 

In his search, he saw Sam, Tony, Thor, Bruce, and Dum Dum all standing together off to the side.  He made his way toward them.

 

“Steve!” Sam said once he saw him, giving him a hug.  “How are you feeling?”

 

Steve shrugged.  “Little sore, little tired.  How’s the leg?”

 

Sam shrugged mockingly in response to Steve’s nonchalance.  “Healing. How’re the other two?”

 

The others crowded around Steve as he brought them up to speed on the last few days, especially how much control Natasha had mentally exerted and how wiped she was now.

 

Bruce let out a low whistle.  “If Hydra had known how powerful she was…”

 

The rest of the group nodded, not needing him to finish his sentence.

 

“How about things here?” Steve said.

 

Tony bounced on the balls of his feet.  “Oh man, wait to you see what I’ve been working on with Sam.  Coolest things ever, maybe even more than my gauntlets.”

 

“That’s great, Tony,” Steve said distractedly, still trying to look around for who he wanted to see most.

 

“Are you looking for your beloved, Steve?” Thor asked gently.

 

“I- My- He’s…  Bucky. Yes. Do you know where he is?”

 

They all looked behind Steve and started to grin.  

 

“Yeah, I think so, unless I’m hallucinating,” Sam said.

 

“Aw, c’mon, Sam, I didn’t hit you  _ that _ hard when we were sparring earlier…” a familiar voice said close to Steve’s back.

 

Slowly, Steve turned around.

 

Bucky’s hair was still long, but tied back so only a few strands fell into his face.  He had shaved and his cheeks didn’t look quite as hollow as the last time Steve had seen him.  One of the sleeves of his long sleeve shirt was knotted, getting the extra fabric out of the way of the empty space of where his arm used to be.  Tony hadn’t returned Bucky’s metal arm yet apparently. His mouth quirked in a small, uncertain smile that was all for Steve.

 

He looked beautiful.

 

Steve took a step forward, then another before he threw himself at Bucky, wrapping his arms around him as tightly as he dared.

 

He was home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been 84 years but my boys are finally back together! About now people might be realizing that we aren't even halfway thru the fic... More things to come.
> 
> I haven't said this yet, but I'm on Tumblr: cap-and-cyborg
> 
> Come say hi :)


	26. Chapter 26

It didn’t matter to Steve that Bucky was about the same height as him, if not a little shorter.  It didn’t matter that Bucky had only one arm to wrap around him. It didn’t matter that his now longer hair tickled Steve’s cheek.  All that mattered was that he could put his arms around Bucky, hold him tightly but gently, and tuck his face into the crook where his neck met his shoulder.

 

“Bucky…” Steve whispered, not quite believing he was really there in his arms.

 

“I’m here, Stevie.  God, I’ve missed you,” Bucky murmured, tightening his hold.

 

Steve wanted to do the same, but he didn’t want to break Bucky.  Instead, he nuzzled into Bucky’s neck, getting as close to him as he could.

 

“Buck… I can’t believe you’re here…” 

 

“Flesh and blood.  Well, mostly,” Bucky said, laughing softly, his breath against Steve’s neck making the hairs there stand on end.

 

“Yeah…”  Reluctantly, Steve pulled away a little, taking in the empty space where Bucky’s arm used to be.

 

“Can I…?” he asked, trailing off as he lifted a hand.

 

Bucky nodded.  

 

Steve gently touched his shoulder and was surprised to find more metal under his hand.  It seemed like this was the socket for the arm to go in and connect to other things, but it was hard to tell without seeing what he was touching.

 

“Here, I can-” Bucky started, raising his hand towards the top of his shirt, but was interrupted by Dum Dum’s voice.

 

“If you’re about to take off your shirt in front of God and everybody, I swear Barnes, I’ll slap ya upside the head.”

 

Bucky let go of the neck of his shirt.  He had apparently been ready to do just that.

 

“Get a room,” Tony called.

 

“Tony,” Steve hissed, glaring at him.

 

Bucky laughed and put his hand on Steve’s shoulder.  Steve couldn’t help scooting closer, so he could feel the heat from Bucky’s body warm on his side.  “Tony’s just playing, Steve. It’s fine. Hey, wanna see what he’s been working on? It’s so cool, I didn’t think tech like this would be possible for another three decades at least but somehow he’s managing it.”

 

Steve started smiling so big his cheeks hurt.  Bucky noticed, looking at him funny.

 

“What?” he asked.

 

Steve shrugged, still grinning.  “You’re still such a nerd.”

 

Bucky let go of Steve’s shoulder to push him playfully, before slinging his arm around Steve and pulling him towards Tony’s shop.

 

“C’mon, Rogers.  You’re in for a treat,” he said with a smile.

 

Bucky starting leading the group to the shop, but they all stopped after a few paces.  Standing in the way was Lee. He took in the entire group, focusing especially on Dum Dum and Bucky before walking off without saying anything.

 

Steve remembered what Coulson had said about Lee targeting Bucky and the other former Red Room agents and felt the same anger he did the first time course through him.

 

“What’s that face for?” Bucky asked.

 

Steve took a deep breath and then let it slowly out, trying to let his irritation seep out with the air.  “Lee. I don’t like him trying to turn the camp against you and the others.”

 

Bucky shrugged, looking down at his feet.  “I don’t blame him, Steve. I hurt and scared him.  I… killed his dad. In front of him. I would be doing a lot worse things if the same thing happened to me than talking behind someone’s back.”

 

“Bucky, that wasn’t you.  You didn’t have any control,” Steve said, turning to face Bucky head on.

 

Bucky looked up at him, and Steve knew this was a serious conversation and he shouldn’t be noticing how long his lashes were or get stuck in the color of his eyes.  He couldn’t help it. Bucky was  _ here _ .  

 

“Steve, I still did it. I might not remember all of the things I’ve done, but I remember  _ that _ ,” Bucky said, his voice becoming garbled at the end, as if he had to push the words up his throat.

 

“I’m so sorry, Buck,” Steve said quietly.  He couldn’t keep the words in anymore. He had to tell Bucky, try to explain why he left him, that he was trying to help.  That Steve had tried to get to him, had tried to escape so many times so he could get to Bucky. Had to tell him he was sorry for his metal arm, that Steve had broken him in the first place, so that monsters could take away a part of Bucky and replace it with a part of them.

 

“Shut up, Rogers,” Bucky muttered.

 

“But Buck, I-” Steve protested, only to be cut off with Bucky’s hand sneaking down his body, tweaking his side, making him flinch.

 

“I said shuddup.  I know what you’re gonna say, but I don’t wanna hear it.  Me being like this now wasn’t your fault. You couldn’t have known how fucked up the people in charge of us would be.  You couldn’t have saved me. So just… don’t. Okay?”

 

“But-”

 

“Seriously, do you guys need some time?  Cause we can go to my lab another day. Anything to not witness all this,” Tony said, only to be slapped upside the head by Bruce.

 

“This is good for them, Tony.  Let it happen,” Bruce said.

 

“Do you want time with your-” Thor started but Steve cut him off before he could call Bucky Steve’s beloved or some other endearment that was just as true and embarrassing.

 

“No!  No, that’s fine.  I want to see what Tony’s been working on.  I mean,” he said, pausing to look over at Bucky, “unless you don’t wanna go anymore?”

 

Bucky smiled.  “Nah, I wanna show you.  They’re  _ wings _ , Steve.  They’ll help Sam fight and use his agility in the air and they are so  _ cool _ .  They’re a little clunky, but I think they’ll work.”

 

“I’m working with limited resources!” Tony protested.  “You try building delicate machinery out of scrap!”

 

“I’ll leave that to you.  I’ll just ogle as you do,” Bucky replied cheekily.

 

As Bucky led them on their way, Steve felt content for the first time in so long he couldn’t remember.  Bucky was here. His friends were safe. He had finally done what he had left Hydra to do: get his friends safe and find Bucky.

 

Steve hoped that even though he was gone, Dr. Erskine could be proud of what he had helped happen.


	27. Chapter 27

Fury refused to let Steve go out on missions for a few weeks after he got back from the hospital, forcing him to take the time to recover.  As much as Steve felt bad he wasn’t out there, helping kids and having his team’s back, he couldn’t get too upset because it meant spending more time with Bucky.

 

Bucky made a habit of sleeping in Steve’s bed with him after coming back.  He usually was gone by morning, but Steve remembered the warmth of another body next to him.  The first couple of nights, it was hard for Bucky to sleep next to him. He had to adjust to the feeling of another body occasionally rubbing up against him.  His hypersensitivity made difficult for him to sleep. Steve didn’t want to scare Bucky off, so he would just welcome Bucky every night by lifting up the covers in invitation and then falling back asleep.  So they didn’t talk about it. 

 

Until the day Steve woke up and Bucky was still lying next to him.  His eyes were open and when Steve moved, he looked at him.

 

“Mornin,’” Steve said sleepily, his voice rough and eyes blurry.

 

Bucky’s mouth quirked into almost a smile.  “Morning, Stevie.”

 

“You know, this would probably be a lot less potentially embarrassing if we sleep in your room, instead of mine.  My room comes with five other boys,” Steve murmured, trying to be nonchalant, nodding to the bunk beds surrounding them.

 

“You ashamed of me, Stevie?” Bucky teased.

 

Steve propped himself up on an elbow to stare down at Bucky.  “ _ Never _ .”

 

Bucky burrowed his face in his pillow to make it so Steve couldn’t see him smile.  “Sap,” he said, his voice muffled.

 

“Yeah, well, look who's talking,” Steve said, tweaking Bucky’s side, making him jump.  

 

Bucky turned his face so Steve could see one eye glaring at him.  “Don’t start something you can’t finish, Rogers.”

 

Remembering their tickle wrestling matches from when they were little, Steve smiled.  “You always won back then because of my asthma. That’s not a problem anymore, Buck. I could take you.”

 

Bucky readjusted himself on the pillow, settling in for more sleep.  “If I wasn’t half asleep, Rogers, I’d make you put your money where your mouth is.  But shuddup, I’m going back to sleep.”

 

“Roger that,” Steve said, just so Bucky would smile.

 

It wasn’t always that easy with Bucky.  He would sometimes get a faraway look in his eye and seclude himself for the rest of the day.  One day Steve had found him punching the bag in the gym with bloodied knuckles, not stopping until Steve physically dragged him away.  The only reason they didn’t come to blows was Bucky’s eyes focused enough to see it was Steve. Other days, the former Red Room agents would congregate together in a huddled group, talking about their time under control.  

 

On those days, Steve knew to give Bucky space.  He needed people who had been through similar experiences and could empathize with what he was feeling. 

 

Bucky and Steve were hanging out in Bucky’s room one day when the former Red Room agents came in.  When Steve went to leave, Bucky caught his arm.

 

“Stay,” he said, looking at Steve.  There was a vulnerable, but trusting look in his eye and Steve was hopeless to move any further away.

 

He did look around the room, making eye contact with each person there before he took his seat again.  Each boy nodded at him, so he sat back on the bed next to Bucky, putting his back against the wall.

 

“Alright, what’s on your mind, guys?” Bucky asked, leaning into Steve’s side.

 

There was silence for a moment as none of the former agents spoke.  It was almost as if no one wanted to break first.

 

Finally, Dum Dum scoffed and said, “Fine, ya losers, I’ll go first.”  He paused and smirked. “My name is Dum Dum and I’ve been back in my head for five weeks.”

 

“Hi Dum Dum,” Steve said, understanding that Dum Dum was trying to elevate the dour mood in the room.

 

Dum Dum shot him a grin before it faltered on his face and he became serious.  

 

“I’m having trouble being around my sister.  She knows it was bad when I was at the Red Room and that I did things I regret.  But she’s just a kid still. I don’t want to burden her with all the stuff that’s in my head.  And I’m terrified I might accidentally hurt her one of these days,” Dum Dum said, staring at his hands.

 

Gabe reached over and put a hand on Dum Dum’s shoulder, moving slowly so he would see the touch coming.

 

“Remember how I said the other day that I feel uneasy around so many Oranges, cause I feel like they might control me at any moment?”

 

Dum Dum nodded.

 

“Well, I was thinking about it, and I think there’s an upside of people being able to control us.  If we ever do snap and lash out, there are people all around us that could stop us before too much damage is done,” Gabe said.

 

Steve opened his mouth, then closed it again.  He wasn’t sure if he should have a voice here, because he hadn’t gone through all the horrors these boys had.

 

Bucky nudged him with his shoulder.  “Say it, Stevie.”

 

All the guys’ eyes turned to Steve at Bucky’s words.  He swallowed, but finally spoke. “I don’t know your side of things, but I can speak for your sister a bit.  I think she would like to know what happened to you, so she could know how to help you. She could be in your corner more, if she knew what things would trigger you.  She could help you either avoid those things or be there for you after. And I think you should work to not think about yourself as a burden. I’m pretty sure the day you and her reunited was one of the best days of her life.  Nothing you could tell her would make her regret being around her again.”

 

“Speaking from personal experience, Rogers?” Morita asked, smirking at him.

 

“Shuddup,” Steve muttered, not looking at Bucky.

 

Bucky slid his arm around Steve and squeeze him.  “Aw, Stevie, I bet you were a wreck without me.” 

 

Steve rolled his eyes, but didn’t dislodge Bucky’s arm.  “Yeah, Buck, I was totally useless.”

 

Their friends teased them when Steve moved into Bucky’s room.  Steve went to Pepper to make sure it was okay, because he couldn’t bear the thought of asking Fury.  She took it rather well, only teasing him a little bit before finally saying that was fine.

 

Steve had slept in Bucky’s bed four nights before he'd been woken from one of Bucky’s nightmares.  He had assumed there was a reason Bucky had started sleeping in the same bed as Steve in the first place, and he was right.

 

After holding Bucky closely for a half an hour, talking to him calmly, making sure he knew he was safe and with Steve, Bucky relaxed in Steve’s arms.

 

“Sorry,” he said gruffly.

 

“Buck, don’t be stupid,” Steve said softly.

 

They lay there together, not break the silence.

 

“You wanna talk about it?” Steve asked.

 

Bucky took a deep breath and let it out, the air ruffling the hair on Steve’s neck.  Steve tried to suppress a shiver.

 

“Dum Dum said he told you about how we don’t always remember what we did while we were under, yeah?” he asked.

 

Steve nodded, the top of his head brushing against Bucky’s cheek, because they were so close together.

 

“The longer I’m out, the more I can… I remember everything.  Every person, every face, every pull of the trigger. I remember hunting down you and your friends and you standing between me and Clint.  Why the hell did you do that, Steve? I could have killed you.”

 

“I just wanted to protect Clint,” Steve answered, still processing what Bucky was saying.  For him to remember every kill he had ever done, after being a sniper and seeing the people he’d killed up close, Steve was amazed Bucky hadn’t had nightmares before now.

 

“Steve, I get that. But I could have  _ killed  _ you.  If I ever broke through my conditioning and realized?  I would have followed you pretty close after,” Bucky said matter of factly.

 

Steve shook his head vigorously, unable to speak through the lump in his throat.  He grabbed both sides of Bucky’s face, pressing his forehead against Bucky’s without saying a word.  He didn’t want to think about Bucky dying, especially because of him. Steve would much rather focus on how Bucky was here, in his arms, warm breath against his face as they breathed together.

 

“I’m sorry,” he finally said.  “I was betting you wouldn’t shoot me.”

 

“How could you have known?”

 

Steve shrugged helplessly.  “I didn’t. I just had hope.”

 

“Idiot…” Bucky said, leaning back from Steve so he could look him full in the face.  “If I ever go under again-”

 

“You won’t-”

 

“ _ If _ I do though, promise me you won’t pull such a stupid stunt again, okay?  Don’t make me go through that,” Bucky said.  

 

“I won’t let you kill me,” Steve promised.

 

“And if you have to choose between you and me, you need to choose you,” Bucky continued.

 

Steve hesitated.  “That, I can’t do.”

 

“Steve-”

 

“No, Buck.  I’ll try to save both of us, but I can’t guarantee I would leave you.  I can’t and I won’t. Not again,” Steve said, not wanting to think about that prospect, let alone go through with it.  He already had left Bucky behind once and look at how that ended. He wouldn’t do it again.

 

Bucky looked at him exasperatedly.  “I told you, that wasn’t your fault.”

 

“Yeah, well, that didn’t make me sleep any better at night,” Steve muttered.

 

“You mean, you have…?”

 

“Yeah, Bucky.  I get nightmares, too.  I haven’t had them in a while cause they’re usually about you and now you’re right here.  But before, at Hydra and when I first got here, I got them a lot.”

 

Bucky wrapped his arms around Steve.  “What a pair we make.”

 

Steve burrowed his head into Bucky’s neck.  “Yeah,” he said, starting to feel the drag of sleep.  “What a pair.”


	28. Chapter 28

One of the things that made Steve happiest about Bucky being at Shield was how well he got along with his friends.  On Bucky’s good days, he could be found in Tony’s shop watching raptly as Tony worked, sparring with either Thor, Sam, or Natasha or all of them at the same time, meditating with Bruce and the other former Red Room agents, having hotdog eating competitions with Clint, or following Steve around as he did his normal routine.

 

Bucky fit in well to Shield, and slowly, so did the other Reds.  They eventually started coming to meals in the mess hall and joined in with training.  Dum Dum started teaching a self-defense course that focused on hand to hand combat. It always had a great turnout, comprised of kids across the color scale.  Morita helped out in the medical bay, patching up scrapes here and bandaging bruises there. Falsworth usually kept to himself, but Steve had seen him helping out with Dum Dum’s classes occasionally.  

 

Steve was honestly surprised some of his friends got along so well, what with all the demons in their heads and histories between them.  But people surprised him on all sides.  

 

It probably helped that when Bucky spent time in Tony’s shop, he always was curious about how things worked, how Tony came up with ideas, what he was going to do next.  Tony was usually working on either Sam’s wings or the high tech bow Clint has requested he make. Clint had gotten sick of guns, especially after what happened to Steve, and wanted to have a weapon that challenged him and his abilities.  The logical conclusion was a bow, making him have to think about wind speed, angles, and so many other things Steve sort of understood, just not on the same level as Clint.  

 

Natasha, Thor, and Sam all had a new sense of camaraderie with Bucky that could only be formed once you’ve dug your fist into the other person’s stomach, flipped them over your shoulder, or pinned them to the ground til they gave up.  Natasha was really good at coming up with ways for Bucky to fight one-handed without any problems. Mostly the technique involved a lot of leg work, but it was awesome to watch the two of them fight. Thor’s fighting style was a bit different.  Steve had once seen him lift Bucky right off the ground into a crushing embrace, only to let go of him once Bucky said uncle. Sam and Bucky’s friendship seemed to revolve around constant jibing at one another, and that didn’t stop once they were on the mat together.  If anything, it got worse.

 

Bruce was very helpful to the Reds.  After spending so much time in Hydra learning how to suppress the big guy, he knew a lot of techniques to calm the mind and center himself, something the Reds needed.

 

As for Bucky and Clint, for all the appearances of their friendship being superficial with eating contests and arm wrestling competitions, Steve knew they’d had some in-depth conversations about their pasts.  He found himself wondering if Bucky knew the story behind the scar on Clint’s chest, but never asked. If Clint wanted people other than him and Natasha to know, he would tell them. But the two seemed to have each other's backs.  Steve had even seen Clint talking to Lee the other day, totally serious, and motioned to his head a few times. He realized that Clint, whose mind had been invaded by Loki to hurt Natasha, might just be the perfect person to talk some sense into Lee.

 

Lee himself was still standoffish and withdrawn.  He wasn’t as vocal against Bucky and his friends, but was still actively avoiding them.  Steve hoped the training with Pepper and talks with Clint were paying off. He himself had tried talking to Lee, but Lee hadn’t responded to anything he said, merely glaring at him before turning away.

 

Tony still hadn’t given Bucky back his metal arm.  He had to take it apart slowly, making sure he wouldn’t trigger anything as he went. Steve had been in the room at one point when Tony was taking it apart, and the tension eventually got to him so badly he needed to leave.  The feeling that Tony was defusing a bomb was a bit too much for him.  

 

Bucky didn’t seem to miss the arm.  He went about his business with his sleeve tied up and out of the way, or wore short sleeves or tank tops so the extra material wouldn’t bother him.  Bucky didn’t seem to mind the looks he got for the empty space. In fact, he let the especially curious kids touch the stump and metal around it.  

 

Finally, Tony finished opening all the plating in the arm.  He called all of their friend group together to talk about what he had found, from both Hydra and the Red Room.  Looking around, Steve had a momentary flash of happiness that his family had grown all the more. They were one of the only good things to come from all the horrible events they had all gone through.  

 

“So there’s no bomb or weapon in it, just to reassure you right off the bat,” he said and there was a chorus of relieved sighs around the room.  “And there are a few things I can do to make it less of a mental and physical load on Bucky’s body. But then there’s this,” he said, holding up what looked like a necklace.

 

“What’s that?” Bruce asked, trying to look closer, but Tony pulled it out of his reach.

 

“As far as I can tell, it’s a tracker,” Tony said.

 

Everyone in the room froze.

 

“But, it isn’t activated until someone hits this button on the pendant.  The only problem is, I don’t know how to disable it without triggering it.”

 

“So, as of now, the Red Room doesn’t know where we are?” Sam asked, eying the pendant suspiciously.

 

“Nope, not a clue,” Tony replied.

 

“Is there a way of reversing the homing signal or whatever it would be called, so we know where the Red Room is located?” Clint asked.  “As long as you give me some numbers, I could probably figure it out.”

 

“That’s actually not a bad idea.  I think we should know their location, just in case,” Tony said, looking closer at the button.  “I’ll poke around and see if I can find you something.”

 

“Are you saying,” Bucky said quietly, “I could have given away your guys’ location at any time?”

 

They all turned to look at him.  He looked small, pulled into himself.

 

“No, actually.  I don’t think this was meant for you.  I think if the agent escorting you got into a tight spot, they were probably supposed to access and activate this.  It just happened to be your arm that was the storage space for it,” Tony said.

 

Bucky nodded, but Steve saw his jaw was still clenched.  Steve slowly slid his hand alongside Bucky’s, giving him time to pull away before he held on.  Bucky didn’t remove his hand. Instead, after their fingers were entwined, he squeezed Steve’s a little.

 

Their friends all pointedly ignored them, but Steve heard Natasha whisper in his mind,  _ Boyfriend… _

 

_ Shut up _ , he replied without spite.

 

She smirked with the corner of her mouth.

 

“So what do we do now?” Steve asked.

 

Tony shrugged.  “Not much we can do.  I’ll either figure out how to reverse the tracking signal or I won’t.  We won’t find out unless we try.”

 

“But while you’re testing, do try not to set off the tracker, won’t you?  I don’t fancy the idea of going back to the Red Room again,” Falsworth said from where he was standing beside Dum Dum.  Steve was almost surprised he had talked. He usually wasn’t very vocal.

 

“Sir, yes, sir, and all that,” Tony said, saluting mockingly.  “I’ll keep working on your wings, Sam, and your bow, too, Clint,” he continued.  “No use wasting time on stuff I don’t know will work.”

 

“Alright, sounds good,” Steve said, pulling Bucky towards the door.  He followed behind Steve without protest, and Steve ignored the knowing look on every single one of his friends’ faces as they left the lab.

 

“Buck.  You okay?” he asked as soon as they were outside.

 

Bucky didn’t say anything, just shook his head.  He still seemed small to Steve, like he had curled into himself.

 

“You heard what Tony said.  It wasn’t your fault. You didn’t know,” Steve said bracingly.

 

Bucky still didn’t respond, just looked ahead with deadened eyes.

 

“Hey,” Steve said gently, stopping them and pulling Bucky around until they were face to face.  He waited until Bucky’s eyes focused on Steve’s face. “This was not your fault. You didn’t lead the Red Room to us.  We’re safe. We’re together.” Ignoring the butterflies in his stomach, he leaned forward and kissed Bucky on the forehead.  “Okay?”

 

Bucky’s mouth quirked into a smile as Steve pulled away.  He looked at Steve and said, “Roger, Rogers.”

 

Steve scoffed and pushed Bucky’s shoulder, but he didn’t go far because his hand was still clasped in Steve’s.

 

They walked back to Bucky’s room like that, hands swinging between them.


	29. Chapter 29

Kissing Bucky on the forehead seemed to have unlocked a new realm of them being touchy-feely.  They had been sleeping in the same bed, sure, but now they usually fell asleep with arms wrapped around one another and legs intertwined every night.  That had led to a few awkward mornings, but they didn’t talk about them.

 

Bucky complained at supper about only having one hand, making it so he couldn’t hold hands with Steve and eat at the same time.  Steve had blushed and told Bucky to shut up, but had slid his free hand over to rest on Bucky’s knee, which seemed to appease him.  The rest of the table groaned at their sappiness, making Bucky smirk all the more.

 

They weren’t the only ones to be slowly getting their shit together.  Pepper was laughing more easily to Tony’s jokes and Tony tried to not stare at her every time.  Clint and Natasha seemed constantly aware of where one another was and gravitated to each other instinctively.  Even Thor had seemed to find someone: a small, brown-haired Green who had accidentally bowled him over once when he had been helping Tony in the lab.  He had been smitten with her ever since.

 

Steve was scared to bring up going any further than where he and Bucky were now, though.  Bucky had kissed him once before, but it was a goodbye kiss. Who knows if Bucky would have done that if they hadn’t been about to be separated?  Did he really mean it?  

 

“Just talk to him,” Sam said exasperatedly after Steve had told him all his worries.

 

“No!  What if he’s not ready and I push him into anything?  What if he really doesn’t want to do anything and it was the heat of the moment?  What if when I kissed him on the forehead I made him really uncomfortable?!” Steve asked, pacing back and forth in the gym.

 

He and Sam had been sparring until Sam had noticed how distracted Steve was.  When he asked what was wrong, he probably hadn’t expected a thirty-minute rant and half-panicked Steve unable to stay still.  Luckily the gym was empty, leaving them to talk freely.

 

Bucky was out in Tony’s lab.  Tony had been making some real progress on Clint’s bow and Bucky didn’t want to miss a moment of the putting together process.

 

“Steve, you’re being an idiot.  If you talk to Bucky, he’d probably say the same thing.  So why don’t you go find him and have a nice long chat. I could use the peace and quiet,” Sam said.

 

“Okay… But if this ends in disaster, I’m blaming you,” Steve said, only half joking.

 

“Yeah, yeah.  Get going, Rogers,” Sam said, laughing.

 

Steve took as long as he could to get to Tony’s shop.  He stopped to talk to Pepper, checked in on Dum Dum, grabbed a snack from the cafeteria, and then finally ran out of things to do.  He dragged his feet all the way to the door before taking a deep breath and opening it.

 

“DUCK!” someone shouted from inside and Steve immediately flattened himself to the ground.  An arrow whizzed above him, right where his head had been a second before.

 

“Shit! You okay?” Tony asked.

 

Steve got up and brushed the dust off of him.  “What the hell, Tony?!”

 

“I was just testing it out!” Tony explained.  “Usually Barnes knocks before he comes in. Shit, he is gonna kill me.”

 

“Where is Bucky?” Steve asked, finally having time to look around and see that he wasn’t there.

 

“Went to the bathroom.  He’ll be back in a sec,” Tony said, looking over the bow.  He started muttering to himself, “Pulled a bit to the left, need to adjust the… okay and then… and we should be good.”

 

There was a knock and the door opened behind Steve.  “Did you lose an arrow?” Bucky asked, holding it as he came in.  When he saw Steve there, he smiled. “Hey, Stevie.” He paused and looked slowly from Steve, to the arrow, to outside, and then at Tony, who still had the bow in his hands.  “Wait…”

 

“It was an accident, I swear!” Tony said loudly.  “All in the name of science!”

 

“Were you shooting this at the door?  Where people could come in at any time?  Really, Tony? You don’t have to be a genius to figure out that isn’t a good idea!” Bucky said with a laugh. 

 

Steve figured the only reason he was laughing about it was that Steve wasn’t actually hurt.

 

“Whatever, Barnes.  I didn’t actually shoot your boyfriend, so shut up,” Tony said, taking the arrow back from Bucky and turning back to the bow.

 

It was on the tip of Steve’s tongue to protest that Bucky wasn’t his boyfriend, but he paused.  Instead, he turned to Bucky and said, “Can we talk about something? In private?”

 

Bucky tilted his head at Steve, trying to figure him out, but just said, “Sure.  Let’s go to our room.”

 

As they were leaving, Tony shouted after them, “Use protection!”

 

“Tony!” Steve complained as the door swung closed.

 

“Everything ok?” Bucky asked as they made their way across camp.

 

“Yeah, yeah.  It’s fine. I just… wanted to ask you something, but not in front of Tony.”

 

“Alright.”

 

They got to their room and closed the door behind them.  It wasn’t until the lock tumbler fell into place that Steve turned to Bucky.

 

He had no idea how to start this conversation.

 

“Stevie?  You okay?” Bucky asked.

 

Steve nodded, unable to speak.  He couldn’t stop staring at Bucky.  His best friend. The only person he had ever been in love with.

 

Slowly, he lifted his hand to cup Bucky’s cheek.  Bucky leaned into the touch. Steve took in the sight of Bucky, whose eyes had closed as Steve touched his face.

 

Taking a deep breath, Steve let his thumb brush against Bucky’s lower lip.  Bucky’s eyes snapped open to stare at Steve.

 

“Is this okay?” Steve croaked, scared to ask, even more so for the answer.

 

The smile Bucky gave him was blinding.  They were suddenly sixteen years old again, without all the trauma weighing down their minds.  Just him and Bucky. Together.

 

“Yeah, Stevie.  It’s perfect,” Bucky replied.

 

They leaned in until their foreheads touched, just standing there with their eyes closed for a moment.  Slowly, they tilted their heads more and more, until their noses brushed each other, their cheeks were close, their lips inches away.

 

Steve couldn’t tell which one of them finally pressed their lips together.  He could only feel the rasp of stubble on Bucky’s chin, the warmth of his body against Steve’s, the sensation of Bucky’s lips moving gently against his own.

 

The last time they had kissed had been rushed.  It was a different kind of declaration. This time, they were saying to each other in the kiss  _ I’m here, I missed you, and I’m very much in love with you _ .

 

Or at least that was what Steve tried to convey through his lips.

 

Judging on the look on Bucky’s face when they pulled away momentarily, he’d probably succeeded.  It took Bucky a minute to open his eyes, and he had to blink a few times to focus on Steve’s face.  When he did, he gave Steve a soft smile.

 

“Wanted to do that for a long time, Stevie,” Bucky whispered.

 

Steve nodded, his forehead brushing against Bucky’s because they were still so close together.

 

“Me too,” he murmured back.

 

“Since when for you?” Bucky asked quietly, seeming to not want to break the peace of the moment.

 

Steve hesitated, then mentally shrugged.  He had never been one to do things halfway.  “Since the day I figured out I loved you.”

 

Bucky seemed to stop breathing, staring at Steve.

 

Reaching out, Steve stroked Bucky’s cheek again.  That seemed to jog Bucky into taking a breath, but he still didn’t speak.

 

“I was home sick with what turned out to be pneumonia and stopped breathing.  You came in just in time to save me and I remember looking at you and realizing I loved you.  And that I had since the day we had met and you saved me then too. It’s always been you for me, Bucky.  I love you. That’s why I won’t ever give up on you. I’ll always be here for you, arm or no arm, mental scars or not, til the end of the line.  The only way I’ll stop is if you want me to. Do… do you want me to?” Steve asked hesitantly.

 

“No!  Fuck, no.  Stevie. Just.  Give me a second.  Jesus Christ...” Bucky exclaimed, his voice trailing off at the end as he put his head on Steve’s shoulder and just breathed.

 

He looked up suddenly to stare directly at Steve.  Steve barely had time to brace himself before Bucky was pushing forward, his mouth coming against Steve’s more passionately than last time.  Steve held on to Bucky for dear life, clutching him close as Bucky kissed him until they were panting.

 

They pulled back to catch their breath.  Bucky’s hand was on Steve’s neck, stroking his pulse point.  He used his thumb to tilt Steve’s head up, so they were face to face again.

 

“I’ve fallen in love with you so many damn times, Steven Grant Rogers.  When you punched Timmy Adams in the face the day we met. Every time you came back to school after being sick and gave me a smile that boasted you had survived.  All the times you snuck into my fifth-grade class to see me during breaks cause you missed me, and didn’t care about being caught or getting detention. When you cried on my shoulder at your ma’s funeral.  I fell in love with you every time I woke up in the morning and you were in the bed across the room from me. I loved you when you helped me when we got our powers. I thought about you every day we were apart.  And I fell so hard for you when you saved me from myself, Steve. I am in love with you. So I don’t want you to stop. I want us to start,” Bucky declared.

 

“Good,” Steve said, smiling so wide he couldn’t even lean in for another kiss.


	30. Chapter 30

There was a chorus of groans when Steve arrived at the breakfast table the next morning.  Bucky was still in their room, sleeping in for a little bit.

 

“What?” Steve asked.

 

“You’re glowing, Steve.  It’s a little nauseating,” Natasha answered, putting down her fork.

 

“Oh.  I’m just… happy,” he said, realizing as he said it that it was true.  Steve was genuinely happy for the first time in two years. After kissing a while longer, he and Bucky had spent the entire night in each other's arms.  Steve felt a bit bereft without him so close.

 

“I’m very pleased for both you and your beloved, Steve,” Thor said, clapping Steve on the shoulder as he got up for seconds.

 

“Thanks, Thor,” Steve replied, smiling at him.

 

“Way to go, man.  I knew you could do it,” Sam said, holding his hand up for a fist bump, to which Steve obliged.

 

“Aw, hell, Barnes is going to be more annoying than before,” Dum Dum muttered to his plate, to which the rest of the table gave solemn nods.

 

“C’mon, Bucky’s not that-”

 

“Lies.  Whatever you were about to say is totally false.  You weren’t the one to get your ear talked off by him at any hint of something that reminded him of you.  If I ever hear, ‘Did I tell you about the time Steve…’ I swear, murder will ensue,” Morita said, brandishing his fork threateningly.

 

“Hey, it’s not my boyfriend’s fault.  I did a lot of stupid shit as a kid,” Steve said, feeling the need to defend Bucky.

 

“...Steve…”

 

“...Did you just say…”

 

Clint almost fell off the bench as he flailed.  “HOLY SHIT, IT’S OFFICIAL?!”

 

“I mean, yeah.  It’s been a long time coming, right?” Steve asked.

 

Everyone around the table nodded.

 

“But did he say it?  Like, did you ask him?” Tony asked.

 

Steve noticed Bucky stumble into the dining hall and they caught each other’s eyes.  The smile Bucky gave him could have lit up all of New York City, it was so bright. Steve couldn’t help but return it.  Bucky made his way over to their table and plopped right onto Steve’s lap.

 

“Hey, hot stuff, you come here often?” he said, wiggling his eyebrows.

 

“Oh my God, Bucky, stop…” Steve groaned, hiding his face against Bucky’s chest.

 

Steve paused.  

 

“Buck,” he said, looking up at him suddenly.  “Are we boyfriends?”

 

Bucky looked down at him incredulously.  “Um, yeah? Duh? I mean, I kinda got that sense when we told each other we loved each other?”

 

“What the fuck…”

 

“Dude, way to go!”

 

“Holy shit, they finally did it.”

 

Steve suddenly remembered they had an audience.  Their friends looked on, fascinated with the interaction taking place before them.

 

He turned back to Bucky.  “Well, good.”

 

Bucky smiled again.  “We’re boyfriends.”

 

“Yup.”

 

“We’re going out,” Bucky continued.

 

“Uh-huh.”

 

“You  _ love  _ me,” Bucky crooned.

 

Steve rolled his eyes at the face Bucky was making.  “Yeah, well, you love me, too.”

 

“Damn right I do,” Bucky said, leaning in to kiss Steve softly.

 

“Get a room,” Falsworth muttered, making Steve and Bucky break apart to laugh with the rest of the table.

 

“Buddy, we have a room.  We just like to annoy you guys,” Bucky said, swiping a piece of bacon off Steve’s plate.

 

“Hey!  Get your own!” Steve protested.

 

“Uh-uh, Rogers, boyfriend privileges,” Bucky said, chewing happily.

 

“Fine, I’ll get you your own food,” Steve said, lifting Bucky without effort and putting him where Steve had just been seated.

 

As he walked away from the table, Steve heard Bucky say, “That shouldn’t have been as hot as it was.”

 

Steve had just gotten back to the table with a plate for Bucky when Clint asked Tony, “Do you have an idea of when my bow will be ready?”

 

“It should be by the end of the week.  I have a couple of tweaks left. But I have a feeling you're going to love it,” Tony said with a glint in his eye that slightly worried Steve.  Seeing as he’d almost been shot by Tony with Clint’s bow, he felt the hesitancy was justified.

 

“How about my wings?” Sam asked, leaning forward excitedly.

 

Tony sagged a little.  “Those are going to take a little while longer.  I’m still trying to make it so the metal’s weight doesn’t hold you down too much to even begin flying.  It’s hard with just scrap, but I’ll manage.”

 

“You always do,” a voice said from behind Tony and they all turned to see Pepper there, smiling down at him.  She then turned her attention to the rest of the table.

 

“Fury says Steve has rested enough that he is clear to go on missions again.  I wanted to ask, for the good of the order, how many of this group would be ready and able to accompany him?”

 

Sam, Natasha, and Clint nodded.  Steve had a moment of misgiving about Clint, because he had only gotten off his crutches last week, but Clint, seeming to sense this, gave him a look.  Steve nodded, conceding defeat without words.

 

To Steve’s surprise, Dum Dum raised a hand.  Bruce, Falsworth, and Morita shook their heads.

 

“I should stay here and work on my projects,” Tony said.

 

Steve nodded.

 

“I would like to stay behind to help train the younglings,” Thor boomed quietly.

 

Bucky’s hand shot up.

 

“Buck…” Steve groaned.

 

“What?” Bucky replied, hand still in the air.  “Like hell am I letting you do this alone, Rogers.”

 

“I don’t want you to be in danger again,” Steve whispered, trying to have a semi-private conversation while surrounded by their friends.  It was pretty pointless, seeing as most of the table were Reds, but Steve let himself believe the illusion.

 

“And I don’t want to stay here and worry, while I could be with you and watching your back.  I’ll stay with Natasha at the van, if you want. But I’m going to be there,” Bucky said resolutely.

 

Steve wrapped his arms around Bucky’s waist and nodded.

 

“Okay, so six people?  You probably can switch off missions so you don’t exhaust yourselves like before, then.  That will be good. I’ll let Fury know and he’ll probably let you know about a mission in the next few days,” Pepper said.

 

As nervous as Steve was to put Bucky out in the field again, he felt a surge of excitement at the prospect of getting out and helping people again.

 

And this time, he knew Bucky would be watching his back.

 

Squeezing Bucky’s hand, Steve saw the same old fire in his eyes that was always present right before a fight.

 

That shouldn’t be as hot as it was.


	31. Chapter 31

Two days later, Steve, Bucky, Natasha, Clint, and Sam all bundled up and got into the van.  Dum Dum’d had a rough night the previous night and had elected to not come along.

 

Coulson took the wheel, yawning.  “Everyone buckled?”

 

There was a chorus of sleepy affirmations.  

 

“Alright.  This is going to be a longer trip, so get yourself comfortable,” Coulson instructed.

 

“Can do,” Bucky said, twisting in his seat so he was leaning against the door and throwing his legs on top of Steve and Sam’s laps.  

 

“Aw, c’mon, man,” Sam complained, shoving Bucky’s leg more towards his knees.  Seeing as he had been stabbed in the thigh not so long ago, Bucky didn’t fight him.

 

“Hey, I’m just doing what the man told me,” Bucky said, scooting down in his seat and closing his eyes.  They opened suddenly as he yelped. “What, no, don’t take my shoe off, hey!”

 

Sam smiled evilly as he began to tickle Bucky’s exposed foot.

 

“No, no, Stevie, help me, the guy’s torturing me.  Ah, stop, stop, I’m gonna kick you in the face!”

 

He didn’t.  Instead, he retracted his foot from Sam’s grasp and rammed his knee into the side of Steve’s head.

 

“Oh shit!  Steve! You ok?!” Bucky said, sitting up and cradling Steve jaw between his hands.

 

“Ow,” was all Steve said, slightly dazed from the sudden blow.

 

“I’m so sorry, Steve, I swear I didn’t mean to,” Bucky babbled.  “Is your jaw ok? I didn’t break anything, did I?”

 

“Buck, I’m fine.  It’s just sore, is all,” Steve soothed him, grabbing Bucky’s hand and running his lips against the knuckles.

 

“You sure?”

 

“Uh-huh.”

 

“Sorry.”

 

“It’s ok.”

 

“Still.”

 

“Bucky?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Shuddup.”

 

“Fine.”

 

“Everything ok back there?” Coulson called from the front.

 

“Yeah, we’re good,” Steve replied.  His head did ache, but the pain was already decreasing.

 

“Alright.  Get some rest,” Coulson said.

 

“Will do.”

 

Steve’s neck was cricked when he woke hours later.  They were still driving, but now the sun was fully up and illuminated the van and its passengers.  He looked down at Bucky, who had curled into a ball, propped up by the seat. His face was smoothed out, less stressed than it was when he was awake.

 

His boyfriend.

 

Steve’s face split into a huge grin and he laughed as quietly as he could to himself.

 

Bucky’s eyes opened slowly.

 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you,” Steve whispered, not wanting to disturb anyone else.

 

“Eh,” Bucky muttered.  “It’s fine. What’re you doin’?”

 

“Just lookin’ at ya,” Steve said.

 

Bucky smirked.  “Gay…”

 

“Shuddup.”

 

“Why don’t you come down here and make me?”

 

Steve couldn’t help but accept the challenge.  How could he not?  

 

“PDA in the backseat…” Steve heard Clint sleepily mutter.

 

He pulled back from Bucky to flip him the bird, which Clint cheerfully returned.

 

“I packed you all lunches, if you are hungry,” Coulson said, noticing most of the passengers were awake.

 

“Thanks, Coulson,” Steve said, taking bags for him and Bucky, who seemed content in leaning against Steve a little longer, eyes closed.

 

“Buck, there’s food,” Steve said to him softly.

 

“Hmm,” Bucky sighed.  “I guess I can wake up for that.”

 

“What, and not for when we were kissing?”

 

“Eh,” Bucky said, shrugging.

 

“Jerk.”

 

“Punk.”

 

“Oh my God, can I join you guys?  There’s too much flirting going on back here, it’s getting hard to breathe,” Sam asked Natasha and Clint.

 

“I dunno, dude, I’m kinda liking all this extra space up here,” Clint said.  They had a three-person seat for just the two of them, whereas all three seats in the back were taken up by Sam, Bucky, and Steve.

 

“Ugh, fine,” Sam said sulkily, biting into his peanut butter and honey sandwich.

 

The rest of the trip was peaceful.  Bucky leaned against Steve and dozed once he finished his food.  Steve tried not to worry about what being out in the field could do to Bucky.  He hoped this mission would be easy, so Bucky could stay with Natasha in the van and not even have to fire a shot.

 

That’s not how things worked out, though.  Given the grand scheme of Steve’s life, that wouldn’t make sense.

 

It was fine until after they had gotten the kid.  They were out on the road. They were safe. Well, they should have been.

 

“Guys, we have a problem,” Coulson said from the front seat.

 

They had all been celebrating another successful recovery, the kid safely tucked between Clint and Sam, when Coulson spoke.

 

“What is it?” Steve asked, leaning forward.

 

Coulson pointed forward.

 

A couple hundred feet away, there were a few trucks blocking the highway.

 

“The hell?” Clint asked.

 

“Is it the Red Room?” Steve asked, looking at Bucky.

 

He shook his head.  “Not professional enough.”

 

“Bounty hunters?” Natasha asked, glaring out the windshield.

 

“Seriously?” Sam muttered.

 

Coulson nodded.

 

“What do you wanna do?” Clint asked the van at large.

 

“We could go back and try another way…” Sam said, looking at the person they had rescued, a teenage girl with caramel brown eyes.  She stared back at him defiantly. 

 

“You want to run?” she asked sardonically.

 

“You have a better plan?” Sam questioned, half sarcastically, half seriously.

 

“No,” she answered.  “But he does.” She tilted her head towards Steve.

 

They all looked at Steve.

 

“Steve,” Bucky said quietly.  “What you thinkin’?”

 

“Bucky… I don’t want to put you in danger,” Steve said helplessly.  Because he didn’t see a way of getting out of this without needing Bucky to get involved.

 

Bucky impatiently pulled Steve in for a rough kiss.  “Too fucking bad, Rogers. We’re here and we’re together and if we’re going to stay that way, I’m gonna need to get my hands dirty.  Now. What do you want us to do?”

 

Steve took a breath in and let it out before answering, still feeling the imprint of Bucky’s lips against his own.  The prospect of losing Bucky added a new need to get them all out of there safely.

 

“They might not know that our van, in particular, has teenagers in it, so we might be able to take them by surprise as long as they haven’t been tipped off.  They’ll probably have a way to produce Noise, so that’ll be the first thing we need to take care of. Coulson will try to distract them as long as possible. Nat can help with that mentally.  Hopefully, with just that, we won’t have to engage at all. If all else fails, Sam, you and I will get to the trucks and take out the Noise machines. Clint, you stay with… sorry, but I don’t remember your name,” Steve said to the girl.  He really shouldn’t think about her as much younger than him. But she didn’t have the same weight on her shoulders the others did. It made her seem lighter, more youthful.

 

“Skye,” she said defensively, as if daring any of them to make fun of her for her name.

 

“Ok, Clint, you stay with Skye with a gun and cover her.  We can’t let the bounty hunters get a hold of her.”

 

“I’m still mentally weak from controlling so many people in the hospital, Steve.  I don’t know how much I can help,” Natasha said apologetically.

 

“That’s okay, Nat.  We’ll make it work,” he replied, smiling gently at her.

 

“What about me?” Bucky asked Steve, raising an eyebrow.

 

Steve hesitated just a moment, wanting so badly to keep Bucky close, where he could personally keep him safe.  But he knew from experience even side-by-side, they couldn’t always protect one another. “I need you to get your gun and get out of the van.  There are trees and terrain that can give you the high ground. I need you to have our backs through the scope. But try not to fire unless you absolutely need to.  If there’s fighting, we’ll come and get you once it’s done. If not… you’ll have a better chance of getting around them on foot than in our van. We’ll be waiting for you down the road.  Okay?”

 

Bucky nodded, going to the back of the van where they kept the bigger weapons Fury had supplied.  His face looked a little blank. A little like how he had been when under the Red Room’s control.

 

“Hey,” Steve said, coming up behind him.

 

Bucky continued to look over the gun, not at Steve.

 

Steve put a hand over Bucky’s knee.  Bucky looked up at him, but with that same unseeing face.  

 

“You aren’t under their control.  You are doing this under your own free will.  If you don’t want to do it, we can change the plan.  It is totally, utterly up to you,” Steve said.

 

Bucky’s face cleared a bit and he smiled softly at Steve.  “It’s just weird, seeing as the last time I was looking through a rifle, it was with you in my crosshairs.”

 

Steve squeezed Bucky’s knee.  “I still will be, Buck. But this time you’ll be protecting me.  Okay?”

 

He nodded.

 

“It’ll be harder without this thing,” he warned, gesturing to his missing arm.

 

Steve shrugged.  “I have faith in you.”

 

“Sap.”

 

“I love you,” Steve said softly, so Bucky was the only one to hear.

 

Bucky’s smile widened.  “I love you, Stevie. I’ll see you when this is all over, kay?”

 

It was Steve’s turn to nod.  He couldn’t make his throat work to form words.

 

“Coulson, slow the van down a bit so I can hop out the back.  I don’t want them to see you make a full stop,” Bucky called up front.

 

Coulson did so, and with one last look at Steve, Bucky was gone.


	32. Chapter 32

Steve took a few deep breaths as Bucky disappeared off the road and into the trees next to it, reminding himself that it was very possible this could go a lot better than he was picturing and he and Bucky would see each other again very soon.  

 

But just in case…

 

He pulled out the radio that would let him contact Shield.  “This is Steve, come in Tony,” he said.

 

There was static for a moment then Tony’s voice said, “What’s up, Steve?  Something wrong with the recovery mission?”

 

“Little snag,” Steve said.  “Bounty hunters have a blockade on the road.  We’re going to try to get through. If you don’t hear from us in the next half hour, I need you to immediately come to these coordinates.  There’s a possibility they didn’t get us all. Please come check but don’t get caught yourself.”

 

After getting the coordinates from Steve, Tony said, “I’ll be waiting to hear from you.  By the way, Clint, little incentive to get you back here: I’m finishing your bow tomorrow.”

 

“Sweet, man!” Clint crowed from the front seat.

 

“Alright, Tony.  Hopefully, you’ll hear from us soon,” Steve said.

 

“Looking forward to it,” Tony said flippantly, but Steve could hear the worry in his voice.

 

Back in the front with the others, Steve noticed Natasha watching him.

 

“What?”

 

“You put Bucky the furthest away from the action so he couldn’t be captured again.  Smart, Rogers. But do you really think he won’t hightail it to you if you’re captured yourself?” she asked.

 

“I had to try,” Steve said, shrugging.

 

Natasha nodded.  “I get it,” she replied simply.  “I wish I could do the same thing.”

 

She pointedly didn’t look at Clint when she said it.  He reached out and took hold of her hand anyway.

 

“I’m not going anywhere,” he said.

 

Natasha finally turned to him and gave him a little smile.  Steve looked away. That moment wasn’t for anyone but them.

 

“Alright.  We’re almost there,” Coulson said.

 

“Everyone get in the back,” Steve instructed, watching the men and women at the blockade warily.  They were equipped similarly to the bounty hunters they had first encountered: lots of nonlethal weapons.  They wanted to take in the teenagers they found alive.

 

One of the bounty hunters approached the driver’s side window.  As she and Coulson started to talk, Skye leaned toward Steve.

 

“I can fight, too,” she whispered.

 

Steve didn’t want to say anything and give them away, so he just shook his head.

 

Skye rolled her eyes.  “You’re being a dick,” she muttered.

 

Smiling a little bit because he appreciated her attitude, Steve shrugged.

 

Sam nudged Steve’s arm and Steve’s attention snapped back to the people outside.  The bounty hunters where surrounding the van, getting ready to search it. Steve made eye contact with Natasha and nodded.

 

She squeezed her eyes tight as she entered their minds.  The look of concentration mixed with pain made Steve feel guilty about letting her come along in the first place.  If she hadn’t recovered still, she shouldn’t have been on the mission. But she hadn’t told him. And unlike her, he couldn’t read minds.

 

Clint rubbed her shoulders a bit as she started to twitch every now and again.

 

The agents threw open the doors and peered inside.  One of them looked Steve full in the face but his eyes were dimmed.  He looked at Steve but didn’t see him.

 

“All clear,” one of the people shouted.

 

They started to close the doors.  Natasha was continuously shaking now.  The side door was shut, but not the back door, when she cried out and clutched her head.

 

The bounty hunter at the back door glanced in one last time and froze.  

 

“There are kids!” he shouted before Steve launched himself through the open door and knocked him out with one blow. Sam followed close behind and stepped forward with Steve as the bounty hunters converged on the van.

 

They were doing well, fighting their way through the men and women who wanted to kidnap them.  Until the Noise started. Both Sam and Steve dropped to their knees, clutching their heads. One agent hit Sam over the head with his baton and he fell to the ground, unconscious.  Another walked towards Steve.

 

A bullet ripped through the bounty hunter’s calf and he fell, screaming in pain.  The other agents, from what Steve could see through his tear-filled eyes, paused.

 

Blessedly, the Noise stopped.

 

As Steve’s head and vision cleared, he saw the front of the trucks were torn apart with bullets.  The men and women backed up, wary of the unseen shooter.

 

But no more bullets came.

 

Steve tried not to think about what that could mean as the bounty hunters gathered their courage.  Once they converged on him, he didn’t have much time to think about anything but surviving.

 

The fight honestly wasn’t going well.  He had taken a few hits and was hurting.  Steve was distracted with Sam lying a few feet away and the conspicuous lack of bullets coming from Bucky.  He knew Clint, Natasha, and Coulson were in the van right behind him, the rest of his friends close by, but they might as well have been miles away, back at Shield.

 

He felt alone.

 

A blow from a baton made it through his defenses and clocked him on the jaw.  Luckily, it didn’t break, but Jesus, did it hurt. Distracted from the pain, Steve just barely threw up an arm in time to protect his side from an incoming knife.  He hissed as he felt the burning sensation of the sharp metal going through his upper arm.

 

“Steve, duck!” a voice shouted behind him.

 

He was happy to oblige.

 

He looked up as he hit the ground.  Skye was standing just outside the van, Clint at her side with a gun in his hand.  She raised her hands and Steve both felt and heard rumbling. Waves of… something shot out of Syke’s hands and threw the bounty hunters into the air, far away from Steve.  Steve himself was mostly out of the way of the blast, but was buffered to the side a bit. He groaned as his cut arm came in contact with the asphalt. The rumbling stopped and all the bounty hunters were still on the ground.

 

After checking on all of his charges, Coulson hurried toward Steve with the med kit they had packed after their disastrous second mission.  Clint went to Sam, waking him. Sam had a bump on his forehead, possibly a concussion.

 

“We have to get that cleaned and sewn up so it doesn’t get infected,” Coulson said to Steve, grabbing supplies.

 

“I think it has gravel in it,” Steve said quietly, so the pain wouldn’t be as apparent in his voice.  

 

Steve turned to Clint and Sam, who had just knelt at his other side.  “I need you to find Bucky. I don’t know what happened to him, but he stopped firing.  Find him. Please.”

 

“You got it,” Clint said.

 

Skye stood to watch over the bounty hunters.

 

“Nice job, kid,” Steve said, trying to ignore Coulson’s work as he dug the rocks out of his cut.

 

Skye smirked.  “I told you I could help.”

 

“Yeah… Shoulda listened,” Steve said, lying back on the ground.  Sitting up had suddenly become a lot of effort.

 

“Steve, you’re going into shock.  I need you to stay awake, okay?” Coulson said worriedly.

 

_ Steve? _ he heard Natasha say.

 

He looked around as much as he could, but didn’t see her.

 

_ Where are you? _

 

_ In the van.  I’m really tired, but I’ll stay awake if you will _ .

 

_ Deal _ , he replied.

 

Steve floated for a bit, hissing occasionally as Coulson started to stitch up the cut.  He didn’t have much for numbing, so Steve was trying to power through.

 

_ Tell me a story, Steve.  One I don’t know yet _ , Natasha said in his mind.

 

_ Mmm.  I’m kinda distracted, Nat.  It might not be that good. _

 

_ That’s okay.  Just stay awake, okay? _

 

Steve thought.   _ Did I ever tell you about the day I moved in with Bucky and his family? _

 

_ No, you haven’t. _

 

_ Okay.  Well, it was the day after my ma died.  I was pretty numb. Had stayed the night in the hospital, cause I didn’t want to go far from her body.  I remember, when I walked into the Barnes’, Buck’s dad… ow, fuck, that hurt… _

 

_ Keep going, Steve.  What did Bucky’s dad do? _

 

_ His name was George.  He died in an accident at a factory, right after we found out Bucky’s ma was pregnant with Becca.   _ Steve sent a mental picture of the family while it was still whole.  Bucky, his ma, his dad, and Becca, inside of Winifred.

 

_ They’re lovely.  So what happened? _ Natasha asked, getting Steve back on track.

 

_ He was the one who cooked the most in the house and he made me all my favorite foods.  Barely ate any of it. Wasn’t up for eating. Buck sat on the same bench as me the whole meal.  Didn’t want me to feel alone. _

 

He paused.   _ I felt alone for a minute there, Natasha.  Like all the people I loved had either left or were leaving me. _

 

_ We’re here _ , she said.  

 

_ I know _ , he replied.   _ But I felt it. _

 

_ I’m sorry _ , she whispered.

 

They didn’t communicate for a bit.  Steve drifted.

 

_ Steve… _ she said suddenly.

 

_ Yeah? _

 

_ Look down the road.  Bucky’s coming. _


	33. Chapter 33

Bucky was sprinting down the highway, rifle slung over his back.  He was winded, but when he saw Steve on the ground, he shouted, “Steve!”

 

He didn’t stop running as he approached Steve, skidding to a halt just feet from him before falling to his knees.  He crawled forward, using his hand to pull Steve’s head towards him until he pressed his forehead against Steve’s.

 

“I’m ok, Buck.  I’m ok. It’s just a scratch,” Steve assured him, raising his uninjured arm to pull Bucky closer.

 

“I was so scared, Steve.  I ran out of bullets and all I could see was them surrounding you.  I had to get here. I couldn’t let us be separated again. Never again,” Bucky said, hoarsely.

 

“Never again,” Steve agreed, nodding.  His forehead was still pressed against Bucky’s, so their noses brushed.

 

They stayed like that until Coulson finished with Steve’s arm.

 

“Ok, Steve.  That should be good.  Try slowly getting up.  No rush. You did lose some blood,” Coulson instructed.

 

With Bucky and Coulson’s help, Steve got into the van.  He lay on the floor between the seats. Bucky sat above him, dangling a hand so Steve could hold it.  Natasha was in the back of the van, finally resting now that Steve was safe. The rest of the group trudged into the van, taking seats where they could find them.

 

“Sooo… are your missions usually as exciting as that?  Or am I just special?” Skye asked.

 

“Unfortunately, that happens all too often,” Sam replied.  “But you do seem special. What sort of power was that? What classification would it be?”

 

“Maybe Blue?  Bruce’s powers are also a mutation, but he’s strong when he goes green.  Skye’s powers are just strength in a different form,” Coulson said from the front seat, smiling back at her in the back view mirror.

 

“Yeah, I guess,” Sam said drowsily. 

 

“Whoa, hey there buddy, you need to stay awake.  You probably have a concussion and sleep is bad,” Clint said.

 

Sam didn’t reply, just grunted.

 

He squawked a few seconds later, right after Steve heard a thump.  “The hell, man?”

 

Clint sounded completely unapologetic as he said, “I told you, no sleep.”

 

“Asshole...”

 

“Someone radio Tony, tell ‘im were on our way back,” Steve said tiredly before he relaxed into the floor.

 

The drive seemed even longer on the way home.  Steve dozed for most of it. Bucky moved onto the floor as well and rested Steve’s head in his lap.  He ran his hand through Steve’s hair, which soothed Steve more than he expected. He couldn’t even complain about  Bucky not being buckled and safe, because it felt so good for him to be comforting Steve. 

 

The rest of the van, except Coulson, rested.  There would be the occasional outburst as Clint would make sure Sam hadn’t fallen asleep, but otherwise, the time passed peacefully.

 

It was early into the next morning when they finally got back to Shield.  They tiredly checked in with Fury before going their separate ways, either to bed or, in Sam’s case, to the nurse.

 

“You good, Sam?” Steve asked.

 

“Yeah, I’ll get there.  Got a headache, but otherwise, I’m alright,” he replied.

 

“Alright.  Good night.”

 

“Night, Steve.”

 

Steve staggered on the way to his and Bucky’s room.  Bucky grabbed Steve’s uninjured arm and slung it over his shoulder.

 

“Sure you don’t need the nurse, too, Stevie?” he asked.

 

“Nah, Coulson patched me up good.  Just tired,” Steve said.

 

“Maybe go in tomorrow just to check anyway?” Bucky needled.

 

“Fine, Buck.”

 

“Good.”

 

They curled up together in their bed, careful to not bump Steve’s stitches.  They fell asleep twined together.

 

The next morning at breakfast, Tony proudly presented Clint his new bow.  Clint ran his hands reverently on the metal, examining every inch.

 

“And what’s a bow without something to shoot with?” Tony said, clearly enjoying Clint’s reaction.  He took a quiver of arrows out from under the table and gave it to Clint as well.

 

“I made it so the bow and quiver are connected.  Do you see the buttons on the handle of the bow? That can determine what kind of arrowhead you get,” Tony explained.

 

“There are different kinds?!” Clint exclaimed, looking up at Tony like Christmas had come months in advance.

 

Tony smirked.  “Of course. There’s pointed, rubber, stink bomb, and explosive tips,” he said, pointing to each.

 

“You thought it was a good idea to give Barton exploding tipped arrows?” Bruce asked Tony, raising an eyebrow.

 

“What?  You never know when you might need a projectile explosion!” Tony said defensively.

 

“I  _ love _ it,” Clint said, not taking his eyes off his new weapon.  

 

“It’s all yours, buddy.  You’ve earned it,” Tony said.

 

Clint opened his mouth as if to protest, but shut it again.  Instead, he just nodded, still looking at the bow. Natasha put a hand on his knee.

 

“Thank you, Tony,” Clint said quietly.

 

Tony shifted uncomfortably.  “Oh look! There’s Pepper. I’m going to go bug her about a shooting range for you.”

 

He retreated as quickly as possible.

 

“That man cannot handle sincerity,” Falsworth stated bluntly.

 

The rest of the table shook their heads in agreement.

 

“Eat faster, guys, I want to go test this out!” Clint said.  He kept one hand on his bow all meal, glancing over like he couldn’t believe it was really his.

 

They finished eating a few minutes later and Clint bounded outside, only to be met with Pepper.

 

“Tony told me you’re going to need a shooting range.  I’ll get something together, but in the meantime, I’m going to need you to go into the forest and use Natasha to make sure no one is in the danger zone.  Okay?”

 

“You got it!” Clint said excitedly.  He had slumped momentarily as if he had expected Pepper to say he couldn’t use his bow until they had a range set up, but his enthusiasm came back in full force once she was done talking.

 

Pepper smiled.  “Have fun. I know Tony has been working hard on that, so I hope you like it.”

 

“Don’t worry, Pep, now I have one project done, I’ll have more time for you,” Tony said, coming up behind her.

 

She raised an eyebrow at him.  “What, so you can annoy me more?”

 

“Ohhh….” Bucky said quietly.

 

But not quietly enough that Pepper couldn’t hear him.  The two Reds smirked at one another.

 

“I’m going to go check in with Fury.  See you guys later,” Pepper said, smiling and waving at them as she walked away.  She gave Tony a small, private wave, which made the slight pout on his face disappear.

 

“C’mon, I wanna try this out!” Clint said, dragging the others behind them.

 

He spent over two hours in the forest, trying out most of the different arrowheads, working on the trajectory, and getting used to the muscle burn from pulling back the bowstring. Steve noticed the more he shot, the more accurate Clint became.

 

Steve kept looking over at Bucky and grinning.

 

Finally, Bucky asked, “What, Stevie?”

 

Steve kept grinning as he replied, “Just like looking at you, Buck.”

 

Bucky ducked his head and fought down a smile himself.  “Shut your trap, you sap.”

 

Pulling Bucky away from the others, Steve started laughing as they began to race each other through the forest.  Bucky pulled ahead, his hyper-awareness making it easier for him to get around the trees quickly. Steve’s extra strength was actually a liability in the close environment.

 

At least it was, until he sprang forward to pin Bucky against a tree.

 

Bucky smirked at him.  “You got me.”

 

“I already did,” Steve pointed out.

 

“Fair.”

 

Unable to handle the distance between them, Steve leaned in and kissed him.  They got lost in the feeling until they ran out of air and had to pull back. Steve put his head on Bucky’s shoulder, his face towards Bucky’s neck, and just breathed.  Eventually, they ended up sliding down the tree like that, Steve sitting in Bucky’s lap to keep him close. Bucky’s hand brushed through Steve’s hair, lulling his eyes close.  Every now and then, they would look up and either smile gently at each other or kiss again softly, savoring the fact they could.

 

Natasha found them sitting together against the tree like that a while later.

 

“Clint’s running out of arrowheads, so we were thinking of heading back for lunch.  You guys want to join us?” she asked.

 

“Yeah, I could eat,” Steve said, heaving himself to his feet, scooping Bucky into his arms on the way up.

 

“Oh my God, put me down, Steve, we’re not in one of those Harlequin romances my ma loved-” Bucky started to complain, but an explosion from a couple hundred feet away made him pause.

 

“Was that Clint?” Steve asked, gently putting Bucky down.

 

Natasha’s eyes unfocused, then widened.  

 

“No,” she whispered.  “That was the Red Room.  We’re under attack.”


	34. Chapter 34

“Where are they, Nat?  How many are there?” Steve demanded.

 

“They’re surrounding us, so they are spread thin.  The explosion took down Tony’s barrier. We’re totally exposed,” Natasha said, her eyes staring unseeingly forward.  Her head whipped to the right suddenly. “Clint!” she yelled, then took off running.

 

“I’m going to go get weapons, I’ll come and find you!” Bucky said, that determined look in his eye as he turned away.

 

“Buck, wait!”  Steve caught his arm and dragged him into a hug.  “Never separated again, remember? Come back to me.”

 

Bucky pulled back enough he could look Steve in the eye when he said, “I promise.”

 

They kissed, and then Bucky was gone.

 

Steve sprinted towards where Natasha had headed.  He followed the sounds of a struggle and found her fighting three Red Room agents at once.  She was holding her own, but Steve tackled one of the agents away from her anyways. Just Steve’s impact managed to knock the agent unconscious and Steve turned, ready to help Natasha more, only to see the other two agents at her feet.

 

“We can’t kill them, but we need them to keep sleeping,” Steve said.

 

Natasha nodded, then stared at the agents one by one, only wincing slightly.  “Let’s go.”

 

They were in sight of the edge of the woods when they saw Clint fighting with his bow, using recycled arrows to shoot at the incoming agents.  Falsworth and Dum Dum were in the fighting, taking on their former siblings in arms. Steve momentarily wondered where the rest of their friends had gone before he heard the Hulk roar across camp and realized they had broken up to take care of the rest of the fighters.

 

He felt the earth rumble and momentarily wondered if it was Skye before Dum Dum turned and shouted, “They brought the tank!  GET DOWN!”

 

“ _ Clint! _ ” Natasha screamed, racing towards him, something in her mind's eye seeing something Steve could not.

 

Clint turned at the sound of her voice.  With a resolute look on his face, he notched two arrows on his bow and raised it towards Steve and Natasha before letting them fly.  Steve didn’t even have time to register what Clint was doing before a sudden force was holding him back from running any further. He looked down to see an arrow sticking his shirt into a tree.  Then he was blasted back into it by an explosion.

 

Dazed, Steve looked back at where the fighting had been taking place.  Falsworth and Dum Dum were still in the midst of the other soldiers, knocking down their former friends left and right.  But the place close to where Clint had been standing was mostly exposed dirt, unearthed from the blast of the tank.

 

Clint was nowhere in sight.

 

“Clint!  No! Steve, help me, I can’t get free!” Natasha shouted, scrabbling at another arrow that held her sweatshirt against a different tree.

 

He tugged the arrow pinning her free and she sprinted away.  Steve pulled himself free too and followed.

 

He found Natasha kneeling next to where Clint was lying, shaking him desperately.  “Clint, c’mon. Wake up. Don’t you dare die. Clint!”

 

Clint wasn’t moving.  His usually blonde hair was brown with dirt and matted with blood.  Slowly, he opened his eyes.

 

“Thank God,” Steve said, trying to look between Clint and the battle being fought.  Dum Dum and Falsworth were holding off the agents, but the fighting was getting dirtier.  As Steve watched, Dum Dum knocked an agent off her feet in a sweeping leg kick and then drove his elbow into the woman’s sternum.

 

“Sorry Delilah!” he said hurriedly before going to the next fight, leaving the girl gasping on the ground.

 

“Tasha?” Clint said, his words slurring.

 

“I’m here, Clint.  Don’t move, you might be more hurt than we can see,” she said, desperately looking him over.

 

“Tasha?”

 

She froze, obviously hearing something Steve couldn’t.

 

“I can’t hear you.  What’s going on?” Clint said, his voice rising.  His voice had been louder than normal from the beginning, as if… as if he couldn’t tell how loud he was being.

 

Natasha looked at Steve, her eyes wide and filled with tears.  “Steve, he can’t hear me. I think…”

 

The rumbling started again.  Steve turned to see the tank coming toward them.  He was worried about Clint, but the main problem now was keeping his friends safe from another blast of that tank.  

 

“Talk through his mind.  Get both of you to safety,” Steve commanded.

 

“What are you going to do?” she asked.

 

He started to walk forward.  “I’m gonna go stop the tank.”

 

Steve had to make his way through the fighting to get close to the machine.  At one point, he was back to back with Dum Dum, working together against three fighters.  Two of the agents had knives and the metal flashed as they slashed at Steve. The last fighter had two hammers.  Dum Dum concentrated on that man.

 

“C’mon, Malcolm, I always beat you in sparring.  You really think you can beat me now?” Dum Dum taunted, dodging an attack and knocking one of the hammers out of his hand.

 

The agent didn’t respond, just swung again.

 

Steve lifted one of the agents and swung him in a circle.  He hoped Dum Dum would duck in time. Looking around after he knocked out the agent that had just been his bat, he saw Dum Dum giving him a thumbs up, trying to catch his breath.

 

“We can’t let the tank get into the main part of camp,” Steve said, also breathing hard.

 

“What do you wanna do?”

 

“You help Falsworth and once you’ve knocked everyone else out, keep an eye on them and keep this part of camp protected.  I’ve got the tank,” Steve replied.

 

“Better you than me.  Good luck,” Dum Dum said, tipping an imaginary hat to him as he went to help Falworth with the few remaining agents.

 

Steve turned and faced the tank.  He had a moment to think  _ This is crazy _ , before he was running toward it as fast as he could.  The barrel turned toward him as he approached and Steve pushed himself forward, trying to get to the machine before it shot again.  He leaped towards the barrel and swung himself around it, pulling hard. The metal slowly bowed until it was bent over itself.  

 

Secure in knowing his friends were safe from potential blasts, Steve turned to the entrance of the cockpit just in time to see an agent pointing a gun at him.  He had a moment to recognize Gabe Jones from Bucky’s memories before Steve threw himself to the side to avoid being shot. He got mostly out of the way but still felt the burn of the bullet grazing him.

 

Hissing with pain, Steve jumped forward, knocking the gun out of Gabe’s hand and pulling him out of the tank.  Another agent was inside the tank and he picked her up in his other hand and relatively gently hit their heads together.  He threw Gabe into the bushes nearby, grabbed a grenade out of the belt of the second agent, then sent her after him. Unclipping the grenade, he dropped it in the cockpit and leaped from the tank.  He grabbed both agents he had thrown to safety as he sprinted away from coming explosion.

 

“Get down!” he shouted to Dum Dum and Falsworth.  They seemed to have taken care of all the agents, with them lying at their feet.

 

They both ducked just as Steve was blasted off his feet.

 

He really should have suspected a tank blowing up wouldn’t be a gentle occasion, but he was still surprised by the amount of force that propelled him through the air.

 

Steve must have momentarily blacked out because when his eyes next focused, he was looking up at Dum Dum.

 

“You okay?” Steve croaked.

 

Dum Dum rolled his eyes.  “Guy blows up a tank and asks if  _ I’m _ alright.  Dumb piece a shit.  Bucky’d kill you if he saw you pull that.”

 

Steve eased himself into a sitting position.  “Well he didn’t, and if he asks, you get full credit.”

 

He looked around.  There was a lot of fire.  Red Room agents bodies were littering the ground around him.  Dum Dum was holding himself at an odd angle, arm tight against his side.  The left side of Falsworth’s face was a combination of deep red and purple.  Both of them had blood staining their clothes and hands.

 

Steve didn’t look much better.  His side ached where the bullet had grazed him.  His entire body hurt from the blast. He might have a concussion, and if he didn’t, he had a wicked headache.  The stitches Coulson had done on his arm had torn out and he was bleeding again.

 

He took as deep a breath as he could before saying, “Can you guys keep this area secure?  I’m going to go help the others.”

 

“Steve, you just got blown up.  Stay here with us and hold the line,” Falsworth said.

 

“No,” Steve said, struggling to his feet.  “I have to help the others. I have to find Bucky.  I can’t stop until the entire camp is safe.”

 

He sprinted away but not before he heard Dum Dum muttered, “Heroic dumbass,” under his breath.


	35. Chapter 35

There was chaos everywhere Steve went after he left Dum Dum and Falsworth.  As far as he could tell, the Red Room had brought all available agents in to surround and infiltrate Shield.  And although many of the kids at Shield had been trained in combat, most of them were no match for the fully trained, unfeeling assassins they were fighting.

 

Steve tried not to step on fallen campers and agents as he fought his way towards Thor, who was fighting grimly beside his brother.  Loki was sweating, the toll of trying to invade so many minds at the same time wearing him down. He looked just like Natasha had after the hospital, but still, he kept going, Thor taking out anyone who got too close.

 

“You guys got this?” Steve shouted as he punched an agent unconscious.

 

“This is a battle we can win ourselves.  Go help the others,” Thor boomed back, getting into a fighting stance in front of Loki, daring anyone to get close to him or his brother.

 

Steve hated to leave his friends, but he did think they could handle themselves, and right now, other people might need him more.

 

He heard the sound of what might have been Tony’s gauntlet’s firing across camp and ran through the center to get to him.  It was eerily empty in the heart of Shield with everyone on the outskirts of camp fighting. He passed the medical bay and forced more energy into his legs to push him forward faster.  Steve couldn’t let any of the enemy get to the people who were already sick or injured. Not when he still had strength enough to protect them.

 

When he got to where he had heard the gauntlet go off he found, not Tony, but Pepper wielding one of the metal gloves.  She was fighting alongside Morita and a couple other campers who Steve recognized, but couldn’t name.

 

“How you guys holding up?” Steve shouted as he joined the fray.

 

“They took two of our people.  Both Reds,” Pepper called, ducking a punch and returning one of her own.

 

“Have you seen any adults or just the kids?” Steve asked.

 

“Just kids here.  We’re trying to be nonlethal but they aren’t doing the same!” Pepper replied, getting a moment to swipe her hair out of her face now that her last opponent was down.  “I don’t know how much longer we can do this, Steve. I heard they have a tank.”

 

“I took care of that.”

 

She looked him up and down.  “Your appearance makes sense now.”

 

Steve looked down at himself.  He was bleeding and singed around the edges.  He nodded ruefully. “Can you hear more fighting?”  

 

_ Can you hear Bucky? _ he wanted to ask, but forced himself to focus.

 

Pepper’s eyes sharpened as she expanded her awareness around her.  “There are a few fights going on to the east. But both Tony and Bruce are there, so those campers should be alright.  West of us is quiet, same as north where you came from. Either we’re winning or this was never about getting everyone in camp under their control.”

 

“You think it has something to do with the Reds,” Steve guessed.

 

“The former Red Room agents told us about how their numbers had been dwindling.  If they needed more people, this is the best place in the world to find them. The only question is, how did they find us?” she asked.

 

“...I can only think of one way,” Steve said slowly.

 

“What’s that?”

 

“Bucky’s tracker.  If someone activated it, then the Red Room would know our location even if they didn’t know we were a camp for runaway kids.  They might have just thought at first that one of their agents were in trouble and then realized what was actually happening.”

 

“Maybe, but who would give up Shield’s location?” Pepper asked.  Her eyes widened suddenly. “Get down!”

 

An explosion knocked them both to the ground.  Steve's ears rang as he looked around. Pepper was lying next to him, unconscious.  There were people walking towards him, odd shapes he couldn’t make out. He blinked and they became vaguely human.  Blinked again and saw a line of Red Room agents with kids either slung over their shoulders or being carried between them walking towards him.

 

He tried to move.  His limbs felt heavy, like they were a weight that even he couldn’t lift.  Even keeping his eyes open was proving to be difficult. His ears were nothing but a high pitch whine.

 

Unsurprisingly, after being blown up for the second time today, his body wasn’t responding well.

 

Steve was turned over and a machine was thrust in his face.

 

“Blue,” someone said in a monotone voice.  It was the same kind of voice Bucky had used when he had been under control.

 

The machine disappeared from Steve’s sight.  He heard the same voice say a few feet to his side where Pepper lay, “Red.”

 

There was shuffling and Steve forced his eyes open, forced himself to lift his head just in time to see Pepper be draped over the shoulders of one of the agents.

 

“No,” he groaned, trying to drag himself forward.  He couldn’t let any more of his friends be taken by the Red Room.  Not again.  

 

The line of Red Room agents and their unconscious captives started moving again.  Steve tried to follow them, tried to go after the campers who were going to be taken away, turned into killers, ripped from themselves.  

 

He got a few yards forward when the end of the line came level with him.  Steve looked up to see an adult in charge of the agents standing there. He wanted to stand, face him, and fight.  But he could barely support himself on his injured arm anymore. His vision was hazy. Everything inside him was raging for a fight, but he couldn’t force his body to cooperate.

 

The agent lifted a foot and brought it down on Steve’s face.

 

There was a flash of pain.  Then everything went black.


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Twenty chapters to go! A lot is going to happen between now and then...

Waking up was an unpleasant experience.  Not just because Steve hurt everywhere and being conscious meant having to face all the aches and pains of his body.  But also because he knew he would have to face the fact they had lost campers. Either because the Red Room agents had killed them or because they had been kidnapped to become killers, they were gone.

 

He forced himself to open his eyes.  He was no longer in the forest, but also wasn’t in the medbay.  Looking around, he realized he was on a cot in the tech lab. Tony was bustling around, muttering to himself.  He looked like he hadn’t slept in days.

 

With a pang, Steve remembered that Pepper had been among the ones taken by the Red Room.

 

“Tony…” he said hesitantly.

 

Tony swung around.  Multiple emotions went over his face as he looked at Steve before it just crumpled.  “Steve…” he said brokenly.

 

“I’m so sorry, Tony,” Steve croaked.  It was hard to talk around his dry throat, but he forced the words out.  They sounded nasally and he briefly wondered if his nose was broken before he continued.  “I tried to save her. I swear. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t.”

 

“Steve, it’s not your fault.  If anyone’s, it would be mine,” Tony said tiredly.

 

When Steve looked at him quizzically, Tony sighed and ran a hand down his face.  “That tracker? The one in Bucky’s arm? I just left it out of one of my tables where anyone could find it.  And someone did.”

 

“Who?” Steve demanded.

 

“We think…” Tony sighed then continued.  “We think it might have been Lee. He was seen leaving with the Red Room, but he wasn’t being taken.  He walked out of camp with them. So we think he triggered the tracker and then helped the Red Room with the attack.  Nothing is certain, but we do have multiple eyewitnesses saying he left of his own volition.”

 

“That little fucker…” Steve swore, shaking his head.  “I knew he hated the Red Room agents we had here, especially Bucky, but to put them in a situation where they could go back under control again…”

 

Tony nodded, looking sick.

 

“How many were taken?” Steve forced himself to ask.

 

“Twenty-three Reds,” Tony replied quietly, looking at the wall.  “And nine Oranges.”

 

Steve closed his eyes.  He could have done so much better.  He could have saved so many more people, stopped the Red Room from ruining so many lives.

 

“Wait, did you say Oranges?  They took Oranges, too?” Steve demanded, realizing what Tony had said.

 

Tony nodded.  “We don’t know why yet, but I bet they needed more people to brainwash their agents.”  Tony sighed. “They got Loki. Took five agents to take down Thor as they dragged him away.”

 

Steve lowered his head.  He had left Thor and Loki to their own devices and Loki had been taken.  

 

“Steve… Pepper wasn’t the only one of the Reds we knew who was taken,” Tony said hesitantly.

 

Steve pushed himself to sit up.  “They didn’t get Dum Dum, did they?  His sister just got him back, she can’t lose him again.”

 

“No, no, it wasn’t Dum Dum.”  Tony wouldn’t look Steve in the eye.

 

Dread started to swell in Steve’s body.  “Tony… who was it?”

 

“He was trying to protect a group of kids.  A group of agents swarmed him and he couldn’t fight all of them, especially with only one arm.  Coulson,” Tony paused again and winced before continuing, “Coulson tried to save him. But um.” Again, Tony faltered.  “The agents shot him. Coulson, I mean. He’s, uh, he’s not doing too good right now. And... they took him. Steve, they took Bucky.”

 

It was strange, after so many weeks of being happy, joyful, in love, for Steve to feel himself go numb again.  After so many emotions, after feeling so alive for the first time in two years, it should have hurt to have that stripped away once more.  To feel like a shell of what he was, with echoes of the past bouncing around in his head. Instead, he didn’t feel anything.

 

“And the kids?” he heard himself ask.

 

Tony looked at Steve, obviously not sure what to say.  “What kids?”

 

“The kids Bucky was protecting.  Did they get away?”

 

Tony looked at the wall again.  Shook his head. He seemed to steel himself for something and turned back to Steve again, face worn from the strain of the last few days.

 

“They came in here.  Took the arm with them,” he said without preamble, as if by saying it quickly, Steve wouldn’t have the final confirmation that the person who Steve loved more than anyone else in the world was being turned back into an unthinking killer.

 

Without a word, Steve got out of bed.  His body screamed at him as everything from cuts to bruises protested his movements.

 

“Whoa, Steve, you have to take it easy and let your body heal.  You’re in bad shape. You need rest.”

 

“Tony,” Steve said without any inflection or emotion.  “I need you to get out of my way.”

 

They looked at each other for a moment.  Both of them were hurting. Both of them had lost someone they loved.  There was understanding in each of their gazes. After a long moment, Tony nodded and stood aside.

 

Steve nodded his thanks once before he left the lab.  There were too many memories of Bucky in there, ogling whatever new project Tony had going.  But as he got outside, he realized memories of Bucky were everywhere. There was where he had kissed Bucky on the forehead.  There was the mess hall where Bucky had stolen off Steve’s plate and sat on his lap. There was the gym where they had sparred each other.  Each place and the memory attached to them felt like a punch to the gut. Steve wanted to turn and walk into the trees, to avoid the pain and just not think for a while.  But even the trees held the memory of the day the attack had happened, when they had just held each other under the branches.

 

Instead, he went to the med bay.  Every bed was full, and there were extra cots around the room, making it difficult to maneuver around them.  He saw a familiar face next to one of the beds and made his way over. Natasha looked as bad as Tony did. She looked up at Steve as he approached.  Clint, the occupant of the bed, was sleeping.

 

“You okay?” he asked.

 

She opened just a tiny connection between them and let him know a small amount of what she was feeling.  It was almost enough to drop him to his knees.

 

“You?” she asked, her voice sounding like when she had first gotten her muzzle off.  Like it hadn’t been used for a long time.

 

Steve cracked open a window in his mind to her and she winced.

 

“Yikes.”

 

Steve nodded, leaning against the bed to relieve his body of some of the pain he had from being upright.

 

They sat there silently, watching Clint as he slept.  

 

“I’m sorry about Bucky, Steve,” Natasha said quietly.

 

Unable to do anything else without breaking down entirely, Steve nodded.

 

_ I’m so sorry about the other Oranges, Natasha _ , he thought to her.

 

Lips pressed tight together, she nodded.

 

“Is Clint gonna be okay?” he asked.

 

Natasha curled into herself more on the chair.  “The explosion blew out his eardrums. The doctor said there’s a possibility they’ll never recover fully.”

 

“What does that mean?” Steve asked, though he thought he already knew.  He needed to hear her say it.

 

“Clint could never hear again.  We won’t know for sure until he wakes up, but he might be deaf from now on.  Hard of hearing? I don’t even know what to call it.” She wiped away a tear as she spoke, the emotion behind her tone showing in how abrupt and irritated the motion was.

 

Steve put a hand on her shoulder.  “I’m sorry,” he said quietly.

 

She glared up at him through red eyes.  “It wasn’t your fault, Steve. The dumb idiot made his choice.  He didn’t even know if he would survive, but he just… did it anyway…” she said, trailing off as more tears fell, unimpeded but unacknowledged, down her face.

 

More silence.  Steve didn’t know what to say anymore.  He didn’t know if he had the energy to even open his mouth.

 

_ I’m going to go see Coulson _ , he thought to Natasha.  Even his mental voice sounded tired.

 

_ He’s over there _ .  She sent him a mental image of a private room on the other side of the med bay.   _ But Steve, he’s not doing well _ .

 

_ I have to. _   It was all Steve could say.

 

Natasha nodded, wiping her face resolutely.  “I’ll be here if you need me,” she said, raising her chin as if daring Steve to try to take her away from Clint’s side.

 

_ No argument here.  Just don’t sleep in the chair, okay? _

 

“Yeah, alright.”

 

Steve didn’t believe her.

 

Steve made his way across the room, dodging around beds and the people surrounding them.  He saw too many faces he recognized lying injured around the room. Thor’s face was barely recognizable under all the bandages.  But he was asleep, so Steve didn’t want to disturb him.

 

He got to the door Natasha had shown him just as Fury stepped out of it.  He put up a hand to stop Steve, his face grim.

 

“I know Coulson’s not doing well, but I’d like to see him if that’s okay,” Steve said.  “To thank him for trying to save Bucky and see how I can help him now.”

 

“I’m sorry, Steve, but you shouldn’t go in there.  The injuries he sustained in the fight were too much for him.  He’s gone,” Fury said, his voice sympathetic even as his face was stoic.

 

Steve didn’t pass out, but it felt like it.  His mind went blank. One moment, he was standing in front of Fury, the next one he could remember, he was standing in the middle of his and Bucky’s room and the entire place was a mess.  The bed was overturned, the sink bowl was cracked, and the few clothes he and Bucky had were strewn across the floor. His hands were bloodied and so were the walls in places. His throat hurt as if he had been screaming a lot.

 

He couldn’t think.  He was so numb he didn’t even have the energy to right the bed to crawl into it.  Instead, he just pulled the blankets off the floor where they had fallen during his rage, slid down the wall until he was lying on the floor, and curled into himself with the blankets wrapped around him.

 

Maybe if Steve hid here long enough, he would finally disappear.


	37. Chapter 37

It was Dum Dum who came to find Steve.  He probably hadn’t expected to come into Steve and Bucky’s room to see it trashed, with Steve almost indistinguishable from the mound of blankets on the floor.  If he hadn’t have been a Red, he might not have known Steve was even there.

 

“How you holdin’ up, Steve?” he asked, closing the door but not turning on the light.

 

“Peachy,” Steve muttered.

 

Dum Dum chuckled hollowly.  “I bet.”

 

“How’s everyone?  Your sister?” Steve asked, sitting up to lean against the wall, still wrapped in the blankets.  He asked more because he felt he should more than he had the emotion to actually care. The numbness had sunk its claws too deep inside Steve to feel anything else.

 

“Fine as they can be.  My sis is okay. Little shaken, but she held her own.  Knocked out a few agents by herself, actually.”

 

Steve nodded.

 

“C’mon, Steve, you gotta get out of this room.  There’re too many memories here,” Dum Dum encouraged.

 

Steve didn’t respond.  He didn’t even move. Just stayed curled up against the wall in his blanket, staring at the ground.

 

“Alright then,” Dum Dum said, sinking down on the floor across the room.

 

“What’re you doing?” Steve asked, perplexed.

 

He shrugged.  “Stickin’ around.”

 

“Don’t gotta.”

 

“Yeah.  I know, Steve.”

 

They didn’t move.  Didn’t talk.  

 

But it helped.

 

“What’s gonna happen now?” Steve asked after a while.

 

Dum Dum sighed, looking at the ceiling the whole time he responded.  “Fury says we need to pack up camp and start taking kids to a different location.  Now that the Red Room knows where we are, we have to relocate or they might come back for more of ‘em.  We can’t handle another attack. And we can’t let any other kids be taken.”

 

“Will there be a service for Coulson?” 

 

“Probably?  Nobody’s said anything.  But it’d be a good idea. Give a lot of kids some closure.  They’ll probably need that. Honestly, we probably all need that,” Dum Dum conceded.

 

Steve nodded, his throat tight.  “He brought us donuts,” he said suddenly, not really knowing why.

 

“Yeah?”

 

“To one of our missions.  He didn’t have to, but he knew it would be an early morning and we would be tired, so he went somewhere and got us each a donut.  He got extras in case we didn’t like some of them. And he always had Natasha’s back as she scoped the field for us. Took a guy out with a fire extinguisher once to protect her.  And he saved Clint from himself when we first got here, when Loki controlled him. Coulson’s always been here. He’s made this place safe. What are we going to do without him?” Steve demanded, suddenly angry.  “This place was supposed to be a refuge, supposed to be safe. And now we’re sitting ducks. Our campers have been stolen away to become killers. And we couldn’t save them. Any of them.”

 

“We can save the ones that’re left,” Dum Dum said.

 

“That’s not enough!”

 

“Steve, for now, it has to be.  Later, once these people here are safe and we’ve gotten ‘em to a different location, we can start thinkin’ about getting the others back.”  He stood to come across the room and crouched in front of Steve. Putting a hand on Steve’s shoulder, Dum Dum looked him in the eye and said, “We won’t forget ‘em, Steve.  Any of them, okay?”

 

“I can’t,” Steve said.  “I can’t forget them. Pepper.  Any of them. I can never forget  _ him _ .”

 

He couldn’t bring himself to say Bucky’s name.  Steve was scared if he did, the fissure in his heart would break open and leave him bleeding internally.  As it was, he could hold himself together. Barely.

 

“Good,” Dum Dum said bracingly.  “Keep remembering him. Let seeing him again, freeing him again, be the thing that keeps ya going.”

 

“What if… what if this time I don’t know if I can?”

 

“Can what?”

 

“Keep going.  See him again.”  Steve swallowed, the idea of not ever seeing him again making the tear in his chest a little bigger.  “What if this time, I can’t free him?”

 

Dum Dum shrugged.  “I dunno, Steve. But when has the possibility of failure ever stopped you from trying?”

 

Steve huffed out a breath.  “Yeah. But for a little while longer... can we just sit here?”

 

“Course, Steve.”  Dum Dum shifted until he was seated next to Steve.

 

Without saying anything, Steve offered up a part of the blanket.  Dum Dum smiled slightly and took it. They stayed there, wrapped up, for a while.

 

“Thank you, Dum Dum,” Steve murmured, not looking at him.

 

He didn’t respond, but Steve knew he had heard him.  Dum Dum was a Red after all.

 

“We saved fourteen Red Room agents, did you know that?” Dum Dum said out of the blue.  “The ones that attacked us, I mean. Some of the Oranges have been working on breaking their conditioning.   No one is as practiced at it as Loki but, well... Natasha is looking after Clint, or she would help too. Though her brain still hasn’t recovered from the strain of controlling so many at the hospital.”

 

“Fourteen?” Steve asked, not believing it.

 

“Yeah, Steve.  I knew all but three of ‘em.  They were there when I was. And we got ‘em out.  It won’t be fun for ‘em, but look at me. I’m doing much better than when I first got here.  Recovery is possible. Even if it takes a bitch of a time to do it.”

 

Steve huffed out a laugh.  

 

There was more silence.  But Steve still had one more thing to say.

 

“We promised each other, Dum Dum.  Never separated again. He  _ promised _ me,” Steve emphasized, his voice breaking.

 

Dum Dum put an arm around him.  “With all the shit that’s happening today, it’s hard to keep promises.  It’s up to us to change that.”

 

Steve nodded, then forced himself to stand.

 

“Then let’s get started.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I live for Dum Dum tbh. I think I had the most fun writing his and Clint's characters in this fic.


	38. Chapter 38

All of the campers were on edge during the packing up process.  Steve didn’t know about everyone else, but he felt like a sitting duck.  The stress of not knowing if another attack was coming was affecting the entire camp.  People were more jumpy, more irritated, more closed off. The whole camp’s atmosphere was heavy.  People weren’t fooling around in the open areas anymore. They were helping pack up everything. Those who could, anyway.  There were still many full beds in the medical building.

 

Clint wasn’t in his hospital bed anymore.  He woke up the day after Steve had gone to see him.

 

He was officially deaf.

 

Not profoundly, but still.  Natasha was trying to help as much as she could, by streaming what was happening into his head so he could still hear what people were saying without actually hearing it.  Tony was working in his shop to get Clint some hearing aids as soon as possible. That in itself was a challenge, given that most of the materials he had were either scrap or formally garbage.  But he was working on it.

 

A few days after Clint had been released from the doctor’s care, Steve came across him and Natasha as he was carrying a few boxes to one of the many vans they were packing.

 

“Hey, guys,” Steve said, happy to see them.  He had thrown himself into the packing process to avoid doing anything else.  Like thinking. Or feeling. Stuff like that.

 

“Hey!  Good to see you, man,” Clint said, a little too loud at the beginning, but then his voice lowered to a more normal volume after he winced.  Natasha must be filtering what Steve said into Clint’s mind, along with Clint’s own words.

 

“How’s the packing going, Steve?” Natasha asked.

 

Steve put down the boxes he had been carrying.  He could have kept holding them, but his brain was exhausted where his muscles were not.  “It’s alright. We have most of the buildings cleared out. Just the medical bay and Fury’s office left.  The slowest part is moving things to the next camp without detection. We don’t want to give away the fact we’re leaving to the Red Room if they’re watching, so we have to be careful about it.  I might be going along with one of the vans later this week, so I can help unload. Then I’ll probably stay at the new camp and get things finished there before all of you guys are transferred.”

 

They nodded.

 

“Be careful, Steve,” Natasha said, leaning forward to give him a kiss on the cheek.

 

“I’ll try,” he said, attempting to smile.

 

“You’ve got this, dude,” Clint said, giving him a hug.  Up close, he whispered so quietly that even Steve could barely hear, “Don’t blame yourself.”

 

Steve stood there for a long time after they had walked off, trying to figure out which of the things he blamed himself for that Clint didn’t want him to.  Eventually, he just picked up the boxes and kept working.

 

It was easier that way.

 

Steve took a break to eat lunch after a little while.  A few of his friends sat and ate with him, but most of them were busy themselves.  

 

“Have you guys seen Tony recently?” Bruce asked.  “I don’t know if he’s been coming to eat.”

 

The others shook their heads.

 

“I’ll go check on him after lunch,” Steve volunteered.  For the first couple of days after the Red Room attack, he hadn’t eaten either.  Then Dum Dum dragged him to dinner one night. Being around his friends was hard, but helped him get out of his own head.  He’d have to do the same for Tony.

 

Steve walked into Tony’s workshop to almost be hit in the head with a projectile wrench. 

 

“Whoa!”  He flailed out of the way.

 

“Sorry!  Sorry, Steve, I just- ugh!”  Another tool went flying against the wall.

 

“Tony,” Steve said slowly, his hands raised defensively, “what is going on?”

 

“I can't do it, Steve!  I can't make Clint’s stupid hearing aids out of scrap.  They're too delicate and I need special parts.”

 

“Oh. Well, okay.  So we need to go on a supply run.  Right? Just buy some direct?” Steve asked.

 

“We can't do that, Steve. We're obviously in the age bracket to have powers and it's not like we have Coul-”  Tony broke off, grimacing.

 

Steve thought for a moment.  He was getting an idea. It was a bad one.  It was the kind of idea that if B-  _ he _ were here, he would put a stop to Steve.  Or stay by Steve’s side until he was safe. But he wasn’t, so Steve opened his mouth and said slowly, “Well… I know where some are we wouldn't need to buy. It’d be dangerous, but if I’m careful, I could be okay.”

 

“Where?” Tony asked. 

 

“I used to wear them until I was 14.  I might still have them at my old house, if Winifred hasn't moved since everything happened or cleared out all our stuff.  I could get them there.”

 

“Steve, that's insane.”

 

“Clint wants them, right? And you, despite trying, can't make them, correct?”

 

“Yes…” Tony said, looking irritated that he had to admit defeat.

 

“Then I’m going. I'll leave after supper. People won't be able to see me after it gets dark out.”

 

Tony still didn't look happy about the idea, but didn't say anything.

 

Steve shared his plan with the rest of the group, or what remained of it at least, later on at dinner.  Tony was there, barely eating. But he was there. 

 

“Steve, come on.  You can’t be serious,” Bruce said, looking at him incredulously.

 

“I am!  As long as Winifred hasn’t moved or gotten rid of my stuff, it’s a solid plan.”

 

“Those are pretty big ifs, Steve.  We’re just concerned you might be putting yourself at risk for no reason,” Monty said quietly, bent over his food.  Steve was surprised he voiced an opinion. Monty must be really worried to speak up.

 

“Steve… I’m not worth this,” Clint murmured.

 

Natasha looked between Clint and Steve with a conflicted look on her face.  She obviously didn’t want Steve to go into a huge city where he could get captured, but clearly thought Clint was worth the mission.

 

“You might think that, but I don’t,” Steve said, raising his chin, ready to fight.  

 

Clint’s jaw clenched.  “At least let me come with-”

 

“No.  Unless you’re willing to have Natasha come with too to channel everything that happens into your head,” Steve said.  He knew he was being harsh, but he didn’t want to put any more of his friends at risk than he already had.

 

Clint narrowed his eyes at Steve.  “Dick move, bro.”

 

Steve nodded, acknowledging it.  “But it’s true.” He sighed and leaned against the table, suddenly exhausted.  “I’ll go in and get the hearing aids. Just me so-”

 

“And me,” Dum Dum said resolutely.

 

“Dum Dum, you haven’t been on a mission yet.  Now is not the best time to start,” Sam said, not unkindly.

 

“I don’t care.  I’m from nearby, I know the area.  I can monitor our surroundings with my senses.  I’m one of the older ones here, so I can pass as an adult.  And I can fight,” Dum Dum listed, not backing down.  

 

He stared Steve down until he nodded.  

 

“Okay,” Steve said.  “We leave later tonight.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I should have a disclaimer that states that I'm not hearing impaired, so I hope that I have written Clint's storyline respectfully.


	39. Chapter 39

Luckily, Dum Dum knew how to drive.  Steve didn’t ask when he had learned or who had taught him.  In fact, they barely spoke as they made their way to Brooklyn.  By leaving when it got dark out, the amount of traffic was much less than during the day.  But as they got closer to the city, it steadily increased.

 

“Might wanna get in the back, Steve, so you’re not seen,” Dum Dum said.

 

Steve nodded and moved to the second row, then lay down.  He was immediately reminded of a different time in this van, lying on the floor with fingers combing through his hair.  Shutting down the memory, he focused on the mission.

 

The memories just kept coming though as they parked down the street from where he lived with the Barnes’.  That was the alleyway in which Steve had been saved from yet another beating by  _ him _ .  They would walk down this sidewalk to get ice cream from the place a few blocks down together when they were kids.   Steve had been helped up the front stairs by him more times than he cared to remember, either because of his asthma or due to injuries from his latest fight.

 

“This is it,” Steve said as they got to the front door.  The building had looked exactly the same as the day he left.  Same stairs. Same off-brown colored front door. Slightly worn brick outside.

 

“You sure about this, Steve?  It’s not too late to go back. We can get Clint hearing aids some other way,” Dum Dum said.

 

“What, eBay?” Steve snarked to cover his nerves.

 

“You know, that’s not a bad plan.”

 

“Yeah, except we’d need to live in a place that actually has an address to do that.  This will work. I’m fine,” Steve assured. “Let’s go.”

 

He realized, as he walked inside, that he had lied.

 

The front door wasn’t a problem.  It still had the same code from two years ago, which Steve’s fingers remembered from muscle memory more than anything else.  The stairs still creaked, making Dum Dum wince occasionally as they made their way up to the right floor.

 

The Barnes’ apartment door held a bit more of a problem.  Steve hadn’t brought his key with him the day they had run away, and even if he had, it would have been confiscated with the rest of his belongings when he had turned himself in.  He felt a momentary pang for the picture of his mother that was now lost in some Hydra warehouse or thrown away in the trash, but repressed it. He didn’t have time to think about that, especially now.

 

He reached up and ran a hand along the top of the doorway.

 

“Bingo!” he whispered to Dum Dum, brandishing a key.

 

“Seriously?  That is the most obvious place possible!” Dum Dum said incredulously and quietly.

 

Steve shrugged, opening the front door.

 

He was struck by a very odd feeling as he walked into the apartment.  This place had stopped being his home a long time ago. Probably from the moment he’d woken up with his super strength.  But for an instant, he was overwhelmed with a feeling of homesickness for the place he now stood in. He desperately wanted to go back to a time where homework and taking care of Becca and making supper on time for when Winifred got home from work were the biggest struggles in his life.  

 

But he couldn’t go back.  Only forward. So he took another step inside.

 

“This way,” he breathed, knowing Dum Dum would be able to hear him.  Steve led him down the hall, recognizing the knick-knacks Winifred used to collect on shelves and tables.

 

_ At least she hasn’t moved _ , he thought, trying to distract himself from all the traces of the person he was trying the most not to think about.  Pictures on the mantle. A baseball he had caught at one of the few professional games they had ever been able to go to.  A clay mug he had made in third grade.

 

Steve stopped in front of their bedroom door and hesitated.  Part of him almost hoped Winifred had cleared out all of their stuff, so he wouldn’t have to see all their things from a better, easier time.  But as he eased the door open, he saw everything was the same. There wasn’t even dust covering anything, so Winifred must have maintained the room while they were away.

 

He didn’t even bother asking himself why she would as he went to his bedside table.  Opening the drawer as slowly and quietly as he could, remembering how the wood it was made of had warped years ago, he focused only on the task at hand.  Anything else and he might fall apart.

 

“Steve…” Dum Dum said.

 

“Hold on, I think I’ve found them,” Steve whispered back. 

 

“But Steve-”

 

 “Got them!” he crowed quietly.

 

“We’re not alone in here,” Dum Dum said urgently, grabbing Steve’s arm.

 

“What?!” Steve asked just as the lump on Bucky’s bed Steve had assumed was a pillow moved.  Despite the darkness of the room, Steve could clearly see the small head that poked out from under the covers.

 

Becca.

 

She was so much bigger than the last time Steve had seen her.  Her birthday was in two weeks. She would turn three.  

 

So many memories went through Steve’s head as he looked at her.  Happy times he had repressed in order to survive. Blowing raspberries on her stomach to make her giggle madly.  Feeding her applesauce and making airplane noises. Even changing her diaper, however gross it sometimes was, was better than what had happened to Steve the second he had run out the door with the love of his life in his arms.

 

Dum Dum and Steve edged to the door, trying not to make a sound as they moved.  But Becca, maybe aware someone else was in the room with her, opened her eyes and looked up to see two shadowy figures.

 

And screamed.

 

“Go!” Steve said, turning and throwing the door open.  The same door that two years ago he had accidentally ripped off its hinges.  They raced down the hall, past the bathroom that Steve had broken off the handle of the toilet in, and towards the front door.

 

To be faced with a sleep-tousled Winifred Barnes brandishing a bat at them.

 

Well, shit.


	40. Chapter 40

A long time ago, Winifred Barnes had been Sarah Rogers’ best friend.  While their sons played in the living room, the two women would sip on wine coolers and talk about their days.  When Steve’s mom had gotten sick, Winifred stepped in and took even more care of him. She took him in when Sarah had died.  Steve never viewed her as another mother. He felt that would betray his real one, but she was his guardian. And he loved her for it.

 

Looking at her now, he could still feel a bit of that love.

 

But he also remembered her fear and betrayal on the day his powers had manifested.

 

 He could remember what he had felt in the split second after being told that Winifred was calling the cops on them.

 

That emotion was far stronger than any distant love.

 

“Get out of my house, you asshole!” Winifred screamed, swinging the bat she was holding wildly at Dum Dum.

 

“We’re trying, lady, if you’d just move!” Dum Dum shouted back.

 

“Did you hurt my baby?  Is she okay?” Winifred demanded.

 

“No, ma’am.  Didn’t touch her,” Dum Dum said quickly.

 

“I don’t have anything.  What did you try to take?!”

 

Steve finally stepped forward, out of the shadows behind Dum Dum.

 

“Just these,” he said quietly, showing her the two hearing aids and pack of batteries in his outstretched palm.

 

Winifred’s face went white.  She didn’t even look at what was in Steve’s hand as the bat fell to the floor with a clatter.

 

“Steve…” she whispered.  In the dim light, Steve almost thought her eyes were filled with tears.

 

He swallowed down all the emotion he was feeling.  “Hey, Winnie,” he replied. 

 

“ _ You’re alive _ ,” she cried, launching herself into his arms.

 

Steve stood frozen to the spot, hand still outstretched.  Dum Dum took the hearings aids and batteries from him and stepped away.  Steve slowly, hesitantly, put his arms around Winifred. The last time they had hugged, they had been the same height and about the same weight, too.  Now, Steve had a good head on her, and her arms didn’t circle his body the same way they had before.

 

“Oh, Steve, I’ve been so worried about you.  The authorities haven’t told us anything about where they took all the children and I’ve called and called all of our representatives, but eventually they stopped taking my calls.  I didn’t know what would happen to you-”

 

“When you called the cops on us and turned us in?” Steve asked, gently but firmly releasing himself from her embrace and putting some distance between them.

 

Winifred’s face fell.  “I swear, Steve, I never thought I wouldn’t see you for another  _ two years _ .  I thought they would take you to the hospital and give you some medicine and you’d be okay again.”

 

“How naive of you,” Steve said, unwilling to forgive her so easily.

 

A rage Steve hadn’t known he had been cultivating over the years began to rise inside him.  He had gone on countless missions to rescue kids from the government. Their parents had kept them safe until he had gotten there.  They had protected their children, sometimes going to extreme lengths to do so. In Lee’s dad’s case, he had died in the process of saving his son.

 

Winifred hadn’t protected them.  She had thrown them away.

 

Winifred flinched and looked around.  She took in Dum Dum, standing a few feet away.  She turned back to Steve and asked the question, said the name, that Steve couldn’t stand to hear, “Where’s Bucky?”

 

Steve’s jaw clenched as he tried to control himself.  He felt his eyes prickle with tears as he tried to calm down.

 

“Steve… where’s my son?  Where is Bucky?”

 

Steve shook his head, trying to get her to stop asking.  Just hearing his name was enough to tear him apart inside.  To say everything else out loud would break him.

 

“Steve!  What happened to him?!  Where is he? Is he alive?”

 

Steve nodded.

 

“Then where is my son?  Steve. Where’s Bucky?”

 

Forcing himself to open his mouth, to take a breath, Steve croaked out, “They took him.  I wasn’t enough. They took Bucky.”

 

Steve had been right.  Saying Bucky’s name would break him.  His chest felt like it was collapsing in on itself until he finally gave in and sobbed.  He backed against the wall and collapsed against it until he was sitting on the floor, unable to support himself anymore.

 

The barricade Steve had made around his heart broke and he began to cry on the floor of the kitchen.  He barely registered the other people in the room, Dum Dum’s hand on his shoulder and Winifred’s arms once again circling him.  Just cried as he faced the fact that the one person in the world who mattered to him the most was being turned into a monster again and Steve couldn’t do a damn thing about it. 

 

Hidden by his pocket, he grasped the small hologram case Tony had given him ages ago.  Even since Bucky had been taken, he had been carrying it around with him. He couldn’t bring himself to open it and see him, but it felt good to carry a piece of Bucky with him.

 

His tears finally teetered off to small hiccups.  Winifred was still holding him, patting his back and soothingly shushing him.  Dum Dum now sat next to him on the floor and leaned against him, giving silent support.

 

“Mama?  Why is the big man crying?” a high-pitched voice asked from the hallway.

 

Through his tears, Steve saw Becca standing there, rubbing her eyes.  Her hair was the same dark brown color as Bucky’s.

 

“He’s hurting, baby.  His heart is hurting,” Winifred responded, her voice hoarse.

 

Looking at her, Steve saw he hadn’t been alone in crying.  Winifred’s eyes were red-rimmed and puffy, too. She held out a hand for Becca, who slowly came towards them.  She was wary, probably because a few minutes before, he and Dum Dum had been unexpectedly in her bedroom.  

 

“Did you have her move in there when she got bigger?” Steve asked.  He had to force himself to ask the question. He felt completely drained.

 

Winifred shook her head, wiping her eyes with her free hand.  “No, she just sneaks in there most nights. Says she sleep better in Bucky’s bed.  That she feels… safer.” She stopped talking, obviously struggling with more emotion.

 

Steve looked at Becca.  “Hey, Becs. Do you remember me?  I used to be a lot smaller, before.  I’m Steve.”

 

“No.  Mama told me bout you.  And Beecky.”

 

“Bucky, baby,” Winifred corrected gently, brushing some sleep-tousled hair out of Becca’s face.

 

“Buuucky,” Becca said slowly, feeling out the word.  Then she smiled at them proudly.

 

“Good job, Becca,” Steve complimented, even though his heart broke a bit more because Becca didn’t even know who her big brother was.  He tightened his grip on the hologram case, then pulled it out.

 

“Here,” he said, activating it.  “This is Bucky. This is your brother.”

 

Becca’s eyes got wide as she saw the hologram erupt, and she tilted her head as she took in the smiling boy she saw there.  Steve felt his eyes get wet again as he looked at Bucky. He wiped his tears on his shoulder and held out the case.

 

“I want you to have it, Becca.  So you can remember your big brother.  Okay?”

 

She took it into her little hands as solemnly as an almost-three-year old could.  She looked at Bucky, at his smile, and beamed right back at him.

 

Dum Dum nudged Steve.  “We need to get going if we’re gonna get back before it’s light out.”

 

“You’re leaving?” Winifred asked.

 

“Have to.  It’s still not safe here,” Steve said.

 

“You don’t think I would turn you in again, do you?” Winifred demanded.

 

Steve considered her.  He could see none of the fear in her face that had been there the last time they had been face to face.  

 

“No,” he finally said.  “But I still can’t stay and put either of you at risk.”

 

“Here,” he said, writing down the phone number Fury had made them memorize when they first started going on missions.  “This is the number of the person in charge of where we are staying, where it’s safe. If you ever need to contact me, use that.  But don’t tell anyone. Okay?”

 

Winifred nodded, looking tearful again.

 

Steve hugged her again, more for her benefit than his.  He patted Becca on her head, even though he wanted to pull her close.  He thought that might be too much from someone she didn’t know.

 

They got to the door before Steve turned around.

 

“I’m going to save him, Winnie.  When all of this is over, I’ll bring Bucky home,” Steve said resolutely.

 

She nodded, face drawn.

 

That look stayed with Steve as he and Dum Dum disappeared down the street and drove off into the night.


	41. Chapter 41

Steve passed out soon after they had gotten into the vehicle, exhausted from crying all his repressed emotions out.  He woke up to Fury’s furious face staring down at him. His still half-asleep brain found this hilarious. His peals of laughter didn’t make Fury’s face any less angry.

 

“Rogers, do you want to explain to me why a woman called me at ass o’clock this morning asking if she could start a donation drive for our camp?” Fury demanded.

 

“Ummm… the mission didn’t go quite according to plan?” Steve said hesitantly, finally calming down.  It felt good to laugh, though. Better than crying, anyway.

 

Fury pinched the bridge of his nose.  “You’re both back safe, so you get a pass on this.  Next time, give a bit of warning.”

 

“Yessir.”

 

“Did you get what you needed?”

 

“Yessir.”

 

Dum Dum came up behind Steve and showed Fury the hearing aids and batteries.  

 

“Alright, get them to Clint.  Get some more sleep. And then I need you back to packing, okay?”

 

“Will do.”

 

Steve nudged Dum Dum’s shoulder as they walked away.  “Thanks for driving us. Sorry I wasn’t much company on the way back.”

 

Dum Dum shrugged.  “It’s alright. I don’t blame you.  Actually, would you mind taking these to Clint?  I’m about to fall over.”

 

“Of course!  Seriously though, Dum Dum, thank you.”

 

Dum Dum nodded, understanding Steve wasn’t just talking about driving them.  He headed off and Steve went to look for Clint.

 

They had gotten back to Shield just as the sun was coming above the trees.  People were milling about, some carrying boxes to the ever-present vans they were using for moving, other sleepily making their way to breakfast.

 

He came across Thor making his way across the lawn.  The bruises on his face had mostly faded, but he had a few new scars.  Between them and the obviously empty space at his side, he had a constant reminder of what he had lost.

 

“Hello, Steve.  Was your endeavor a success?” Thor asked.  The lack of force behind his words let Steve know how he was feeling.

 

“Yeah, mostly.  Maybe even more than we had hoped,” Steve said, thinking about Winifred’s change of heart, apparently so big that she wanted to find a way to help the camp.

 

“Good.  Will you be joining us for breakfast?” Thor continued, trying to smile.

 

“Maybe in a bit.  I gotta get these to Clint,” Steve replied, gesturing to the hearing aids. 

 

“Of course.  Well, we’ll see you later, then.”  There was a pause as Thor realized he had said “we” and realized the other person he was referring to wasn’t actually there.  The epiphany brought with it a momentary look of complete devastation before he controlled his expression. Steve put a hand on Thor’s shoulder in comfort and solidarity before they both steeled themselves and walked away.

 

Steve found Clint and Natasha in the gym.  All the mats and punching bags had been taken to the new camp, but that didn’t stop people from coming to blow off some steam.  If Coulson were still alive, he would either highly discourage them from fighting on the concrete floor, or just quietly supervise until his help was needed.  Steve couldn’t decide which.

 

Natasha turned to him as he walked in, Clint following just a second behind.  Both had hesitantly hopeful looks on their faces.

 

“Did you get them?” Natasha asked.

 

Steve held out his hand so they could both see the hearing aids in his palms.  “They might need a change of batteries, but I figure you might as well try them as is and finish these ones off before changing them.  I don’t know about the fit, but I figure Tony can help with that.”

 

“Alright,” Clint said quietly, not taking his eyes off them.

 

“Here,” Steve said, handing them over.  When it became clear Clint didn’t know what to do once they were in his hand, Steve showed him how he had worn them for a good five years of his life.  Maybe more. He honestly couldn’t remember.

 

“And this is to control the volume.  You can turn it up or down depending on what’s going on around and how much you wanna pay attention,” Steve finished, taking a step back.

 

Clint just stood there.

 

“Clint?  You okay?” Natasha asked tentatively, stepping forward.

 

He turned to her, a smile slowly blooming across his face.  “I heard you,” he whispered. “That wasn’t you in my head, that was actually you.”

 

Natasha started smiling too, though her eyes were watery.  “Yeah. That was all you.”

 

Clint took the two steps that separated them and pulled her into a hug.  “I can  _ hear _ you.”

 

The tears that had been forming in Natasha’s eyes spilled over as she put her arms around Clint.  Steve’s own eyes were wet. He had been so busy with helping the camp evacuate, he hadn’t been around to see how hard the situation had been for Natasha or Clint since the attack.  

 

_ I’m gonna go to breakfast.  You guys take all the time you need _ , Steve thought to Natasha.

 

She nodded her head against Clint’s shoulder, but didn’t let go.

 

Steve had almost made it to the door before he heard Clint say, “Steve!”

 

He turned back just in time to catch Clint as he threw himself at Steve and hugged him.

 

“Thank you.”

 

Steve carefully wrapped his arms around Clint.  “Tell that to Dum Dum too. But you’re welcome.”

 

They all walked together to breakfast, the sun shining down on them through the trees.  

 

After breakfast, Steve got to moving stuff out of Fury’s office.  Even with the help of others, it took three days until the only thing left was a filing cabinet.  By that point, even Steve’s enhanced arms were hurting.

 

“I’ve got this, guys.  You go rest,” he said to the rest of the movers.

 

They murmured their thanks to Steve as they left.

 

Steve took a moment to wipe the sweat off his forehead and shake out his arms before he lifted the cabinet onto his shoulder. He hissed out a breath.  The edge of the metal was digging into his shoulder, the same place so many boxes and pieces of furniture had over the past few days. Steve was halfway convinced he would have a permanent indent there from all the carrying he had done.

 

Suddenly exhausted, he decided to take a break and set down the filing cabinet a little harder than he probably should.  He heard a crack came from the bottom.

 

“Shit…” Steve muttered, sliding down the wall to check the damage.  He tilted the cabinet and a manila folder came sliding out of the bottom onto the floor.

 

...Why would Fury have a secret compartment at the bottom of one of his filing cabinets?

 

Steve’s curiosity got the better of him and he pulled the file onto his lap and opened it.

 

And froze.

 

_ “...after the energy burst, the first strain of teenagers mutations were reported.  We believe the energy of the Tesseract affected the age group already going through the most changes, in this case, puberty.  And as a result, they were given powers. We don’t know just how they were affected and the only way to find out is through observation and-” _

 

“Put down the file, Rogers,” Fury’s voice came from the doorway.

 

Steve scrambled to his feet, turning to face Fury.

 

To find himself with a gun pointed at his chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh SHIT. ANSWERS TO HOW THEY GOT THEIR POWERS INCOMING


	42. Chapter 42

“What the hell?” was all Steve could think to say.

 

“Put down the file,” Fury repeated.  He had never had the most welcoming appearance, but the look on his face now had Steve dropping the file as fast as he could.

 

“Fury, what are you doing?  What was that talking about?” Steve asked. 

 

“Nothing important,” Fury said.

 

“I find that hard to believe seeing as you’re threatening me with a gun for what I saw,” Steve replied.

 

“If you knew what was good for you, Rogers, you would put the file back where you found it and forget you ever saw it.”

 

Steve was so shocked by everything that had happened in the last minute he instinctively leaned down to do just that.  His hand had just brushed the file when his brain caught up. He straightened.

 

“No.”

 

Fury raised an eyebrow.  Somehow with the eye patch, it was even more intimidating than usual.

 

“No?” he asked mildly.  A calm before a storm.

 

But Steve felt his own storm brewing.  He hadn’t known for the two years since he’d gotten powers why they had manifested in the first place.  He and most of the other teenagers of his generation had gone to hell and back again, were damned by the fact that they had special abilities.

 

He wanted answers.  If Fury thought pointing a gun would stop him from trying to get some, he had another thing coming.  

 

Besides, having a gun pointed at him was almost a weekly occurrence for Steve.  It must be Tuesday.

 

“No.  I want to know what the hell it was talking about in that file and what it has to do with you,” Steve said decisively.

 

“None of you goddamn business is what.  Put the file back and leave, Rogers.”

 

“Fury, you’re a real son of a bitch.  Do you really think after everything I’ve been through, all the things I’ve fought against, I’m just gonna sit down and roll over now?  If you wanted that, Fury...” He moved fast, putting the arm holding the gun in a lock, dislocating Fury’s shoulder. A round fired, probably more by accident than anything else, but it went harmlessly into the wall.  Steve knocked the gun to the ground, then pushed Fury into the wall so he could pick it up himself. He turned, pointing it at its owner. “You shouldn’t have trained us so well.”

 

Fury had his jaw clenched tight to not show his pain.

 

Natasha, Clint, and Sam ran into the room, all breathing hard.

 

“We heard-” Sam started to say, but as he surveyed the room, the words died.

 

“Tell us, Fury.  Tell us what you had to do with us getting our powers.  Tell us what the Tesseract is and how it affected us.  _ Now _ ,” Steve demanded.

 

“Steve, what are you talking about?” Tony said as he came into the room, Bruce in tow.  They both looked like they had run here as well.

 

“Read this,” Steve said, stooping down to pick up the file and hand it to Tony, never taking the gun off Fury.

 

Tony opened it and began scanning the page.  Then stopped.

 

“What is this?” he breathed.

 

“I found it in the bottom of that file cabinet.  Seems he wanted to keep it hidden,” Steve replied.  He wasn’t dodging the question, he just didn’t have a better answer.  As he spoke, he saw most of the former Red Room agents in the hall. The sound of the gunshot must have been especially jarring for them.  He nodded at them, but didn’t stop to explain. Dum Dum and the others looked confused, but didn’t try to stop Steve or any of the others.

 

Tony began to read aloud, his frown getting more and more pronounced as he did so.  “ _ In the search for a new source of clean energy, scientists at Shield have discovered an item called the Tesseract.  Originally found on a deep space mission, they believe it could be the answer to unlimited, renewable energy. With the help of... Dr. Abraham Erskine _ ?  Erskine was behind this too?” Tony demanded, stepping closer to Fury.

 

Fury’s raised chin was answer enough.  The gun in Steve’s hand wavered.

 

_ “You’re a good man.” _

 

Steve had thought that Erskine had been a good man, too.  How could he be so wrong?

 

Tony flipped to another page and continued to read, “ _ We believe the energy of the Tesseract affected the age group already going through the most changes, in this case, puberty.  And as a result, they were given powers. We don’t know just how they were affected and the only way to find out is through observation and experimentation.  Already, the first of the affected teens have been collected. We have divided their powers into five groups: muscularity, ingenuity, agility, hypersensitivity, and telepathy.  Through more involved experiments, we have found the very cells in their bodies have been modified.  _ Yeah, I bet those results came from the kids who never came back from the experiments Hydra did!” Tony burst out, unable to read further.

 

Steve thought of Megan, a fourteen-year-old Green who had always had a smile for anyone.  She disappeared one day. Everyone knew where. Andrew was a quiet Purple who had made a hacky sack out of old socks and would try to make people forget where they were as they were playing, usually letting them win.  He disappeared two days before Steve’s seventeenth birthday. Ryan. Allison. Kendra. Mackenzie. Troye.  

 

So many who were just gone.

 

Remembering them steadied the gun in Steve’s hand.

 

“Fury, you really should start talking, or else you might not walk out of this room,” Steve said quietly.

 

Fury sighed.  “Shield isn’t just a camp.  It’s a secret government organization that deals with protecting the United States.  In all senses. So when a glowing rock from outer space was put in our hands, we were tasked with finding out what it could do.  The problem was once we started to tamper with it, it began to give off energy. Small and harmless at first, but it got worse. When the full amount of energy finally released, it leveled our facility.  We were still reeling from that, so we were ill-prepared afterward once reports of gifted teens came in.”

 

He straightened a bit and everyone in the room and hallway went on the defensive.

 

“Another group stepped in, one the government wasn’t as sure about, but they didn’t have much of a choice in the matter.  And then kids started to disappear. The new group was really good at keeping to their story, that they would just help the kids get back to normal and then bring them home.  But more teens were turned in or brought in against their will, and they didn’t come back. It didn’t take long for us to realize action was needed.”

 

Fury sighed.  “You’re right.  Erskine was part of the Tesseract experiment.  But as soon as he realized kids were being taken for what he had done, he came to me and told me we needed to help.  Yours wasn’t the first facility we had broken kids out of. But because Erskine died, it was the last. And then you guys started bringing kids in.  It was almost the same. Almost.”

 

He leaned his head against the wall.  “The other group is more organized than we are.   Even though support towards them is waning, they have more people on their side and more teens under their thumb.  But as parents want answers and the government can’t give them because they don’t have them, we were hoping things would change. ”

 

“What’s the other group’s name?” Clint asked.

 

“You should know by now.  You spent enough time at their main facility to find out.”

 

Steve snarled.  “Hydra.”

 

Fury nodded.

 

“So what was your guys’ plan once you kept getting people out of the different facilities?  Attack the compounds and… wait…” Bruce said, trailing off.

 

“That’s why you’ve been training us.  Not just to keep us safe. But so you’d have an army to take on Hydra,” Natasha spat.  She was so angry her control snapped a moment and the feeling of her betrayal, of being  _ used _ again swept through the vicinity.

 

Fury winced, as did some of the others.  Clint brushed his hand against Natasha’s, but didn’t take it.  A silent, small sign of support.

 

“It was going to be the only way to-” Fury started, but Sam, of all people, said, “Shut the hell up.”

 

Everyone went silent, looking at him.

 

“If you had told us from the beginning, if you had been honest, then yeah, maybe you could justify whatever crap was about to come outta your mouth.  Most of the kids here would wanna have a chance at getting a bit of revenge anyway. But instead, you went behind our backs. You used us. What, were you observing and experimenting on us here?  Just more humanely so we wouldn’t notice?” Sam demanded, but kept going before Fury could respond. “You gave us a home and made us feel safe. You made us feel  _ free _ .  And now we know it was just another kind of prison.  So you don’t have anything to say to me that I wanna hear.”

 

And with that, he walked out the door.


	43. Chapter 43

“We have to tell the others,” Tony said.  Beside him, Bruce nodded, his eyes a vibrant green. 

 

Looking around the room, Steve saw there were many fists clenched at sides and tight jaws.  The anger and betrayal was palpable. He felt it himself. But he couldn’t let this get out of hand.

 

He looked at Fury.  “I’m going to lower the gun.  I trust you won’t attack me.”

 

Fury nodded.

 

Steve took the clip out of the gun and made sure the one in the chamber was taken out before he put it on the floor.

 

He turned to Tony to address what he’d said.  “I agree. But we need more information first.  Do you think you could bring yourself to read through that and find out more for us?” he asked, gesturing to the file that had started all of this.

 

Tony swallowed, but nodded.

 

“I’ll help,” Bruce volunteered.

 

“Thanks, buddy,” Tony said.  “We’ll let you guys know what we’ve found out by dinner.”

 

Steve nodded as they left the room, navigating around the group of Reds congregated in the hallway.

 

“Can you guys check on the kids in the area and make sure they’re okay?  Hearing a gunshot in camp would probably scare a lot of them, especially after the Red Room attack,” Steve asked them.

 

“You’ve got it,” Dum Dum said, motioning for the others to follow him out.

 

It was only Clint, Natasha, Fury, and Steve in the room now.

 

“Why didn’t you tell us from the beginning?” Steve asked Fury, suddenly exhausted.

 

“Somehow, I think we would have been in a very similar situation to now, just much sooner,” Fury replied.

 

“Didn’t you ever think about the consequences if we ever found out?  How traumatizing it is to know we put our trust in someone who used us?  Again?” Clint demanded.

 

“We didn’t-” Fury protested.

 

Clint cut him off.  “You were going to. Same thing to me.”

 

This time, it was Natasha who brushed her hand against Clint’s.  But now their fingers intertwined and stayed together.

 

Fury sighed.  “Yes. We were.  At a small level, we’re fighting a war here, one most of the population doesn’t even know is happening.  We needed the force to be able to take over the camps and free the teens who have been taken prisoner there.  That was the original plan before we knew about the Red Room and brainwashing. After that, we make keeping our campers safe even higher of a priority and trained everyone even harder.  Our goal shifted to keeping the people we have saved protected. But the Red Room attack opened our eyes. Before Coulson died, we talked about how we couldn’t keep going like this, that we needed to have a plan for the future that wasn’t just hiding in the woods.  He was gone before we could come up with anything. Maybe now you know the truth, we can work together to figure something out.”

 

“Fury, I can only speak for myself here, but right now, I’m not ready to trust you enough to let you tell me what to do.  So I’ll think about options and get back to you. But I think I need to leave now. Excuse me,” Steve said, picking up the cabinet on his way out.

 

Clint was right on his heels.  Once they were out in the hallway, they turned back to see if Natasha was following.

 

They saw her stare down Fury.

 

“Natasha…” they heard Fury say, more emotion in his voice in that one word than there had been in the whole of the conversation they had just had.

 

Before he could say anything more, she turned away from him and walked to join Steve and Clint.

 

“What was that?” Clint asked, taking her hand in his again.

 

“I was just showing him what would happen if he tried to betray us again.  It involved his own straight jacket,” she replied coolly.  

 

Clint looked at her apprehensively.  “You’re scary sometimes, you know that?  Brilliant, but scary.”

 

“Don’t quote Harry Potter at me right now.”

 

 “Yes, ma’am.”

 

Steve put the last filing cabinet in the moving van.  There wasn’t a whole lot in there, honestly. Most of the stuff from Fury’s office had already gone to the next camp in vans the previous day.

 

He had been feeling an itch under his skin ever since he had seen the contents of that file.  It was the same restless feeling he would get when he saw bullies picking on people, that drove him to step in.  It was the feeling Bucky had always recognized in his eyes and realized that something was about to happen.

 

He turned to the other two.

 

“Do you guys wanna get out of here for a little bit?” he asked impulsively.

 

They looked at him, incredulous.  As soon as the words had been out of Steve’s mouth, he’d known it was a dumb idea that could even lead to recapture.  But at the same time, just as he had said it, he realized that would be the only way he would feel better after the shitshow that was this afternoon.

 

“Steve… are you crazy?  We could get caught!” Clint said.

 

“I know, I know, just… I need to get away.  Just for a while. Even if it’s just to take this van to the next camp.  Please. I can’t drive myself,” Steve pleaded.

 

“One sec.”  Natasha’s eyes unfocused for a moment.  When they refocused, Steve saw the same glint in her eyes that mirrored his.  “Alright, I just asked one of the moving drivers the way and where the keys are.  We doing this or not?”

 

Clint stared at them, open-mouthed.  “Guys…”

 

Natasha quirked an eyebrow at him.  “You coming?”

 

He looked between the two of them and then threw up his hands.  “Fuck it, okay, yes. If we go back to Hydra, at least it’ll be for something that makes us feel free.”

 

“That’s the spirit,” Natasha said, smirking as she leaned forward to press a kiss on Clint’s cheek.  “I’ll let the others know what’s going on.”

 

They had to rearrange the back a little bit so they could put up one of the middle seats for Steve.  Once everyone was buckled, they sat there a moment before Natasha instructed, “Head out of camp and when you get to the main road, hang a left.”

 

They were on the road already when she said, “I told the others, and they think this is a stupid idea.  But they also understand.”

 

“Good,” Steve replied.  

 

They started through camp, but had to suddenly stop as a figure stepped in front of them.

 

“Shit!” Clint said, stomping on the brakes.

 

The side door was thrown open and Sam stood there.

 

“What, you think you’re leaving without me?” he asked.  He was trying to joke, but Steve could see the anger still present in his eyes.

 

Steve huffed out a laugh.  “Nah. C’mon, we need to rearrange again.”

 

They did a quick move around in the van to free up another spot and were on their way again.  As they got further from camp, Steve felt the tension in his chest ease more and more.

 

“Fuck…” he muttered, leaning back heavily in his seat.

 

Clint looked at him in the rearview mirror and nodded.  “Seriously, dude. Like, I’m still reeling.”

 

Natasha and Sam nodded in agreement.

 

They drove on, Natasha speaking up occasionally to give more directions, but otherwise just sitting and thinking in silence.

 

“Do you think Erskine would have told us if he had lived?” Steve asked suddenly.  He had wanted to ask that ever since they had found out Erskine had been part of the Tesseract project.

 

“I’d like to think so.  He was a good guy,” Clint said.

 

_ You’re a good man _ .

 

“How can we tell the good guys from the bad guys anymore?” Sam asked.

 

They thought about it for a while.

 

“I don’t know,” Steve said quietly.


	44. Chapter 44

Things were going fine.  Until they ran out of gas.

 

Whoever was actually going to drive the van to Shield’s new location had probably been an adult, so it wouldn’t have been any problem for them to stop at a gas station and fill up the tank.  But when they had taken over the task of driving, the teens hadn’t really considered that potential problem.

 

At least, until Clint swore from the front seat.

 

“What? What is it?” Steve demanded, immediately scanning the road in front of them for a blockade of bounty hunters.

 

“Gas light just came on.  We’re gonna have to stop soon if we want to get to the other camp,” Clint replied grimly.

 

“Shit…” Sam said softly.

 

“Alright, who looks the oldest here?” Steve said, not letting him stop to think of all the things that could go wrong with being back in society.  

 

They looked at one another.

 

“Probably you, Steve,” Sam answered hesitantly.

 

Steve nodded.  It seemed right that it was him, seeing as this had been his stupid idea in the first place.

 

“Okay, Clint, find somewhere we can fuel up.  Natasha, can you look in the glove box and see if there’s any cash in case of something like this happening?  Otherwise, we’re screwed either way.”

 

“Yeah, hang on,” she said, opening it and rummaging through.  “Aha!” she said, pulling out an envelope. “There’s a lot in here, but I’ll give you sixty, just to be safe.  I don’t know how big the tank on this thing is.”

 

“Alright, so when we get there, I’ll get out and pump.  Natasha, how’re your powers doing after the hospital?” Steve asked.

 

“Better,” she said.  “It didn’t hurt when I helped Clint hear what was happening, and the more I did that, the more I felt I could do.”

 

“Good.  You keep an ear out for anyone thinking I look suspicious and if they try to raise an alarm, stop them.  Clint, when you get there, try to keep to the outskirts. I want us as much off the cameras as possible.”

 

“You got it,” Clint replied.

 

“What do you want me to do?” Sam asked.

 

“If I need back up, you come and help me out.  Otherwise, watch out for these two,” Steve said.

 

Sam nodded.

 

Steve didn’t know about the other teens, but he started to feel twitchy the more into the next town they got.  Apart from the trip to get Clint his old hearing aids, he hadn’t been around normal people in a long time. He wondered momentarily, once all this was over, if he would be able to be around people like he had before.  Or maybe his time in Hydra and Shield had changed him permanently, making it hard to be around others for the rest of his life.

 

_ You have to get through this in order to see, Rogers _ , he thought to himself sternly, forcing the thought out of his mind.

 

Clint pulled up to one of the farthest pumps at the gas station.

 

“Alright.  Keep an eye out, guys,” Steve said before stepping outside.

 

And felt instantly exposed.

 

There were only a few other cars at the gas station, but Steve felt like every single person was staring at him as he walked around the van.  He tried to straighten his back as much as possible, walk as confidently as he could, to not give away the fact he shouldn’t be there. 

 

_ How’re we doing, Natasha?  _ he asked her mentally.

 

_ They’re curious about you.  Not cause you’re young, but because they don’t recognize you.  I think it’s a small town thing,  _  she replied.

 

_ Makes sense _ , he said, then paused.   _ That doesn’t make me feel any better though. _

 

Natasha sent a wave of humor down their connection.

 

It had been so long since Steve had done something as normal as fill up a gas tank that he had to follow the directions step by step to know if he was doing it right.  Eventually, he closed the gas tank and, taking a deep breath, headed inside to pay.

 

_ Do we want any food? _ he asked Natasha.  The tank hadn’t needed the full sixty dollars she had given him, so he figured they could get something if they were hungry.

 

_ Clint wants coffee.  Sam and I are okay. _

 

_ Alright. _

 

Steve grabbed the biggest possible cup for coffee and filled it up.  He was constantly twitching at small sounds, from the bell on the door ringing as someone walked out, to the hum of the fridge section, to the news the cashier had on behind the counter.

 

He brought the coffee to the counter.  The lady sitting there barely looked at him as she rang him up.

 

“This just in, breaking news about what the government has decided to do with the millions of children across the country who were taken away from their families after surges of unnatural powers,” Steve heard, his head snapping up to look at the television as the anchor spoke.

 

_ Natasha, get in here.  Now. _

 

_ Steve, what-? _

 

He streamed what was happening on the screen to her and in less than a minute, the others were tumbling into the gas station, surrounding Steve to listen in as well.

 

“The spokesperson of Hydra, the government branch in charge of these children, Alexander Pierce made a statement today that the children will be returned to their families in the coming year.”  They cut to a man with sandy gray hair. At the sight of him, Steve felt Natasha freeze beside him.

 

 Pierce’s voice came over the speakers.  “We are beginning to initiate a program to reintroduce these children into normal society.  Many of them have gained control of their powers in their time at Hydra facilities, though a few will have to be released under a caretaker in order to live regularly given their not-regular abilities.  We believe in time, these young men and women will become the backbone to our society, pushing us into a new age of prosperity in America.”

 

“What a bunch of horseshit,” the cashier muttered.

 

“Now, I must be the bearer of bad news.  Some of the children, while trying to gain control of their powers, became overwhelmed and succumbed to their unknown abilities.  For a full list of all the names of those tragically lost, please follow the link on your screen now. More details will come as we go forth.”

 

The cashier gasped and immediately pulled out her phone, typing frantically what Steve assumed was the link Pierce had provided.  She scrolled and scrolled. Steve wondered just how long the list was, then she stopped and let out a shuddering sob she stifled by covering her mouth.

 

“Ma’am?  Are you okay?” Steve asked hesitantly.

 

The woman, hand still over her mouth, shook her head frantically.  She turned the screen to face Steve and the others and pointed at one of the names, then gestured towards herself.  She was sobbing too hard to say anything, but they knew what she meant anyway.

 

Steve felt his heart break a little bit as she clutched her phone to her chest, the only way she would close to her child again.

 

In an instant, Clint put his coffee down on the counter, apparently forcefully enough for some to spill onto his hand if his muttered “Aw, coffee, ow” was any indication, and vaulted over the counter to gather the woman against his chest.  Her hand left her mouth to cling to him and the noises that came from her… Steve’s own eyes watered and he did nothing to stop the flow of tears.

 

“What happened?  What happened? They were sup-supposed to protect him, what happened?” she demanded.  Her voice started as a whimper, but ended in a scream of rage and despair.  

 

Clint didn’t even try to answer, just tightened his grip on the sobbing woman.  His face was screwed up in pain and anger, but he couldn’t seem to choose which to act on. 

 

“You should close up,” Natasha said suddenly, her voice scratchy.  

 

Steve looked over at her, seeing tears run down her cheeks as she clenched her fists against the amount of emotion she could feel from the woman.  

 

“Close up here and go home to Bill.  You two need each other right now,” Natasha continued.

 

The woman nodded, her eyes slightly unfocused she pulled out of Clint’s grasp and began to bustle about, turning off machines and turning off lights.  

 

Her phone was still on the counter.  Unable to help himself, Steve grabbed it and started to frantically scroll himself.  He paused every once in a while, checking for the names of his friends. Whoever the woman had been looking for, they had been towards the bottom of the list.  Steve just had to go downwards to find “Wilson, Sam” listed before he began to go upwards.  

 

He found all the names of his friends who had been with him at Hydra, even those who were in the Red Room.  “Romanoff, Natasha,” “Odinson, Thor,” and “Dugan, Tim” were all listed, along with the others. But Steve kept scrolling until he got to the B’s.

 

He had to know.

 

Steve’s lungs seized when “Barnes, James” was there, illuminated on the screen in front of him.

 

“Steve?  You okay?” Sam asked, putting a hand on Steve’s shoulder.  

 

He barely felt it.

 

Steve felt the parallel to the cashier’s earlier movement as he held out the phone to Sam and showed him Bucky’s name.

 

“Oh shit…” Sam muttered.  “C’mon, Steve, leave the phone.  Let’s get out of here.”

 

Steve didn’t remember putting down the phone or getting outside, but the next thing he knew, he was huddled on the sidewalk, Sam sitting beside him, telling him to breathe.

 

“S-sorry,” he said, his breaths still coming fast and hard. 

 

“You don’t have anything to apologize for, Steve.  That was… scary to see,” Sam replied.

 

“We were… we were all on there.  All of us,” Steve said, slowly getting his breathing under control.  “Not just him. But all of us at Shield. Red Room too.”

 

“Shit,” Sam muttered.  “That’s gonna kill my mom.”

 

“Fuck.  Winnie, too,” Steve murmured, lifting his face to the sky.  “She’s gonna call Fury, I guarantee.”

 

“He deserves that,” Sam said, the look on his face unforgiving.

 

Natasha and Clint joined them, the cashier walking past them until she got to her car and drove off.  As soon as she was out of sight, Natasha sighed and plopped onto the curb next to Steve.

 

“Goddammit,” she muttered, finally wiping her face.  

 

Clint sat down on the other side of her, one hand full of his huge coffee, the other going around Natasha’s shoulders to pull her into his side.

 

The only sound for a few long moments was the highway on the other side of the parking lot.

 

“Pierce was there.  The time I brainwashed the Reds.  He was the one who forced me to do it,” Natasha said, her voice empty of emotion.

 

“And he’s in charge of all of us,” Sam said, wiping a hand down his face.

 

“Plus everyone in the Red Room and at Shield is on the list of the kids who died, so they could either kill us or use us to kill others, and there will be no repercussions,” Steve continued.

 

“Well, fuck,” Clint said, summing up all that Steve was feeling in that moment quite eloquently.

 

“What are we gonna do?” Sam asked, looking at Steve.

 

Glancing on either side of him, he found all three of his friends staring at him.  He almost said he didn’t know, that he didn’t have a plan. Well, maybe…

 

“It’s crazy,” Steve warned them.

 

Clint’s smirk was illuminated by the lights of the parking lot.

 

“Perfect,” he replied.


	45. Chapter 45

“You were right, this is crazy,” Clint said as he drove.

 

“I told you, you don’t have to come along,” Steve replied from the back seat.

 

“Fuck that.  I’m going, it’s just… this plan is crazy,” Clint repeated.

 

Steve didn’t say anything in response, cause it wasn’t like Clint was wrong.  

 

Breaking into Hydra was definitely a crazy plan.

 

As much as Steve wanted to forget his time there, he couldn’t.  So he remembered there was a broadcast room in one of the buildings on the base.  When Pierce had been on TV, Steve had recognized the room behind him.

 

The problem was, they didn’t actually know how to get their message out to the rest of the world.

 

Which is why Steve was currently picking up the radio in the back of the van.

 

“Come in Tony.  Tony, come in. It’s Steve.  Over,” he said, hoping Tony would be having another sleepless night in his lab.

 

“This is Jane, Steve.  Tony is in the middle of welding Sam’s wings.  Do you want me to get him?” Jane, the little Green that Thor was enamored with, asked.

 

“Yes please, it’s important,” Steve replied.

 

“Hang on,” she said and there was silence in the van as they waited.

 

“Hey guys, you at the other camp yet?  Sam, I’m making good progress on your wings, wait til you see!” Tony said.

 

“That’s awesome, Tony.  Um… listen. Something’s come up,” Steve said hesitantly.

 

There was a pause.  “As in you’re about to be captured or you’re all striking out on your own?  I need you to be more specific.”

 

Steve took a deep breath before saying, “As in Hydra put us all on a dead list when they announced they were going to be releasing all children under their care and we need to break into the facility to let the country know what is actually happening.”

 

“Oh good, that’s so much worse,” Tony replied faintly.  “What do you need from me?”

 

“You’re our best expert on technology.  None of us would know how to get the message out as we record it other than you.  We need to let people know what’s really been happening in the last two years. And what’s happening with the kids now.  So… we need your help to broadcast that message. From Hydra,” Steve finished, trying to sound confident.

 

“I’m sorry, repeat that last part?” Tony said.

 

Steve sighed, then replied, “We need to break into Hydra to broadcast from the room they have there.  That’s where Pierce gave the announcement from.”

 

“Why don’t we just go to any other news source that exists and give them the scoop of their lives instead?” Tony asked.

 

“Because there’s a chance that not everyone could see it.  If we just do the story with one news source, the other ones would be reporting it indirectly.  It might get muddled. Or they might choose to not report it at all. We can’t risk it. Which is why we need you.  You could get the recording out to everybody.”

 

“Are we talking the entire country or further than that?” Tony asked apprehensively. 

 

Steve looked at the others in the van, who shrugged.

 

“Start with the country, see if it’s even necessary to go global?  From what Fury has said, the Tesseract seemed to affect just teens in the United States.  It might just be a part of that. But because we don’t know, we have to cover all the possible bases,” Steve said.

 

“Okay.  I can do that.  I think, anyway.  It’ll be fine. Um, how are we all going to get to Hydra?  Do we even know where it is?” 

 

“Sort of?” Steve said hesitantly.  “We know the general location just from going there and escaping, and once we get close, we can have Natasha sense the guards and close in on it.  As for you… do you have any way of getting here without us going back to Shield?”

 

Sam grabbed the radio out of Steve’s hand.  “Preferably without using my wings, please. I wanna be the first one to take those babies for a spin.”

 

“Well.. I have been working on these boot-type things that are similar to my gauntlets.  They’re still prototypes, but hey, sometimes you gotta run before you walk, right?!” Tony said with only a little amount of sarcasm to go along with his enthusiasm.

 

“Um, sure,” Steve replied, slightly concerned about Tony’s well being, but more worried about what would happen if Tony couldn’t get there.

 

“Alright, I’ll suit up and be in the air in like, ten?  I’m gonna run a few more tests and then head out.”

 

“Okay.  Natasha will keep you in the loop once you get close.  Just go to these coordinates in the meantime,” Steve said, listing off the location they would start at before honing in on the base.  “Fly safe, Tony.”

 

“Yeah, you might hear from me in the next fifteen minutes cause I’m grounded, but we won’t know until we try.  See ya!” Tony said, signing off.

 

Clint banged his head against the steering wheel as he drove.  “This is such a bad idea. If Tony is going along with it, then we’re all gonna die.”

 

Natasha nodded from the passenger seat.

 

“C’mon guys, it might work.  And if something does happen,” Steve trailed off, not really wanting to think about how he could easily be leading his friends into either capture or death, “at least it’ll be so people can know the truth about what’s been happening for the last two years.”

 

They drove in silence for a few hours, all lost in their own thoughts.  Natasha had needed to get Clint’s attention every once in a while when she could tell he was wandering in his thoughts too much to be safe on the road.

 

“Steve Rogers, come in.  Steve, pick up,” Fury’s voice came over the radio.

 

All the teens looked at one another.  Sam finally shrugged.

 

Steve answered, “Yeah, Fury, it’s Steve.  What’s up?”

 

Natasha rolled her eyes at Steve’s forced casual tone.  

 

“What’s this bullshit I hear about you breaking into Hydra?” 

 

“Oh, that.”  Steve smiled a bit as Clint snickered.  “Yeah, we were feeling nostalgic so we figured we pay them a visit.”

 

“This isn’t a joke, Steve!  Has it occurred to you that you could be leading your friends to their deaths?” Fury asked.

 

Suddenly serious, Steve bit out, “Do you think I don’t know that, Fury?  We have to let people know what all of us have been going through the last two years.  The parents have to know that they’ve been lied to. They have to know the real mess their kids have been in.  A mess you had a hand in creating, I’ll remind you.”

 

Sam whistled quietly at Steve’s words.

 

“I remember that, Steve.  But just think, if you let them know what’s really been happening, you will be letting out Shield’s completely confidential existence.”

 

“Maybe you should be known.  Then everyone can know the role you all had in this hell too.  To me, Hydra and Shield are two sides of the same coin right now.  You’re connected. And the only way to get rid of one to get rid of both.  And that’s a sacrifice all the kids who have died for your mistake deserve for us to make.”

 

It was silent on the other end of the radio for a long time.

 

“Looks like you’ve made up your mind, then.  Try not to get captured or killed,” Fury said, signing off.

 

Steve didn’t bother replying.  

 

They kept driving.

 

Suddenly, Natasha straightened.  “I can feel Tony. Clint, pull over when you can.”  

 

They had only been parked a minute or so when they heard an odd noise.  They all got out of the van to look around.

 

“Huh.  Honestly, I have to say I’m impressed he got here at all,” Sam mused, looking up at the approaching figure who had to be Tony.

 

He had his gauntlets on and were using them to propel himself in the right direction.  On his feet seemed to be some kind of technology that was similar, pushing him forward in the sky.  Or at least, they tried. Every once in a while, the lights in the boots would flutter and Tony would drop a few feet.  Either that or he would accidentally misdirect his gauntlet and would send himself spinning. Slowly but surely, though, he made his way towards them.

 

“Um… I don’t think he’s slowing down, guys,” Clint said suddenly, making some sort of mental calculation.

 

“Oh, shit,” Sam said.  

 

Tony shot towards them and Steve was honestly worried he wouldn’t be able to stop in time and would run into the van.  He braced himself to catch Tony, knowing that would hurt. But he couldn’t let Tony accidentally take out the only other mode of transportation they had.

 

At the last moment, Tony flung his hands out in front of him and pushed his feet under his body.  He hovered in front of Clint, Natasha, Sam, and Steve for a moment, grinning.

 

Then his boots gave out and he crashed the last feet to the ground.

 

“Tony!” they all shouted, surrounding him.

 

He groaned, but sat up, still smiling.  “Did you see that?! I was flying! I flew!  That was so fucking cool!”

 

“Until you fell on your ass,” Sam said, offering a hand to help him up.

 

Tony stood and only stumbled a little bit before he got to his feet under him.  “Details,” he said, brushing both the dirt on his butt and Sam’s comment off himself.

 

He straightened and looked at the rest of the group.

 

“Alright,” he announced, hiding his fear under his almost manic smile, “Let’s go invade Hydra.”


	46. Chapter 46

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ten more chapters to go... I hope that you guys have enjoyed the ride so far and I advise you hang on tight til the end. Things are about to get crazy!

It took them another hour for Natasha to just lock onto the guards from Hydra.  They stopped for gas again. They wanted to have enough gas that it would be easy to get far away from Hydra once they escaped. This time Clint pumped.  He came out of the gas station with an even bigger cup of coffee than the last one.  

 

Steve shook his head in loving exasperation at Clint as he clambered in. 

 

“Don’t look at me like that, Steve Rogers.  You’re not the one doing all the driving in this bus,” Clint sassed.

 

“True.  Thank you, Clint,” Steve said sincerely.

 

That clearly wasn’t what Clint had been expecting for a response.  “Yeah, you know...” he trailed off as he took a gulp of his coffee, starting up the van again.

 

“Are we there yet?” Tony asked from where he was lying on the floor.

 

Tony had realized, right before getting into the van, that he hadn’t brought any of the tools needed to take off his gauntlets or boots in his hurry to leave Shield.  Or shoes, for that matter. The boots were uncomfortable if he bent his legs too much. At least, that’s what he’d complained about for the first half-hour of being in the van before Sam shoved him on the floor.  He had been lying there, only mildly complaining, ever since.

 

“Close,” Natasha said vaguely.  “Turn right here, Clint.”

 

Clint did as he was told and Steve felt a shiver go down his spine.  He recognized these trees. This was the driveway to get to Hydra, he was sure of it.

 

“Guys, we’re here,” Natasha said in an expressionless voice.

 

“Okay.  Just pull up to the gate like everything is normal.  Natasha, make them see what they want to see. The rest of us shouldn’t say anything to make it easier for her.  Alright?” Steve confirmed.

 

“Like everything is normal, sure.  Not like we’re going back to the place that tortured us and others for over a year and a half.  Not like this is a literal concentration camp for special teenagers. No, nothing like that, just nice and normal,” Clint muttered in a jovially sarcastic voice as he kept driving forward.

 

Natasha put a hand on his knee.  He looked over at her, slowing the van even more as they got closer to the gates.

 

“You will make it out of there.  You will never be under the control of those monsters ever again.  I promise,” she said, her eyes blazing with determination.

 

Clint looked at her with more adoration than he did when he saw a fresh pot of coffee in the morning.

 

“I love you,” he said just before he came to a halt outside the gates.

 

Natasha smirked.  “I know.”

 

“Of all the moments to quote Star Wars to me, honestly…” Clint said, but he was smiling.  There was a moment when neither of them spoke aloud, just looked at one another. Steve had a feeling Natasha had non verbally said  _ something _ to him if the look on Clint’s face was any indication.  He turned to the approaching guard with newfound determination in his gaze.

 

“Identification,” the guard grunted, holding out a hand.  

 

Clint handed over a piece of paper.  Natasha’s face twisted in concentration as the guard looked it over.

 

“Go on in,” the guard said, motioning towards the tower to open the gate.  

 

“Stay warm out here,” Clint said as he rolled up the window against the slight nip in the air outside.

 

“I’m trying, buddy,” the guard replied as he walked away, stomping his feet to shock some warmth into them.

 

And just like that, they were going through the gates into Hydra.  They must have gotten new ones to replace the gates Bruce had smashed apart as the Hulk.  Steve felt a surge of vindictive pleasure thinking about that.

 

The tension in the van both decreased minutely as they got through the gate and multiplied tenfold.  Because there in front of them was their prison. Every building looked the same. The patch of grass that Steve collapsed on during his first escape attempt was still right there.  The barracks for the Blues that Steve slept in when he wasn’t in confinement were in the same spot as before. They all instinctively didn’t look at the building where people were taken for experiments as they drove past it.

 

Steve had to swallow down his nausea, glad it was night time so all the prisoners were asleep and not out in the fields or in the factory buildings to bring up even more memories than were currently swamping him.

 

_ Stay focused.  For Megan, Andrew, Kendra, and Troye.  For all those who are on the death list for a reason.  For all those we can save from joining them. We have to do this _ , Steve thought grimly.

 

He didn’t realize he had projected that to Natasha until everyone in the van nodded to him, determination in all their gazes.  They had to do this for all the teens who had been affected by the Tesseract.  

 

Even themselves.

 

“Okay, guys, we got past the first part.  Now we just need to get in and broadcast our message,” Steve said bracingly.

 

“You make it sound so easy,” Clint sighed as he parked by the docking area.

 

Steve scoffed softly as he reached behind the seats for the small cache of weapons there.  He said as he handed a handgun and a few clips of spare bullets to everyone but Tony, seeing as he wouldn’t be able to hold them anyways, “Call me hopeful, I guess.”

 

Steve resolutely didn’t think about the last time they were in this docking bay, when he’d held Dr. Erskine in his arms as he died.  Dr. Erskine, who turned out to be partially responsible for all of their powers. Dr. Erskine, who would be alive if not for Steve’s decision.

 

Okay.  Maybe he wasn’t doing such a good job of not thinking about all that.

 

“Natasha, there are cameras everywhere, so I need you to reach out and control anyone who could be watching.  I know that’s a lot to ask, but I need to push yourself. Clint can lead, he can tell us the best angles to stay out of their view as much as possible.  Tony, I need you to be ready to get us broadcasted to the public as soon as we get into the room. Sam and I will have your back, so don’t worry about anything else.  Everyone clear?” Steve asked.

 

There were nods all around.

 

“Alright.  Let’s go get out the truth,” Steve said, trying to sound bracing, but he wasn’t sure he succeeded.  Everyone looked a little sick as they opened the doors and climbed out.

 

They had to walk by the loading dock where Dr. Erskine had died.  Steve saw a dark stain on the floor before he tore his eyes away.

 

“Okay, take a right here,” he said once they got to the main building.

 

They followed Steve’s directions through the halls.  Because it was so early in the morning, there weren’t many adults around.  One of the guards on patrol walked right past them, eyes glazed from Natasha’s power.  Steve had recognized him and had almost wished the guard had been able to see him. He wouldn’t have minded picking a fight with that guy.  He could see Bucky rolling his eyes at Steve, telling him to suck it up and keep moving. So he did just that.

 

It was surprisingly easy to get to the broadcasting room.  Steve knew they had Natasha to thank for that. But his trust in her abilities didn’t stop him from looking around, paranoid someone would raise the alarm at the very apparent teens walking through the halls.  He could tell Tony and Sam felt the same, as they were doing the exact same thing.

 

“Alright,” Clint said, reaching for the handle.

 

Tony, who had been distracted by looking down the hall yet again, turned back to Clint as he spoke.  His eyes widened.

 

“Clint, wait!” he yelled, but it was too late.

 

The moment Clint’s hand grasped the door handle, his entire body seized up and he shook for a few seconds before he fell to the floor and lay there without moving.

 

“Clint!” Natasha shouted, distracted, kneeling beside him, turning him on his back, and making sure he was still breathing.

 

Seconds later, the alarms started.


	47. Chapter 47

“Shit!” Sam said, looking from Clint on the ground to down the hall where they could hear footsteps approaching.

 

A lot of footsteps approaching.

 

“Step back!” Tony ordered, raising one of his gauntlets.  

 

Steve barely heard as the sound of the gauntlet going off or the door being blown in as he turned his attention to the guards now streaming down the hall.

 

“Tony, get it set up!  We’ll hold them off!” Steve shouted, running forward to meet them.

 

The next few minutes were a blur as Steve fought guard after guard.  He recognized some of them. They were the ones who dragged him back to the Blue cabin after he had been incapacitated by the Noise.  The ones who turned away when cruelty was happening under their noses. A couple who Steve had seen taking kids away to become experiments.  Steve’s hits became even harder as more memories came back to him.

 

The guards seemed to never stop coming, pushing past the unconscious or dead bodies of the previous wave to get at Steve, Sam, and Natasha.  Clint was still down, and every wave pushed them closer to where he was resting. Steve began to fight harder, let go of the tether he kept on his strength even more every inch that they gave towards the broadcasting room.

 

“Steve!”  Tony’s gauntlet went off and blow the guards back, giving them a moment to breathe.  “I got it set up! Just go in there and hit the record button. I’ll help them out here.”

 

Steve looked at Natasha and Sam, who nodded at him.

 

“Go, we can handle this,” Natasha said like her nose wasn’t starting to bleed from the strain of controlling so many people.  Steve didn’t even know how many people out of his line of vision were being controlled by her to keep them from coming and overwhelming her and the others.

 

“We got this,” Sam said, already turning back to the oncoming crowd of adults.

 

It felt wrong to turn his back on his friends, step over Clint’s body, and step into the broadcasting room.  But he had to let people know. They had to know the truth.

 

He found the record button Tony had told him about and hit it.  Stepping back, in full view of the camera, he tried to straighten up and make himself look as reliable as possible.  This would mean nothing if no one believed him.

 

“My name is Steven Grant Rogers.  If any of you have been unfortunate enough to have to look at the list Hydra put out of dead gifted teens, you might have seen my name.  But I’m alive. Unfortunately, I cannot say the same of all the names on that list. Hydra lied to you. Hydra has been lying to you since the beginning.  When they said some of the teens succumbed to their powers, it wasn’t true. Kids were taken away for experimentation. Hydra deemed the results of those tests were more important than the lives of the people they were experimenting on.  Others tried to escape from the camps they put us in when they took us away and were killed by guards in the process. I’m truly sorry to leave some of the people watching in a grey area of if your child is alive or not. Believe me, if I could, I would get every single one of the children given over to or forced into the hands of Hydra back to their families.  But… I can’t.”

 

Steve tried not to flinch as there were gunshots in the hallway.  Tony’s gauntlet went off and Steve could do nothing more than hope his friends would be able to hold the guards off a little longer as he continued talking, faster now.

 

“For the last two years, the government organization Hydra has been lying to the American public.  Your children weren’t cared for under their possession. They were experimented on, forced to work, and tortured when they tried to escape.  During my time at Hydra, I attempted to escape five times. Punishment included confinement and starvation. And that was only if they didn’t shoot you during your attempt first.  It wasn’t until I received adult help that I succeeded in getting away. Agents from the organization Shield helped my escape. But I found out recently their actions were fueled by their own guilt.  They caused all us teenagers to gain our powers while experimenting on a force called the Tesseract. Because teenagers are going through lots of changes already because of puberty, they were affected the most by the Tesseract.”

 

Steve felt something tickle his forehead and, thinking it was just hair, he wiped it away.  His fingers came away stained in blood.

 

“Huh.  Whoops.  Sorry I’m not looking my best, but we kinda had to fight our way in here to tell you the truth.  But you had to know. Your children have been going through hell. When they are released to you, they are going to need love, time, and respect.  I hope you can give them that. Please, give them-” 

 

The rest of Steve’s sentence was cut off as he choked on his air.  The Noise had started up over the loudspeakers.

 

Steve was honestly surprised it took this long.  No matter how good Natasha was, she was bound to get too tired eventually and accidentally let someone through her mental net.

 

On camera, in front of the eyes of what he hoped was millions, Steve Rogers twitched and cried and screamed under the effects of the Noise.  But he locked his knees and stayed standing. When the pain got too much, he collapsed against the desk and curled into himself.

 

Pushing himself to look into the camera, he said around the blood in his mouth, “You have to save us.”

 

He stopped the recording as he fell to the floor.  

 

He had done what he had come here to do.

 

Steve knew he should fight the pain of the Noise more.  Should try to get himself and his friends to safety. But he was so tired.  Tired of pain. Tired of constantly having to pretend to know what to do next.  Tired of having to be awake and act like he was fine when all he wanted to do was curl up somewhere and cease to exist for a while.

 

If he was perfectly honest with himself, he wouldn’t even care if one of the guards came into the room right now and shot him in the head.  At least then all the shit he had been going through would be done and he would finally be free.

 

But his friends and Bucky and all the others who were still under Hydra’s control wouldn’t be.

 

_ Dammit. _

 

It was quite possible he was delirious with pain.  But he felt as if someone, someone familiar, so very achingly familiar had brushed the hair off of his forehead.  He knew that touch, had felt it soothe him after coming home with a black eye and bruised knuckles from another fight with a bully, after coughing for hours and still not being able to get a breath, after hearing his mother’s quiet acceptance that she couldn’t get up from this one.

 

_ No matter what, Steve, you have to always get back up again. _

 

Twitching every time he moved, the Noise dragging daggers down his nerve endings, dripping blood onto the floor from his mouth as he panted through the pain, Steve dragged himself towards the hall.  There were a lot of bodies on the ground out there. His friends lay side by side, also feeling the effects of the Noise. Steve pulled himself towards them, slowing inching his way across the floor slick with blood.  Blood he added to with his own the further he went.

 

He was vaguely surprised the guards hadn’t come to take them out yet.  It seemed like the adults were unwilling to attack again until they knew Steve and the others were fully taken care of from the Noise.  Given the number of unconscious or dead agents surrounding them, Steve didn’t really blame them.

 

He fully collapsed next to his friends.  He managed to make eye contact with all of them one by one.  Even Clint, who must have gotten the worst wake up call in the world as his nerve endings were set on fire from the Noise’s effects.  Trying to assuage the pain he saw in their gazes, he nodded to each of them, letting them know he got the message out.

 

It wasn’t until they were all motionless on the floor that the guards turned off the Noise.

 

Steve heard the guards approaching and he tried to move, to fight, because if he didn’t they could all die right here on the floor in the middle of this hell.  But he couldn’t make his arms and legs respond.

 

He looked at Natasha.  There were tears dripping down her face from the pain the Noise had caused.  As he looked at her, her eyes scrunched up, causing more to fall as she concentrated.

 

_ You guys,  _ Steve heard her say to him and probably also the others,  _ I don’t have the energy to get out of here and also get you guys to safety.  If I move, it might break my mental concentration. I’m really sorry to do this. _

 

Steve felt her enter his mind.  He tried to fight, to bring up his mental barriers again, but his brain wouldn’t cooperate with him.

 

_ I’m so sorry about this.  Clint, I’m so sorry. _

 

Steve’s mind went blank.  He had no idea what happened after that.

 

He woke up in the van, driving away from Hydra’s gates.  Looking around, his addled brain started to do a headcount.  

 

_ You have to save them, okay?  All the ones left _ , Natasha demanded mentally.  

 

Clint was the first to understand what she had done.

 

“No…” he moaned.  Steve could tell he was trying to stomp on the brake, to jerk the wheel around to go back to the facility they had somehow just escaped from.  But Natasha must be holding him back.

 

_ No, Clint, you have to keep going.  Not just away from here, but after this.  Keep going. _

 

Steve finished counting the people around him and felt ready to vomit.  They were one person short.

 

Natasha wasn’t in the van with them.

 

_ Don’t worry about me, boys _ , Natasha said, trying to sound flippant over the pain in her tone. _   I’ll be fi- _

 

Her voice cut off.

 

“TASHA!” Clint screamed as the others also called out her name.  Steve couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t think. 

 

There was no response.


	48. Chapter 48

It was good that Tony could figure out any machine at a glance, because after they lost contact with Natasha, there was no way Clint was fit to drive.  He got them far enough away from Hydra to feel safe pulling over and hiding under the cover of some trees. Then he fell apart.

 

At first, Steve could just see Clint’s shoulders hunched into himself.  Steve was in such a state of shock from all that had just happened that he wasn’t the one to reach out to Clint as his shoulders started to shake.

 

Sam put a hand on his arm, but Clint jerked away.  In doing so, he hit the steering wheel. Apparently, that was just what he needed as he began to hit the wheel over and over again, sobbing.  The rest of the occupants of the van let him. Steve knew he had wanted to do the same when he had realized Bucky had been taken again and he would bet money Tony had felt it, too.  Hell, he might have actually done so when Steve was still unconscious.

 

Tony reached forward to Clint’s other shoulder, only to realize then, from the look on his face, that he was holding a wrench.

 

“Figures…” he muttered, using it to loosen the gauntlets and boots on his body.  It was the perfect size.

 

In that moment, Steve really hated Natasha.  Because not only did she sacrifice herself for them, get them to safety, and, in so doing, break Clint’s heart, she found the time and energy to get Tony the tool he needed.

 

He shook himself, focusing as much as he could.  It was hard because he was starting to get flashes of their escape out of the hospital.  Throwing punches, firing his gun, pushing his friends in the right direction to the van… all the while, Natasha’s voice in the back of his mind, encouraging him onward.  Dammit Natasha.

 

God, he was so tired.  If this is how he felt after one mind-controlled mission, he couldn’t imagine coming out of many.  How had the Reds at Shield who had gone through deconditioning done it?

 

They rearranged, moving Tony to the driver seat and Sam, Clint, and Steve in the back seat.  Clint was between them, still shaking and crying, but more out of habit than any actual emotion at this point.  His body just didn’t know what else to do. Steve noticed as time went on Clint’s head lolled back against the headrest until he finally fell into an emotionally-exhausted sleep.

 

Steve didn’t mean to, he really didn’t, but his own exhaustion from the day caught up with him and he did the same.

 

Getting back to Shield was awful.  There was a crowd of people waiting for them, cheering for them.  They must have known about their mission, that they were successful.  But it didn’t feel like a victory. Not how they had escaped. Not without Natasha.

 

As soon as they got out of the van and closed the door behind them, as soon as it became apparent that they were one person short, the cheers died down.

 

Thor pushed his way forward, a smile still on his face.  “Welcome back, my friends! You have no idea how pleased I am to see you back safely.  You were exceedingly brave. Wait…” His face fell as he looked around. “Where is Natasha?” he asked.

 

“She… got us out.  But… she stayed behind,” Sam said, checking on Clint.

 

Thor followed his gaze and saw Clint, who was hunched in on himself, a miserable expression on his face.  Going over to him, Thor put a hand on his shoulder.

 

Clint looked up at the other boy, his eyes still puffy from crying earlier.

 

“Natasha is the best kind of warrior.  She knows when sacrifices are needed. But she also is strong.  It would take more than the entire power of that facility to break her, Clint.  You know this. Now it’s up to you to fight too. Fight to get her back. Fight to honor her sacrifice.”

 

Clint’s eyes filled up again.  “Thor, I… I’m just too  _ tired _ .”  He thunked his head onto Thor’s chest.

 

Thor patted his head.  “You don’t have to fight now.  Rest, recover, then rage. You will need energy for revenge.”

 

Clint nodded against Thor’s chest then moved away, towards his bed.  The crowd parted for him, some of the campers giving him consoling pats on the back as he passed.

 

As soon as he was out of earshot, Thor turned to the others, a dark expression on his face.  “What is to be done?”

 

Steve looked at the others, then started.  They were all looking at him.

 

He sighed.  “Guys, I know I’m supposed to be the man with the plans.  But my last one got Natasha captured. I’m sorry, but I’ve got nothing.”

 

Sam looked at him sideways.  “Nothing. You sure?”

 

Steve groaned.  “Come on, Sam. I…”  He paused, because as crazy as it was, an idea was starting to form.  “Well…”

 

“Knew it,” Sam boasted, looking smug.

 

“Shuddup.  I shouldn’t even say it out loud.  It makes the last plan look like a jaunt through Central Park,” Steve protested.

 

“Well, seeing as your safety isn’t guaranteed in Central Park either, I’d say we’re doing okay then,” Tony said.

 

“Tony, I’m serious.  It’s insane.”

 

“Quit stalling and tell us, Rogers,” Dum Dum said from the crowd.  Steve had actually forgotten they had an audience, his brain was too busy going over his still-forming plan.

 

“Well… I say we do what Fury trained us to do all along.  I say we take everyone from Shield and storm Hydra, saving all the kids there once and for all,” Steve said.

 

Tony’s eyebrows were halfway up his forehead.  “Yup, that’s insanity.” But then he got a look on his face.  He seemed to be pondering the idea. “We would have to focus our attack on the guards, specifically wherever they control the Noise.  That’s what bit us in the butt this time.”

 

“And we’d have to have a way of getting us all there,” Sam said.

 

“And we’d need to protect those at the camp who do not know how to defend themselves,” Thor continued.

 

“Not to mention, there has to be a way of getting all of us out of there if we succeed,” Steve said.

 

“Insanity,” Dum Dum concluded.

 

They all nodded.

 

“Let’s do it,” Tony said.


	49. Chapter 49

The next week was full of preparations for their full-scale attack on Hydra.  First though, there had been a vote of all the people in Shield on whether or not they wanted to go through with it.  Steve had insisted they have everyone’s opinion. He wouldn’t force anyone to help if they didn't want to. They had been forced to do enough for a lifetime.  

 

It had been a nearly unanimous vote that yes, they wanted to take on Hydra.  Those who said no would be able to stay at Shield until it was all over.

 

There had also been some very tense conversations with Fury.

 

Steve’s first stop after the decision had been made was Fury’s office.  Before Fury could even open his mouth as he walked in, Steve had asked, “When you planned to use all of us to fight Hydra, what was your plan?”

 

“Why do you want to know?” Fury asked.

 

“Cause that’s what we’re gonna do.  But now we’re choosing to do so,” Steve replied.

 

Fury sighed, putting his head on steepled hands.  “I’m not your enemy, Steve.”

 

Steve fell into one of the chairs opposite Fury’s and leaned back against the headrest, suddenly exhausted.  He looked up at the ceiling as he said, “Fury, if not for you and your agency’s actions, I would be graduating from high school in a few months.  I would have been able to see my best friend’s baby sister grow up and she would actually know his name. I wouldn’t be worried every day for my life or the lives of all my friends and other teenagers affected by the Tesseract.  Kids wouldn’t be dead. Kids wouldn’t be mentally scarred. Kids would be safe. So you’ll forgive me if, even if you’re not an enemy, I don’t consider you a friend anymore.”

 

Fury nodded.  “I understand.”

 

Steve doubted he did, but didn’t want to fight about that.  He had to focus. 

 

“So… how were you going to do it?” Steve asked again, and this time, the words weren’t as sharp.

 

“At that point, it wouldn’t matter if we were caught.  We’d show our hand completely. I’d call in every person, every favor I have.”

 

Steve looked at him.  “I’m asking you to do that now.”

 

He half expected Fury to refuse, but he just nodded and got started.

 

It took a week, but they were ready.

 

School buses started to show up at dawn until there were enough to hold all the teens who were going to attack Hydra.  It was going to be a long drive, so they had decided to head out in the afternoon to be able to strike when they arrived after dark.

 

Friends said goodbye to those who were staying behind.  Steve tried not to think about the possibility they wouldn’t see each other again.  He was attempting to stay positive, because if one person’s attitude plummeted, then everyone’s would.

 

They loaded the buses.  Some people had personal weapons that were placed on the floor or crammed next to people on seats.  There was a whole bus full of guns, knives, and anything in between. Steve thought he saw Fury pack a bazooka in there, though he might have been mistaken.

 

Steve was surrounded by his friends, but there were a few faces on the bus he knew, but didn’t know the person’s name.

 

“I’m Scott, hi,” a sandy-haired teen said after Steve asked him.

 

“Steve,” he said, nodding back.

 

“Oh, I know.  You’re kinda well known at this point, dude.”

 

Steve laughed.  “Good to know. How come I haven’t seen you around?”

 

Scott shrugged.  “I wasn’t at Hydra, I was at one of their facilities a bit further north.  Once I got to Shield, I kinda stayed on the down low, ya know? Didn’t want to cause any waves.  But this is too good an opportunity, couldn’t pass this up even if it isn’t the camp I was at.”

 

“We’ll get to that one too, I promise,” Steve said.

 

“I believe you.  And once we finish with Hydra, we might not even have to.  Domino effect. One falls and they all go down.”

 

“Hopefully.”

 

People talked and slept during the trip.  At one point, the driver pulled out a cooler and passed around sandwiches and a bag of chips for all of them.  Steve suddenly thought of Coulson bringing them donuts, and the next bite was a bit harder to swallow around the lump in his throat.

 

The sun had set by the time they got close to the camp.  The plan was to drop them on the main road and then they would approach the camp on foot, to help avoid detection.  Steve didn’t think they could just drive through the gates like last time, especially because they didn’t have Natasha now.

 

He sighed.

 

Sam nudged him with his shoulder.  “What you thinking about, man?”

 

“Everything rests on this, Sam.  If we don’t win today… everything means nothing.  The deaths, the experiments, the labor… all of it.  We have to save them. We have to win.”

 

Sam nodded, face serious.  “Well, it’s a good thing we’re going to, then.”

 

They got off the bus and went to the one full of weapons, stocking up as much as possible.  Once they were armed, Steve turned to his group of friends.

 

“You guys…” he said, then stopped suddenly overwhelmed with the desire to get them out of here, to get them somewhere safe where they weren’t in danger of being captured or killed.

 

But that somewhere didn’t exist anymore.  And if they didn’t succeed today, they never would.

 

“I want to say a proactive apology for anything that happens from here on out, seeing as this was my idea.  If anything happens to you guys-”

 

“Steve,” Dum Dum said, giving him an exasperated look.  “You’re being an idiot again. We chose this. While I can’t speak for all the others, I can for myself when I say, this is worth it.  No matter what happens, good or bad, I chose this. And so anything that happens is okay.”

 

His arm was around his sister, who nodded at her brother’s words.  Dum Dum had wanted her to stay at Shield, but she wouldn’t let him stop her.  They had almost come to blows before Dum Dum had acquiesced.  

 

“I feel the same, Steve.  I didn’t choose to become this, but now I can finally use the other guy to do some good,” Bruce said, smiling gently.

 

“And we can finally avenge all those we have lost or have been taken from us,” Thor said, fists clenched at his sides.

 

The group nodded.

 

“For Betty,” Bruce said.

 

“For Riley,” Sam said.

 

“For Kali,” Morita said.

 

“For Ian,” Falsworth said.

 

“For Alex,” Gabe said.

 

“For Marty,” Denier said.

 

“For Loki,” Thor said.

 

“For Pepper,” Tony said.

 

“For Natasha,” Clint said.

 

“For Bucky,” Steve said.  

 

They all stood there in silence, remembering why they were doing this.  Then, as one, they turned towards the facility and began their way to finally getting some retribution.

 

Hydra wasn’t going to know what hit them.


	50. Chapter 50

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CHAPTER 50, WE'RE GETTING CLOSE TO THE END FOLKS! Fair warning, seeing as the teens are back in Hydra, brace yourself for awfulness.

The teens from Shield split into groups when they got into camp.  The teens with less fighting experience were going to work on evacuating the kids in the different cabins.  They would get them to the safety of the buses. The more experienced fighters were going to take on the guards, making sure the Noise wouldn’t be turned on to stop them.  Another group would go to the hospital and help the patients there.

 

Steve and his group of friends had elected to go to the building where experiments were done and rescue the teens trapped there.

 

They made passed the main building when the floodlights turned on at a different part of the camp.  Then the Noise started. It was centralized, focused on whichever group had been caught, but Steve still felt it, as if someone was lightly dragging shards of glass over his brain.

 

Bruce stumbled.

 

“Hey, you okay man?” Sam asked, stepping forward.

 

Bruce jerked at the sound of his voice, turning towards them.  His eyes were bright green and as Steve watched, the color began to spread across his skin.

 

“Get. Back,” he grunted before he lost any ability to talk at all as his body transformed.

 

The other scrambled away from him, not wanting to get crushed under his sudden size difference.

 

The Noise got louder as more loudspeakers turned on.  The big guy turned at the sound, growling, then bounded away, crushing the nearest loudspeaker before moving onto the next.  

 

“C’mon,” Steve said, urging the others on as they had all stopped moving to watch the wake of destruction.  “We have a mission.”

 

They were almost to the building.  Looking at it made the hair on Steve’s arms stand on end.  One of the Oranges who had come, who was nowhere as powerful as Natasha or Loki but could still send telecommunication to the teens, said mentally,  _ I know where the Noise originates from. _

 

Steve saw a picture of the tower in the middle of the facility in his mind before looking over to see it in real time.  And suddenly, the Hulk was flying through the air, courtesy of a giant leap, and collided with the tower. It exploded. The Hulk landed somewhere out of sight.

 

The Noise was silenced completely.  Steve let out a breath he didn’t realize he had been holding.  He saw the others do the same before he turned back to the task in front of them.

 

Clint smiled at Steve as he nocked an arrow in his bow.  “Want me to knock on the door, Steve?”

 

Steve gestured towards the door.  “By all means.”

 

“This is gonna knock their socks off,” Clint muttered, drawing and letting the arrow go.  It flew through the air and collided with the doors, exploding them inwards. Steve felt the heat on his face as he charged forward with the others behind him, but paid it no mind.  

 

He was surprised no one was waiting inside to fight them off.  The hallway, which was long and dark, was uninhabited.

 

“Spread out.  Find anyone still alive.  If you run into a doctor or guard, do what you need to protect yourself.  Got it?” Steve asked.

 

He got nods all around as they broke off into groups.

 

The first three rooms they checked were completely empty.  There were a few beds in the next one. The straps that would immobilize its occupant were hanging off the sides.  

 

In the fifth room, they came across someone in one of the beds.  They were hooked up to an IV and chained to the bed. They didn’t need either though.

 

They were dead.

 

Sam went over and touched their forehead, maybe to offer a blessing, but he recoiled as skin touched skin.

 

“Steve, he’s still warm,” Sam said.

 

“Oh my god… They’re getting rid of the evidence.  Everyone!” Steve shouted, hoping all the other groups had a Red in them so they could relay his message.  “They’re killing off the teens. Find any person still alive, listen for struggles or heartbeats. Make sure they stay that way.  Move!”

 

Steve and Sam went faster through the rooms, checking pulses.  But all the people on their floor were already dead.

 

They ran up the stairs, listening for any fights on the various floors they passed.  Everything seemed fine until they got to the top floor.

 

“-away from her, you sick fuck!  I swear if you hurt her, I will kill you where you stand.”

 

Steve almost didn’t recognize Clint’s voice.  The barely contained fury there, as well as the promise of death, changed it.  It was deeper, darker. Unlike him.

 

Sam and Steve crept out onto the landing and down the hall, trying to find Clint.

 

“She’s been unconscious for three days.  The last experiment nearly destroyed her.  There might not be anything of her left,” another voice, one Steve didn’t recognize, said.

 

“You don’t know Tasha the way I do,” Clint snarled.

 

Steve could see him now, how he drew back the arrow on the string even further, ready to let it fly.  Steve peered around the doorway and saw a man in a lab coat holding an unconscious Natasha in front of him like a shield.  Her feet just brushed the floor as the man held her up with an arm around her chest. Steve’s hands clenched into fists as he saw that the man had a syringe in his other hand.  It was poised next to her neck, ready to plunge in and kill her.

 

The two men were at a standoff, Natasha trapped between them.

 

_ Natasha… _ Steve sent mentally, trying to get her to rouse.  There was no reaction.

 

“Perhaps not.  But I know her screams. I know the name she screamed the most when the pain got to be the worst.  Maybe it’s yours? _Clint_.”

 

Steve couldn’t see Clint’s face but his whole body was tense and shaking, like the bowstring he still pulled tight.  Steve looked around for anything he could use to help and saw a tray on a table in the room across the hall. He snuck over to grab it, testing its heft in his hand.

 

“Maybe I should keep you alive just so when she wakes up, she can have the pleasure of hearing you return the favor,” Clint said.

 

“You’re foolish if you think she’ll make it that long,” the man said before moving to inject Natasha.

 

Steve threw the tray end over end.  It was a blur as it flew across the room and hit the syringe. The contents sprayed everywhere as it exploded.  The needle fell to the floor. A piece of glass must have pierced the man’s hand, as he started to scream and shake it.  As he did so, he stopped holding Natasha in front of him, his grip on her weakening. She slipped to the side, exposing his chest.

 

Clint didn’t waste the opportunity. 

 

He let loose the arrow and sprang forward to catch Natasha, pulling her into him as the doctor fell to the floor.  Steve didn’t even bother to watch as the doctor fumbled with the arrow in his chest, his movements getting weaker and weaker before he fell still.  Steve walked over to Natasha and Clint, Sam close behind him.

 

“Tasha?  You’re safe now.  I’m here. I’ll protect you.  I promise. Please… just wake up.  Please be okay,” Clint said, cradling her face with one hand as the other wrapped around her waist, holding her up.

 

She didn’t move. 

 

Steve had to check she was still breathing to calm himself.  Her chest was moving up and down. There was just no other sign of life.

 

“Clint, we should see if the others found anything,” Steve said.

 

Clint’s jaw clenched, but he nodded.  He hefted Natasha more securely into his arms.

 

“I could-” Steve started to say, his arms out, but a look from Clint made him shut up and drop them.

 

They made their way slowly down the hall, then down the stairs.

 

“Everyone meet on the main floor, okay?” Steve called, hoping everyone would hear.

 

The group that was waiting for them downstairs was a bit worse for wear.  Dum Dum was holding his sister to his chest as she sobbed. There were grim expressions all around.  And only four faces were new to when they had walked into the building.

 

They had been too late to save anyone else.

 

“Natasha!” Thor exclaimed, and the whole group rushed forward as Clint walked down the stairs.

 

“She’s unconscious.  They tortured her,” Clint said shortly.

 

“Fuckers…” Dum Dum said.

 

Everyone nodded.

 

“You killed whoever did this to her, right?” Tony asked, his gauntlets whirring as he clenched and unclenched his fists.

 

Clint smiled darkly.  “He’s very dead.”

 

“Good.”

 

Sam cocked the gun in his hand.  “Now let’s do the same to the rest of these assholes.”


	51. Chapter 51

They met with Scott as they made their way to where kids were evacuating.  

 

“How’d things go on your end?” he asked.

 

“The bastards killed off most of the people they had been experimenting on.  We were too late to save most of them,” Steve said. “You?”

 

Scott swallowed hard at the news but gathered himself.  “All the kids are out. That big green guy has really helped keep the guards distracted.”

 

“Let’s get back to the buses,” Tony said, leading the way.

 

They were almost there when they realized they were surrounded.

 

“Shit…” Steve heard someone mutter.  It might have been Clint.

 

A figure stepped forward and into the light of one of the floodlights.

 

“Surrender or we will kill you,” she said.

 

Steve felt Tony freeze beside him as they saw who had spoken.  Pepper’s gaze was emotionless, even as she looked at Tony. She had one of Tony’s gauntlets on her hand.  It was the same one she had been wearing when she was taken by the Red Room.

 

Looking around, Steve realized many of the faces around him were people who had been at Shield who’d been taken by Hydra.

 

“Fuck,” he said.  It really summed up what he was feeling.

 

Tony took a step forward, hands rising into the “Don’t shoot” position.  “Pepper? Honey? It’s Tony.”

 

She lifted the gauntlet until it was pointed right at him and repeated without emotion, “Surrender.”

 

“Happily.  I’d surrender to you anytime, anywhere,” he said.  He paused as if realizing the double meaning to that sentence, but forged on anyway.  “You don’t wanna shoot me, Pep, right? Using my own weapon against me? That’s just wrong.  Put the gauntlet down, honey. Come on.”

 

“I said, surrender,” she said.

 

Steve heard his friends behind him shift, probably feeling the same discomfort he did from seeing Tony in the crosshairs.  He heard Clint whisper to someone, the words blending together as he kept speaking, nonstop. Steve couldn’t focus on what was being said because he was so tense, ready to spring into action to keep Tony from being shot.

 

“I am, I swear,” Tony said, taking another step towards her.  “Pep, you’re stronger than they are. You can fight them. C’mon.  Come back to me. Who am I going to annoy otherwise?”

 

_ Everyone _ , Steve heard faintly.  Even with the horrible timing, he was ready to laugh before he realized the voice he had heard was Natasha’s.  His head snapped towards where she was still in Clint’s arms. Natasha’s eyes were starting to open. The look of adoration and relief on Clint’s face as he gazed down at her made Steve have to look away, back at Pepper.

 

The hand with the gauntlet on it was shaking.  

 

“I will  _ shoot _ you,” she said, her voice cracking.

 

Tony shrugged.  “Then do it. Of all the things that could have killed me, I’m glad it’s gonna be you.”

 

The gauntlet whirred to life, the light glowing brighter and illuminating Tony’s face.  He didn’t back down, just continued to look at Pepper with total devotion on his face. Steve clenched his legs, readying himself to tackle Tony out of the way. 

 

Pepper paused, staring at Tony.  Steve could see the moment when she came back to herself.  Her facial expression changed from blankness to a mix of horror and amusement.  Pepper dropped her arm and shook her head in exasperation. “Only you could make a death threat romantic, Tony.”

 

“Well, what can I say?  It’s one of my talents,” he replied.

 

They stepped forward and were in each other’s arms in a heartbeat.  

 

“Agent 6301, those were not your instructions,” another familiar voice came from further back.

 

Tony and Pepper didn’t break apart, if anything, they gripped each other tighter as they turned to face the newcomer.

 

“Loki!” Thor boomed.  Steve was so happy Thor was his old booming self again, he didn’t even mind how loud he was.  Clint did wince, though, cocking his head to the side, away from Thor. Right. Hearing aids. Ouch.

 

Loki didn’t look away from Pepper.  He had the same blank expression that the rest of the agents did.

 

“Thor… I think he’s been brainwashed too,” Sam said, putting a hand on Thor’s shoulder.

 

“Mind controlling a mind controller?  That’s just not right,” Dum Dum said, shaking his head.

 

“Clint…” Steve heard Natasha say.  They all turned to her. Her eyes were open and she was gritting her teeth.  Her voice was as hoarse as when she had first gotten out of Hydra and Thor had taken her muzzle off her.  Only this time, she couldn’t speak easily not from being unable to use her voice, but from screaming with it.  “Help me stand.”

 

“But-”

 

“Clint.  Please,” she said, talking over him.

 

He lowered her feet to the ground with one arm, but kept a firm hold of her waist in one hand and shoulder in the other.  She swayed where she stood, looking pale and tired.

 

“This is not who you are,” she said aloud.  Steve realized she was using her power, not nonverbally like she usually did, but vocally.  Hydra must have really taken a lot out of her.

 

“Remember who you are.  Remember your loved ones, the people you left behind, the people you’ve met.  Remember the person you used to be before they got into your brain and played.  Remember yourselves.  _ Now _ ,” she said, and even though she wasn’t in Steve’s head, he felt the power behind her command.

 

Three people collapsed on the spot.  Other clutched their heads, groaning.  Steve saw as they realized what had happened, going from blankness to realization to horror.  Some started sobbing as what had happened to them hit home. Other turned to those around them, looking for a familiar face.  The worst reaction those who once again became expressionless, the vacant look on their face far worse than the other emotional responses.

 

Loki blinked, his facial expression changing from nothingness to anger in less than a second.  He turned away from them, pulling a dagger out of nowhere as he marched away.

 

“Loki, where are you going?” Thor called after him, hurrying to catch up.

 

“I’m going to the Red Room and I’m going to kill every goddamn adult in that sordid place,” he replied, still walking.  He looked over his shoulder at Steve.

 

“You might wish to come along, too.  They still have your boy. They’re going to keep him if we don’t save him,” Loki said.

 

Steve stared at him for a moment.  Bucky. He could save Bucky.

 

He turned to his friends.  Thor was still following Loki.  Tony and Pepper hadn’t let go of each other, nor had Clint let go of Natasha.  Bruce was still destroying the camp, if the sounds of destruction were any indication.

 

“You guys, I have to go with him.  I want you to stay with the kids and get them to safety.  Go back to Shield. Please,” he added, seeing Sam about to argue with him.  

 

“Steve,” Sam said, grabbing his attention.  “What do we do with the dead?”

 

Steve closed his eyes as he warded off the wave of pain and regret that washed over him.  If he had been quicker, if they hadn’t been so obvious when they broke in, if if if…

 

“Leave them.  Let Fury and the adults do something for once.  If we could let their families see them one more time and bury their children themselves, maybe they will finally find some peace,” he replied.

 

His friends nodded, the same emotions showing on their faces that Steve felt.

 

He looked at the group of former Red Room agents he had helped save: Dum Dum, Morita, Gabe, Falsworth, and Dernier.  “You guys want a bit of revenge?”

 

Denier lifted a contraption into view.  “I never got to use this here, it’d be a shame if I didn’t get to blow  _ something _ up.”

 

Oh.  That was a bomb.  Okay.

 

“Let’s go with the oily one,” Dum Dum said.  He kissed his sister on the forehead. “You go with the others.  I’ll see you back at Shield, okay?”

 

She punched him on the arm.  “You better come back, or I’m going to kill you, okay?”

 

He nodded, ruffling her hair, much to her apparent annoyance.

 

Dum Dum looked at the other former Red Room agents and then Steve.  Together, they turned and joined Loki and Thor at the edge of camp, where a black van was parked.  It must have been one of the transports from the Red Room. They all piled in. Dum Dum drove.

 

Steve felt his stomach twisted with nerves.  Not for himself. He was scared for the others in the van with him, going back to where they had been tortured and turned into weapons.  He was scared for Bucky, that the Red Room wanted to keep him for some reason. He was scared that now, when it would matter the most, Steve wouldn’t be able to save him.

 

He shook off those thoughts.  Doubts wouldn’t help him in the coming fight.  He had more important things to focus on.

 

They needed a strategy before they went off to destroy the Red Room and save Steve’s boyfriend.

 

Luckily, Steve was pretty good at coming up with plans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Five chapters to go! Thanks for coming along this far. I'm cap-and-cyborg on tumblr, come say hi!


	52. Chapter 52

“Shit,” Steve said. 

 

They had been driving for an hour when Dum Dum suddenly slowed.  Steve looked through the windshield and saw a line of trucks and vans blocking the road.  He recognized the formation. It was similar to the bounty hunter blockade they had fought through when Bucky had still been with them.  The vehicles weren’t black vans like Hydra or the Red Room, but regular pickups and SUVs. Normal people trucks.

 

Normal people who still wanted to take them in.

 

Thor looked out the window next to Steve.  “You have got to be joking.”

 

“Nope.  Either Hydra or the Red Room must have suspected we would do this, so they called in locals to help them out.  Assholes,” Steve added, glaring out the windshield. 

 

He turned to Loki.  “How are your mental powers?”

 

Loki scowled.  “As much as I hate to admit it, I am still recovering from what the Red Room did to me.  I’ll be able to help a little, but only vocally. My mental abilities are shot. But I can still fight.”

 

“Understood.  Alright,” he turned to everyone else, “I don’t think we’re going to get through this without a fight.  Last time we went up against these guys, they had nonlethal weapons and could use the Noise. They’ll want to take us alive so they can get their money, and as much as I want to don’t wanna kill anyone, I’d rather we not get captured more.  Alright?”

 

They nodded.

 

They drove closer and closer, waiting for the bounty hunters to realize the person driving was young enough to be a teenager.

 

“Stop where you are.  We need to search your vehicle.  Stop your vehicle and turn off your engine,” a voice over a megaphone said.

 

“Do as they say,” Steve said.  “We can’t get through by just driving.  We need to fight.”

 

Dum Dum nodded grimly.  “Weapon up everyone. We’re going to need them.”

 

Guns, knives, and ammo were distributed around the van.  Steve took two guns himself and checked how many bullets were in each.  He’d rather not shoot anybody, but if it came down to it, he would protect his friends.  These people were the same ones who captured children for money, without any worry for what happened to them after.  Steve didn’t like bullies. These bounty hunters were even worse than a bully. To Steve, they were unethical monsters.

 

Hence, the gun.

 

A bounty hunter got ten feet away from the van, then abruptly stopped.  Her eyes widened.

 

“Aw shit,” Dum Dum said.  

 

Then all hell broke loose.  They all burst out of the van as the woman shouted, “They’re all teens!  Get the Noise going!”

 

People poured out of their vehicles and three of them ran towards a van near the center.  Steve bet that was the one that generated the Noise. He sprinted over to the nearest truck and pulled the still-open driver’s door clear off.  He hurled it towards the van the Noise was coming from, crumpling the front end of it. There was a pause as everyone in the vicinity stopped in shock.

 

Then the real fighting started.

 

Steve lost track of what all of his other friends were doing as he was surrounded.  He had been right. The bounty hunters were using mostly nonlethals, but there were a few knives he had to either dodge or disarm.  Steve would occasionally let a shot off, mostly to scare the people surrounding him or to disarm them. His aim wasn’t nearly as good as Clint’s, so the hands holding tasers or knives sometimes were collateral.

 

He couldn’t bring himself to care.

 

He would get flashes of what was happening around him as he fought.  Loki’s knives flashed as he spun around a man, using the pommel to knock the man out.  Dum Dum flipped a man over his shoulder. Falsworth took off shot after shot, disarming and protecting his friends.  Gabe didn’t have any huge weapons, as there weren’t any available, but he seemed to be managing without any.  

 

Denier’s voice rang out, “Close your eyes!”

 

Steve didn’t hesitate to do so, even with people surrounding him with weapons.

 

He didn’t know where Denier had gotten one or if he had made one himself, but there was a flash of white light, just like a flash bomb.  Even with his eyes closed, Steve still saw stars when his eyes opened. He almost missed the fist coming towards his face. Dodging it, he didn’t see the one coming at his stomach.  With a whoosh of air, he crumpled forward, almost falling to his knees. It was good he hadn’t eaten recently, or it would have come up in a second.

 

There was another blow to his back and he was even more stooped over.  A blow one of his knees drove him to the ground. Once he was down, blow after blow rained down on him.  He tried to defend some of his body, but his back was exposed and he could only protect his head if he left parts his abdomen open.

 

“Steve!” Thor roared, running forward and tackling everyone who was hurting Steve.  Many were knocked unconscious just by that blow, but if not, Thor did so once they were down.

 

Steve was slow to get up.  Luckily, the others seemed to have the situation well in hand by then.  There were only a few people around still standing, and while Steve got to his feet, the other guys had knocked them out.

 

He looked around as he got to his feet.  His friends looked tired but not too badly injured.  

 

Thor approached Steve and gave him a shoulder to lean on.  Steve patted him on the back in thanks.  

 

“Are you alright?” Steve asked everyone.

 

They nodded.

 

“You?” Denier asked him, gesturing to the way Steve was still hunched over in pain.

 

“I’ll be fine in a little bit.  We need to get moving. We have to save Bucky and the other Red Room agents,” Steve said.

 

They got back in the van, Thor helping Steve get in with an easy lift.  Once he was seated, he let out a sigh of relief as the pain in his side and pain lessened.

 

“Let’s go.”

 


	53. Chapter 53

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've finally reached the chapter that contains the excerpt from the very, very beginning of the fic. Best of luck to all of you.

Getting into the Red Room was easy.  The Red Room agents had recognized Loki had admitted them, letting them park by the loading dock.  Loki kept a blank look on his face, pretending to still be brainwashed. Once they were parked, Steve nodded at the others and they burst out of the van together, taking the adults by surprise.

 

That had been their first fight.  Three waves of agents later and they were no closer to finding Bucky.

 

The fights were a lot more difficult than they had expected when they arrived.  The Red Room had a lot more adults than even Loki remembered, as the most recent one to be there.  They still had some teenagers there and under mind control, so Steve and his friends had to fight them as well.  They tried to fight to knock out, not kill, as the teens didn’t know what they were doing, but their opponents didn’t show them the same compassion.  By the time the last agent was unconscious, Thor, Loki, the former Red Room agents, and Steve were bleeding and bruised.  

 

And there were still more agents, both adults and teens, to fight after that.

 

“Get off of him!” Thor roared as two adults converged on his brother.  One he threw through a wall. The other Loki took care off. She fell, clutching her head, screaming.

 

Steve didn’t even feel bad for her.

 

They paused a moment in a hallway.

 

“Steve…” Dum Dum panted, hand over a cut on his arm that was steadily bleeding, the blood oozing through his fingers and dripping onto the floor.  “I’m not sure we thought this through.”

 

Steve was ready to agree when Loki’s head snapped up, his hair flying away from his face.  He had been leaning against the wall, breathing hard. He looked up at Steve.

 

“I found him.  He’s in the basement.”  For a moment, his eyes unfocused the same way Steve had seen Natasha’s do when she was in someone else’s head, then they widened as he came back to himself.  “They are going to put him under. Keep him frozen until they need their sniper again. You must get to him. Go. We’ll take care of the rest.”

 

Steve took off running.  

 

He found the stairs and leaped down them, from the first floor to the basement.  He had a second to look around and take in his surroundings. There were two guards down the hall, in front of a door, and four more sitting around a table closer to Steve.  They startled as Steve landed, all reaching for weapons. None of them, Steve noticed, had guns. Nonlethal weapons all around.

 

Before Steve had gotten his powers, before he had trained with Coulson and his friends, he wouldn’t have liked his chances.  Now, though, after all he had been through, he rose from his crouch and walked towards the guards, ready for the fight.

 

It still wasn’t a fair fight though, even with Steve’s skill as a warrior.  It was six against one. He was already tired from his other battles today. They were soon getting the better of him.

 

He managed to throw one of the agents away from him, through the door.  He caught a glimpse of familiar long, brown hair and fought all the harder.  Three agents were on the ground, groaning, the other three trying to hold Steve back when Steve burst into the room and took in the scene before him.

 

Bucky was strapped across his chest and legs, upright in what looked like a metal tube with a door.  There were some people in lab coats bustling about him, but they stopped and stared at Steve as he pushed his way into the room.

 

“No! No, you can’t take him away from me!  Bucky, Bucky, look at me! You’ve got to remember me!  Bucky, I love you. Please! Fight them!” Steve screamed, struggling against the guards that tried to hold him back from Bucky’s cryo tank.

 

Bucky turned towards him at the sound of the shouting, but Steve could tell he didn’t recognize him.  He didn’t try to break the restraints around his chest and legs. 

 

“Who the hell are you?” he asked, and there was none of the love they had protected and fought for in his expression.

 

Steve felt something inside himself break as he stared at Bucky.  One of the agents that had been holding him back hit him on the back of his head.  Going completely limp, he allowed himself to be dragged away, still conscious enough he could force his eyes open.  He never looked away from Bucky as he was pulled from the room. But Bucky had already turned away, disregarding the man he had loved all his life, looking instead at the doctor that would put him under as if nothing was wrong.

 

“You know me.”  He forced the words through mostly numb lips.

 

The door swung shut, cutting off his view of Bucky.  He struggled weakly against the guards dragging him away, but couldn’t put any strength into his arms.

 

“You love me!” Steve shouted down the hall, hoping Bucky would hear him. 

 

The guards dragged him back up the stairs.  Steve felt each stair bruise his back, but couldn’t do anything to stop them.  He didn’t know why they hadn’t just killed him in the basement. Maybe they were worried he would break free once again and actually manage to save Bucky this time.  Maybe they didn’t want to get blood on the walls. Or maybe, he realized as an agent went down the hall and returned with a gun, they just didn’t have the kind of weapon downstairs that they wanted to use.

 

He didn’t hear any fighting on the main floor anymore.  He wasn’t sure if that meant his friends had moved the fight somewhere else or if they had been overcome with agents.  The two agents with holds on his arms dragged him outside. They dropped him and he fell forward, face first, into the ground.  One of them pulled him up by the hair, so he was kneeling, before hitting him again. His face jerked the side with the force. Blood flew from his mouth.  The inside of his cheek was definitely bleeding.

 

“Take care of him,” one said as they walked back inside.

 

The agent with the gun cocked it and pointed at Steve.

 

Steve wanted to scream as he looked down the barrel of the gun, but refused to flinch away from the thing that would finally kill him.  He was so close. He had almost been able to do all the things he had wanted to do: save his friends, save the other teens, save Bucky. Check, check, ...no check.  He was more angry about that then he was sad or scared about the fact that he was about to die.

 

If Bucky was himself and knew Steve’s thoughts right then, if they got out of all this alive and could laugh about it someday, he would have chuckled, shaking his head, saying, “Figures, Rogers.  Still fighting until the very end.”

 

Steve was so tired.  Of fighting. Of losing.

 

Maybe death wasn’t the most horrible thing to happen.  His friends might get out, they might even save Bucky in the process.  Or else they would be joining Steve soon enough. Steve couldn’t really do anything about that either way right now.

 

He looked away from the man, towards where he had last seen Bucky.  He really hoped they would see each other again. Or else, what was the point of all they had gone through?

 

Steve did the unthinkable.  He let his eyes close and decided not to fight.

 

Which is why he didn’t see Sam swoop out of the sky and kick the man pointing a gun at Steve. There was a shout and Steve’s eyes flew open just to see a man flying across his field of vision.  Sam landed and, turning to Steve, said, “Good thing we didn’t stop for McDonald’s on the way here, Steve, or that could have been bad.”

 

Tony’s gauntlet went off, propelling the other agent through the air and into a wall.  Looking around, Steve saw Natasha and Clint. Clint was still keeping a watchful eye on her, but Natasha stood tall as she took in the building in which she had been forced to brainwash Bucky and the others.

 

Steve slumped in relief.  “Had them on the ropes.”

 

Sam held out a hand to help Steve up.  After being heaved to his feet, Steve pulled Sam into a hug.

 

“Thank you.  I didn’t… I didn’t think that was going to end that way,” Steve said.

 

Sam clapped him on the back.  “I’d say anytime, but you’d take that as an invitation to do stupid things.”

 

Steve pulled away, huffing out a laugh.  “Fair. Look at those wings, huh?”

 

Sam held out his arms and did a full three-sixty so Steve could take them in.  They were beautiful, if still clunky. But after being made out of scrap metal and hope, Steve thought they looked wonderful.

 

“We got back to Shield and realized this wasn’t right.  So I got my gauntlets, finished Sam’s wings, and we kinda carried Clint and Natasha,” Tony said.

 

“It was very dignified,” Clint said, smirking a little.

 

“I’m sure,” Steve said, but his mind was reeling.  How long had they been fighting, either here or with the bounty hunters, that the other group could get back to Shield, get weapons, and come here?  Those fights before had been even worse than he had thought.

 

“We need to find the others,” he said.  He leaned down and grabbed the gun that was going to be used to kill him.  He checked how many bullets it had, then turned to his friends.

 

“You ready?”

 

They all nodded and as one, headed inside.


	54. Chapter 54

Once they got back inside the building, they followed the sounds of fighting to their friends.  They looked even worse than when Steve had last seen them, and he felt a pang of guilt that he had left them to their own devices so quickly.

 

Between Tony’s gauntlets, Clint’s arrows, and Natasha’s mind control, they soon had all the agents incapacitated.  Falsworth leaned against the wall, breathing hard, then slide down it.

 

“Fucking hell,” he said.  He’d had an arm around his waist, clutching his side, but now raised his hand to have his fingers be covered in blood.  “They grazed me.”

 

“Shit,” Dum Dum said, also using a wall for support, hand over his arm.  “You too? I thought I was the only lucky one.”

 

Falsworth chuckled, then groaned.  “Owww, you prick, don’t make me laugh.”

 

Denier crouched next to Falsworth, checking his side.  His face was emotionless as he said, sounding winded himself, “Eh, just a scratch.  You’ll be fine.”

 

Gabe looked at him with narrowed eyes.  “You good, Frenchie?”

 

Denier waved him off, his own hand bright red.  Steve couldn’t tell if the blood was his or someone else’s.

 

Morita took a deep breath and let it out.  “You still have that bomb?” he asked Denier.

 

Denier patted the satchel at his side.  “ _ Oui _ , right here.  Why?”

 

“I say we call it a day and blow this place away,” Morita said.  

 

“We can’t,” Steve said, hating he had to say this.  “I didn’t get Bucky out. They still have him.”

 

Before, the atmosphere had been exhausted, almost defeated, until Steve spoke.  Instantaneously, everyone looked at him. He saw fires in their eyes that had been quenched, smolder into full flames.  

 

“Well,” Dum Dum said, pushing off the wall as Denier and Falsworth got to their feet, “let’s go get our boy.”

 

The adults in charge of the Red Room must have rallied too, as a larger group waited for them as they went towards the basement entrance.  The agents were all fighting for the wrong reasons, though, they had nothing to back them like Steve and his friends. Steve was so close to getting to Bucky.  His friends who were taken over by the Red Room fought for revenge, for the friends they had lost. They all wanted to save Bucky.

 

They got to the hall, the entrance was fifty feet away, but there were so many agents between them and it.

 

“Sleep!” Natasha commanded and all the agents within earshot collapsed, giving them a moment of reprieve.

 

They didn’t move forward just yet, using the opportunity to take a breath.  

 

Clint cocked his head to the side, considering something.  “Um, guys? My hearing aids might be acting up, but I think I hear screaming down the hall.”

 

Down the hall, where Bucky had been.  Steve surged forward, plowing through agent after agent to get back to him.  He couldn’t let Bucky be put under. Not when he was this close.

 

The further down the hall he got the more distinct the sounds got.  Someone else was fighting, grunts and cries of pain echoing back towards Steve as he moved forward.

 

Steve punched an agent out of the way, clearing his field of vision to see…

 

Bucky.

 

Metal arm whirring as he threw an agent into the wall, hair flying around his head, that fierce fighting expression on his face as he turned to his next opponent.  As he spun around, their gazes met. Bucky’s eyes widened.

 

“STEVE!” he shouted, surging into a sprint towards him, taking down any agent who dared get in his way.

 

Oh God.  He remembered.

 

Bucky remembered him.

 

“Buck…” Steve said brokenly, so quietly he barely heard himself, as he too pushed his legs as hard as he could to close the distance between him and the man he loved.  The agents who got in his way were soon trampled.

 

They crashed together, not even hugging, but clinging to one another in a far more desperate way.  Steve was going to have bruises from where Bucky’s metal arm dug into his ribs and he knew he was gripping too tightly, but he couldn’t stop.  Bucky was in his arms, he remembered him, he was here, breathing Steve’s air and-

 

Oh.

 

And kissing the life out of him, holy shit.

 

Once his brain caught up with his lips, Steve was more than happy to return the favor.  

 

“Um, guys, I’m super thrilled you’re having this moment, but can it wait literally until  _ any other time _ ?!” Tony shouted exasperatedly.

 

Steve forced himself to break away from Bucky to see that his friends had formed a defensive ring around them, allowing them to have their reunion in relative safety.

 

Taking one more moment, Steve pressed his forehead against Bucky’s.  

 

“I _ love _ you,” Steve breathed, because he couldn’t not, not when Bucky’s hand came up to cup the back of his head, holding him there.

 

Bucky pulled him into another brief, brutal kiss, then pulled back to growl, “More of that later.”

 

Steve could see there was still a slight blankness to Bucky’s eyes, that he wasn’t fully back from the weapon the Red Room had turned him into.  But he didn’t care. They would fight through this. They would win. They would get better and be with one another and help each other through whatever there was to come.

 

For now, though, Steve smirked, knowing what the wildness in his own eyes did to Bucky.  “You bet. You’re gonna have to work for it though, Buck.”

 

Bucky grinned, so many teeth showing it was almost a snarl, as he let go of Steve.  “Well, what kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn’t put in some effort for you?”

 

And he proceeded to flip over the protective ring of their friends to land on an agent’s shoulder, flattening him to the ground.

 

Steve really wished he could have just stood there and watched his boyfriend decimate their enemies cause holy hell, that was hot.  But he forced himself to close his gaping mouth, gather his thoughts, and rejoin the fighting alongside his friends.

 

It really wasn’t much of a fight after that.  Many of the agents, when they saw Bucky was no longer fighting for them, just gave up.  Those agents helped drag their unconscious counterparts outside. Steve and his friends did a final sweep of the place, freeing a group of brainwashed Reds who had been kept back from the fighting.  Steve didn’t know if they were untrained or if the Red Room wanted to keep them for a final effort, but Natasha broke their conditioning, freeing them.

 

Then Denier put the bomb in the basement and, once everyone was outside and safely away, let it blow.

 

After over two years of inflicting horrors, the Red Room was no more.


	55. Chapter 55

It was sort of surreal when the cops showed up.  In Steve’s mind, the world had gone to shit, so things like cops and being arrested were so different from what he usually had to be concerned with, he almost started laughing when the police came and said they were guilty of destruction of property.

 

“No, you don’t understand,” Clint said, his patience wearing thin.  “These assholes are the ones guilty here. Not us.”

 

“Be that as it may, there is still no building where there used to be one, and someone has to pay for that,” one of the cops said.

 

“Do you mean figuratively or literally, cause I could probably cover that,” Tony said, looking over at the rubble.

 

Steve pushed his way forward.  “Sir, we made sure any civilians were out of the building before the explosion.  You have to believe-”

 

“You,” one of the officers said, staring at Steve, “you’re the kid from the broadcast.”

 

“Yes, ma’am.  I’m Steven Grant Rogers.  Call me Steve,” he said, stepping forward and shaking the woman’s hand.

 

“You said… you said in the broadcast that our children were being tortured and forced to work.  You were bleeding…” She took in Steve and the rest of the group. They were bleeding now, too.

 

“Unfortunately, these people don’t understand when it’s best to just give up.  They wanted to keep their brainless little killing machines for good,” Bucky said, glaring at the people around them, from the Red Room agents to the police.  His eyes were still wild. Steve wanted to go to him, help him come back to himself, but he had to make sure they wouldn’t be arrested and separated again first.

 

“Son, do you mean that metaphorically or…?” the first cop asked.

 

“No, I don’t.  But I don’t think this is the place to say all of this.  Perhaps you could do your jobs and arrest these scumbags and we’ll come quietly with you and tell you everything?” Bucky suggested, but the look on his face was a bit too dark for it to be anything but.

 

“And a hospital for those of us who are injured.  But please, I will literally beg you, please don’t turn us in to Hydra.  We may have destroyed their main facility, but there are more and they would be glad to take us,” Steve said.  “You need to get squadrons to the remaining facilities. They were killing off the kids they were experimenting on, trying to get rid of evidence.  You have to save them.”

 

“I think you have a lot to tell us, back at the station,” the woman said.

 

Steve stood firm.  “I’m not going anywhere until you give me your word that you won’t harm me or my friends.  And you’ll find, I’m not easy to move.”

 

Dum Dum muttered to Gabe, “Does he mean cause of the super strength or the pigheaded stubbornness?”

 

“Both,” many of the teens whispered back.

 

“Son-” the male officer said.

 

“Do not patronize me.  I’m not your son. I don’t know if you have one, but if he was taken or given to Hydra, your actions right now could determine whether he lives or dies.  Choose,” Steve said.

 

“I want to believe you,” the woman said, holding up her hands.  “But I need hard evidence. All I have here are a bunch of bleeding teens, unconscious adults, and a blown up building.  You have to understand-”

 

“Oh, fuck this,” Bucky said, stalking forward.  Steve was worried for a moment he would harm her in his still addled mindset, but all he did was reach up and rip the sleeve off his long sleeve shirt, exposing his metal arm.

The officers gaped.

 

“This is what they did to me.  They took my arm. They forced this one on me.  I was awake. I felt it all. They didn’t stop no matter how much I screamed.  It was just another experiment for them. Look at this,” he said, pulling his shirt over his head, showing them the scarred skin when the arm connected at his shoulder.  “They plugged it into my spine, into my nerves. It took two months for it to stop aching and they never gave me medicine for the pain. And this is just one of the sick things they’ve done.  If you were to go around the group of people here, you’d hear other stories of torture and pain and suffering. In doing nothing, you are helping the people who did this to me and horrible things to all the other people here.  So. Final answer: are you going to help us or not?”

 

Steve might vomit.  Bucky hadn’t ever talked about the actual procedure that had resulted in his metal arm.  Steve had known it hadn’t been pleasant, but… he had never imagined that.  

 

He turned to the Red Room agents who were tied up off to the side.  They were the ones who had done that to Bucky. To Dum Dum, Denier, Gabe, Monty, and the rest.  They were responsible for the deaths of countless people, either by setting the weaponized Reds against them, or from the Reds taking their lives to escape the hell they were being put through.

 

Without looking away, he addressed the officers.  “If you don’t take these people away and see to it that they get what they deserve to the fullest extent of the law, I am going to act as the law right here, right now, and let them experience a tenth of the suffering they had inflicted upon others.”  He stared each Red Room agent in the eye, letting them know he was willing to kill them right then. Many didn’t meet his gaze. The ones who did looked away. Only one stared back. His glasses were broken and so was his nose. But Steve glared until the man turned his gaze to the ground.

 

A hand worked its way into his own, the metal giving away who it belonged to before Steve returned his attention to his boyfriend.

 

“They’ll get what they deserve, one way or another, Steve,” Bucky said, his voice rough.  His eyes were glistening.

 

Steve tightened his grip on Bucky’s hand.  “I know I haven’t always been able to keep my promises to you, Buck, but I swear, if the law fails us with this, I won’t.  I  _ promise _ .”

 

Bucky lifted their joined hands to his lips, kissing the back of Steve’s hand.  “I know, Steve. And I love you for it. But for now, let’s let these officers do their jobs, huh?”

 

They turned together to the police officers.

 

The female officer picked up her walkie-talkie.  “We need ambulances at my location. Send backup and a van.  Multiple suspects, ready the holding cells. Contact other stations to be on standby for rescues at other locations…”

 

Steve breathed a sigh of relief.  Things were finally starting to go right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe we only have one chapter to go and then this fic is finished!


	56. Chapter 56

That wasn’t to say that things got better right away.  Far from it, really. But it got better. Slowly. With difficulty. 

 

Steve held Bucky’s hand in the police van, stroking the skin over his veins, mesmerized by the simple details on the back of his hand that said he was right there, they were together, Steve was holding him.  With each breath, Bucky seemed to settle more and more. His shoulders got less tight, his eyes less wild.

 

“I know you don’t want me to say this, Buck.  But I gotta. I’m so goddamn sorry you got captured again.  If I had stayed with you-”

 

“If you had been with me, they would have overwhelmed you too and you would have been forced to watch as they dragged me away.  It’s not your fault and I don’t wanna hear it again, Rogers. You got it?” Bucky said, scowling at him.

 

Steve ducked his head.  He knew that was going to be what Bucky said.  He just had to apologize anyway.

 

Bucky’s head fell onto Steve’s shoulder.  “I didn’t even remember you, but I  _ missed _ you, Stevie.  God, I didn’t have a hold over my brain but even so, something was different this time.  It was easier to get out of their control, to fight.”

 

Steve would shrug, but it would dislodge Bucky and he couldn’t have that. He made his voice sound casual when he said, “It’s cause we love each other so much, Buck, duh.”

 

Bucky tilted his head to look up at Steve’s face and god, that angle did wonders for his eyelashes.  His pale blue eyes stared up at Steve, assessing him. He nodded, his cheek rubbing on the material of Steve’s shirt.   The fabric couldn’t be comfortable against his skin, not covered in mud and blood like it was. 

 

“Yeah, that makes sense.  I love you a whole lot, punk.”

 

Steve’s throat got so tight it was hard to choke out, “Jerk.”

 

He put an arm around Bucky and pulled him in even tighter to him and didn’t let go when they got to the hospital and got patched up, or the police station and got questioned.

 

He only let go when a police officer approached them and said, a quizzical look on her face, “Steve Rogers?  I have a reporter from CNN on the line. They heard that the boy who told the nation about what was really happening with all the missing children was here and want to talk to you.”

 

“Me?  Yeah, uh, okay,” Steve said, glancing at Bucky, who shrugged.

 

Which is how Steve ended up on CNN three nights later, giving an exclusive story to them about his time in Hydra, his fight against them at Shield, and his determination to save as many kids as possible.

 

He was wearing a suit that wasn’t his and a tie that was slowly suffocating him. That was, if the stage lights didn’t get to him first.  But he had a duty to all the kids who were still captured and the ones who hadn’t made it out alive to tell his story.

 

“The last time we saw you on a screen, Steve, you said that the children affected are going to need love, time, and respect.  Could you say a little more about that?”

 

Steve nodded, collecting his thoughts.  He had been briefed before the interview on where they were going to go with questions but actually speaking in front of everyone under the lights and in front of the cameras was much different.

 

“If I’m honest, we need more than that.  Yes, we need those things. We need our parents and the adults in our lives to understand we have been through something horrific.  These events will affect us for maybe the rest of our lives. But more than understanding, we need protection. We need to make sure no one can take advantage of all the teenagers and children with powers.  We aren’t weapons. We aren’t tools. We are tired, traumatized individuals who deserve to be free. I beg everyone watching to contact their congressperson and demand an act to protect the teens in their lives.  We can’t go back to what Hydra made us. And I think you will find, if you try to force us into service again, that we won’t.”

 

That last part hadn’t been part of the script, but he needed to say it.  He stared at the cameras, hoping someone out there felt the weight of his gaze.  He wanted them to know what he was willing to do to help all the kids affected by Hydra and their actions in the last three years.

 

The host laughed somewhat uncomfortably and moved on.  “We have reports of Hydra bases being liberated all over the country and families being reunited.  For our viewers, here’s a clip of a few reunions.”

 

They cut to the screen and oh no, Steve wasn’t emotionally prepared for this.

 

It was Dum Dum.  Dum Dum and his sister.  Dum Dum’s injuries had been severe enough he had needed to stay in the hospital, as well as Denier and Falsworth.  His sister had bullied Fury into having someone drive her there and hadn’t left since. Loki was also at the hospital being treated for a concussion and Thor had refused to leave his brother's side. Otherwise, all of Steve’s friends had gotten off with bandages and bruises.

 

Steve watched as a man with one of the bushiest beards he had ever seen, a red-headed woman, and three children burst into the room where Dum Dum and his sister were in.

 

“Dum Dum!  Dum Dum!” the littlest girl shrieked, teddy bear swinging wildly as she clambered onto his hospital bed.  She threw her arms around his neck, the bear coming around Dum Dum’s head to hit him in the cheek. He looked like he didn’t mind at all as he wrapped his arms around her.

 

The woman’s face crumpled and she sunk to the floor next to Dum Dum’s bed, sobbing, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

 

“Get up, Ma.  I don’t blame ya.  I just want a hug,” he said.  His voice was muffled, he was holding his sister so closely.

 

His whole family converged on him and his sister, who had been standing beside his hospital bed.

 

The clip ended with Dum Dum, disregarding his injuries, pulling them all into arms.  His face was mostly hidden with all the bodies surrounding him, but Steve was sure he saw tears falling down his cheeks.

 

Steve’s own eyes were watering as the cameras focused on him again.  He quickly wiped them, smiling to cover up his embarrassment at crying on national TV.

 

“What about you, Steve?  Are you going home to anyone after this?” 

 

Steve’s gaze went to the side stage where a shadow fit the form of Bucky Barnes.  Steve had been even more hesitant to have Bucky come than he had been to do the show itself, but Bucky had insisted.

 

“Like hell am I making you do this alone,” he had said.

 

Which was why he stood there, behind the lights and the cameras, keeping watch over Steve.

 

Steve couldn’t help the smile that graced his lips.  “I’m already home,” he said without thinking, staring at Bucky.

 

Bucky’s lips curved upwards and he shook his head in exasperation and adoration.

 

Shaking himself, Steve said, “Sorry.  I don’t have any living family members anymore, but my boyfriend-” He paused a moment and grinned at the fact he had just called Bucky his boyfriend on live TV.  “My boyfriend’s ma and sister live in Brooklyn. We’re going back to them soon. We just need to make sure it’s safe to do so first.”

 

“Totally understandable.  Well, thank you so much, Steve Rogers, for telling us your story.  After the break, more stories on the raids on Hydra bases and horrors police officers have found in them. And later, bounty hunters: how everyday citizens supported Hydra and the consequences they will now face.”

 

Once the cameras were off, the host asked Steve, “Where are you staying in the meantime?”

 

“Our friend Tony Stark has a mansion so he’s setting up as many kids as he can there.  Well, either there or other properties his family owns. It’s a bit cramped, seeing as there are so many of us, but we make do,” Steve said.  “There’s really good security, so we can finally feel like we’re safe.”

 

“Best of luck, Steve,” he said, holding out a hand, which he shook.

 

“That went surprisingly well,” Natasha said later that night.  All of Steve’s family from Shield had taken up one room of Tony mansion.  At least, those who weren’t still hospitalized. None of them liked to be far away from one another yet.

 

The prospect of leaving each other, going their own ways and back to their own lives, terrified Steve.

 

It turned out he wasn’t alone.

 

“I don’t want to leave you guys,” Clint’s voice said.  The lights were off. They were supposed to be sleeping.  

 

“Me neither,” Bruce said.  “Who would want me back as I am anyway?”

 

“Or me?” Steve barely heard Natasha say.  He didn’t know if she meant for anyone to hear her.

 

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, not that it made much difference with the lights off.  “I’m scared I’ll have nightmares at Winnie’s place and scare Becca,” Steve admitted into the darkness.  He felt Bucky’s hand tighten around his.

 

“I’m terrified I’ll hurt Becca or my mom without trying,” Bucky said from where he was lying on Steve’s left side.  Steve squeezed Bucky’s hand back and raised it to his lips, pressing a kiss to his knuckles.

 

It was quiet for a while, but none of them were trying to sleep.  There was too much tension in the air. Steve could feel the other’s anxiety at the prospect of being apart.

 

“I don’t want to go home and live there, now Riley is gone,” Sam’s voice came from Steve’s other side.  “It’s going to be hard enough to tell his family he’s dead, let alone live back home where I have so many memories of him.”

 

“I never got to know him, Sam, and for that I’m sorry,” Steve said.

 

“Thanks, man.  He would have like you.  Would’ve like Bucky more,” he said.  Steve couldn’t see his face, but he knew Sam was teasing him.

 

“I wouldn’t blame him.”

 

“Sap,” Bucky whispered into his ear.

 

Steve brushed a kiss against his cheek.

 

Pepper was the last to speak up.  “I can’t just go back to the way life was, not after everything I’ve seen.”

 

“You guys could stay here with me,” Tony said, trying to sound nonchalant.  “We have the room, especially once the other kids start to go to their homes.  I need someone to help test out my projects anyways.”

 

There was a rustle and the lamp clicked on.  Clint was propped up on his elbow, staring at Tony.  “Okay, I need you to say that again, slowly and clearly in case that was a hearing aid malfunction.  Did you just say we could stay?”

 

“Yeah?  I’m sure my dad would barely notice.  It could work,” Tony said, almost defensively.

 

Clint’s arm collapsed and his head thunked down onto the floor.  “Thank god,” he said, his voice muffled. “I don’t have anywhere else to go.”

 

Natasha reached over and stroked his hair.  It was the most intimate gesture Steve had ever seen her do.  Clint’s head jerked up and he stared at her.

 

“Will you stay?” he asked.  “Please? With me?”

 

Natasha’s hand moved from Clint’s hair to his cheek.  She didn’t stroke it, just rested it there as Clint leaned into her touch.  Steve tried to give them some privacy by looking away.

 

“You have me and I have you, Clint.  Always,” he heard her say.

 

“Good,” Clint replied, his voice choked.

 

Steve found himself looking at Bucky.  He had an idea, but he wasn’t sure Bucky would like it.  Something in his expression must have given him away because Bucky asked, “What’re you thinking about, Stevie?”

 

Steve sighed.  “I promised your ma we would come back.  I can’t break that promise, not after everything.”  He paused. “But I never said we would stay. It’s up to you, Buck.  I won’t force you either way.”

 

Bucky’s eyes were darker in the lamplight, but no less beautiful.  “I can’t trust my mind. Not yet, anyway,” he said. “I want to see them.  But I agree. I don’t think we should stay. And Steve?” He paused, leaning closer to him.  “You know I’m with you right? Til the end of the line.”

 

“Til the end of the line, Buck,” Steve agreed, leaning in until their foreheads touched.

 

“Bruce?  Sam? You in?” Tony asked.

 

“In!” Bruce said, the relief palpable in his voice.

 

“I’m with Bucky and Steve on wanting to see my family.  But I think it would be better for me if I stayed with this family in the long run,” Sam said.

 

“Awwww…” Clint said, nudging Sam with his foot.  He quickly retracted it when Sam went in for tickles.

 

There was a pause.  “Pep? Honey? Wanna stay?”  And god, Tony’s voice was full of emotion but he was trying so hard to hide it that it hurt Steve’s heart.

 

“Who else will make sure you get some sleep occasionally?  Or eat?” she teased before her tone became serious. “Tony, I’m not leaving.  Not just because of you, but because of all the kids still here. They need me.  But I will be here for you, too.”

 

“Good because I’m pretty sure you’re the one thing I can’t live without,” Tony said in a rush, as if by saying the words quicker would make them less emotion-filled.

 

Pepper reached out and stroked Tony’s cheek.  His eyes closed at the touch, the tension leaking out of his shoulders.

 

“Okay. I’ll let Jarvis know in the morning,” Tony said, settling closer to Pepper as he adjusted on the floor.  “I’ll bet he’ll be thrilled to have more people to take care of long term. He’s been in his element with all these kids here.”

 

Steve remembered the hollow look that had been on the butler’s face the day they had arrived at the Stark Mansion until he had seen Tony.  It didn’t even matter to Jarvis that there was a mass of teenagers behind him. Steve was pretty sure part of Jarvis’ newfound enthusiasm was that Tony was finally home.

 

But if Steve brought that up to him, Tony would get awkward, so he kept quiet about it.

 

“Thank you, Tony,” he murmured instead.  The other whispered their own thanks.

 

For once, Tony didn’t shrug off the gratitude.  “Like Sam said,” he muttered, “we’re family.”

 

“Awwwww…” Clint said, unable, it seemed, to help himself from teasing Tony.

 

“Shuddup,” Tony growled.

 

“We love you, Tony,” Bruce said, smirking.

 

“Oh my god, stahp,” Tony said, hiding his face in Pepper’s collarbone.

 

“You’re the best, Tony,” Bucky said, yawning, snuggling into Steve’s side.

 

“Mmmm,” Steve hummed in agreement, pulling him closer so his face was in the crook of Bucky’s neck.

 

“I’ll take that, but you two are on thin fucking ice,” Tony said, his voice muffled.

 

“Goodnight, guys.  See you in the morning,” Natasha said.

 

“Night.”

 

“G’night.”

 

Steve let himself appreciate the moment.  Bucky was in his arms. His friends weren’t going to leave him.  He had a home he felt safe to come back to. It wasn’t perfect. It probably never would be.  But it was a hell of a lot better than what it had been.

 

And it would be even better in the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And... it's done! Wow, this is the culmination of five years of writing, editing, and putting out this fic in segments. This is gonna turn into an "I'd like to thank the Academy" speech from here on, so brace yourself. First off, my friends that helped me edit, Liese and Rachel, you are the best and a huge reason why I finally got this fic out. To the people who commented every chapter as I put it up, especially rainbow_nerds, who I think commented on almost every single chapter, you made the whole experience of putting up a new chapter every couple of days so so fun. Thank you. To the people who read this once it's all out, I don't blame you, cause I don't read fics as they come out either, cause what if it doesn't finish?! And honestly, thank you to me, cause I got this done through college and sickness and a whole buncha bullshit. Whoo to myself :D
> 
> Thank you for reading <3


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